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PACECHRISTINA
10/28/06 11:56 P
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| hello im so glade im not alone either im a single mom of 3 and live with my brother and his family for right now im tring to get my life back on track
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RACHELLENH
10/28/06 8:08 P
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| Wow, I'm not alone Halleluah! I'm a divorced single mom of 2, one 9 and one 2y/o...he pays nothing either and I have no idea where he is. I work in my own biz so the hours are long, sometimes 7 days a week. But I make ends meet okay. i live with my mom too, it was supposed to be temporary, but wound up...she needed me more than I needed her. This is a great site, I love it.
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PRISCILLA.DODGE
9/27/06 1:33 P
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hello... i am a single mom of an ALMOST 2 year old girl. her b-day is next week! she is 1/2 dominican {dad} and 1/2 white {me}. i am dealing with just about the same issues. her father is in her life when he feels like it. he claims she is his life but i guess his life is over because he only sees her 1x a week. we fight all the time and he is there financially when he feels like it. i have lost my apartment because of him not helping when the main reason for me getting my own place was for US to be together. well, he fooled me! he lies all the time and {obviously} we are no longer together because he is VERY immature and only thinks of himself. he makes sure that HIS checks usually go to HIMSELF. my daughter only gets things when i threaten or she desperately needs things. i am doing this all alone and it is hard to get things done as well. it seems like everytime i try to make time for myself it NEVER happens. i need help also with the same situation.... {time for exercise, mommy and daughter time} while being a full-time worker. my mom is trying to push me back into college but it is all just too overwhelming most of the time. financially i am all messed up and struggle with that as well. i was almost placed into a shelter because i had no place to go. but then my car died and i had to get a new one. MY family helped me out and his family just stuck their noses in the air. my mom purchased me a new car {03 toyota corolla} because they are VERY dependable. of course i have to pay the mnthly payments.. but still.. i am stuck at my parents house but i got a new car out of it.
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| Hi everyone, I would like to introduce myself to this group. I am a single mother of 2 children (different fathers), My son is 10 and I have a 3 1/2 month old little girl. Son's daddy is pretty involved in his lift but doesn't support him financially. He has him everysecond weekend and shared holidays and summers. My little girls father it is like pulling teeth somedays, he tells me that he wants to be in her life but it almost like it is when he feels like it as in having the day off but not showing up to get her until after supper(5pm)knowing she has to be home by 9 because he is not allowed to keep her over night yet(my choosing). He buys things for her but not always when she needs them. Anyhow my biggest struggle is to find time to exercise, eat healthy and get everything done around the house. I don't have many people that I can call on to get a break and there are days that I feel I just can't do this anymore. Anyone know what I am feeling here? It seems like the day is over before it has even begun and then with lack of sleep and financial struggles I feel like it is a losing battle. Now I am added to this battle by trying to get myself back in shape to get healthier to have more energy and feel alot better about myself, plus to be able to run and play with the children without feeling completely drained after. I just would like some suggestions on where to start and what I can do to get through these obsticales that are holding me down. Can any help??????????????
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SEACHELLE1969
9/9/06 1:08 P
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Hi I'M new here but yes im a single mom I have been divorced twice ... lOst a lot of weight after both divorces . My mom moved in with me about a year ago and i have gained 40lb ... wow .. I hate it, she buys all the wrong stuff , get her feeling hurt If i dont sit down and eat with the familey . I am 37 years old and she treats me like im 12 , but any way the strees of her living here and the stress of working and the three teenagers ( they are good kids) i think is just getting to me . I'm tired all the time , i work full time 12 hour days .
I have been to the doctor a few weeks ago , he did all the tests and he said i am perfectly NORAMAL LOL
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Oops...forgot to mention that I'm sorry that your Aunt had an accident. It's nice that you were able to help her. I hope all is okay now.
Loo
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Hi Madonna,
Nice to hear from you. I have been very busy, too and haven't been around much. My Mom and I moved into our new place on May 1st and so far it's great. We're getting along well and she's doing so much around the house that I have a lot more time to myself and to spend with my son.
I also wrote an exam for my job on May 3rd so studying for that kept me very busy, too. Now I'm just waiting for the results.
I haven't made any great strides in my weight loss due to being so very busy but am down about 7 pounds now. Hopefully soon I'll be back to a regular routine and can get things going faster.
Anyhow, I'm at work so I had better get back to it. I hope you're having a great day.
