I have a little boy who just turned 6 in June and I didn't put him in K last year because he just wasn't ready. He has sisters who are 14 & 17 and so is the baby in many ways. Other ways he's grown up and wants to do what they do. He could have made it socially, as he loves all other kids, just not ready developmentally. He loved to circle any picture or draw a line to something that matches ect...but when it came to writing letters or numbers he said no way! No interest in writing...just hands on activities ect..Now, he has started K, and I am so glad I held him back. He's doing wonderfully and loves it. Maybe a bit more mature than most in there but developmentally right on track! I'm so proud of how well he's doing and he can't wait to work on homework after school. It's amazing how many other 6 yr olds are in k too. Good for you !!! Make learning fun and children will love learning!
BULLDOGMOM 9/7/06 12:54 A
Thank you so much for your advice. I didn't want school to be a punishment either. Today, she wrote me a note at school that said - I love this school! I was really happy to hear that! My DH still has some concerns - his concerns center around what other people think about this. Really, it is no ones business, but you know how some people can be! My girl was mad at him because he told someone that she was not in kindergarten and still in preschool. She told him right out that it is NOT preschool, but rather 5K!! So we are calling it 5k now for this year and we will say kindergarten for next year!! She told me later that she thinks dad doesn't know anything because he never went to 5K, just kindergarten!! LOL!!
TINA10000 9/6/06 10:20 P
I am actually a kindergarten teacher and I think you made the right decision. I have had kids in my classes that just weren't ready. If their parents had made the decision you did, their lives would have been so much less stressful. In our district kindergarten is becoming more and more academic. And I feel so bad for the younger 5's who come in. If you can believe it, some parents try to sneak their 4 year olds in. But just like your preschool teacher said, it isn't the academic part, it is the social and emotional part. I wish you could just ignore people who ask you about your daughter and school, but of course the nosey people just don't go away that easily! I think Mom2boys had a great answer about deciding to wait since she was so close to the cutoff! My hubby and I have this decision waiting for us next year and then 3 years after that, as both of our girls are August babies!
MOM2BOYS 9/6/06 10:07 P
Good to hear she had a good first day. I'd just tell the nosey people that she was a very young 5 and it's pretty common for those right around the cut off date to wait until the next year.
LIMERICKSLADY 9/6/06 7:18 A
I am so glad to hear that the first day of school went well. I am sure this will be a huge stepping stone for her future and you will be rewarded for this decision over and over. It is so important for them to really enjoy school. I never want to school to feel like a punishment for my kids. My second youngest starts all day Kindergarten today. She has been asking me since 6:30am when is the bus coming, every 5 minutes. She is so excited about going to school. Actually, all my kids were up by 6:30 this morning cause they can't wait to go to school (and frankly neither can I :-). I had toyed with the idea of sending my 3.5 yo to pre-k this year because she so desperately wants to go, but then my Mom (the voice of reason for me) said for me to let her be a baby for just one more year. She said I should not be in such a hurry for her to grow up. So we will have this year just the two of us, while the other 4 are at school and she can go to pre-K next year. Only one more hour till the bus comes, hehehe.
BULLDOGMOM 9/6/06 1:01 A
Limerickslady -- Thank you so much for your thoughts on this. As you can tell, my DH and I struggled with this decision for a year now. Today was the first day of school and I am glad that I did hold her back. She was so happy to be there and there are only 10 kids in the class - 5 boys and 5 girls - nice mix. she came out and told me that she loved school and was so happy to be there...my heart/gut told me something right there. On another note, there was a kid there that was crying his eyes out and hanging onto his mom's purse and his mom said that her husband actually wanted to send him to full time kindergarten this year!! To toughen him up!! This child was so scared to leave his mom for one hour!! (shortened first day) - imagine how abandoned he would have felt if it had been a full day!! family issue, I assume. But, yes, I felt good after leaving her there today and she is looking forward to tomorrow!! She never had a separation problem, though. I can only hope that since she is the oldest one in the class that her role as a leader will come out. She is not bossy, just seems like whatever she does, all the other kids want to do. I think there is a sense of confidence there. I hope that this is a good stepping stone into her future.
LIMERICKSLADY 9/5/06 8:54 A
This same suggestion was made for both my neice and my nephew (different families). Neither of their moms decided to listen to the teacher and I can tell you that they both have struggled ever since. They are both early teens now and have never had an easy time at school. With our middle child we actually told the K teacher that we were thinking of holding him back and she recommended against it. He finally accademically engaged after Christmas. I would tell people that your daughter is so used to being with adults that she is needing a little extra time to adjust to people her own age. And that rather than having her feel isolated throughout school you are holding her back to give her an opportunity to find her niche. You will be surprised how many people will tell you that they wished they had done this for their child. Good luck, and I think you are such a good mom for doing the right thing for you daughter.
BULLDOGMOM 9/5/06 1:31 A
I have a daughter that turned 5 in early July. Her preschool suggested that I "hold her back" one year from kindergarten for social reasons. there is no problem with behavior, just because she felt she needed another year to build her social skills and to work with other children in a group setting. She is very smart and knows all letters, can write and read with some help also. The teacher said that this type of thing usually happens with boys, but there is not a learning problem, just needs time to work alongside with/play in a group with other kids her own age. She is great with adults, though. Are there any other members who have been in this situation? what did you do? I have decided to trust this teacher (our pediatrician also knows this teacher and totally trusts her judgement) and also to go with my gut and keep her in the 5k program (it's not kindergarten, though) - she will attend kindergarten next year -- when she is 6 yo. Also, how do i explain this to nosy people when they ask me about it!!??? Thanks for letting me ask this! I hope someone out there can put my mind at ease on this situation! Thank you in advance!!
