Anahammons, I agree with lots of the suggestions you have been given. My dd was the same way we went on vacation and came back and she wasn't interested. It messed up her rountine. My suggestion would be take your time. Don't rush them especially taking away the pacifier at a time where he needs it. My husband and I agreed that it was her security blanket. She is almost three and we didn't start until 2 1/2 to potty train. After a couple of months it was her decision to throw her wa-wa away. So from then on she hasn't wanted them. It has to be their decision to want to be ready. My dr says it was ok for her to have her pacifier until 3 but I didn't want a three year walking around with a pacifier but I didn't want to rush/push her either. As a mother of two I have had to have lots of patience with her. She has had setbacks and I always carry a extra set of clothes. When we first started I made her a victory/prize jar filled with stickers small candies, and prizes. It was her potty jar. So when she went potty we did the potty dance. I would clap and hoot and hollar to show her it was a good thing. Still do that. Then she would get to pick one prize. It made her feel like a big girl. Don't get me wrong hasn't been peaches and cream but its awesome seeing her accomplish something. It will happen just give him time. Hang in there. I know its hard sometimes and frustrating but your not alone.
My sis n law saw something off the nanny show where they gather up all the binkies and put them in a bag and then they take them outside put them there. After he goes to bed go throw them away. In the morning take him out there and let him find a prize toy or something and tell them the binky fairy came and took them for all the other children who need binkies. It worked for her. My neice hasn't had one since. I think the rest of the story is you tell them that there are babies in need of binkies and we need to share them I think.
Hope this helps! Jennifer
TBARTON 6/19/06 12:46 P
As a mom of four kids, my advice would be to just relax, *especially* if you have a new baby in the house. Why does the pacifier bother you so much? It okay to impose some limits like just in bed or just at home or just in the car. If your child has a new sibling there have been a lot of changes in his his life lately, not the least of which is less one-on-one time with mom. Sure the pacifier is a habit but it's his way of comforting himself. Why take that away? Especially if you have a newborn to focus on. What's wrong with starting with some gradual limits? Only in bed? Take it away after he falls asleep? Wait for nature to take it's course and the pacifier to eventually get lost on it's own?
As far as potty training, that was always a battle I wasn't willing to fight. I totally let my kids take the lead on that and all learned while they were 3 or before. I left it up to them and when they were ready, they did it. Few accidents, no changing sheets in the night-time. No sitting in the bathroom with them for hours. Easy and stress-free.
I know your 2 yo seems so big right now compared to your newborn but 2 yo is still a baby. :-) Trust me. My oldest just turned 16 last month. ::sigh:: It's going to happen. Barring physical, health-related issues, he's not going to be going off to kindergarden in a diaper and he won't want to be taking a pacifier either. :-)
Teresa
JDRIVER 6/19/06 1:05 A
well i'm glad to hear that the baby is ok. that would be scary. as far as potty training your son, one thing that worked for my oldest when he was being trained was i would turn him backwards on the big potty and put fruit loops in the toilet and tell him to aim for it. he got a kick out of it. My 2 yr old dd is being potty trained right now and still wears diapers at night but otherwise it is panties all day, except when we leave the house, then it's pull-ups.
i ain't much help as far as binkies because my 3 youngest all have binki's. i am trying to wean my 2 yr old but she takes the other 2 little one's. she only gets it at naptime and bedtime.
good luck and i'm glad that the baby is ok.
jessica
CRUZANDFAMILY 6/16/06 1:47 P
Hello everyone.
I agree that for the most part don't push the potty. They won't get married wearing diapers. :) Take their lead. Just try not to use food as a reward or punishment.
The binky: A couple things worked or me. I have three kids that used them.
1.I cut a small hole in the rubber. It deflates the pacifier..and they can't get good suction. It's not as comfortable to suck on it!
