  |
|
OLDREDROSIE
5/27/06 7:54 P
|
|
|
|
Hi all! I have two adult children living with me. One (my boy) is 20 and attending college. My daughter is 22 and attending the same college.
My daughter lived on her own for 2 years and talked us into moving up to where she was going to college! I love having her here. She is grown into a beautiful, smart, thoughtful young woman. She has a minor in music and is now working on her bachelor's in Special Education! She has had some health problems...and us living with her has proven to be a good thing, as she had to have two surgeries last semester. I want to grow up to be just like her!! LOL
My son (neat freak) is a little harder to live with...but a great kid! He is studying physics with an emphasis in engineering. I could not be prouder of him! He has decided to move out in June. I am thrilled for him and think it is the best thing for him at this point in his life. He knows he can come home at any time! Well.....maybe! As long as he is still in college and working towards his degree, he knows we will help him any way we can! In the mean time, I have plans for his room! LOL Finally...I have an exercise area!!! YAY
We really have not had to lay down the law...as they say. They know to let us know if they will be coming in late, and they know we expect them to be decent people..respectful...courteous...law abiding...and truthful. We have been really lucky so far! (knock on wood)
I have another daughter who chose to move out at 19. She is beautiful, talented, and is working towards her degree in animation! She can come home whenever she wants too!!
All of my children have their own jobs and know that they are expected to contribute towards their education. I think it makes them appreciate it more!
Well...thanks for letting me yack about how proud I am of my kids...sometimes we tend to forget the good things!
Some day I will be an empty nester....hey..that sounds really good!
|
|
|
|
| I have one son who is 22 years old and he lives at home. He has a mild form of autism which is called Asperger's syndrome. He has made a lot of progress over the years and is now attending a day program for young adults like him who are artistic. He's into writing sci-fi graphic novels.
|
|
MSMITHBRAD
5/22/06 8:45 P
|
|
|
|
| My 21 year old son just left home to live in an apartment with a friend two months ago. He still spends lots of time here however.
|
|
ELLENIRENE
5/21/06 5:39 A
|
|
|
|
| I have our youngest son, 21 living with us. He is no problem. He has a night job, so he sleeps during the day and goes to work at 4 pm. I do his laundry and occasionally he eats at home. Other than that, we have no problems, other than he loves grapes. So if I buy any, I need to get my share hidden before he finds them!!
|
|
REDHORSE22
5/19/06 3:04 P
|
|
|
|
Hi ladies,
I'm new here -- been lurking a bit but this is the first conversation I've felt like jumping in on. I too have an adult child living at home -- my 21-year-old daughter. She had a bit of a rocky start after high school and came home to regroup. In retrospect, if I had it to do over, I would not have insisted that she go off to college right away. She wasn't ready.
We had a lot of turmoil at the beginning, lots and LOTS of it. Late adolescent girl and perimenopausal mama. You can just imagine. But in the last year our relationship has gotten better and better and better as we learn to focus on the positives and expect happy outcomes and get real with each other about our feelings and needs. I learned where I was being way too harsh, and she learned where she was being way too...well...adolescent!
I'm happy to report that in general we have a lovely, harmonious home atmosphere now (with the occasional flare-up), and I am absolutely thrilled to be watching her grow into the beautiful young woman that I knew she would become. She takes care of our four pets, runs errands, keeps the house clean and tidy, and is in general a real bright spot in my day. I am looking foward to the time when she figures out where she wants to be next and gets herself into a position to be there, but I'm really enjoying having her around for right now. And I'm really proud of her for listening to herself and doing what she needed to do to grow up well. And yeah, it's mondo expensive to be supporting a grown child, but I know that it's her desire to become self-supporting and she'll do that in her own time and one of these days I'll be looking back at this time we had together and missing her like crazy!
|
|
TWOTONTILLY
5/16/06 4:15 P
|
|
|
|
| It is something that I had not planned on but i did teach him to respect his parents so when the utillities went up,so did his rent. When I had to start to clean his room,I charge him $50 amonth so I didn't become a crab. When I need anything I tell him. He does the yard and he lives his own life. I don't ask him his grown-up business and he gives us our privacy. That's how we did it.
|
|
CAMILLE1952
5/13/06 8:49 P
|
|
|
|
Well, Gail you sound like you have a very positive attitude because EBV does not sound like a lot of fun. I guess everyone has their cross to bear.
Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you.
Ladies--all your children sound very interesting. Good for all of you! I am very proud of my sons too. They have done well.
Camille
|
|
SUNSHINE521
5/13/06 8:15 P
|
|
|
|
AUNT BEE
Your family sounds very nice both my boys live very close in the next 2 cities from where I live. All my children don't have weight problems thank goodness they have the reverse effect. My younger son for as long as I can remember tried to eat all sorts of stuff to gain but no luck I always tell my kids they can have some of my weight gladly. I am very close to my daughter too she just turned 20 and we do so much together and I will truely miss her when she leaves home
Have great day 
|
|
AUNT_BEE_1945
5/13/06 3:10 P
|
|
|
|
Hello ladies, I have four adult children, my oldest is 41 she lives in California, and is a tug boat captian. She makes home made soaps and such for fun is very good quility soaps.
My Son is 36 married and lives in California works a an electriction. His wife is from Bombay India, she works in Real State sales.
My 22 year old is expecting a baby. She is my sweetheart, as is my younger daughter age 20 this month. She is my buddy. Both girls are working and progressing as young adults. Who would of thought, after going through their teenage years.
They all have to fight weight problems. They have been working at developing a healthy life style.
I am very proud of all my children.
Aunt Bee
|
|
SUNSHINE521
5/13/06 12:47 P
|
|
|
|
Years ago I had cervical cancer but thanks to the yearly pap's they found it and were able to take care of it now they want to make sure my DD comes in for a checkup to make sure she doesnt have it My DM had it and had to have a complete historectomy So far 8 years later no signs of cancer thank goodness
Oh CAMILLE being a grandma sure is different you can spoil them and send them home LOLI do know some of the things I wouldn't let my kids do I let my GD do yes we do spol them rotten
|
|
|
|
| EBV is Epstein-Barr Virus. It is mutated form of Mono that alters your DNA and never goes away. There are different kinds, but the kind I have makes me feel like I am coming down with the flu all the time. If I over do it completely zaps my energy, sometimes to the point that I can't get out of bed. As long as I rest when I need to, drink lots of water, don't over do or get stressed and am not around anyone who is contagious I do pretty well. It is an auto immune virus so my immune system is very low and if I'm around anyone contagious it zaps me. It's not always as awful as it sounds. I usually lay down around 6:00pm for the night and I do pretty well. :-)
|
|
CAMILLE1952
5/13/06 12:32 P
|
|
|
|
Hi Ladies: I can't wait to be a grandma either! I have had heard that it so different than having your own.
Gail --I'm out of the loop sometimes, what is EBV? I'm happy to hear your son's cancer was not serious. My son's fiance had thyroid cancer which I guess is pretty cureable. They check her every so often -- but so far so good! I worry though!
|
|
|
|
| Awe, that is so sweet and so cute! I can hardly wait. You are right, they will know. :-) They are only 19 & 20. They have plenty of time.
|
|
SUNSHINE521
5/13/06 12:12 P
|
|
|
|
I love being a grandma my 4 year old calls me every week and asks if she can spend the night with me she calls me Grammie and my DH pappie so every week we have almost 2 days to ourselfs I take her to the park we have 4 around here and she has named each one like the one thats a school playground she says it's grandmas palyground so cute
My younger son his wife is so self consious of her thin weight who knows if she will ever get pregnant but I am sure when she is ready she will do it
hey meeting a girl whole in the mmilitary isn't so bad I met my DH while my family was overseas my dad was in the army and so was my DH we got married in Italy and had a wonderful honeymoon all Europe Wait when the right girl will come along they will know it
|
|
|
|
I am ready to be a grandmother...I mean I am thinking about it. Neither of my boys even have girlfriends right now. Justin doesn't want to really date anyone until he is out of the Army. He doesn't feel that is fair to a relationship. Brandon is just so picky that he can't find anyone who meets his standards. I think a lot about what kind of Grandmother I will be. I plan to be the best. Do all of the Grandmother things without interfering with their lives. 
