Sounds like you've had quite a journey. I'm sorry there have been so many potholes in the road! I guess we all have some, to one extent or another.
I understand about being at home and having difficulty staying out of the kitchen. When I was laid off several years ago when the hospital I worked for went under due to poor management at a (distant) corporate level, I ended up having to find projects in my yard and the like to keep myself busy, a bit active, and away from the food. Fortunately, I've not had the rest of the stress you've experienced to add onto it.
Your son should certainly be congratulated for becoming a nurse. He won't have any difficulty finding a job! The health care system I work for now is always looking for good, dependable nurses, and it's a challenge, and I know that's the same all over the country.
I know that financially right now it might be difficult to do so, but if you can find a way to do so I'd see if there is any counseling that can help you find the best tools for you to deal with the feelings you have about the 'potholes' in your journey (ex-hubby, ex-boss, unemployment, weight). Finding good coping mechanisms that work for you may be just the answer to putting you in the best frame of mind to move forward to an even better job, and easier time dealing with food temptations. (I say that like I'm dealing great with mine - I'm not so much, but I know that this stuff works if you're ready to do it. I'm not in such a frustrated place as you appear to be, yet, and so am holding my own on that front for the time being.) Having support at SP, with your son, and through groups you may find locally to help you cope could be a good strategy, and you'll feel better for it. motivation is hard to come by in weight loss - at least for me. Given your current life situation, you may not want to add what you may percieve as stress in dieting, etc. On the other hand, the exercise that comes with this program may go a long way to getting you away from the temptations and burn off the stress better. Is your weather good enough to go for a walk for an hour or so (if you're up to doing that much right away)? Work up to it as the weather gets better. I've even done some solo dancing to my own loud stereo and 'jogging' in the house when it's been colder, but my challenge is not wanting to do those things when anyone else is home - which is most of the time. It does help me sleep, and cope with the stress I'm under right now at work (likely will have to lay off nearly 40 folks as the project I head winds down unexpectedly - and I could be one of them).
It sounds a bit naive, but I've found things generally happen for a 'reason', and I've generally been able to overcome and move on to better situations. My current one may be the exception, but I'm going to be optimistic that this, too, will work into something good.
The main thing is to have a purpose for every day, even if it's small, and to concentrate on the good things we have, not what we wish we had. It's the way that I can keep going, and try to rise to a higher level in my own deeds. Hang in!!
Lorri
RERESUNSHINE 4/25/07 4:02 P
Hi Lorri, Well I wrote out a huge reply here but it wouldn't go through, at least I don't think it did. Story of my life I guess. Thanks for your reply its nice to know that someone is listening! Yes I live in New York, but not in the city, I live right outside of Albany which is not very big to begin with. I live in a village actually, its called Green Island and is very quaint and nice. I have only lived in NY for 5 yrs now, originally from Massachusetts, God I miss the ocean! I grew up on it, swam in it, yes, I do still have it flowing through my veins, that will never leave I am sure. Well I joined this group mainly for weight loss but also to find a friend or friends to talk with about lifes little bumps and happy times too. I did lose over 100 lbs when I moved here, I was determind to lose all that weight. I was so depressed when I was married, I couldn't work(ex hubby didnt want me to work) I was in a trailer all day long. I had no car either and lived way out in the boonies. I hated it! I guess I stayed in the marriage cause I was scared to death of being alone. I had never been on my own before. But he found someone online and that was the end of that story...yes, it was devestating(I found a video of him chanting HER name and he was not clothed) so beleive me SHOCK is more than I can say here. So I left with little else but the clothes on my back and a few personal belongings. I moved in with my son, Matt who is 28 and my most blessed possession. We had a huge apartment and it was nice but I was so scared moving here. I had no job, no money, no car..and at my age, all alone too. Matt got me a job which was such a blessing. I started working and changed my attitude towards alot of things in my life. I was determined to make myself healthier. So I only ate when I was hungry and ate very small portions. The weight came off very steadily and I just kept it up til I came down to where I felt comfortable. Actually I came down the weight I was in high school! I am 5'9"tall so I am long legged. Most of my weight is right around the middle section. I felt really good once the weight came off and I have kept it off until recently. Losing