2.I told my son that the neighbor was having a baby, and that we needed to give the binkys to the baby. He put then in a box, and wrapped them up. We walked over to the neighbors and gave the binkys to her. That night he asked for it, and I told him "Remember, we gave them to Baby Layla?" He wanted to go get them back, but I told him the baby would cry. He said "ok", and looked a little sad, but that was it.
SUZANNEJOZEF 6/13/06 1:30 P
So glad to hear everything turned out ok, I know that was a huge relief for you.
Suzanne
LESLIELG 6/12/06 1:39 P
As a mom of three, my experience so far has been that they will use the potty when they are ready.
We tried and tried with my oldest. He told us that the would use the toilet when he turned four. On his birthday, I put him in underwear and from that point onward he used the potty. There were a couple of accidents (just a couple), and that was it.
My older daughter who will be three in September, announced a couple of months ago that she wanted to wear Dora underwear. We bought her some and put her in them on Saturday morning. We had no accidents all weekend (we put diapers on at naptime), so we put her in undies on Monday for daycare. We've had a few accidents, but basically she did this all herself (just like the first kid, only quite a bit younger).
I'm expecting that my third child, who is only 11 months old, will tell us when she's ready and that's fine.
I don't have any experience with getting kids to give up a pacifier; I wanted my kids to use them to save the wear & tear on my nipples, but none of them would accept a hard plastic knob when a soft warm boob was available!!!
KELLY_SP 6/12/06 8:52 A
So happy to hear everything is ok with your youngest!!
Hang in there and keep us posted
ANHAMMONS 6/8/06 11:02 A
Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you know that my son had his doctor's appointment yesterday. The lumps on his head aren't anything serious. He has eczema. The lymph nodes on the right side of his head don't seem to be functioning yet, so that's why the ones on the left side are slightly swollen - they are reacting to the eczema and cradle cap on his head. They gave us some ointment to use when he has flare ups; other than that, we just need to keep his skin moisturized and watch what kind of soap/laundry soap we use for him (which we already do, so we don't have to worry about that). Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I'm also very glad to hear that my son isn't the only child to use hair as a safety blanket! :) He hates it when I try to pull it back, so it's kind of frustrating sometimes, but I'm sure I'll miss it when he doesn't need it anymore. Have a great day!
SUZANNEJOZEF 6/7/06 2:55 P
I sure hope everything turns out ok with the baby, I will be praying for you.
As far as the hair....Yup, son at almost 9 still likes to play with it, only now he wants to comb it and "style" it. I'd say if you want to cut it, go ahead but save it into a pony tail that way he can lay with it in bed next to him.
Good luck
Suzanne
YOUANDME 6/7/06 12:30 A
My daughter is now 5. She never liked the binkie. For her it was the bottle and we go rid of it by only giving her water in the bottle if she wanted juice or milk I would only give it to her in a cup. And for bed I gave her the sippy cup of water only. When we moved to rugular cups during the day we got rid of the sippy at night also though even now she gets a cup of water on her dresser in case she gets thristy at night. Potty training was a little bit harder. I am the step mom and when she would go to her moms house they would take the under wear off and put her in diapers because they didn't want to deal with the hassle of Potty-Training. But we started at around 2 or 2 1/2 and got a calender for her and put it at her level and she got 1 little sticker for pee and a big sticker for poop. We found that letting her pick out her choice of panties and stickers helped. she was completely potty trained nights and all by 3.
DTGRANDY 6/6/06 9:21 P
In training I took for childcare, they say that children usually aren't ready to be potty trained until they are around 3. I found this odd since my youngest was potty trained before 2 and my older ones were trained by 2 1/2. And soooo many people tell you their kids were potty trained as early as 1. The reasoning behind it is because they cannot control their bladders yet. I thought it was interesting and now I believe it after watching 2 year olds all the time. So, hopefully that helps and you don't feel like you are doing something wrong. It will happen. Just focus on that baby. I can only imagine your worry.
