  |
|
|
|
| There is no way I would work again. I worked for about two months last year and I couldn't stand it. I always planned at being a stay at home mom because the only job I had was when I was sixteen but I got the bright idea maybe I should work part time but I was kidding myself. I constantly worried about what my son was doing and if he was okay. One night when I was getting ready for work he look at me with the most pitiful face and said mommy don't go to work I miss you and that was it for me I worked that night and then I quit. When he said that my heart just broke and I was just working to get out of the house. We don't need the money my husband makes plenty and is about to take over his father's buisness. So, no more working for me maybe sometimes fill in for their secretary when she goes on vaction but I can have my son with me so that will be just fine.
|
|
STACYANN982
3/1/06 10:19 P
|
|
|
|
| I couldn't do it. I would be lost if I didn't work. My husband has a really good career and works from home. I did stay home for a year to have the baby he is 6 mths now and my daughter is 5. He watches the baby. I went back to work when the baby was 6 weeks. I don't feel like I am missing anything or that anything should be diffrent I love things the way they are.
|
|
STACYANN982
3/1/06 10:19 P
|
|
|
|
| I couldn't do it. I would be lost if I didn't work. My husband has a really good career and works from home. I did stay home for a year to have the baby he is 6 mths now and my daughter is 5. He watches the baby. I went back to work when the baby was 6 weeks. I don't feel like I am missing anything or that anything should be diffrent I love things the way they are.
|
|
STACYANN982
3/1/06 10:19 P
|
|
|
|
| I couldn't do it. I would be lost if I didn't work. My husband has a really good career and works from home. I did stay home for a year to have the baby he is 6 mths now and my daughter is 5. He watches the baby. I went back to work when the baby was 6 weeks. I don't feel like I am missing anything or that anything should be diffrent I love things the way they are.
|
|
STACYANN982
3/1/06 10:19 P
|
|
|
|
| I couldn't do it. I would be lost if I didn't work. My husband has a really good career and works from home. I did stay home for a year to have the baby he is 6 mths now and my daughter is 5. He watches the baby. I went back to work when the baby was 6 weeks. I don't feel like I am missing anything or that anything should be diffrent I love things the way they are.
|
|
|
|
I have thought about the same thing. I would lOVE to stay at home with my son, and new one on the way. But I had to put all the numbers down on paper. How much did I spend on day care, how much for gas, food, how much did I really end up bringing in. I figured it out a few ways. Full time, 4 days a week, full time day care, and some with Grandma's watching them once a week. I think if I can pay off one of our vehicles I would be able to quit.
I would compare how much you make, to how much you are going to spend on child care or other expencise.
Beckie
|
|
|
|
There's two ways of looking at that. I mostly paid my own way through - I got a lotta grants and my mom helped out one year too. So here are the two ways:
1. They walk out of school with a financial burden, which they have to pay back.
2. They walk out of school with a great start at building their own credit history (school loans are not "bad" loans to have on your credit). They learn from the get go early on how to be more responsible with their own money. They learn how to be more responsible during school, too, because they're paying for it in the end. I had to work while in school and sometimes it was stressful, but mostly it gave me jobs on my resume that my peers who'd had their parents pay for everything didn't have. I was up and working a lot faster than they were. College loans offer several payback options from just not paying them at all for a little while if the going gets very tough to a graduated payment plan w/lower payments that increase over time, to the full amount. Also, certain career paths allow you to not have to pay them at all! (Teachers) You can also pay extra when you have the money. I paid my loans off when I was 30 and it was such a huge accomplishment.
Don't over look grant programs, etc. Maybe something you can do is just have a little bit of money to help them out, but not enough to completely cover the costs.
Anyhow, I plan on helping my daughter out, but expecting her to come up with some of the cash as well.
|
|
LOUISEANNA
3/1/06 12:54 P
|
|
|
|
Well, Ladies
I thank you all for your advise and probably will be staying home. I never thought of the extras, like clothes because I work for doctors and such I can't wear my favorite jean and so on.
|
|
|
|
| I am going to say Staying Home is the best I worked for about two months last Christmas and it was okay but I really missed being with my son and there is just no way I could work everyday knowing that he would be without me. So I am now a Stay at home Mom again and I don't think I will ever work again. Unless I go be a secretary for my husband at his buisness but I would be able to have my son with me which is all that matters to me.
|
|
|
|
| Great idea making lists. Don't forget to add to the cost of working things like the cost of gas, wear-n-tare on your vehicle, clothing if you have to wear other clothes, eating out for lunch, office birthday, baby, bridal parties, etc. Those hidden costs really add up.
|
|
SPITFYRE75
2/27/06 2:54 P
|
|
|
|
Ultimately the decision has to be your's and your's alone. Sit down and make a list of pro's and con's. How much would you make, how much is child care going to cost? Would you be happy going back to work verses continuing to stay home with your children?
That being said I stay home with my 2 children. The reason we chose for me to stay home was the fact that we are over-protective when it comes to who keeps our kids. We refuse to put them in daycare and it would actually cost us more for me to work than it does for me to stay home with them.
Good luck in whatever you choose!
|
|
|
|
Staying home was never an option for me.
I think if you can make ends meet and you are happy,
staying home is the way to go.
You have to do what is best for your situation.
