I know you know but I had to say. Completly spoiling a child will bite you in the but later on. They will grow up and say its your fault you didn't teach me any responsibility when I was younger. You had all the wrong things in the house to eat etc.etc. etc.... A parent has to be a parent not a budy. They will resent you later for it. Right now they are only being kids when they are seeing what they can get by with. Thats what kids do. Its are job to help shape them. Maybe you can motivate them by rewards. Something they want or want to do. Make the rewards come quickly, because that way they see them. But then also along side that Maybe you can make a bigger reward in the distant future.
CHRISFRAN2 3/2/07 1:25 P
i have an 8 year old daughter who is overweight, the doctor sent her for tests but everything was clear, she is a very active child and i have cut down her food and threw out all the sweets and chocs, my heart breaks for her because she is so aware of it she will cry every night going tobed because she is fat as she says, its inpossible to get her clothes tofit in er own age group so i have to buy her adult sizes, i have tried everything but notthing is helping i cant understand it as she is so active, im at my wits end and dont know what to do, her worst time for eating is at night, her sister is skinny and she keeps asking why is her sister skinny and she isnt, im distraught my own 8 year old daughter can feel so bad about herself, i myself have lost 20lbs before i joined here but it didnt help her, im started to wonder if she is eating behind my back, its awful to deprive an 8 year old of treats when all her friend are eating them in front of her, i am getting married in september and i got the 4 flower girl dresses already and hers doesnt fit anymore but it is the biggest size flowergirl dress they do i have to change them all now because she cried her eyes out why she tried it onagain last night and it didnt fit, it breaking my heart tosee her in so much turmoil over her weight. can anyone please give me any suggestions, it would be grately appreciated.
thanks a million
SILKENSTRAND 3/1/07 9:02 A
I TOTALLY get you on this. My girls are with their dad week on week off. He has no limits for them including bedtime, chores and behavior in addition to foods. I used to have to retrain them every week in how to act in our home. On top of that he is very sedentary. Their time together is spent watching television. Now that he FINALLY has a job, he drops the girls off to me every morning and doesn't pick them up until 6:30, so they are with me more frequently. By summer his trial will be over and he'll be in jail, so I'm just waiting.
In the meantime here's what I'm doing about food.
1. My daughters love fresh fruit. I buy it and set it out on the counters and on the coffee table. Bowls of cherries, grapes, apples, banana's... something so that when they come in the door after school wanting a snack I can point them to the bowls.
2. I also make fresh banana muffins, apple cakes, things like that, where I can KNOW what's going into them is healthy. Using lowfat margarine, egg whites instead of whole eggs, etc, allows them to have the "munchy" without the bad health.
3. At our house we have a rule that you have to try a bite of everything on the table. My middle daughter is my picky eater, but she's also my competitive child and likes to one up you. I'd remind her she had to try a bite, and my husband would say, "oh no, now you've done it! If she tries it she's going to like it, and then there won't be any left over for my lunch." All in fun, of course, but Mary would try the food, and sometimes you could see she didn't like it, but she would sit there and eat it anyway. This rule has caused my children to love foods like brocolli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, green beans, corn, peas, carrots, sauerkraut, zucchini, etc.
My problem isn't getting my kids to eat healthy. It's getting them to move. I did have a breakthrough a couple of weeks ago. The girls were watching tv, and I came in and asked who wanted to go for a walk. They thought I was looking for someone to walk our dog. When no one moved I said, "okay, I'll just go alone." They responded with, "You're going mom?" and when I told them yes they were all eager to go. 'Course I have strange kids who actually like to spend time with me... but hey, whatever works. We had a great walk and really enjoyed the time together out of the house.
SUNNY2DA2 2/28/07 8:32 P
My 9 year year old is slightly overweight also. We have been trying to keep in check what she eats, only 1 serving (unless it is a vegetable!!!) She eats salad on most days from the ala cart side items at school. She just isn't very active. I'm trying to lose weight and of course it has an effect on the whole family... mostly in a good way! She has lost 3 or 4 lbs in the last 3 weeks. The problem is when she goes to her dads house every other weekend and Wed night. He doesn't even care what she eats when she eats it or how much! She watches TV the whole time or she is with her grandma who doesn't limit her either. I have discussed this with her dad and he agrees that she needs to lose, but he doesn't do anything to help her. His excuse is that he works every other weekend and that on the weekend he has her it is treat for him to go out to eat. Buffets all weekend. His only "help" has been to get small bags of chips for her to eat, which she eats as she lays around and watches TV. I keep reinforcing what are better choices, better portion sizes. I even took her to a nutritionist (not a pediatric one.... insurance wouldn't cover it at competing hospital!!) and that was a waste of time and money. The lady had no pediatric experience, at least not that I could tell. I don't buy very much junk food. We roller blade in our unfinished basement sometimes, but that is all she will do and not too long either. I've tried to talk her into Taekondo, but she won't do it.
Any ideas?
