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SP_COACH_TANYA
8/29/06 9:45 A
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GIGIBEE
I can certainly appreciate that the there is alternative advice offered on Babycenter and am glad that you find support and suggestions from there helpful. I'm not sure I would support that they are "real" experts compared to what our parenting experts have to offer.
We see these types of issues discussed on our sister site Babyfit.com quite a bit. While some toddlers throw temper tantrums and hit, throw toys or bang their heads out of communication frustration, that would really not be the norm as many children this age have the basic verbal skills to communicate their needs/wants and frustrations. I would venture to say that more toddlers are having these fits out of frustration that they aren't getting their way and are seeking to draw attention to what they want. If the head banging and tantrum keeps mom engaged then it has a chance of helping them get what they want. It really is normal behavior for a toddler to try and get what they want and then to be upset when they don't get it.
To the original poster - this comes from Dr Greene.com (for a female child with the same issue) - Most children will outgrow the habit on their own. You can speed up this process by reacting to it in a matter-of-fact way. Pretend not to notice. And if it is part of a tantrum, do not give her whatever she threw the tantrum to get. When you notice her head banging, you might be able to get her to stop for the moment by distracting her or engaging her in a different activity. By decreasing the amount of time she spends in this habitual activity, she will outgrow it more quickly.
HTH - you can find other parents dealing with similar issues over on the BabyFit community boards.
Tanya
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I'm surprised to hear a "resident expert" suggest to leave a child alone while throwing a tantrum
My little girl will also bang her head when she is frustrated. I find it best to diffuse the situation with a distraction or just be there to reassure her it is normal to be frustrated and it's okay. I would never walk out of the room and just hope she doesn't hurt herself.
At that age, the tantrum is about frustration and not being able to communicate. It is not about getting attention.
I suggest being the loving mom you are and try to be soothing and calming. At the very least, stay near and make sure he isn't hitting his head too hard.
Some real experts on babycenter.com always suggest to be reassuring at times like this because your child is already overwhelmed and trusts you with his/her feelings.
Babycenter.com is a very helpful site with expert (pediatrician and child psychologists) panels if you want to check it out.
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I agree, the best thing to do is to ignore it completely. Simply walk away and leave the room (so that he can see that you are out of sight). My nephew was somewhat of an attention grabber when he was younger as well. Negative reactions are still reactions to a child...so, if you aren't around to say anything, it will be a much shorter performance.
Hang in there!
Kelly
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| You could try just ignoring him. There's no fun in throwing a tantrum if you don't have an audience.
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MOMMIE2DENNIS
8/27/06 9:46 P
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| I have a 2 and half year old boy who recently started head banging while having a temper tantrum. he will lay on his stomach and band his head into the floor, when i try to pick him up he is throwing himself around and then head banging myself, this is becoming very frustrating please help me!
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