|
|
SUNSHINE521
5/13/06 11:31 A
|
|
|
|
Hi Tonya
I think my DD will have to show her boyfriend a thing or two about cleaning he is kind of sloppy I told her good luck lol.
My boys age 28 and 32 the oldest has my granddaughter and another one on the way also a girl she is due at the end of June. He is my clean freak but like I said now that my younger son has his own home he is super clean too. Both have very good jobs so I don't have to worry about them coming back home
I hope your son won't have to go to Iraq since he is in the military I am so glad my DH got out years ago.
Have great day
|
|
|
|
-Sunshine-
I was about to try to hook your daughter and my son until you said she had a boyfriend. :-) Brandon (my clean freak) will have to marry someone who wants everything clean! How old are your boys?
-Tonya- (Gaila)
|
|
SUNSHINE521
5/13/06 8:17 A
|
|
|
|
| I have a 20 year old daughter at home my 2 boys after college got married. She is very good at helping out she has a part time job and goes to college. We don't ask her for rent just obey our rules and all will be fine. She is a good kid helps me out all the time and has very good grades what more could I ask for. She also has a boyfriend and they have plans to marry after they are both out of college and I know I will miss her since we do alot of things together My 2 boys were like night and day one was super clean and the other a pigpen and I had to be after him all the time but his house is spotless now too.
|
|
|
|
-Camille-
As cancers go his was an easy one. :-) MS is tough. I know that must be hard. I have EBV so I know how frustrating it is not to be able to do all of the things you would like to do. I know it is different, but the frustration is probably simular. I have 2 sons as well. My other son is 19. He is in the Army. Congratulations on your weigh loss and good luck with the last 10-15.
|
|
CAMILLE1952
5/13/06 7:50 A
|
|
|
|
Gail: I'm sorry to hear that your son had cancer. It's probably good that he focuses on cleaning on the house! It took his mind of his troubles. My sons are products of an "Italian-American" household where mom does everything. My husband suffers from Multiple Sclerosis so he doesn't do much--but to be honest he didn't do much before he was diagnosed either!
Good luck on your weight loss. I've lost about 26 pounds -put a few back on and am struggling to lose another 10-15--it hasn't been easy!
Talk to you soon. Camille
|
|
|
|
-Camille-
Lol. I have been asked many times if I would rent him out. Since I have been helping with his bills it has been tempting a time or two. lol His "obsession" started when he was 16. He has cancer (he is fine now) and was on homebound school. He couldn't leave the house because of his immune system. A teacher came to the house every day. He didn't want her to see the house messy so every morning he would get up and clean the whole house, even sweeping and mopping the floors (we only have carpet in one room, the rest are hardwood, tile, etc.). He kind of became OCD about it. Ever since then if it is dirty (or he thinks it's dirty) he cleans it!
|
|
CAMILLE1952
5/12/06 8:09 P
|
|
|
|
Gail Would you send your son to my house! My two don't clean at all. I'm constantly picking up after them. My oldest moved in with his fiance last month as he's getting married in July. What a difference in laundry, the house --now if I can get the other one married off --it will be great!
Good luck in your weight loss journey!