BECCA4279 2/26/07 9:25 P
My daughter is 7 years old and about 20 pounds overweight. We started having set eating times at home, either eat what's served or wait until the next eating time. When we sit down to eat all of the food that we can eat is on each person's plate so there are no seconds for anyone. Even though more food gets thrown away now, we spend less overall on groceries because leftovers are packed up and put away right away. Seconds are also less tempting if they are already cold "leftovers" We also spend as little time near the kitchen as possible so she doesn't just sit and think about food. I know it'll be a lot harder as she gets older (what isn't ) but I just try to think of obesity as any other disease. If she was diabetic I wouldn't give her a jar of candy! (That's also how I'm trying to view my own weight issues) -Becca
DOLPHIN59 2/22/07 8:40 P
I have a 10 yr old son who is 5' tall and 155 lbs. I can't seem to help him. He has such a small variety of foods he will eat absolutely NO veggies. what can I do to change his eating habits
LAVANN44 2/21/07 11:13 A
My 13 year old son gained 60 pounds in one year. The video games are a big problem because he don't get any exercise. I need help.
I have a lot of the same issues with some of my children.
I have 5 children, 4 still at home, although two are adults.
The oldest 2, boys, are of a healthy weight. The oldest is very concerned about staying healthy, so I don't worry about him. The second oldest isn't obsessed with it, but he's within a good range.
My oldest daughter/3rd child, is 23. She's also a size 18 so I'm guessing around 190 pounds give or take 10 pounds. She won't tell me. She eats healthy so this perplexes me. I don't see her eat that much. She doesn't like candy and sweets or chips. She also doesn't exercise much. I try to get her to exercise. Occasionally, she goes to taekwondo class with me, but it's a good week if she goes twice in a week. She and my second oldest are the only two in the house that will eat the nutritious food with me.
My 16 year old/younger daughter is about 30 or 40 pounds overweight. She's the original junk food junkie and french fry potato (I heard that on another forum here and that so fits her - she won't stop eating french fries no matter how often or loudly I tell her they're very unhealthy). She thinks anything green (except money) is evil. She won't touch vegetables at all except for potatoes. She only eats a couple fruits and then not often. She does like orange juice a lot, but that's about it. At least she gets a lot of exercise and she tells me she's losing weight now. She's on two softball teams - JV (junior varsity) at her highschool, and the city rec league. She's also taking pitching lessons. And she does the taekwondo with me - although not since JV started as she's too worn out after having a 2 hour practice daily. She'll bicycle with me, but she will hardly ever walk with me unless I bribe her by going to Barnes & Nobles and sitting there for an hour or more so she can read her mangas. Or if we walk to Carvel and I get her an ice cream. Of course I want an ice cream cone, too, if we end up at Carvel. So I get the low-fat chocolate soft serve.
My 12 year old is the one who concerns me most. He's gained a lot of weight in the last year and he didn't start off skinny. He's also asmathic and this week he's been having to use the breathing machine a lot. He's a real couch potato. He always wants to be on the computer or video games or tv. Every now and then, he'll play on our trampoline. Tonight he did since the 16 year old and two of her friends were playing on it. He doesn't like to walk with me unless I bribe him with the ice cream. Occasionally, he'll bring his scooter to the park and scoot while I walk. But less than half the time. Since I have a 23 and 25 year old still living at home, there's almost always someone here he can stay home with. I signed him up for taekwondo for 3 purposes - mainly to learn discipline, but also to learn self-defense, and also to get him moving and out with kids his age. But I have to fight with him to go. He usually says he's sick and I can't always tell when he's fibbing about it. I think most of the time, but a couple times, I was wrong and he was feeling poorly so now it's a big quandary. He refuses to eat most of the healthy food I buy although he's much better than the 16 year old. He does like a lot of fruits and eats tons. He likes some vegetables. But he's constantly pigging out. We keep telling him to stop, that it's not healthy and that he'll make himself sick. I told him that again this evening. Then he had a huge fit and started crying and saying I called him "fat". I didn't say anything about weight or fat. I have witnesses. But he's extremely touchy and yet won't cut back. I don't buy a lot of unhealthy snacks, but I can't stop my hubby from bringing them into the house. Hubby yells when someone eats his snacks, but that doesn't stop the younger 2 from doing it anyway. Since I'm at work for a few hours when they're home, I can't watch the fridge all the time. The 23 and 25 year olds are tired of fighting with him about it, although the 23 year old tries. Then he has a fit about her.
Oi!
SILKENSTRAND 2/10/07 4:45 P
One thing you can do about portion control is to make plates in advance and bring them to the table. The other thing is to make just enough, so that there are no "seconds." These ideas tend to be working better for me, and are much more cost effective. Example, I used to make 8 medium potatoes (cut up and cooked) for my family of 5, now I'm making 4 medium. There's enough for a serving on each plate, but that's it. There aren't seconds. In the evening if they get hungry again I push them toward healthy snacks.
I went to the grocery store and bought a lot of fresh fruit. My girls love fresh fruit, so they are really enjoying that. Two hands of bananas gone since Wednesday (between lunches and snacks)! My kids are kind of odd, they like spinach dip, so I made the spinach dip recipe on the back of the Knorr box using all fat free ingredients. That and some rye bread (or other healthy choice) makes a nice snack for them.