As far as the binky, ooohhhh we had a binky baby-toddler. I'm talking, she'd walk around with 2 hanging out of her mouth. When she was born, she immediately wanted something to suck on. We did bad by giving her a sippy cup at night to replace the binky. She was hooked bad. Eventually she gave up the cup (by the age of 3). She just turned 4. I always defended the binky because it is a security issue for some toddlers. She didn't have a blankie, she had her binky. It also comforts them when they are teething. So I had no problem, my husband was going nuts. He kept saying he was just gonna throw them out. I told him I'd go buy more. It was a battle.
The cup worked, my only regret is we should have only put water in it at night. Why? Three weeks ago I paid $350 for her 2 front teeth to be filled. She got decay between her 2 front teeth because she'd brush her teeth before bed, but if she drank anything besides water, it sat in between her 2 teeth. They filled them because she just turned 4 and he didn't want her sitting with decay for however long it took for those 2 teeth to fall out.
So just take it day by day. It will happen. Take care of the baby and keep us posted. I hope all is well.
Dawn
ROBERTA2826 6/6/06 4:10 P
I've had some health problems and haven't logged on much nor tracked what I've eaten. But I saw this question about the hair and HAD to answer it. My son was HUGE on playing with my hair! He had to play with it to go to sleep, when he was stressed, when he ate, when he didn't eat....ooooh, all the time! lol He is 13 yrs old now and still comes up to every now and again and tries to play with my hair. It's quite hysterical. I look back and remember thinking how annoying it was then but now it's a fond memory of my son loving his mom.
GYMADDICT 6/6/06 3:21 P
When my daughter was 18 months I bought a potty chair. She played with occasionally but didn't show any interest in going potty. When she was 2 I tried several times to get her to use the potty, she just wasnt ready. In March she was 33 months, she finally wanted to use the potty. I stayed home with her for 3 days, no diapers or pull up except at bedtime. She had a few accidents but she finally got the idea that she was going to have to go to the potty or she would have a big mess. I also used the reward system. If she went pee she got to pick out a prize from our prize bucket. The prizes were toys, gum, or suckers. I tried to limit the sweet stuff and went with more toys. She also got stickers for each potty. We put them on a piece of paper and made a big deal out of it each time she earned one.
During the same time we were potty training we were watching "Supernanny" there was the episode where the child was giving up her binky and the binky fairy came and left her a prize. My daughter asked if she could do that. So we gathered up all her binkies and left them outside for the fairy. She asked for her binky for 2 nights, but after reminding her that she left them for the binky fairy she remembered and was okay with it. The fairy left her a barbie doll, so it was her reward for giving that up.
My daughter is a big blankie girl. She will not go to bed without it. But that is not a really big deal in our house.
Michele
LUJAINSMOM 6/6/06 12:43 P
My hubby with our oldest daughter just took her binky(s) away. She was three so it wasn't too hard of a transition. I did catch her a couple of years later, she found one that escaped the purge and the first thing she did was stick it in her mouth. That one joined the rest of the disappeared.
My younger daughter is a blanky baby. That is more of a problem since she needs one at night. When I took away her baby one, she "borrowed" a pink fleece blanky from her auntie and it hasn't left her mouth since.
JOTRKMOMMY 6/6/06 10:54 A
Okay I don't know if anyone else made these suggestions (not much time for reading with an active two year old), but here's our story and what worked for us ...
When my daughter turned two, we started really going on with the "big girl" talk. She knows that being a big girl is a cool thing, so she tries really hard. With the potty, she was in pullups ... no more "baby diapers", and she was proud. I didn't like the way the m&m's clung to her teeth, so I did two gummy bears for pee and five for poop. She loves that! I was afraid that I would be rewarding her until she was forty, but for the most part, she doesn't ask for the candy anymore ... she's too busy. Now she is in panties most of the time. Something else that helped us was letting her do it alone. She goes to the potty by herself and only needs me when she's finished, for wiping, and she's learning that now too. Go crazy with emphasizing "big Kid" as opposed to "baby". It works, I swear.
