Hi, you sound very depress. Cheer-up you're doing good.Maybe if you don't think of losing weight. and just try to look at the good points you'll be able to forus on the things that are postive.Sometimes people don't think of things that make them happy. I know ,when I down I start to think of the hoildays,like CHRISTMAS! Then before I know it I begin to buy Christmas gifts. Let me tell you the buys in the stores are the best. You start early and before you know it all your Christmas shopping is done. So, I hope your day will be brighter.