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PAPERKEEPSAKES
6/12/06 9:00 P
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Oh I thought of another line my son used to use
anytime he started saying anything he would say:
Well Actually Mom.........
I guess you had to be there but he was only 4? He said it with everything!
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PAPERKEEPSAKES
6/12/06 8:56 P
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Ok I do daycare and have an 8 years so I should have a lot but can only think of one right now.
I had this cute little 3 year old and in the summer we were by the swimming pond and she was telling me about her mommy and daddy....well then unfortuanelly for a sec I tuned her out until she said and you know my daddy has a big @uck! I was like what? she said.. you know my daddys big black @&uck oh my the other kids were trying not to laugh and I realized She was talking about her father big black Ram pickup truck. I worked on her T's after that!
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BRANDILUNSFORD
5/31/06 4:06 A
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my daughter is only 9 months so she has started all of this good stuff yet, but i have a good one.
me and my brother were 7 years apart so i remember his childhood very well. As a typical 2 year oldboy he loved mowing the yard well siting in a wagon that my dad use to hook up to the lawn mower (i know not very safe) We were in the middle of church. The preacher had just end the service in prayer and JT jumps up and yells "MOMMY CAN WE GO HOME AND MOW THE A$$" Trying to say grass. Everyone stopped what ther were doing instantly looking at my parents like they were evil
BUT I FOUND IT FUNNY I AM SURE MADISON (my daugher)WILL DO THE SAME TO ME SOMEDAY
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Here one
Whenever I have a chance I make it my habit to have the family sit down for dinner and we pray prior to eating, well my 3 y/o decided he wanted to say grace and mind you the always say the age old "God is good God is grace" pray, so he started off on the right foot and right after God is grace he began to recite the pledge of allegiance and when he was done he said AMEN!
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JOTRKMOMMY
5/23/06 2:22 P
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| I always call my daughter "wookie." I have no idea why, but it just got in my head one day and now that is her nickname with mommy. So now she is starting to call people "wookie," and yesterday morning, as she was cuddling with her dad in the bed, she said, "Hi, wookie-daddy!" and she gave him a huge hug and kiss. We couldn't stop laughing.
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TJELLIOTT
5/22/06 10:10 P
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| My son loved to make up words and still does. He's six. He has always used lasterday for any day before yesterday.
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OFF-THE-WALL
5/20/06 8:40 A
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I just found this thread, how hilarious!! I have a book of all my kids"funnies" I just love em. Here is one from my 3 yr. old daughter: She was on the potty and I heard a thump then she said "OH GREAT" I go in there and she said I dropped the toliet paper in the trash can. I said well that's okay. Then later on that evening when my husband got home after dinner and all she goes in the potty again all of a sudden she yells "daddy I dropped the toilet paper in the trash AGAIN!"
I have so many so I won't over load you guys (JUST YET!) but here is one from my son when he was little: I was taking an asprin for a headache and he says "whatcha doing" I said mom has a headache and this is medicine to make it feel better. And he goes "is it gonna get in your brain?"
I have more anothEr day!
STAY STRONG everyone
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My sons like to go to the park and walk with me. It isn't finished yet but the walking track has been dozed, so we have started using it.
My youngest likes to follow me and find animal tracks. He finds mostly deer but sometimes dog or other animals.
I can see the play area the whole time so when he tires he can ride his bike or play on the swings or in the fort.
Sometimes older boys up to no good come down and try to tear things up or bother the cars, turned the port a potty over once or I get leary of non regulars.
I told him when the bigger boys came that he would have to stay with me and when someone new came if they made him feel uneasy or was afraid to run to me.
LOL, I was on my last round, usually on my way past I would holler at him and ask if he was ok or tell him that I was just checking on him. I recognized the van that had parked and wasn't concerned.
As I came around to the play area, he beat me to it and hollered MOM! They aren't doing anything to me! 
I called him over and told him thanks but he really didn't need to holler it out where everyone could hear it. : )
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LIZABAKER
5/19/06 11:26 A
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| Okay, Sassybrat - I think you win! Those were truly the funniest.... I'm still laughing 10 minutes later, just had to come back and tell you you made my morning.