And with the paci ... I had Joey for several months where she was only allowed to have it when she was sleeping. She could have it at night and at naptime, and that made it easier for us to phase it out. Then it "broke" (I cut off the end) and I told her that we didn't have the money for a new one. She went to sleep and she had a little trouble, but I reminded her every morning that she'd gone to sleep like a big girl. I reminded her every night that she'd done it the previous night, and she would quiet right down. Good luck!
KELLY_SP 6/6/06 10:39 A
I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this and the unknown. I will keep your infant and your family in my prayers that everything is ok. Please keep us posted!
As far as the hair thing, yes, my niece did this until she was about 3 years old with her mom every nap and bedtime ritual. It was as if Terri's hair was Lauren's safety blanket. Lauren is 10 now and we joke about it from time to time! Enjoy these moments while you can...they grow up way to fast.
Be well, Kelly
ANHAMMONS 6/6/06 12:48 A
Hi everyone! Well, we've kind of backed off on potty training - not because he wasn't doing well (he was sort of back and forth with it), but we've been really worried about our 3½ month old. Last month we found a small lump on the back of his head. The doctor said that it's probably just a slightly swollen lymph node. Well, within the past week we've found 4 more. Since he has so many, the doctor wants to see him later this week so they can check it out. We've been told that lymph nodes usually swell because of an infection, but he's been fine - until today. I finally got him to sleep about 15 minutes ago. We're really hoping they can tell us what's wrong with him this week. So that's why we've put potty training on hold for right now. He's still doing pretty good about not wanting his binky during the day, but he's started sucking his fingers...I guess that's better than a binky! :) Another question for everyone: Has your child ever needed your hair as a comfort item? Just wondering if this was common - my 2 year old also needs my hair to fall asleep (or calm down when he's upset). He usually just runs his hands through it, but sometimes he wants to lay his face on it. This didn't really start until he was about 1 year old. I really want to get my hair cut, but I'm afraid to get it cut too short. Sorry this is so long, I'm just rambling - I do that when I worry. :)
SUZANNEJOZEF 6/5/06 3:51 P
Wow, this has brought back so many memories. My son will be 9 on the 9th!! But it seems like only yesterday that he was using his binky and potty training.... I'm sure this will be long but here is my experience.
My son LOVED his binky....I also actually kept him on a night bottle until he was 2 1/2 because once he went to the cup he refused to drink milk unless it was in the bottle. He still does not drink milk!!! But that is another story...
When he was at daycare or staying the weekend at AUnties he never used his binky but as soon as mom showed up the binky went into his mouth and yes this was at about 2 1/2....Well there was a week he spent at Aunties and I forgot to pack the binky, she said he never once asked for it so before picking him up I went through the house and got rid of all the binkies. When mom gets to Aunties house he goes sraight to the diaper bag and looks for the binky didn't find it then goes to my purse, then my coat saying bink, bink...Told him no more binky he is a big boy now....He looked through each several times before realizing no binky.....I wondered how he would do at home but once there he was fine. As he only used it then to sleep with. I also decided at this time to cut out the last bottle so as not to confuse him on why he could have a bottle but not a binky....
As far a potty training Jozef was 1 1/2 months shy of turning 3. I had tried at age 2 but didn't like how the sitter was handling it and put a stop to it. OVer easter weeken(took a week vacation) we went out and I let him pick out several packages of underpants. Meanwhile telling him they were big boy pants and you can't pee pee in big boy underpants. His favorites were telly tubbies with PO on them. It was so cute he would wear them and go around saying No pee pee on Po...
Well, I took the week off, let him just wear his big boy underwear and nothing else, during the day he did great. Put a diaper on him at night and then I would actually wake him up during the night to go pee also, then on the potty first thing in the morning. I stayed at home the whole week not going anywhere so there wouldn't be any accidents.