Camille
|
|
|
|
| I have a son who will be 21 in October who still lives at home. He had a great paying job, but it was 50 miles away and had really long hours. He began having light seizures and had to stop working. That was in December. He was wanting to go back to school full time anyway. He has been subbing at local elementary schools and about 3 weeks ago he became a full time sub. It looks like he may have a permanant position next year. In the mean time we are having to cover his health insurance, etc. He and I get along very well (can't always say the same for he and his Dad). My main problem with him is he cleans the house too much! I know that doesn't sound like a problem, but when you have a 20 year old who cleans constantly...it starts to get to you...especially when you can't find your stuff.
|
|
|
|
| LOL we just can't make up our minds if we want them to live with us or not. You're doing okay girl.......granny
|
|
|
|
| okay, today i have to laugh at myself. my daughter told me last night that she plans on moving back on base this september. my first thought was "oh no, i am going to miss her so much when she is gone". i guess i like being driven a little crazy.
|
|
|
|
| Good for you. Stick to your guns. It is not your fault her husband is gone. It is not your fault that she has a baby and it is not your fault that she chose to live with you. I would say that it is "your way or the highway" Keep it up girlfriend......grannyb
|
|
|
|
well, my daughter and i sort of came to an understanding the other night. when she and the baby moved in and i asked her to pay rent, her answer was that she will clean house but she will not pay rent. (she is currently a stay at my home mom while hubby is in the army. she gets a housing allowance.) she has been moaning and groaning of getting no help with housework. she says the baby keeps her too busy to clean anything. most of the clutter and mess are hers and the baby. the other night i cooked supper and then she asked that i help with katie. i told bea several times what my schedule was and when i was leaving the house. as i started to leave, she got upset that the kitchen was not cleaned to her liking. her dishes from the day were out and i had left one bowl and pan in the sink to soak. i was already behind schedule. she got mad that i was leaving. i looked at her, one hand on the door and just very plainly said, it was your idea to clean house rather than pay rent. i don't want to hear you complain about again. as i walked out the door she said she could move on her own. for the first time i told her that she needed to do what she needed to do. the next morning she huffed and puffed. last night when i went to bed early and cleaned nothing, she said nothing and this morning the place was neat and clean and she was just as cheery as could be.
p.s. don't expect it to last, but i will enjoy it for now.
|
|
|
|
| I guess I've been fortunate that when my kids lived at home, they were not too bad considering all that they could of been. I guess deep down, I didn't want them to move out because then I had to face reality and realize that my marriage was going to end and as long as they were home, he was content to keep me the way I was. It wasn't until they moved out (with the exception of my youngest) did I get the courage to finally end the bad marriage and I tell you, if I had known how great life would be afterwards, I would of pushed the kids out the door the day they all turned 18...LOL
|
|
CAREBEARGRANNIE
2/1/06 10:52 A
|
|
|
|
how nice to have a thread to which I can relate
My youngest child a daughter in her twenties moved in with me in Oct. she has many problems and does not accept boundries/ this is my apt, not the family home. I am trying really hard. can't wait till she moves out
|
|
CAMILLE1952
1/31/06 6:16 P
|
|
|
|
| I hear ya Granny! And I don't think the economy is going to get any better!
|
|
|
|
| I have been reading all your posts about adult children at home and I have to say that I agree with all of you. I always told my kids that after they moved out, they could come home once and that was it as they needed to stand on their own two feet. My oldest moved out at age 18 and was gone about 4 months when he decided that he could not make it and he moved back. Before he came home we discussed what the rules would be and that he would have to follow them as this was our home and not a motel. Well he lasted 6 weeks before he moved out again as the rules just did not interest him. LOL. My youngest moved out after college and so far has never moved back. However, our oldest, who is 34 now was in drug rehab for meth abuse and broke both his arms this past April and had to move back home. So much for just one time. LOL He is getting better, graduated from his drug program, working full time and now saving for a place of his own. But it has not been an easy trip. I miss my privacy and he needs his. We have just learned to talk about things when we have to. Take it one day at a time is my advice. And as far as the cost, yes it is expensive for them to live on their own. It was expensive for us too. Wages weren't the same back then and the cost of living hurt us to. They have to learn they cannot have everything right off the bat. It takes time to work for these things............grannyb
|
|
|
|