I too struggle with the fear of stating my daughters are overweight. I don't want to damage their sense of esteem. What I do say is that they are beautiful and wonderful, and I don't want to see them grow up and face the same struggles I'm facing now.
Hope it helps,
Tina
AKHILD 2/10/07 2:16 P
I have am 8 year old daughter who is overweight, I noticed see gained more weight this winter. She is probably about 20 pounds over but I need to help her get this in control now. Because of her age I don't want to tell her she is heavy. On my next grocery trip I am not going to buy any junk food, just healthy foods. Plus, I am planning a family fitness time everyday, but my concerns are letting her see how important it is without hurting her. She is not happy about my new fitness plan. And how do I let her know that her portion sizes are too large. I would appreciate all the help I can get.
Thanks
CUDA440 2/9/07 2:06 P
Are you also signed up to get the family Fitness tips to your e-mail. I have found some great stuff from these. (Home tab, In the left side in red is account / e-mail preferences. Then under the new e-mail don't enter one, just click MANAGE e-mail account there are a few that you can check to get) The book I still want to get is called Fun family fitness By Rose Kennedy that said it had ideas for all ages, city and rural, and warm and cold areas. We have been able to go sledding a lot in our back yard (well not the last week) and have been burning some calories walking up the hill. What about that, or ice skating. Roller skating at a local rink? Do something fun with them maybe once a week as a family outing.
Beckie
SPARK_COACH_JEN 2/9/07 11:33 A
Hi Silkenstrand
I think it's great that your 17 year old is making better choices for herself and doing it the healthy way. I'll pretend I didn't see you say that she's on SP and not 18, since if I knew who she was I'd have to close her account :)
As far as your younger kids go, I agree with the previous poster that you don't want them thinking about "diets" but rather getting them used to the idea that eating right and exercising are just normal parts of their day. Doing activities as a family would be a great start. There are some good ideas for familyworkouts in the Fitness Resource Center. If you make exercise fun and not "hard work we're doing to lose weight", then they are going to enjoy it a lot more and you'll get to spend time as a family.
As far as food goes, I'd get rid of the junk in the house (if you have any) and have healthy snacks on hand. Cut up fruit and veggies so that when they are hungry, they have something they can grab easily. There's good ideas for snacks in the Nutrition Resource Center if you take a look. Also get them involved with meal planning and preparation.
As far as their father goes, have you talked to him about your concerns? I think there are a lot of ways he can spoil them besides giving them junk, so maybe you could talk to him about the example you're trying to set and how he could be supportive of that.
Hope that helps a little!
Coach Jen
RACH988 2/8/07 9:58 A
If it were me, I'd continue to buy healthy groceries. I'd also get them involved in some kind of physical sports activity. There must be something they'd want to do - softball, soccer, track, dance, martial arts, bowling, skating...
And the biggest thing you can do, I think, is lead by example. I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but taking a family walk is something we really enjoy.
This is totally just my opinion, but it sounds like they have a lot to deal with right now, so I would not hound too much on their food. If anything, maybe just buy set things and don't buy it again until you would need it again according to proper portions. I buy donuts for my son, and I only do it about every 3 weeks. If he eats them in 2 days, that's it, they are gone. If he only eats one or 2 a day, they will last longer...
SILKENSTRAND 2/8/07 9:08 A
All 3 of my daughters, though absolutely lovely, are overweight. They also are dealing with a huge amount of stress created by their father (my ex). The stress caused my oldest (now 17) to begin eating little to nothing. I honestly became concerned that she was becoming anorexic, but after studying her habits determined that was not the case. She's been eating about 1/2 servings of food for the last year.
On one hand this was good, because she was losing weight. This excited her (getting out of plus size clothes was a huge thing). On the other hand, I knew it wasn't healthy weight loss. This has now proven itself out because she has begun to gain weight (starvation mode).
She is seeing the excitement and success that I have about Sparks and wanted to join. Hoping to encourage her in "healthy" weight loss, I fibbed to the system making her 6 months older than she is so that she could join. She's taller than I am, and very healthy (as in not sickly), so I felt comfortable in this decision. She's begun making smarter choices in her food selections.
I also have a 15 (nearly 16) & 11 year old. I don't want to put them on a diet, but they are both overweight, not severely mind you, but overweight just the same.
I went into the kitchen and my daughters were eatting the nutrigrain eggo waffles I got. I also have light syrup. Two days ago the bottle of syrup was nearly full. Today it is 3/4 empty. Since my oldest and I are using 1 measured tbsp I know it was not us, but my younger two. I can't, and shouldn't have to, stand over them and make sure they are portioning correctly. I work from home, but I am working and they have been taught to pretend like I'm not here.
The other problem is, since their dad is about to go to prison (we're awaiting trial for something that he's told me he's guilty of), he's completely spoiling them the weeks they're with him. No chores, no activity but sitting around the tv watching movies, no restrictions on food or anything else for that matter.
So what can I do to help the younger two to lose weight? Is this something that I should be concerned about?
) but I just try to think of obesity as any other disease. If she was diabetic I wouldn't give her a jar of candy! (That's also how I'm trying to view my own weight issues)