After that if we had to go somewhere I would have him go potty then put a diaper on him and he would go in the diaper even though he just went. So I finally stopped useing the diapers, just packed lots of underpants and clothes...had him go potty just before getting in the car and even if it was a 5 minute drive had him go potty when we got to where we were going.. So I actually had him potty trained in about a week and I believe it was cuz I waited until he was older.
I also had a pediatrician once tell me that unless they have a dry diaper every night for 3 months they are not ready to potty train. They have to be able to hold it through the night first.
Good luck to all you moms of young children. Just remember when getting all this advice, you know your child best and you need to do what is best for them, not what was best for someone elses child.
My sons also had the "binky" gap but his teeth straightened out fine. I wouldn't however let him try and talk around it, I would make him take it out to talk. (personally that is annoying to ME to see kids talk around a binky)
If they are only using it at bed or home when they are stressed about something, it is no big deal!!! There are actually some pschylogist that will tell you not to rush it, it is a stress reliever/comfort zone for them. Just like some kids have a favorite toy or blanket they carry around. They aren't made to throw them away so why make your child throw away his comfort just because society says so????
Ok off my soap box....
Suzanne
MDULZER 6/5/06 2:16 P
Congrats Vowelmom.
VOWELMOM 6/5/06 10:08 A
I recently did both of these things, with lots of help from sparkladies!
Nuks..I was, in my head, going to take the nuk away from him on his 3rd birthday. I started thinking, Why wait??? One day, I just decided to take it. We had about 3 rough nights, and then he was ok. I do let him have it - only for his nap. I dont mind a nuk nap. It ensures me he will sleep. He was getting the nuk gap in his teeth. His teeth have come down now, and look great. He's very articulate, and has been for a long time.
I recieved lots of potty training help here! I was advised to make up a chart, get some stickers, and reward him with stickers for every potty. IT work wonders! after a bit of a struggle with pooping, I threw candy in there for pooping. He has been accident free for a couple of weeks! Even traveling, and staying overnight other places. Sorry, just had to boast a bit. I know he would not have been ready at two though. NO way. Dont push it, and dont get mad when they DO wet and poop in their underwear. just change them, and remind them to use the potty etc etc. If you get mad, they WILL regress. I know from experience!!! lol
Hope all goes well
MDULZER 6/4/06 10:00 P
I just went to a class taught by Teri Crane who wrote a book on potty training in one day. She will be on Good Morning America on Tuesday June 6th, if anyone wants to watch it. Best wishes.
JENNYBELL68 6/1/06 8:24 P
Potty...I'm surprised at all these kids being potty-trained at around 2 years old. Especially the boys from my experience in the 2 year old class at church. Anyway, I have to confess, my son will be 3 on July 23 and he has not gone on the potty ONCE. I am trying not to pressure him, but my real goal would be to have him potty-trained by mid-August before school starts. I plan on trying the run-around-naked thing after we get through a couple other transitions first.
Binky...he never used a binky, but he sucks his two middle fingers and I have no ideas for how to stop that. I myself sucked a finger until I was around 7, I think.
Two additional transitions are we just went to the big bed, and I have been seriously trying to wean off nursing for a couple months now. He has not wanted to give it up and will pull up my shirt and fight with me about it if I push. So I have been gradually weaning, and it's now only at bedtime for a minute. I told him yesterday that Friday would be our last day and I plan on being out of the house at bedtime on Saturday and Sunday.
I think more than one transition at a time is very hard for little ones and that new baby cannot be helping his desire to "grow up". So I say, just be patient. Two is young to be fully potty-trained. Good luck.
