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HAPPYCAROL
1/31/07 5:00 P
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| For myself it is about time. It is happening.
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CBMOMMA2000
1/31/07 4:44 P
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| No way. I think it's exciting to take control of my life and improve it by improving my health.
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| I think the only reason I am ever scared of it is not the losing, but the fear of failure. I am scared of not being able to do it and having ppl think I am a failure. Or gaining it back....if I am just going to gain it back then whats the point of doing this at all
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| No fear here, only excitement. I want to live to my 90s like my great grandmother did, and like my grandmothers probably will. I've only told my husband and some coworkers, though. I don't want to tell my family, b/c somehow I almost feel like I get negative energy from them no matter what the actual words are that they say. I also won't be telling our friends, b/c one of the girls in our group recently started a diet and I'll be accused of "copying her." I'm also looking forward to looking fabulous b/c when we first started hanging out (our DHs are best friends), she would make comments like, "That outfit is so cute! It would look a lot better on me, though." You could tell she was completely serious, too. It bugged me, and I know I'll start hearing it again, so one of my goals is to make sure that it would be a false statement. Is it bad that part of my motivation to lose weight is so that I can look as good as (preferably better than) somebody else? I've also seen pictures of me from back then, and at the time I thought I was fat, but now I see that I looked fine! I'd be happy to be 130 again, even if my butt and thighs are a little big, and my hips are a little wide - those things helped me to easily carry two children and I've come to be proud of them! I just want to be at a healthy, non-flabby weight, now.
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THESPYGLASS
1/31/07 3:58 P
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MISSAM05 - "It pains me to buy smaller pants b/c of the fear I might have to go smaller than that. Geez louise!"
Yes! Someone else who thinks that too! Same here, I never know what to buy or when or how much and I get into a right pickle.
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THESPYGLASS
1/31/07 3:52 P
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Has anyone read 'Fat is a Feminist Issue'? One of the ideas that book has is that a lot of the time people are scared by the thought of losing weight because the weight itself has been like a protection or an excuse. "I'm fat, nobody wants me" also has the 'rewarding' psychological side effect of "I don't have to worry about sex or relationships as long as I'm fat"! Or another example would be not having to take risks or be adventurous or 'fail' at something, because "I'm fat, I can't do it anyway".
There are loads of apparent psychological rewards to being overweight so it makes sense that the losing of that weight would be scary.
I know that I've been using my weight partly as a protection, not wanting to get into a relationship until I'm comfortable with my body, but of course once I do get comfortable, I have to take a risk and start a relationship! Hence the fear.
I also have the nerves about sagging, my breasts in particular. I'm a GG cup and the skin is very stretched and stretch-marky so I'm worried they'll look a bit pathetic if too much weight comes off them. Although I won't miss the back pain!
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AMYKRISTINA
1/31/07 3:51 P
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I agree with one person's comment. I am not scared to lose weight, but am so excited about getting back to my old weight, that I am overwhelmed and well yes scared abotu not acheiving it. I want to do it, I really do. I have been out of the gym for 4 years now and used to go atleast 5 times a week. I love the adrenalin, but hate the negative subconscious that says to me, i don't want to go! So I have to turn it around like with FLYlady(Finally Loving Yourself) and make it a positive comment.
Have faith and you can do it.. I hope to be here for a long time.
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| The main thing that scares me is how my body will really look afterwards....will my skin snap back....how badly will the sagging be....I'm in my 40's so I have no idea how elastic my skin will be and it scares me that I might end up having excess skin that will make me look worse then if I just stayed at this weight.....I'm hoping it wont be tooo bad and that it will be something I can live with....
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ITSMYLIFE
1/31/07 11:26 A
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| Yeah. I haven't told many people about my lifestyle change because I am afraid of failing and everybody knowing about it. My family and husband knows but I haven't told my friends or co-workers. So far they have not noticed my changed eating/drinking habits. Eventually if they do I will probably say something about it then.