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SASSYBRAT
5/18/06 10:46 P
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my husband works on computers for our county. we constantly have police sgts county commisioners etc. calling our home because some system needs something.
when my son was 3 (he's 6 now) we were sitting down to dinner and the phone rang..my husband was walking back and forth listening on the phone..when he hung up he said that was commissioner so and so and i have to go down to the hall of justice (what they call the police dept in our town) to help him with something..he walked out the door..my son was sitting at the table with his spoon half way to his mouth and his eyes as big as saucers..he looked at me and said "mom? is my dad batman?" i said "yes! but you can't tell ANYONE!" i had to walk out of the room and bust up. he believed his dad was batman for about a year lol
when he was 2 and a half i was out in the yard pulling weeds...he was outside with me and the phone rang..his little legs were faster so he got the phone..just as i came up on the porch i heard him say "mommy's doing weed" OMG! i imagined the police dpt on the other end i grabbed the phone and said hello????? and my mother was on the other end laughing her head off ...whew!!!! hehe
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| I just wanted to share a funny story. My 4 yr old son is always saying things that make us chuckle. I have had to bite my lip many times because I am supposed to be angry at him and he is making me laugh. The other day he wiped his mouth with his shirt after eating oatmeal. I told him to use a napkin and that I was tired of constantly telling him to stop wiping his mouth and hands on his shirt. So, later he was looking down at his shirt and I looked and saw oatmeal all over it. So, I said in a bit of a loud voice, "WHAT IS ON YOUR SHIRT?" He said, " I realllly don't want to tell you" and then he walked away. lol
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BILLYS_SILLY
5/17/06 1:34 P
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 That is so funny. I just imagine that arc....lol
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| This just happened on Sunday, my 1 yr old son needed a diaper change on our trip home from Chicago and the gas station had a horrible bathroom so my husband decided to change our boys diaper in the front seat of the car...well, I came from around the back of the car just in time to see a perfect little arc of pee coming out of the passenger door. Wow he has distance!! My husband and I laughed for the longest time after that. And, luckily we didn't have any pee on the seat!
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LISTNWTHURHEART
5/17/06 11:59 A
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| I had a moment with my 11 year old son in the car the other day. I have lost a total of 36 lbs since starting spark people and the other day my son says to me... "Mom, I can really tell your loosing weight." I ask... "Yeah?" and he replies (while adjusting his hands out then in) with... "Yeah, your tummy used to be this far from the steering wheel, now its only this far!" As embarassing as being overweight can be, I had to share this with everyone,I had a great laugh.
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LIZABAKER
5/17/06 11:36 A
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| Oh yeah, we had a similar horrible experience at the dentist's office. My baby chipped a tooth and they tried to straightjacket him - he actually wriggled his way out! So yesterday we went the "easy" route and had him sedated for getting his cavities filled - OMG, I will NEVER do that again - he recovered his coordination at 4 p.m. after an 8:30 a.m. appt. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen.
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/16/06 2:27 A
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LOL I Know Liza,
I would never think of blowing into the mouth though. I am not sure if my children would even allow that. I was just thankful it had dissolved by the time we had seen the doctor.
The next time he stuffed bread up his nose and wasn't so lucky. Ofcourse in something moist the bread expands and there was no way I could get it out by making him blow his nose. Off to the doctors we went again and they had him wrapped in a huge blanket and I had to basically lay on top of him and me being 200 lbs at the time You would think I could hold him down. He screamed and kicked so hard he litterally would lift me off the table. The doctor came and removed the bread with this huge tong sort of looking thing.. not a pleasant experience to say the least.
Funny now and he loves hearing those stories..over and over and over and over again lol
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SABRINAJL
5/15/06 10:39 P
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When DD was 8 she came home from school asking me what a sperm bank was. I figured this was as good a time as any so I gave her the basic rundown about sex. She, of course, responds with the appropriate amount of horror and retching sounds.
Then the conversation takes an amusing turn.
DD: "Wait. How do you know this?"
ME: "Well, you were conceived the same way ALL babies are conceived."
DD: "EWWWWWW!! You and dad DID that?!?!?!"
ME: "Yeah, and I hate to break it to you, but we still do."
She was utterly horrified and I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.
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| Yuck - something I learned from my paramedic brother, for future reference: stop up the clear nostril, cover the child's mouth with yours and BLOW HARD! Good for removing small objects that aren't too badly stuck....
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/15/06 1:17 P
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Yikes Scary stuff!! Glad he's doing ok and didn't get hurt more!
My son when i was potty training him I would treat him with mini gobstoppers. Well he decided he was going to play with it. He stuffed it up his nose and I couldn't get it out so didn't know what to do. I brought him to the emergency room and by the time we had seen the doctor it must have dissolved from his runny nose and cold. LOL
After I should have known it wouldn't be a big deal but at times you don't think when you think your child could get hurt in someway or another!
That wasn't the only time he stuck something up his nose but I will save that for another day!!
I love hearing all the stories.. Keep em coming!!!
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This wasn't funny when it happened but we laugh about it now.
Our 11 yr old son was riding his bike. Not thinking, he went to the top of the hill, and thought that he would see how fast that he could come off of it. As he was coming down he couldn't get stopped. So, he thought that he would hit a railroad tie so that he could get stopped.
When he hit the railroad tie the bike threw him about 20 ft on his back and the bike landed about 50 ft away. Luckily, he had my cell phone and called me, he thought that he was hurt bad. He told me where he was and when I first went out to find him I didn't see him. I called his name and found him over the bank.