CUDA440 6/1/06 8:35 A
Mine turned 2 at the end of April. He can use the potty and can stay dry for a long time. But we still have to "bribe" or make him try and go. He still has not been able to tell us before he pee's his pants. WELL except for about 1 month he was, but that is over now. I did find that when he was really trying, I bought Training pants and his favorite character (bob the builder) underwear. And that helped too. He didn't like being wet. But that also has changed. He could care less if he is wet. I don't think I could do the naked thing in the house, I already hate trying to clean up the wet pants. I hear we have the hard part down. He has only pooped in his pants about 3 times since Jan. He knows when he needs to do this. It's the peeing we have to get down. I haven't dared let him stand yet, just cause I wasn't sure if he could tell the difference. But maybe he can, and would think this is "cool" we also did the reward thing. For a while it was matchbox cars everytime he went at home. (buy them on sale for $.50, stock up) Then we did it, if he stayed dry all day. and then once we were not doing that, I think that is when he back tracked. NOW he has 2 little bulldozer toys, and I get out 3 M's and put them in the dozer and put them next to the toilet. And then he will get up there, and sit on it long enough to relax and go. If he is fighting it, and crying he can't relax and go.
The Binky "pipe" - We weaned him off a little before his 2 year birthday. He was already down to naps, and in my car only. Then one day he "lost" it and we told him it was gone. I think it came back for only a few days, then we just said enough, and got rid of all of them. Yes he cried in the car for 2 days. but after that he was fine. I think he has only asked for it once since then. In the car I would praise him after he stopped crying telling him that was better, and would then talk to him, about what he saw outside while we were driving.
Beckie
ANHAMMONS 5/31/06 7:37 P
Thanks everyone for the encouragement - and the great ideas. I really appreciate it. I hope everyone else who's potty training or trying to get rid of a binky is having good luck.
SASSYBRAT 5/31/06 3:03 A
i'm wondering if you are trying to get him to use the potty more and the pacifier less...how about telling him he can only have the pacifier when he sits on the potty??
MDULZER 5/30/06 9:04 A
The pacifier story is the cutest I have ever seen. We aren't to potty training yet, but we just transfered to the toddler bed. That was pretty crazy.
KELLY_SP 5/30/06 8:55 A
I can completely relate to this as I just recently broke my daughter of her pacifier habit (she is 3.5 years old). I have a two year old that I am trying to introduce the potty to - she seems interested - and then suddenly not interested at all!! My children are 18 months apart in age and when my second child was born, I did what was easiest to sleep at night. Sydney wanted her pacifier and I let her keep it. She just finished her first year of pre-school and while she never took it to school...she did start to understand that pacifiers were for little babies and not "big girls". So on her last day of school (and we talked about this for months in advance to prep her for it) I let her say goodbye to all of her pacifiers (she had one in every color) and when she was ready, she put them in a box for the "pacifier fairy" (hey, I don't need her thinking I'm the bad guy!!) to come and take them. It was the most adorable thing that I have ever seen and had I known she was going to seriously hug and kiss each one, I would have recorded it. I didn't make a big deal about it - I went along with folding the laundry and pretending I wasn't watching the event. She came to me when she was finished, asked for the lid...and we put them on daddy's workbench in the garage to be out of our sight.
The first night was touch and go, the second night was the worst - and during the days of the first week - it was rough watching her over react to so much and fight non stop with her younger sister. But...at least I knew why she was behaving so badly. I rewarded her with a hershey kiss for every morning that she could sleep through the night and NOT CALL FOR MOMMY! We have been pacifier free for two weeks now and I'm so proud of her. It's hard - and I know what you are going through. I will tell you that the first week was the worst - but it's a non issue for her now. Hang in there! As for the potty - our pediatrician told us that when a child is ready to learn, it should only take a few days to a week to make the transfer and that if it becomes a struggle, take a breather from it and try again a few weeks later. We have been consistant with putting her on the potty in the morning when she wakes up, at night before bed and right before we take a bath. She asked to wear big girl underpants one day and we were thinking - hooray - this is it...she had them on for 5 minutes and had an accident. I didn't react, I just said - no peyton...we use the potty to poopoo in...and cleaned it up. All the while my husband and I were giggling and making a note to put diapers back on the grocery list! Hang in there and keep us posted. Sleeping is key to coping and your son is still so little. Follow your gut and keep smiling. Only you know what will eventually work for your children. They grow up so fast - enjoy them while you can!