Loo
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| Hi Loozinwait, sorry I haven't been here in a while but have been very busy and my aunt had an accident so I had to spend almost a week in the hospital with her, I was kind of hard traying to balance it with my daughter and her schedule but thanks to God her father was able to help a lot with the pick up and drop off at school. Has your mom move in with you yet?? Thanks for the comment on Nicole I know she is a beautiful child but you know all kids are beautiful to the eyes of a mother. People always tellme how cute she is. Your Son is really cute too, I love the pictures with him in the bed, maybe I'll be brave enought to put a picture of myself on my sparkpages.
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LOOZINWAIT
4/11/06 4:59 P
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Yaaaahhhhh! You can do it. Please keep me posted on how you're doing. I'm going out of town for a couple of days but I'll be back.
Smiles,
Loo
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CARMELDELIGHT
4/11/06 4:34 P
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| Thanks for the suggestions. Yes I am able to chew gum while I work. It is going to take some serious discipline on my part to change my eating habits,but I know I can do it.I do have a fridge here under my water cooler so I am going to buy some fruit to bring here in the place of chips and sweets.
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LOOZINWAIT
4/11/06 4:01 P
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Carmeldelight,
Snacking at my desk isn't an issue for me as I work upstairs from the main office and the food isn't near me. I also get so deep in thought with my paperwork that I don't even think about snacking. I would suggest not keeping anything around that you shouldn't be eating. How about a big bowl of grapes or some carrots sticks, celery, etc.? That way you can snack but not get too many extra calories? How about chewing gum? Is that allowed where you work? I hope this helps!
Have a good day!
Loo
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CARMELDELIGHT
4/11/06 3:09 P
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Hi Loo, thanks for the encouragement!! Your outlook on the whole weight issue is very possitive. I know that I too can do the same thing. When I just do it, it becomes easier than my obsession over my size right now. I too work mon-fri 8:30 to 5, but I am trying to learn how to balance out my schedule because I got a promotion so my work load is a lot heavier now. One of my big problems is sitting in my office snacking while I work. Do you have any suggestions?
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| Loo...This is a very good way to think about losing weight. I kinda do the same thing. When I think about dieting all the time then I do bad but if I just go on about my business and in the back of my mind try to remember to stay away from the fast food all the time and the sweets need to be limited, I lose weight. I can't exercise all the time either and going to a gym is completely out of the question, who has time for a gym? Definitely not me.
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LOOZINWAIT
4/11/06 2:15 P
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Hi Carmeldelight!
Nice to "meet" you. I know how you feel. I get up at about 6:30 and don't get to sit down and rest until about 9:00 or so. Thankfully I have a job that is steady days, Monday thru Friday. It just seems that there's not enough hours in the day or energy in my body. I've just started working on my weight again and have decided not to put as much "thought" into it. I mean, I'm going to eat better and exercise but I'm making it part of my regular life instead of my whole life. I'm not going to think about it constantly, which is what I have done in the past. I'm going to plan my meals to be as healthy as I can and I'm going to fit exercise in as often as I can, but I'm not going to let it consume my mind. Does this make sense? I've decided to be happy in my life as it is, extra weight and all. It has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders to stop being so hard on myself. Yes, I want to lose weight and I will, but I'm going to worry about today only. I have enough stress in my life without adding more stress by fretting about my weight. I'm trying to focus on living a happy healthy life and not about what I look like. This is a new thought process for me, but it feels right. I have already lost over 3 lbs since April 5th by looking at things this way. I'm being positive and finding motivation and strength through Sparkpeople and the wonderful people here.
I hope you are having a sun-shiney day!
Loo
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CARMELDELIGHT
4/11/06 12:55 P
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 Hi everyone,I am new to this and I just wanted to jump in and introduce myself. I have two kids a boy who will be 11 this and a girl who is 5. My daughter is the only one who lives with me and my life is so hectic!! I am a single mom who gets up at 5 a.m and doesn't get to bed until 11p.m.I am trying to find the strength and energy to diet and exercise. With my busy schedule and depression I find comfort in food. I do have a work out room here at work but I need the motivation to walk up the steps and use it. I think about it alot. I know one thing if thoughtswould make me lose weight, I would weigh 100lbs!!!
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LOOZINWAIT
4/11/06 12:27 P
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Isabellamirac,
Glad to hear from you. Yes, I'm feeling so much more in control of my life. Sparkpeople has helped me a lot and I'm looking forward to my move. I've decided that I have to make time for myself and take care of my son's Mommy. I may have gone through a crappy time in the last 2 years but it's up to me to make my future bright and happy. It's nice to be able to talk to others who know what I'm going through. It makes me stronger.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
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ISABELLAMIRAC
4/11/06 12:22 P
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| Hey Loo - and all the other woman on this post - I just noticed Loo that your tone has changed so much since the first post - much more powerful, at peace and serene than the first one I read! I'm glad we have this forum to know that we are not alone, that our lives are valued no matter what the cirumstances, and that our children are the glue that keeps it all together. It's really helped me go from accepting my circumstances, to being proud and strong in my choices. Thanks!