my job has done a number on me both emotionally and weightwise. I sit here in front of this damn computer and feed my face! I try so hard not to do it, but I am also depressed over this. I worked so very hard for over all these years to get canned! Yes, I said canned. My boss told me it was because of "reorganization" ya sure it was. It was more like "the boss don't like you anymore, your not enough of a slave for him". Beleive me I worked my butt off for them and this is the thanks I get. I am such a people person, I do for everyone around me before I even think of myself and have always been this way. NOT gonna change me now! I have been searching daily online for jobs, have a ton of resumes out there too. All I get are sales jobs and minimum wage offers. At my age, I think I can be picky about what I want now. I refuse to accept a "McDonald's" type job here. I know something will come through for me, I just have to be patient. My son Matt is in nursing school and he has made this Mom soooo very proud! He is my only child so beleive me my heart overflows...unfortunately for me I could only have the one. Back in 1981 I nearly died. I had severe ulcerative colitis. Thank Heavens for my wonderful Dad, I had moved back to my parents home when Matt was only 2 and I was so sick. My Dad carried me into the ER and told them to "please help her, I think she is dying" lo and behold I was. Within a week my surgeon said I would be dead. I had lost nearly 60lbs in a month from being chained to the toilet. My body was so wasted from the illness that I required a month bedrest in the hospital before they could even think about surgery for me. That is how ill I really was. And where was my husband during all of this? HA! He was BUSY having an affair with my next door neighbor which is why I moved to my parents. This was my first husband, Matt's dad actually. We were only married for 4 yrs. So on top of all I was going through with my illness, I also had to deal with this, and it was not easy. Thank God, my parents were there for Matt. They cared for him all the time I was in the hospital and that ended up being three months. I had complications, 2 blood clots and a staph infection in my incision. Yes it was not easy. After I got myself back on my feet, I stayed with my parents for a bit, went through a very messy divorce and ended up living in the new home we had just bought prior to my hospitalization. I stayed alone for some years then met my second husband. We married after five years together, I for one, didn't want to get married! BOY SHOULD I HAVE LISTENED TO MYSELF! But no, people pleaser me said okay let's do it. It was not an easy marriage, he was an alcoholic and never there for me or Matt. That is when my weight gain began to balloon. I was at home, alone, no car, no money nothing. He had a minimum wage job and we barely got by with bills. So that is my story dear lady, I hope I didn't scare you off with all I have had here in my life. There's more too, but I didn't want to scare you half to death LOL! I do hope that we can keep chatting and become good friends. I really don't have anyone to talk with my age around here so it would be great! Maybe we can help each other out in some small way because I think that is why we are all here anyway!
Thanks again, Annmarie
PERFECTLYPINNED 4/25/07 1:12 P
Annmarie - I'm new, too. I've lost weight in the past, but only about 18 lbs, which was fine at the time. Now it's more like 30 (hormone changes seem to be havic). I haven't ended long term relationships before, and haven't (yet) lost employement recently (although I've been laid off twice before). It looks like strike 3 may be coming up, so I empathize with your situation there.
How long ago was your weight loss and are you trying to lose more, or just not gain it back?
I may or may not be a good 'pen pal' but will respond at least some! Don't lose hope. That seems to be the main message of this site, and I need that encouragement, too. At least NYC offers loads of new opportunities to explore new employment directions, and food options. I'm stuck in W. TX (due to the ongoing 30 yr marriage) with little to offer if things get worse at this job, and the food is mundane if I don't make it myself.
It's hard for me not to be an optomist and idealist, tho, so I know something will work out. A long time friend has recently been diagnosed with a terrible illness, so everyday that things are stressful, I just remind myself just how lucky I really am, all things considered!
Hang in!! - Lorri
RERESUNSHINE 4/25/07 8:17 A
Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Annmarie and I am a 53 yr old woman living in New York. I have dieted before and lost over 100lbs when I first moved here to NY from Ma. I am originally from Ma and moved here because of a 21 yr marriage ending. I guess that is the reason for my losing all that weight too! I had gotten to the point where I couldn't breathe walking up a flight of stairs! I don't want to go back there believe me. But now I am unemployed, sitting here in front of this computer and getting depressed. I am hoping to find new friends here, as I really don't have any friends around me here. Well if anyone wants to respond, please do, I have so much to say and talk about and would love to correspond...