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HAPPYCAROL
1/31/07 10:35 A
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Cindyc
People can be so unfeeling sometimes. Too quick too judge. I get that all of the time. It is hard to ignore all of the time.
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| Wow I'm amazed! Other people feel like me! I have a fear of the unknown. I've always been heavy. I don't know what it's like to be thinner. I also fear since I've never been thinner I can't really loose weight. I've never really eaten differently then my friends. I admit I've eaten a whole row of Oreos, but I think every girl has, if you know what i mean. So, yes there is fear there, but I started the hypoglycemic diet (much like south beach) and I've lost 25lbs so far, so that proves I can loose. I tend to sabotage when I start loosing too. I think it has to do with the fear, and I think I also fear the attention from men others have mentioned here. I'm use to not getting it, and I may have to deal with it, and I'm not comfortable with it. I hope you can understand this because I feel like I'm all over the place here. haha. It feels good to share with people that may understand. I know I have to program myself to believe it's ok to loose weight, and I'm trying. I fear the sabotager in me, but so far it hasn't raised it's ugly head! I also don't like to say loose weight, because I don't want to find it again. I've been saying release instead. The other day I also wrote a goodbye forever letter to the 25lbs I've released! I know it sounds weird, but I think it will help me. I don't want it coming back!! It's great because I believe with the support I get here it's really going to happen for me this time. I feel good things a happening for all of us!!!
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| It doesn't scare me to loose weight. What scares me is people reaction and then mine. Ten years ago I lost 100 pounds and all I heard was I was anorexic and need to put weight back on, so guess what here I am needing to lose it all over again. I just want to loose weight so I feel better and have more energy. I have to learn that if I feel good its ok and not listen to others who are used to me being fat.
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| it doesn't scare me ... the challenge of it first overwhelmed me .. because i didn't know if i could stick to it. my actually dropping those pounds makes me happy and my husband can't beleive i have been doing this faithfully since dec 6th. it felt good to put on a skirt today that had been sitting in my closet for 4 years .... it was either to tight when i wanted to wear it or when it fitted i had nothing to go with it .. well today it all came together ...the overwhelming is gone .. i .. we can do this.
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SELERGRACE
1/30/07 7:45 P
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I am also afraid of lose skin and reactions. Not just the reactions of friends and family, but my own reaction to the reflection in the mirror. My mom's best friend lost over 100 lbs...slowly but surely, but I only see her about once or twice a year. When I would see her, in my eyes, she looked ill. It was hard for me to look at her for a while. When in reality she looked great! Healthier than ever. But to me she looked too thin. I'm just afraid of having that same reaction to my own self. 
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I agree, I am not as bothered as I have been in the past. I am feeling healthier and loving it!! Thanks Spark!!!!
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HAPPYCAROL
1/22/07 2:41 P
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| It bothers me a bit but not like it did at the first of spark.
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DRAGON_LADY
1/22/07 5:17 A
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Yes, losing weight and being viewed like a 'piece of meat' does scare me, but I want to be here for my family for a long time. I have also gotten a lot stronger within myself since my marriage ended about 8 years ago, so figure I am more than capable of dealing with unwanted attention (nicely to start with and then if they don't get the message very strongly and bluntly).  
Also I am a member of a dating site here in New Zealand, and am quite disgusted at the number of guys who state they want slim well presented women (often looking for someone quite a lot younger than them) who aren't prepared to put a picture of themselves on so they can be judged by the women looking for someone.
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BOBBYSGIRL45
1/21/07 11:22 P
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I started losing weight a couple of years ago by exercising and eating right. I was down 15 lbs and freaked out at my flabby butt! I was terrified I would be a bag of skin! I found myself eating my way back up. I have recently thought what would I look like with a turkey neck? My kids have made comments that they wouldn't know what I would look like.
I stress eat for comfort. I read somewhere that the body actually releases stress after gaining weight. The stress does go down. So I have to find a different way to release stress haha!
