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MRS.JURECZKI
4/23/07 9:26 A
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| I don't espect anything from them....but I do from my sister...I shouldn't have to beg her to help and come home so we can look at dresses and stuff together....my mom's makin me get her ok before I decide anything so I think she should be here...I don't think I need her ok either....
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Honestly, I'm not expecting anything from my bridesmaids except that they will be at the rehearsal with their dresses and at the wedding/reception. You can't really expect anything from them. They aren't servants...(despite the same bride's maids, they really aren't your maids.)
I don't think its really ANYONE'S responsibility to throw the shower. As someone said, its a gift.
MY fiance's mom threw us an engagement party shortly after we were engaged and then a shower in November and my mom is throwing me a shower at the end of may. My MOH isn't throwing me any showers... (though she is helping my mom a bit with the shower I think.)
Expecting what should be given as a present (and letting them know you expect it of them) is awefully bride-zilla-ish.
I know this is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime thing and we all want it to be perfect. - But it won't be, and its only one day. Don't turn into a bride-zilla. You want people to remember how beautiful you looked, not be mad at you because you turned into a spoiled brat.
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My husband and I were married in his native country (Germany) and I just had my maid of honor. It's not the custom there to have loads of bridesmaids, just having one person 'stand up' for you is still the tradition there.
Anyway, we planned all of the details ourselves. My MOH was from the US so she wouldn't have been able to help much, anyway! Next month I will be MOH at her wedding in the States, so I'm looking forward to that, but I won't be able to help much until I actually arrive in the country (am living overseas.)
I think I had a point when I started to type this... I don't think you can 'expect' bridesmaids to immediately flock to help and fawn over every detail of your wedding. It is *your* wedding, after all, and while they should be/are happy for you, there are some things you just can't have control over.
Dress ordering- I like the suggestion someone here had of having a lunch or so and organizing them to order their dresses. You, as the bride, probably have a better handle on when things need to be ordered by. They might be thinking there is loads of time (especially if they've never been in a wedding before!) when in reality, there isn't.
Bridal shower- I know the MOH is often the one to organize this, but wasn't it also done by the mother of the bride or something, at some point? Or maybe I'm thinking of the baby shower... In my case, my friend's sister is having the shower at her place, as I obviously can't do it where I live! :) I'm helping with it, but I can't claim to be the one 'organizing' it, unfortunately.
I actually had a lot of help from other friends when it came time to choose dresses. One was an older friend from work whose judgement on style I valued, and another was just a good friend. If you've got other friends who are keen on wedding stuff, then try to get them to help, too. I know I'd be completely happy to come along on someone's dress-shopping trip, even if I wasn't particularly close with that person.
I'm babbling. Just have fun. It's a fun time, take deep breaths, etc. :D
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| I am getting married May 19th this year so right around the corner!! Just trying to tie up all the lose ends now. I have not need much out of my bridesmaids My mom and I have pretty much everything under control for now. I think when it comes to getting everything set up is when i am going to be needing them all the most!!
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/20/07 9:36 A
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| awww that sounds fun....I've never really been to a spa...the place where I use to get my hair done (when I was a model for Dillards) had a spa but I was about 12 and that didn't even look fun to me...but now it does!!!!
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ABBIS_AUNT
4/20/07 9:25 A
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| They'll notice, it's hard to miss when they're that far along. We're having a pre-baby spa day for my MOH tomorrow, same place we'll have pedicures and manicures the day before the wedding. I've never been there so it will be nice to have a preview...
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/19/07 9:15 A
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| yeah my cousin wanted to make sure people would know she was pregnant not just really fat....so im sure at 8 months along they will notice!!!!
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Apparently I'm living the easy life with my bridesmaids/MOHS. Maybe its because I'm having a small wedding?
I don't have anything for them to do anyway. My mom and I have it all covered.
Leslie
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ABBIS_AUNT
4/18/07 11:16 A
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| Mrs. J: I'm glad she's 8 months pregnant now, at the wedding would be so much harder. Dresses are a nightmare to begin with and it's just an extra complication. She did tell me when I got engaged she would be pregnant bridesmaid but not a fat one so she made me promise to give her a couple months to lose some of the baby fat!!!
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NITROT150
4/18/07 11:12 A
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My 2 bridesmaids both live in different states, so not a lot of help there...but that is ok. I have a couple frineds here that are helping with everthing and throwing me a shower, so i'm covered, but mostly doing it all myself, and with the help of my fiance, he is awesoem, other than my dress, he helps with pretty much all the rest of the details!
Karen
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/18/07 11:08 A
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| ABBIS....my other bridesmaid is gonna be 8 months at the wedding!!!! Hopefully the dresses we picked out will fit and look good!!!!
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ABBIS_AUNT
4/18/07 11:02 A
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EEYORE, when are you getting married? We are set for Sept 15, and my bridesmaids just ordered their dresses on Saturday. They are in several places across the country so coordinating the ordering was a challenge.
My MOH is not throwing me a shower, she's taking care of the stagette. My aunt wants to have the shower and we didn't see the need for two. And my MOH is 8 months pregnant, so she's a little busy planning for the baby's arrival. So far I'm on my own mostly, so I can relate...
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MRS.JURECZKI
4/18/07 11:02 A
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| Girl I understand....my sister is my Maid of Honor....she "can't" do anything cause I live in Texas and she up and moved to Charleston, S.C.!!!! But my mom still wants her to "OK" everything before I make MY decissions!!!! My other 5 bridesmaids are closer and I talk to them everyday....and my junior bridesmaid/flower girl is my fiances sister so it isn't that bad to get with her either....my mom says my sister doesn't have to throw the shower that it is not the bridesmaids job it is the job of friends and family....WHATEVER!!!! My sister wants us to have the bach. party on the Thursday before the weddin...that is crazy...I want more time to recover!
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| I work with my maid of honor and another brides maid. My other bridesmaid lives about an 1.15 hours away and doesn't seam to have a clue. the two I work with threw me a shower last sat. the other one that lives a distance away asked if I wasn't busy on Sat if we could go pick up her dress and then I reminded her of the shower and she said oh yeah i can't make it to that!! Weird how she could come up to get her dress but couldn't come to the shower?? She didn't even reilize she needed to still get her dress altered!! So I know to a point what you mean!!
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HEALTHYRED
4/17/07 3:53 P
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Traditionally, the maid of honor throws the bridal shower. Have you chosen one yet?
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S-T-B-MRS.ASARO
4/17/07 2:43 P
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| Ok, that did sound bridezilla-ish. I totally did not mean it like that. My mom is doing most of the planning, and none of them seem like they want to be involoved at all. I guess thats what I meant to say.
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| Be careful. You don't want to sound like a bridezilla. They are not required to throw you a shower, it's like a gift. The dresses I can see you stressing about though. Try planning a girls day out to all get it done together. Meet for lunch then go get measured and order the dresses, then maybe go shopping together for fun. These are your friends, remember to treat them that way. GL!
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S-T-B-MRS.ASARO
4/17/07 1:09 P
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How do I motivate my bridesmaids? Mine are horrible. None of them really want to give me a bridal shower, and non have ordered there dress yet. I only talk to one of them on a daily basis, and the rest maybe once a week if I am lucky. Ahhh, what do I do?
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