Since I have to work I switched to working for a school when my daughter started school. Now
I am off when she is off and it is the best of both worlds.
|
|
|
|
I really agree with what kritasim said about how you approach the situation. Other people will take a lot of how they handle the changing circumstance from how you seem to think and feel about it. If you feel like you're "putting the kids and family through undue stress," they are likely to interpret it that way, too. If on the other hand you look at the situation as something more positive, they're much more likely to see the benefits, as well.
|
|
|
|
I was a single mom and still in college. I went to school, worked part time, raised my girl alone, and still managed to nurse her for two years. After college, I launched into a pursuit of my career. For the next nine years, I always worked! Then, I married three years ago and my financial situation changed. Various circumstances caused me to stop working. I have really enjoyed being here when daughter comes home from school, but on the other hand, there just isn't enough substance in my life without a carreer. I launched a second career which was going well, then through soul searching, decided that second career choice wasn't for me. Still, I stay home and still I am bored. And guess what? I've gained 40 pounds!!! (I digress, but my answer to these issues is to join spark and go get my master's degree!)
For me, the answer lies in your own personal satisfaction from the purpose and intention of your life. I don't think that's selfish. Also, the greatest thing about most desicions (as I learned with my second career tract) is that they can be changed and we don't even have to loose face! Don't think of changing your mind as "putting the kids and family through undue stress," think of it as "exploring your preferences." A spin like this will help your family feel more supportive of you because they know they'd want your support while they explore their Selves.
|
|
|
|
I've been on the fence about this topic on and off for years. (I have three kids ages 2, 15, and 18.) I've job-shared to work part-time, worked full-time outside the home, did the stay-at-home-mom thing, and currently work at home.
I've always been torn no matter which I choose. I love being home, but I wonder if things would be better if I was working. When I was working full-time outside the home, I always longed to be home.
Now that I work at home, I feel a little more balanced. I'm here for my kids, and my work allows me to feel that I am contributing to the family coffers, as well as involving me in something that is intellectually stimulating.
There are, of course, benefits to both worlds, and only you know the right decision for you and your family. I know it's easy to get caught up in the future, and yes, it's a good idea to plan for it. But I think we get too focused on what our future needs might be.
A lot could change between now and when my youngest is ready for college. So, personally, I try to remember to live in today and make my decisions with that in mind.
Best to you and your family,
kshoop
|
|
KIMBERAKA
2/26/06 11:12 A
|
|
|
|
I really appreciate your situation. I stayed home with my kids as long as I could. I have a boy and a girl. I was lucky though because my career was in child care and the daycare I worked at let me bring my kids. Then I quit there and ran a daycare in my home for several years, so it was really the best of both worlds because I was there when they came home from school.
But the ultimate for me was when we decided to homeschool our kids, then they were always here with me.
About a year and half ago my husband decided to start his own business from home and now we are all home all the time.
Believe me, there is good and bad in that.
Good luck with your decision. I no longer have the daycare in my home, I actually help run my husband's graphic design business. Finally get to use my college degree after all these years.
But in the end its really a personal decision. I know if my husband wouldn't have quit the corporate world he would have gone nuts! There are a lot of factors to take into consideration and you have to do what's best for you and your family.
|
|
|
|
I know that if I could afford to, I would DEFINATELY stay home.
As far as college...does your state have a pre-paid college plan. I live in FL and both of my kids are enrolled in a pre-paid college plan. The tuition rate was locked in for the year I enrolled them. Considering the speed at which tuition rates rise, that will be a huge diffence in 17 years. I pay $21 a month for each of them. If they decide not to go, I get the money back that I've paid in. It's really cool.
Amber
|
|
LOUISEANNA
2/25/06 2:51 P
|
|
|
|
| My big problem is school. University is not cheap. I will be 56 when the last one goes. You can put money away but still I have 4 kids. The financial burden for them after they graduate is not what I wish on them. My sister is 32 and she is still paying.
|
|
|
|
| That's such a personal choice, I really couldn't say. I have 2 children and went back to work when they were very young. they're 13 and 16 now and they've turned out fine (most on the time! :) )Do I have some regrets? Yup. I know I missed out on some stuff that was important just by not being there all the time. Would I have regretted not working? Probably. Do what feels best for you and your family and be prepared for someone to think it's the wrong choice. Everybody has opinions but yours is the one that really matters with this.
|
|
|
|
| I think that if you can afford it, staying home is a great option. You get to raise your kids and make sure they grow up with the values you want them to have. If you have to go back to work, consider part time, working different shifts, and putting it off until they are older. You don't want to miss the milestones. Please know this is my opinion. I loved being an engineer, but time with my daughter is priceless.
|
|
NETLOCMOMMA
2/24/06 8:06 P
|
|
|
|
I've also got 4 kids. Going back to work is always in the back of my mind. I've recently taken a very part time position. A few years ago, when I had only 3 kids, I did to back to work...and while I was there I found myself wishing that I was at home. I think full time employment was too much for me. I want to work, but not 40 hours a week.
Good luck to you! This is a hard decision to make! Unfortunatly so many people will be negative on you working or staying home...so you just please yourself and your family. :)
|
|
LOUISEANNA
2/24/06 7:42 P
|
|
|
|
hi
not sure if I should go back to work or stay home. the money is nice but i will missed my 4 kids (i am new to this message boards, sorry if i make any mistake)
|
|