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That's a great way to put it...Weight can be used as a shield from unwanted attention! But I hate the weight more than the attention ultimately, so why did I eat my way here? Well, I'm changing, slowly but surely!
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I know, you would think that I would be super psyched to lose the weight... I admit I love being able to wear the clothes that I want to but... I hate the unwanted attention. I remember when I was walking with my bf (!!!) and a HUGE guy was making all of these comments about my body, how uncomfortable and the worst part is that my bf was totally oblivious to it!!!
Or the times when strange guys would ask me if I wanted a ride somewhere (no, I did not dress like a hooker) and one guy actually said 'oh come on I'm not going to kill you or anything' seriously!
Sorry for the vent, but I'm glad that I came across this thread... I think I like a lot of people I keep the weight on to shield myself from stuff like this.
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HAPPYCAROL
1/19/07 2:41 P
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| I never thought of that but yeah that would be scary.
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| Only when the weight loss is unhealthy (more than 2 lbs. a week).
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HAPPYCAROL
1/19/07 9:45 A
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| I looked at some of my fat pictures. Can I keep the weight off even through the stressful times. Old habits die hard and making new ones is maybe even harder. Practice makes perfect. Sticking with spark.
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Not a bit corny. Sometimes after I polish of a whole ___________ (fill in the blank!), I realize that I didn't even taste it after the first few bites. Really slowing down and enjoying and appreciating your food sounds wonderful.
Rebecca
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HAPPYCAROL
1/18/07 10:19 A
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| I agree with you 100%. It is not corny at all. We should all spend more time eating food.
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| REBGRY, I just thought I really liked food too! I mean I do love certain foods of course but I need to learn to eat in moderation! A little is okay! If I close my eyes while I eat something really good (sounds corny, I know!) I can really enjoy it and not just wolf alot down and feel miserable later! Anyway, let's keep up the good work!
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HAPPYCAROL
1/17/07 11:20 A
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| Good luck on your new job. Welcome to spark. There are so many things that one can learn from spark. Spark is great.
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BELLADAWND
1/17/07 11:02 A
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YES It is so cool to see that I am not the only one that it scares. So many times I start something then people start noticing and then I feel the oreo's calling. What is that about? The only thing that is different this time is I am starting a new job on Monday and I will be able to remake myself inside and out. Really stoked this time.
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HAPPYCAROL
1/17/07 10:56 A
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| Spark has helped with the confidence that I have now.
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| I think the only fear I have is having to buy a WHOLE NEW WARDROBE. Eating healthy and staying healthy is already expensive enough. I can't afford ALL new clothes at ONE time. It pains me to buy smaller pants b/c of the fear I might have to go smaller than that. Geez louise!
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CRAZYMOM - I think for me it has always been about deep psychological stuff, I just never admitted it! I always said that I just really liked food. Well, I know plenty of people who really like food who don't weigh as much as me!! In the last few months I finally admitted to myself that there were things in my life that I was unhappy with and that the only one who could change them is me. So I'm trying to take more time for myself (I'm a crazy mom, too) and take control of my health. Has anyone read the new book by Bob Greene (he works with Oprah)? I'm trying to follow his program and he talks about how you have to figure out the emotional stuff if you want to be successful.
Have a great day!
Rebecca
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That's it REBGRY! I have done the same thing!! When people would tell me how great I looked, especially men, I would find myself wanting to eat!! Drove me nuts and seeing that I ate my way back 37 lbs. heavier drives me nuts too. Wow, deep pschological stuff here! Deep down I must be uncomfortable by the attention from men and I know where that stems from and I have never admitted this before. Whewww! Feels better! thanks everyone! I can and will do this and I deserve to be thin and healthy!!!!!!! 
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BUFFEDSTUFF
1/17/07 1:24 A
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| Having health problems scared me more so the weight had to go. You get use to it other people might not but you do get use to it.
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