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LOOZINWAIT
3/28/06 8:25 P
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Heidi...
Glad to hear that you have met a nice man who is good to your children. I don't have any interest in men at this point. I'm sure I will someday but right now the only man in my life is my son. I, too, believe that there's a silver lining. I didn't realize how unhappy I was in our marriage until after we separated and I realized how much of life I was missing out on. He was too controlling and condescending and crushed my spirit. I was Wife and Mom and not ME anymore. That has changed and I am a better parent and a better person without him. In a strange way, I guess he did me a favor. I just need to get over my anger at having to lose my home, my financial stability and the future that I had planned for my son and myself. I also have to do the best I can for my son now. Losing weight and being healthy is extra important, now that my son really only has me to count one. I owe it to him to be the best Mommy I can.
I wish you the best and please continue to do what you can to protect your son from hurt.
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HEIDIJOHNSON
3/27/06 6:47 P
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Thank you! It is nice to know that someone understands me and my situation. My ex also cheated on me and informed me that he was in love with another woman, right after I got pregnant with our son! But I know that every cloud has a silver lining because now I am blessed to have a real man in my life that treats my children as if they were his own.
I wish you luck in your situation,too. Let's keep our children number 1.
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LOOZINWAIT
3/27/06 12:52 P
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I feel for you Heidi. My ex is not a good Father. He lets my son ride in a vehicle without a seatbelt, never phones him or asks about his report card. He pays more attention to his girlfriend than he does to our son when he has him every second weekend. He cheated on me for months and then left and moved in with her. Thankfully, there isn't any physical abuse, but the emotional impact on my son is very evident. It angers me that by doing what he's doing, he's changing the person that my son will grow up to be.
I'm glad that you are keeping records of the bruises, etc. as that will be very valuable if you can take him back to court. I truly hope that you can get his visits supervised.
My thoughts are with you and please do everything you can to make things better for your darling little boy.
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I hope you go to court soon. I thought about your situation as I was putting my younger son to bed tonight, and it breaks my heart. He could never have dealt with what my older son went through - he's just not as resilient.
I would definitely contact social services - it couldn't hurt.
I hope that things get better soon for your son
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DENNISBISHOP
3/25/06 9:59 P
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| Good luck Heidi, God Speed
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HEIDIJOHNSON
3/25/06 9:32 P
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| We havent gone to court yet. I will be submitting my pictures and documents from hospital visits. I would loe to get supervised visitations. i have also thought of calling DHS to see if they can go check out the situation and living environment, but I am just waiting to see where the situation goes in court. Thank you for your prayers, they are apreciated and very much needed.
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| If it's that bad, I would try to get back in court, with the same or a different lawyer. I thought the courts were bad here. My situation never got that bad - my son never actually got hurt, just a really bad sunburn once. It sounds like they need to assign a social worker or children's advocate to your case. I would try to get supervised visitation, or something ! If he's intentionally hurting your son or allowing him to be hurt just to hurt you, something needs to be done. I'll be praying for you and your son.
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DENNISBISHOP
3/24/06 10:51 P
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| I would get a different lawyer!
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HEIDIJOHNSON
3/24/06 10:26 P
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| yeah, we have been taking pics and documenting ER visits. I have tried talking to him about it but he always turns it around on me by saying that I was the one who wanted it this way. He was not faithful, so of course I left. But sometimes I think that he knows that the only way to hurt me is through my son so he tries.
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I went through something similar. I used to worry so much that I would break out in hives in the middle of the night. The only thing I could do was pray, pray, pray. I finally decided that this was never going to be good for any of us, so we got back together and had another child. I realize that not everyone would want to do this, and it does create some new problems.
Your lawyer is probably right, but keep a record, take pictures, etc. At the same time, try to coach your ex on parenting skills in a friendly way, and try to get along with him as best you can.
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HEIDIJOHNSON
3/24/06 9:49 P
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My son is 2. He goes to his Dads house every other weekend and he either comes home with foam shoved so far up his nose that I have to take him to a specialist, a gash in his chin that needs stitches, a busted lip, head, unexplainable bruises. He has also come home with head lice twice and skin mites once.
I know he is 2 but he doesn't get hurt like that here, what do I do?
My lawyer says there is nothing I can do because of his age, but come on!
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