Ziegler, I'm in a similar situation. My husband is a truck driver, and until very recently was gone for a month at a time. He'd be home for 3 or 4 days and leave again etc. Now he has a better job where he is home every couple of days for a day. I am stuck home with the kids (2 mine, 2 his) and resent it most of the time. That leads to guilt, which for me leads to fat. I usually work, but have been layed-off for most of the last 3 years. I work construction which is not happening right now in MI. My husband used to work in construction too but had to change careers so we wouldn't lose everything. But that's a different story. I have 9am- 2:30pm by myself which I spend doing all the work around here. Well, not ALL of that time working, but definitely stuck home. That part of the day flies by! I spend my afternoons the same way you do--homework, dinner, dishes, baths. Not much fun happening. Not much appreciation either. I don't expect them to throw me a parade, just pick up after themselves, get along and do their homework so we can have time to relax together. I'm so stressed out that I'm not anyone's idea of fun. I'm not stressed out until they get home. I don't handle all of their demands very well and resort to yelling half the time. Maybe I need a vacation, or a personality makeover. I know most of the problem is me and how I react to things but seem unable to change very much. Reading this and wishing I could afford therapy!! Anyway, just wondering what happened to my life? Anybody seen it?
HOMEBODY 3/28/06 3:23 P
Sorry - I meant to post this to the Single mom no time thread.
HOMEBODY 3/28/06 3:20 P
You mentioned that your son has some medical issues. If he is physically able, you might be able to find a workout video he could do with you. I have started using tapes my mom makes for me of Fit TV and I have had varying responses to them from my sons. My older son likes being able to use my exercise ball and hand weights so he will follow along if he can do that( he is 7). My 2 year old sometimes looks at me and says "Stop that !" and sometimes he likes the movements, too. Just an idea for getting more exercise and spending time with your child.
VOWELMOM 3/28/06 1:57 P
I have been in a similar boat. We have 3 children. One in 2nd grade, a 3 and 4 year old. My husband needs to work long hours and is gone from 8:30-9, 10 oclock at night. It use to be that he was home 3 times a week. His work was such a commute, and there was so much to do for one person, that he would stay there. We missed him terribly, but made the best of it. Try to take the bull by the horns, and be happy you can stay home. I have been in your place, and it only makes things worse. Every day find things to be thankful for, and write them down. Smile at your children, tell them how great they are. Be ever so glad to see your husband when he gets home. He has been away and working hard, and is also lonely, and worn out, and wants to see his family shining for him, and while he was away. I only know this from experience, and I hope you can hear this advice. It will make things worse if you are down trodden. Not only for your marriage and your children, but more for yourself.
I know its very hard and draining, lonely and lots and lots of work, but try to be positive about it. Do everything with a smile, and things will get better.
Dont forget to exercise. It really helps with the stress. Try to get outside now that its getting warmer. The sunshine and warm weather do wonders for us!
Warmly, Lisa
MISSMYFIGURE 3/28/06 1:25 P
An idea that I have used in the past is putting up a baby gate in the child's room and leaving the child in there to learn to play by himself. He may get upset for a bit but once you work this into a routine he will get used to the idea and actually enjoy playing more in there. This gives you time to get chores done or just sit and read a book.
HOMEBODY 3/28/06 1:20 P
I know it's very draining to stay home and work all the time and look after a little one all day. It's harder in so many ways than if you work outside the home, but I would love to be able to do what you're doing. I am a teacher so I do get summers with my kids, but it breaks my heart that my kids are growing up and spending most of their waking hours with someone else. I also have a 2 year old, and even though he tries my patience a lot, I wish I could stay home and keep him, and my older son wishes he could be homeschooled like his cousin. I have to work - my income pays most of our bills and I don't have a choice. I know this is probably not the advice you were looking for, but just try to appreciate how important you are to your children at this stage in their lives. Be thankful that you don't have to rush them out in the morning, day after day, that you can take care of them when they are sick, and do things for them instead of someone else.
ZIEGLER 3/28/06 12:16 P
My finace has left again for the second time out of state for work. He leaves for days at a time. I hate that. I have 3 kids and Im stressing cause I have to do everything. I feel like cinderella, lol without the mice. Even when my two oldest are at school all day, I have my 2 year old here at home that I take care of. Aside form spending my days cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and doing my 30 min. excercise and my shower, my life has been one big boring chore with no time for myself but the time i spent in the shower or excercising for my 30 min. After school I pick up the kids help them with homework then start cooking dinner and I feed them. Followed by washing dishes and cleaning up the dinning room and kitchen. next thing you know its already 6pm and I have to help the kids get thier stuff ready for school the next day. Next thing I know its late and im just tired and want to lay down. Just stressing and loosing it.