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LOOZINWAIT
4/10/06 4:28 P
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Lillisa48,
Hello again. I totally agree. Your son will know how much you did for him, the same as mine will. Besides, we're lucky...we get ALL of our sons' hugs and kisses!
My best to you.
Loo
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| Thanks for the comment. Yeah, I try to think that one day his father will kick hisself in the butt because he is the one missing out on my sons life...I know my son will know who was there for him and the one who loves him. I do my best, that is all I can do.
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LOOZINWAIT
4/10/06 3:32 P
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Lillisa48,
Thanks for posting. I looked at your page and your son is adorable. I know how stressful it is to be a single Mom. I, too, struggle with my finances and lack of time and energy. What I try to remember is that one day my son will look back over his life and know how hard I worked to give him a good life. My ex will have more money, more vacations, more free time, etc. but I will have raised our son. I'm definitely living the richer life. I'm better off without my ex and his new woman is welcome to him. The best revenge is living well and I'm striving to lose weight and buy my own home.
We're strong women - we can do this!
Loo
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| Sorry to hear about everyone's hard times...I'm having some too. My son is 7 months old...his father is in north carolina...we live in alabama so needless to say, he doesn't see his son. As soon as I got pregnant things went bad between he and I. He has never seen his son nor asked about him. It hurt me a lot when I found out I was pregnant and he didn't want me to have the baby, even when I first had my son and his "sperm donor" didn't ask about him, I was hurt. As of now I feel I am getting stronger because I know I don't need his father around and I am better off without him...It is VERY stressful though trying to manage a career, family time, and time for myself. Babies are so expensive so I struggle a lot, therefore I am stressed about my finances too...I have done the overeating due to stress and I know it is bad but for some reason I can't help it. I am trying to work out on my lunches at work because we have a few pieces of work out equipment...but I never have the energy to do it...I hate exercising when I feel like this...anyways, let me quit venting...I just wanted to post something since I am in the same situation.
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Good morning Maddy,
Sorry to hear about what you've been going through. What I've learned (thanks to my counsellor) is that we cannot control what other people do or don't do - we can only control how we deal with it. I was getting so frustrated and angry, trying to make my ex be a better parent. I've just had to accept that he is who he is and I cannot do anything about it. What I can do, though, is be the best parent that I can be. There's no use worrying or fretting about things that I cannot change. It's very difficult to watch my child be left behind while his father is busy with his new life. I'm supposed to protect my child from pain but this I cannot change. I have to just let him know that I am there for him and he can always count on me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I wish you success!
Loo
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| I have been away from the site for a few days and was happy to see that your mom will be staying with you. I was lucky to have a dear friend to lean on. 7 years ago I found myself single with 3 kids working full time and lost the place I was renting because I depended on my then husband. A friend let me move myself and 3 kids in with her. (my other 2 kids were married) A year later I managed to get out of debt and buy a house on my own. My ex didn't even give me child support then. I think as single moms we become stronger not only for ourselves but for our children. You would think I learned my lesson but I ended up getting involved with another jerk for 4 years and have my 2 year old. His dad is in and out of the picture which is not good for my son. I end up getting stressed about it and go straight to food. I just went through so much with my other kids because of their dad and I don't want the same thing to happen. Sorry but my thoughts just tumbled out. Thanks
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ISABELLAMIRAC
4/5/06 9:33 P
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| We are so lucky to have the family support that is needed for any parent - single or not. Isn't this the greatest site!? I've really seen so much change in just a few short weeks. Keep workin it!
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Isabella,
It sounds like you have a great support system, too. Like you, I'm glad that I'm on my own now. Even though my ex's cheating and terrible treatment of me was very painful to go through, ironically, he has done me a favour. I'm glad that I found out after only 6 yrs of marriage that he was a big ol' jerk instead of after 10, 15 or 20. I'm still young enough to start my life all over again.
I feel very blessed to have my son. I fought and won sole custody which is absolutely the best thing for my son. We're very close and he's the light of my life. I know that I am a better parent when I make time to exercise and burn off my stress. Living with my Mom will allow me to do that. I want to be healthy and live a long life for the sake of my son. Sparkpeople is helping me to do that, too.