We took him to the dr and he had sprained his ankle. The dr just about died laughing when he told him what happened.
He didn't ride his bike for awhile and now he doesn't go to the top of the hill to see how fast he can come off of it.
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BILLYS_SILLY
5/14/06 11:41 P
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Happy Mother's Day
--Answers from 2nd graders
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like He made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say No to drugs and Yes to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be the boss, but she has to, because dad's such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power, because that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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| I love the words kids make up! My daughter said "pretember" for pretend for the longest time....
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/14/06 3:56 P
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| One time I was meeting a friend of mine that I had chatted to for sometime and we went for coffee during the coffee my daughter (aged 3) started to poke my chest. I pushed her hand away and asked what she was doing... She looked at me seriously and said "I just want to touch your boobies" ... I was sooo humiliated and the friend just burst out laughing and still bugs me to this day.
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Holly~
That's so funny to me because I have always hated to be stuck at a green light behind someone who doesn't notice and go. So I am sitting behind them shouting, "Go! Go!"
Now even if the light isn't green ... When we stop, if I am not shouting ... my little one is!
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LHOLLYBERRY
5/5/06 11:18 A
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| Talking about road rage reminded me of a funny story with my daughter, who was 6 at the time. We were nearly at her elementary school, and we were cutting it close that day to get her there on time. As you are well aware, I am sure, it gets chaotic, traffic laws go out the window because everyone wants THEIR child there on time and forget about the rest of the parents. An expensive SUV pulled out in front of me and I had to hit the brakes fairly hard. Oh, I was stressing! My precious Kellie looked at me with all the innocence of youth and big, beautiful eyes and said, "Mommy, that's Kaitlyn's mommy. Is she an a**hole too?" Oh, I wanted to die, trying to not laugh, but it really relieved the stress of the moment. I had worked so hard to not say THOSE WORDS in front of her, but apparently she heard it somewhere.
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XOXO_UN1_OXOX
5/4/06 2:41 P
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I loved reading all the stories!! kids are so cute.
One of my many stories are:
My oldest son was a fearless child. One year we were building a garage and My husband and I were on the roof while my brother in law was on the ground handing us sheets. My son who was 3 at the time decided he was going to help us. (Not letting us know he was going to help) We had a Ladder but because my husband built it you had to have long legs to climb it properly..well to make a long story short we heard him yelling for help and when we realized where he was all we saw was him hanging onto the rafters and couldn't get onto the roof.. It wasn't funny. He loves to hear the story and laughs everytime.
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my son, who is 11 months, recently discovered how to push any buttons in sight. Just the other day i was on the computer, trying to finish a paper for school, and just as i was about to click on SAVE, my darling son crawls to the computer, and pushes on the power button, turning the computer off. I spent the rest of the night retyping my paper.
and another story that i was humiliated by..
I was at my boss's home for dinner one night and i brought my son with me. As we were saying goodbye, my boss leaned in to say goodbye to my son, and i told him to wave goodbye, instead, he placed each one of his hands on my boss's breats. i assured her that he never did things like that, and she just laughed. i guess they start young dont they!
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We live on a small farm with lots of animals. My 7 yr old (then 5) saw some day old baby chicks and wanted to hold one desperately.
I told him that he couldn't that their momma would get upset and attack him.
He didn't believe me and caught one. As soon as he caught it, it began to call momma.
Momma flared her wings and started racing toward him,
bawling him out the whole way.
As soon as he saw her, he dropped the chick and ran for dear life.
ROFLM*O, to this day he won't pick up a baby chick unless I tell him it's ok.
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BLESSEDMAMAOF2
4/19/06 12:21 P
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| When my son was 2, we went to Pizza Hut with a couple of friends. The waitress came around for our drink orders and when he was asked what he wanted to drink he said Dr. Pecker ( meaning Dr. Pepper)Everyone got a good kick out of it but he couldn't figure out what he did to make everyone laugh. It took me a couple of months to finally get him to pronounce it correctly.
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Ok, these are great!!!
I have a couple too.
My son is almost 2 and my husband was in the living room and used the Sh!# word and my son was eating at the table and after a short pause he said "daddy, poopy" I have NO idea where he knew that. But we had a good laugh.
The other one, most men blame the kids when they pass gas. So Jared passed gas one day and said "daddy" after he did it. HAHA
Funny mispronounced words he uses:
"Bips" = Lips
"Balk" = Walk This one took a while to figure out, but after he brought me my shoes it sunk in.
"Bared do it" (he even rolls the "R") = Jared do it
"Paypub" = Caleb (his cousin)
Beckie
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| My daughter (19 months) recently started walking with a very defined hip swing. We have no idea why, but it is a riot to watch those baby hips swing. :)
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