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ALHANALASA
10/6/06 7:12 A
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| That's a good plan! My fiance and I are in New Hampshire. My family is in Maine and Tennessee, and his is in Vermont. Except for my brother, they aren't so far away that they couldn't come last minute, but it's still kind of a drive. Also, I'm thinking about maybe a Friday evening wedding, so most people will have to plan ahead and take a day off work, or at least an afternoon.
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SWIMGIRL555
10/5/06 10:46 P
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| How annoying that would be to have way more people show up than you are expecting. I am hoping my fiance and I won't have too much of that. We live in TN, my family is in Indiana, and his is in California but we are thinking about getting married in Chicago so everyone will have to travel which should alleviate most of the unexpected quests from showing up.
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ALHANALASA
10/5/06 7:47 A
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Christie,
The other thing you need to be aware of is how likely the people on your guest list are to not RSVP, but show up anyway. Or to RSVP for 2, and then tow along another 2. My fiance sister got married in April, 60 people RSVP'd, but 100 showed up. Luckily, they found out with enough time to get some more food together. I think that sort of thing is more likely if there's a "church family" involved - you're getting married at the church you've been going to forever, so the whole congregation feels "invited" even if they really aren't.
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| Try to make him create an A and B list. A being the must be there and B for backup. Sens out invites a little early and When A list people cancel send a B list invite.
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CHRISTIEW22
9/29/06 2:57 P
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| Hello all! I'm new here, and I could use some advice. My fiancee and I are fighting over the guest list. I want a small wedding because I'm in school and don't have the time, money (or the desire really) for something huge and extravagant. (And I'm really the one planning it, he hasn't done much to help.) I've managed to coerce him into a list of 150, and even that many gives me an anxiety attack. He says we absolutely have to invite everyone on the list, or else they will be angry and the world will end. So my question to you all is this: how many people on your invitation list have actually sent in RSVPs? And does anyone have any advice on the matter?
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DUBLINROSE
9/29/06 11:54 A
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We only have 15 guests plus ourselves....just family and very close friends. We were going to get married here at home and then when we sat down and worked out numbers and the cost we nearly died! It was so expensive so we've decided to get married overseas now and have a party at home when we get back.
to be honest with a lot of guests I would be so nervous I don't think I would enjoy the day. when a friend of mine got married a few years ago she told me afterwards she spent so much time talking to people and getting her photo taken with this person and that person that she hardly spoke to her husband all night !
Not for me..my mum in law to be has told me that the night before the wedding she is going to treat us and out guests to a nice meal in her hotel. We can sit around, have a few drinks and go to be relaxed with hopefully will make the wedding go smoothly!
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PAINTEDLADY35
9/25/06 9:39 P
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| we are keeping our guest count down to 60ish...any ideas on keeping it small?...this has been the hardest part of the planning so far for me...and i really need to finalze the guest list soon...
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| We are trying to keep our guest count between 100 and 120 tops
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MOTIVATION07
9/21/06 11:53 A
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We only have 114 on the guest list, many of which live 3 states away, and may not come.
Probably 100 tops.
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| Thanks Diane... I don't see the point in having young kids there. They usually end up running about, which isn't really appropriate.
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| We live in AZ but I am from NY and most of my fiance's family is out of state too. the first to be cut were out of state cousins that we are not very close to which is almost all of my cousins. we did not invite any second cousins at all which I have alot of.And we are not having any children under 10 at the reception at all not even our own, we are going to have them in the ceremony Then they are leaving and going to my parent's house where we will have a babysitter waiting.
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Thanks everyone... We have been through our list and have been able to cut it down.
Like I said before we did have alot of kids (like under 12) that we invited and counted because we still fed them. I know it's good etiquette but sometimes the rules do need to broken... Thanks for all of your advice!
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PALOUSEPONY13
9/13/06 7:15 P
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| I would run down your list of who was at the engagement party, see who you're still close with, and stick to that. The previous post is correct in terms of etiquette, but I was on a budget, and bent the rules. I'm sure you can do the same. However, I also had a 35% decline rate, and then some that RSVPed 'yes' didn't actually come to the wedding. Out of 78 invited, we had 49 in attendance.
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| I know you don't want to hear this but I think it's expected that when you invite someone to the engagement party that they will in turn be invited to the wedding. However, since it is 2 years later I think you have greater flexibility. Hope for a lot of declines!
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| ha ha ha... It's crazy hey... so different yet so similar!
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..Romania here LOL
but then, don't ask me how much the "normal" wage is here LOL it's abt 200$ (medium wage). just a reference me and my fiance earn abt 4 times more than that per week. otherwise we would have never gotten married and used our own money LOL
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WOW!! $40 per person...
It is costing us 3 times that much per person. It's so expensive getting married in Sydney.
I figure it is all worth it and we'll be married... Not much else matters.
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we didn't have any engagement party..i mean not a big one. it was us, our godparents and parents. our wedding guests list comprises abt 150 persons. his relatives have to come from like 500 miles and it's not going to be many of them.i don't have that many relatives either. a lot of the guests are our friends and co-workers. we started at 70 guests but expended the list as we discussed it. it costs us abt $40/person
as the previous poster said, it's good ettiquette to invite those who were at ur engagement. those who u haven't been speaking wt lately won't even confirm anyway.
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Thanks for that. I will check out that website. We did have a lot of kids at the engagement who won't be at the wedding so that makes a big difference... Our engagement party was over 1 year ago and some people we haven't seen since so it makes it hard... do you invite those people or not??
Thanks again for your response.
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CARR101010
9/7/06 11:48 A
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our wedding guest list started with 250 people. since then, we've found ways to cut people off and also to cut costs (2 main course choices instead of three, less hors d'oeurve choices, not all top shelf liquor served at the bar, etc.). I think if someone was invited to an engagement party, that it is good etiquette that they get invited the the wedding. i could be wrong, though. check www.theknot.com. they should have something on there about etiquette in this situation. good luck :)
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| At our engagement party my Fiance and I had almost 170 guests. We will have been engaged for almost 2 years when we get married which was why we had a big party cause it was a long engagement. Now to our wedding it is costing us $120 per head and we definitely don't want to invite the whole 170 guests, if you know what I mean... I figure that we need to look 5 years into the future and see who we will still be close with... Does anyone else have this problem??
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