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| Well, it looks like she will not be co-hosting the shower with you. That's too bad, but if she would rather spend her money in Orlando then on welcoming her new sister to the family, then so be it. It is too bad that she did not give you a firm "no" before you spent the money.
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CALIGIRL33
4/27/06 12:09 P
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Oh wow...I've always wondered what the relationships were like between brides and their future SILs when they asked them to be in the wedding...some brides indeed become good friends with their fiance's sister(s) thru the dating years, so I totally understand those. but when you aren't that close, how is it to have them in the wedding? Because clearly, this SIL doesn't care too much about the wedding and doesn't sound like a good friend to the bride at all. I guess I figured it was more out of respect for the groom and/or his wishes.
My fiance has 4 sisters and they're all very nice and accepting of me, but I doubt the thought of them being in the wedding ever crossed any of our minds.
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MRS_GRISSOM
4/27/06 7:58 A
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Thank you all for your replies!! As for the Mom, she is not involved at all. She is elderly and really doesn't know right from left, we are just hoping that SIL is considerate enough to bring her to the shower and wedding.
The bride is a bit aggrevated as well. SIL has no dress and has yet to even go look at them. I think she (the bride) feels as though she is stuck. She doesn't want an "uneven" wedding party and doesn't want to ask another person just to fill a spot which I can understand.
When she didn't bother before, I did not have her name on the shower invitations (I made them myself) Then when she did call I made 80 new invitations, printed cut and stuffed with SIL's name on them. I really almost want to go through the hassle of printing out a new set and cutting them just so her name is removed. Sad thing is, I have a feeling she isn't even going to show at the shower :(
I am sending the invitations next week (shower is June 10) I guess I will wait it out till then and see what happens.
Again Thanks everyone! :)
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Basically, yeah, the bride wants her in the wedding and there's not much you can do except vent. Which I always find useful. I think she's being a terrible attendant, rude, and just inconsiderate. Luckily it sounds like family members support your position and realize that she's being a less-than-ideal attendant.
Good luck, and feel free to keep venting if you need it!
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CALIGIRL33
4/27/06 7:16 A
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Unfortunately, since the bride wants her as an attendant and you have repeatedly tried to include her and let her know her responsibilities, I don't think there's anything else you can do. Hopefully her share of the shower won't be so much if it's split up between you and the rest of the bridal party. The whole situation sucks, but I guess it happens when you deal with slackers in a "group project" type thing sometimes. And even if she steps down or is removed from the bridesmaid position, you all will have to pay her share anyway. Don't let this frustrate you any longer. Just cut your losses ($$) now...you've given her the information, so if she comes through or not, you have no control over that. You've also let the bride know what's going on so she might want to ask the SIL to step down herself. Just focus on the bride and planning a wonderful shower with the other bridesmaids. It sounds like you're a great MOH and everything will work out great. 
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Does anyone know what to do? I think this is the reason for no replies! It's good that the groom is on your side. What about his mother? I would hope that she would give her daughter a kick in the pants to get her in gear! How old is she? Hopefully someone in the family can make this girl behave, but I don't have any ideas other than getting her mom involved.
Good luck... and keep us posted! I'm curious now!
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MRS_GRISSOM
4/26/06 4:35 P
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I am the Matron of Honor in my best friends wedding and am so excited. The wedding is this August and its creeping up so fast!! Anyway here is the low down, the bridal paryt consists of me, two friends and the future sister in law. The problem??? The future sister in law is totally blowing me off in more ways than I ever expected :( First she lives about 2 hours away and I can understand that she is busy etc. So the rest of us began the planning of the bridal shower in January. We called here asked if there was anything she wanted to add, any thoughts etc. OK SIL says she is coming up and wants to chat, we set a date and time and she never shows or calls. Weeks go by and we arrange another meeting again, never shows up or calls. Now at this point I have written her off and made the bride aware of this and both her an the groom said to do what I have to do.
Two months go by and I send SIL a letter with local bridal shops in her area that have the same color dress as the rest of the party as well as note concerning $$ for the shower. Verty politely told her the budget (Which was large due to the size of the shower, 80 guests all family) She quickly calls her brother and complains. I get a call from her within a couple of days saying that she is on her way to Disney World (for the 2nd time in 5 weeks) and would be coming up to pick up her mother and would be dropping her full share of $$ of to my house when she gets back. OK
She comes home, and I give her a ring the day before she is due to come up. SIL says she has the $$ and will be coming by in the am to drop it off. AM comes and guess what??? She never shows and never calls.
Now I am extremely frustrated. The rest of us already started shopping and I fronted her $$ as well as paying my own share. This am I left her a message on her cell phone as she would not answer and in a not so pleasant but not really to bad voice stated that I am extremely aggrevated with her not showing and calling 3 times now. That she now owes me money and that I expect her to call me back to make some sort of arrangments.
Within 10 minutes she was on the phone with her brother saying she didn't appreciate my message. Brother said it was her own fault for blowing me off and that she really ought to just beat it and drop out of the wedding since she can't even get herself a dress. Though somehow she is still in it an dhas yet to return my call.
Now I know this girl has problems with $$ but like I said she has gone to Disney 2 times in 5 weeks!!! What the heck do I do? The other girls are starting to get ticked off because now the have to carry her load $$ wise and it really is not fair to them or me.
Please Help!!!
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