Smiles,
Loo
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ISABELLAMIRAC
4/4/06 2:20 P
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Loozinwait - good for you for reaching out and seeking support, that's the first most important step. I broke up with my then boyfriend while I was pregnant (and I'm still thanking god for that piece of common sense!), he quickly started dating again and ultimately found a woman (while I was still pregnant) who strongly discouraged him from having a relationship with his daughter. So much for her having all his support... But a few years later, I have just come to the place that we are SO much better off without him - and I have the good hand, ladies - we are the lucky ones, we have our kids!
Thank god for the family - I live on the same property (different dwelling) as my parents, and they are god-sends. I also know that I am a much better parent when I schedule me-time, and take it as seriously as any other commitment. Life is beautiful, and it is what we make it - we can't change the actions of others, just how we re-act to it. Good luck with your move Loo, and Maddy - Nicole is stunning!!
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LOOZINWAIT
4/4/06 12:19 P
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Maddy,
Nice to hear from you again. I'm really excited about the move. My Mom and I get along great and I could really use her help now. With someone to look after my son, I will have time for walks, bike rides or trips to the gym. Woohoo! Also, with someone around to keep me company, I will be less inclined to head for the kitchen in the evenings. That's the worst time for me.
Life is going to be very busy for the next month or so but in a good way. I hope that being busy will help to keep me from eating. Packing and moving is great exercise, too.
I hope you are having a great day!
Loo
PS I know I told you this before, but your daughter is absolutely beautiful. I just love the profile picture that shows with your posts. You're going to be beating the boys away from your doorstep one day!
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Hi LOOZINWAIT,
Wow!!! that is a big news, you better take advantage. I know what you mean of having your Mom around. She sure is going to give you that extra support you need.
My Mom comes every summer and during X-Mas time, and she usually stays for 3 months, when ever she's around is like nothing matters, she's that shoulder you need when everything is wrong and she's also the best friend to talk & the one that will keep your top secrets no matter what.
I'm so happy for you, know you'll have a buddy to walk with or just relax with. I bet your sons is very excited too. Now Grandma will be around to play those games that Mom is too bored to play again with him.
What else can I say be very thankful that she's willing to move in with you & your son. Best of luck and please keep us up to date on how things go.
Take care,
Maddy & Nicole
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Hi Health,
I totally agree with you, maybe we can give each other advice on what to do when the kids are not around or what to with they are around. Well I can imagine you cooking for two boys. Are they hard to please? Do you cook different meals for you? I kind of have it easy, Nicole isn't hard to please, she will eat anything I give her, she love fruits and veg.
The only problem I'm having with her is at school, she doesn't eat much, her exuse is that she likes to eat with me or that the kids make too much noise at the table. Shes only 5 so I'm hoping and praying that things get better with her.
Maddy & Nicole
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LOOZINWAIT
4/3/06 11:30 A
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Hello again! Thank you so much for all of the advice and encouragement. I have big news now. I am moving into a 3-bedroom place on May 1st and my Mom is going to come and live with me for awhile. Sharing the rent will allow me to get some debts paid off and I will no longer be broke all of the time. As well, my Mom doesn't work (she has MS) and loves to clean the house so that will be a big help to me. She has also volunteered to stay home with my son so I can go to the gym or take a work-out class. The new place is half of a duplex, with a deck and fenced yard so it's great for my son, too. I really feel good about this move and am looking forward to it. My Mom and I get along great and are like best friends. I'm hoping to buy a house next year so being able to clear up some debt is very important.
As for my weight, I haven't lost any more but I'm hopefuly that will change once I move. I used to love going to the gym but I haven't been able to find the time, especially with no one at home to look after my son. My Mom is also looking to lose some weight so we'll be working on it together.
As for my ex, I no longer love him but am struggling with my anger and bitterness towards him. I hate his new woman, as do a lot of people that I know. She is not a good person and has no idea how to raise a child. She's nice to my son, thankfully, but can be very moody. My son doesn't feel comfortable around her, but I encourage him to get along.
As for eating all the time, I tend to do that late in the evenings. It's my way of relaxing, dealing with my stress, getting some energy, staying awake, etc. I think that with my Mom around, I won't do that near as much. I try to find things to do that keep me busy or things that I can't eat while doing, such as taking a bath, talking to a friend on the phone, doing a crossword puzzle and things like that. It works, but I don't always think to do that before I'm on auto-pilot and eating anyway. I keep trying and working on it, though.
Regards
Loo
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