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JAVAGIRL55
10/31/06 10:08 A
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I totally agree with you about the communicating. That is what I have said to my husband, we may be arguing, but atleast we're still communicating!
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This may sound strange but even when my teenagers is yelling at me or agruing about something, I know at least there is some sort of communication going on. Not that it is the most healthy BUT it is better than none at all. The thing that scares me the most is when they block me out and I cant find a way in.
Hang in there girls.. one of these days they will learn to appreciate you and love you for being there and not giving up on them.
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| Is thatnot the scariest part of parenting . None of us really know what the future has to bring . We just have to try our hardiest and hope for the best and pray that something we said thru years sinks in .
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JAVAGIRL55
10/25/06 10:09 A
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I keep hoping that one of these days all of my hard work of trying to teach them respect and what not will pay off! Only time will tell!
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| I have three kids and our hardest to deal with was always our oldest who is now 22, and, yes, a boy. I agree with the fact that kids have a lack of respect for adults these days, especially the teens. It's nothing like when we were growing up. It's really important to be firm, consistant and follow through. You may not think they are listening or hearing you but they do and for me it has paid off. Now that the oldest is 22 he definately has more respect and he shows it. My 20 year old son has been the easiest and I have never had a problem with him as far as respect. Now, my daughter who is 14, well, I guess time will tell, but so far so good.
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JAVAGIRL55
10/24/06 2:24 P
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I have to share..... I don't usually watch the TV show "wife swap" although I have threatened my family to enter and they can see how good they really have it! lol But I was folding laundry last night and started watching and I was appauled at how this one family had NO rules. They let their children swear and treat adults with NO respect. It made me realize that my family is not nearly as bad as some others out there! lol
Have a great day!
Le
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| I could have written any of these responses .. I am a mom of 4 .. 2 teenagers at the present but its my oldest son that causes the most chaos in the house. I feel I spend most of my time trying to get him to follow the rules and to listen that I neglect my other children . I have no idea what to do ?
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COOLCRAFTS101
10/19/06 10:38 P
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will he be on his own when he turns 18 or will he still want to live there. It is hard to know what to do.
Michelle
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Michelle thanks for sharing. Le I'm glad you shared too.
My biggest thing is with the attitude of "I don't need to listen to you, I'm 17". Boy things change overnight---just a few months ago he needed us! And splitting the time between two houses is tough for my stepson because both houses have different values and expectations. So the more and more I think about it, I will cut him some slack if only to keep peace in the house. I figure in 6 months he'll be 18 and on his own. He hasn't had to be accountable for anything he did in the past, why start now. I guess he'll be in for a big surprise when he's on his own.
Hugs to you wonderful ladies!
Joan
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JAVAGIRL55
10/18/06 10:22 A
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Michelle,
You are NOT alone! I struggle daily with these issues.
Le
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COOLCRAFTS101
10/17/06 10:35 P
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Wow this all sounds like music to my ears, not good music, mind you. It seems we are talking about more boys here and the first born.
I have a 17yr old and he listens to me talk and never hears a word. I think the I will need to lead him by the hand if he is ever going to get somewhere. Only he sure know how to get there if it's something he wants to do.
I know one BIG thing that I do wrong is not follow through with the punishment when he does not listen. Sometimes it is worth it to forget it so I don't have to listen to it. Totally Wrong. Dr. Phil would say DAaaaaaaaa! I think we as mothers get very tired. But I know I am not helping him in the least. I am divorced, raising 3 children and working 2 jobs to make ends meat.
Maybe we can all help each other. I know it is easier to tell someone else what I think then to listen to my own voice. LOL :) Kind of like our kids.
Michelle
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JAVAGIRL55
10/17/06 11:32 A
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| you are very welcome and NO you're not alone! anytime you want to chat, just send me a spark message! I know I go thru stages of how much can I really put up with?
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| Thanks for sharing...I felt like I was the only one and way off base in what I was thinking. I can only hope it gets better. Good luck and thanks again!
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JAVAGIRL55
10/17/06 11:17 A
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OHHHH Darling..... I hear you!!! I go thru the same thing. Oldest is my stepson, but we have custody, mom never sees him, has no desire to.
My DH feels that my youngest has no respect for adults either and I don't see it that way. If oldest gets in trouble he gets "yelled at" and its done and if the youngest gets in to trouble, he gets grounded or things taken away.....
It's been a huge struggle for us over the last 10years!
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| Well the biggest struggle seems to be with respecting adults and abiding by our rules we set. At 17 my stepson has total disregard for both which I find the most upsetting. And for the most part talking doesn't help and my husband refuses to have any kind of consequences when expectations aren't met. It's more of a three way struggle...stepson, husband and me!
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JAVAGIRL55
10/17/06 10:37 A
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Define "power struggles" I have two teens and soon to be a third. My issues are with the oldest, 16, and his mind set of...what he thinks life will be like at 18! ugggg
Le
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How do you deal with teenagers and their power struggles? Looking for some ideas.
Thanks!
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