Yana, next time, next guy, don't ask if he has a girl friend. That line set the context for the whole thing to "Hey, I want more from you". That took him off guard. Don't go into the dating frame, offer an opportunity to hang out together. My impression is he didn't know how to handle the situation, and still doesn't. If I were you, I'd pursue this guy a bit further, give him a second chance. Get him alone and talk to him if you're still interested. Restart from square one and act as if the whole blushing thing had not happened. In any case it's a learning opportunity. And if he says something like he's not interested (or "just wants to be friends") you can make it clear that you don't want to have an awkward situation next semester. Ask him if he is cool with talking to you then. Good luck!
GOLFPRO 3/25/06 7:39 P
Earongatlin....
Intersting post. Maybe I misunderstood, it seemed like you were saying the insecure guys WANT the girl to approach? Never thought of it that way. I think the most secure guys are the ones who don't have issues with it. A guys who is secure with who he is shouldn't have a problem with being asked out.
I'm married now, but I've had girls ask me out in the past and never had a problem with it. In fact even ended up going out with a girl who left an "anonymous" note on my car one day. Then again, I'm very comfortable with who I am and have NEVER cared what people think of me.
In todays day and age there are still some old fashioned guys out there. But for the most part, at least out here in California, people are much more relaxed about who's "in control". It's all about having a good time and enjoying life. Heck, even when I was a teenager I thought it would be great to have a wife making all the money so I could just do what I wanted. (hope my wife doesn't read that...lol)
Anyway, just interesting to read how different people can feel about relationships and the whole courting process.
Matt
EARONGATLIN 3/25/06 10:57 A
Honestly I applaude these guys for the effert on giving you advice. Even though men say all the time they want a girl to approach them they are lying, We dont, well most dont. maybe there are the guys who are insecure and afraid. Myself if a girl approached me sure i would talk to her and probably entertain the offer, but it wouldnt be anything more than that. Guys all feel like they have to be in control and they want to be the one who asks out the girl not the other way around.
RIFFING 3/18/06 1:37 P
Good advice. If you see him again, talk to him a few more times but don't bring up anything about hanging out. The way I see it, he's either shy or not interested (but didn't want to tell you directly for whatever reason). If he's shy, you give him the opportunity to get his courage up by talking to him a few times. If he's not interested, you're just being friendly. In either case, if nothing happens after a few times of talking to him, move on.
YANA1025 3/15/06 11:43 P
Thank you!! I really appreciate the advice :)
GOLFPRO 3/15/06 11:40 P
Dont' ever be embarrassed for expressing your feelings, it's who you are. =) Chances are that you won't have the same class, and if you do, just say "hi, nice to see you again, how've things been?". You'll both feel awkward if you act weird or ignore each other. You're best bet is to just try to strike up a conversation. You'll both be more comfortable and it may even lead to him asking if you want to go out.
YANA1025 3/15/06 11:36 P
Hmm, so what is it going to be like if I see him in one of my classes next semester? Is there anything I should/shouldn't do? I'm not sure who it's more embarrassing for.. he he
GOLFPRO 3/15/06 11:30 P
I wouldn't necessarily take this as him being immature. Some people have intimacy issues, some guys are surprised when a woman asks them out, while other guys are just shy when it comes to more than idle chi-chat. While talking in class he knew there was never anything other than small talk that would be quickly ended by class. Now you're wanting to take it outside the classrom and he may feel intimidated or just have a difficult time with social interaction.
Oooooor.....he does actually have a girlfiend but didn't want to fess up to it. lol. Either way, the way I see it, if it were meant to be it would have happened. Don't take it personally, I'm sure it's his loss.
I believe the old saying is "men are from mars and women are from venus". If we understood one another life would be too easy. hahaha
matt
YANA1025 3/15/06 11:22 P
Sorry, I just had to ask a question..
I'm 23 and I've been told that I was attractive.
I started going to college again. In one of my classes there is a really cute guy and we exchanged a few glances and talked for a couple of mins during our 7 week class. The last class before the final I went up to him and asked him if he had a gf, he said no, so I asked if he would like to do something. He said "Yes, but I'm not sure if I have plans." I think I took him off guard. Today, in class he wouldn't look at me and was blushing the whole time in class. He left early and didn't say a word to me. I thought high school was over and this stuff wouldn't happen anymore.
then. Good luck!
