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stomach MUST go!

A Guide to Posting in Your SparkTeam Forum

  FORUM:   Belly Laughs - The Lighter Side
TOPIC:   When Are You Due? 


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DATMAMA4
DATMAMA4's Photo SparkPoints: (29,512)
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6/5/12 7:27 P

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Still laughing at KASSIOPEIA's comebacks. "Due to kick you in the balls" is my all-time favorite!

I've had an uncle actually argue with me that I was pregnant when I was not. That was bad, since it was at Thanksgiving dinner in front of witnesses.

A rude man (a stranger) asked me once (when I was not pregnant) and I was in kind of a snarky mood that day and replied, "No, do you have a toupee?" before I could even stop myself.

Another time a man patted my non-pregnant belly and asked when I was due. I told him I was due at the same time he was due to deliver his quarter-keg (as I patted his ample beer belly).

I have also replied, "No, are you?" to women, played dumb and asked, "Due for what?", replied, "Nope, just fat -- but thanks for the ego boost!" among other things.

Now that I'm obviously over 40, that has stopped. But now people ask my 11yo daughter if she's having a fun day out with her grandmother (my hair is grey and it doesn't bother me). THAT actually irritates me more than the pregnancy faux pas.


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MOMOF4FATNOMORE
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2/3/12 3:06 P

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Oh my gosh, KASSIOPEIA I am laughing my butt off at your replies!! SO funny! I get asked this question pretty often, I hate it, but I know I look pregnant so I just say that I just had a baby ... their next question is "oh, when?!" that's when I turn red from embarrassment and say ... "um, about a year ago."

Workin it,
Christina


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VON728
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4/21/11 11:43 P

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I'm 50 years old... they stop asking...LOL

Be careful what u wish for... It just might come true!


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RUBYGIRL62385
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1/17/11 2:49 P

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Let me start by saying I have been the same measurements since I was 17 now 25. In 2008 my mom bought me one of the shirts that are tight around the bust and kind of flow out around the stomach because I have a belly. We went to Circus Circus that spring with my Niece who was 5 at the time. While wearing that shirt my neice and I went to go on a ride that was posted "DO NOT RIDE IF PREGNANT." Obviously I was not pregnant... get up to the front of the line and the attendant looks me straight in the eye and informs me "I am going to have to ask you and your daughter to exit through this gate." My niece is now standing there crying knowing at this point she might not be able to ride. I asked him why I could not ride. He said, "The drop into the water could cause problems with your fetus and possibly cause premature Labor." I looked him straight in the face and said first off this is my Niece, Second off i am not and never have been pregnant, Third I would like to speak to the person over you for this embarrasment you have caused me. 15 minutes later I had year long passes to Circus Circus and Free Meals. Lets just say the wrong person assumed something at the wrong time. Thank goodness we lived 1 mile from the Las Vegas Strip!

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LKISINSATIABLE
LKISINSATIABLE's Photo Posts: 381
11/3/10 2:24 P

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I am so glad it's not just me! I love your comebacks. I wish I were strong/brave enough to retort, but usually I just give a feeble smile and tell them I'm not pregnant, then slump my shoulders and find a corner to hide in and cry. Strangely, this always happens to me multiple times the same time of year and when I've just started to see results and feel good about myself. My friends try to be nice and say it's because the rest of me is fairly toned, but my face and belly are not. I call a spade a spade and acknowledge that my figure is dinner-friendly!

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
~Aristotle


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ANHHUGHE
ANHHUGHE's Photo Posts: 88
9/6/10 2:04 P

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Ugh I hate being asked that but i get it a lot b/c I have the belly but the rest of me is fairly thin. I just tell the truth and say I just haven't lost the weight from the first one.



TIPYRAIN
TIPYRAIN's Photo Posts: 7,376
8/26/10 12:40 A

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LMAO!!!emoticonemoticon

APRIL 26th 2010,GOAL= 125-122 got to 126.

Jan 1st 2011 = 133
July 31st = 122.8
Aug. 1st = 122.4
Sept. 2nd = 121.6
Oct.1st = 126.8
Nov.17th = 125
Dec.23 = 133
Jan 1st 2012 = 131
February 1 = 127.6
March 1 = 132.4
May 28th 2013=139.6
June 28th 2013=136.1


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KASSIOPEIA
KASSIOPEIA's Photo Posts: 150
8/25/10 4:07 P

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"I'm due to kick you in the balls any minute"

"It's actually just a food-baby"

"I'm due March 12th...1993"




Slow and steady wins the race!

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REDHATLADY9
REDHATLADY9's Photo Posts: 1,911
8/2/10 3:27 P

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I have not had that question put to me.



LEPA!!
LEPA!!'s Photo Posts: 655
7/9/10 3:02 P

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how about this ladies.....earlier this year i thought I WAS PREGNANT myself... it turns out i was just eating the wrong foods and got really bloated and sick.. i looked pregnant. how sad is that?! i even got an ultrasound.... (i was having irregular periods as well..so it's not that silly...wait, yes it is!) ugh!

so, i'm glad i kicked it into gear again.

emoticon

you may say that i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one. jlennon.


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CEE_DUNCAN
CEE_DUNCAN's Photo Posts: 2,962
6/26/10 11:12 P

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It hasn't happened to me, but I've slipped, DH has slipped, and it's the one of the most "foot in the mouth" moments that can never be forgotten. emoticon

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SMARTLOSER
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6/1/10 5:33 P

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I've never had that happen to me, but I imagine if it did, I would say something along the lines of, "Not for at least five years."

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

"If you would create something, you must be something." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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TIPYRAIN
TIPYRAIN's Photo Posts: 7,376
5/14/10 2:26 P

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OMG!!! I thought that only happened to me!!! I was in the hospital dying from liver failure and A MAN said :You better not drop that baby out on the floor" I was mortified even as sick as I was. I replied "I'm not pregnant, I'm dying stupid!!!" I thought he just might keel over himself. IDIOT!!! I can't have kids so I usually reply with that and it makes people feel REALLY bad and I'm glad!!! I'm healthy again. But. I'm VERY small chested so my belly looks bigger than it would if I was more endowed! The scare tissue doen't help my plight either.

Edited by: TIPYRAIN at: 5/14/2010 (14:28)
APRIL 26th 2010,GOAL= 125-122 got to 126.

Jan 1st 2011 = 133
July 31st = 122.8
Aug. 1st = 122.4
Sept. 2nd = 121.6
Oct.1st = 126.8
Nov.17th = 125
Dec.23 = 133
Jan 1st 2012 = 131
February 1 = 127.6
March 1 = 132.4
May 28th 2013=139.6
June 28th 2013=136.1


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SOCALIMOMMY
Posts: 5
4/17/10 12:22 P

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I had my father in law ask my husband that a year ago around my birthday,i usually try and suck my stomache in and wasnt.

I also overheard my mother in law at christmas time ask my husband if she was gonna be a grandma again soon.




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JOKNOWS
JOKNOWS's Photo Posts: 4,340
2/26/10 3:45 P

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I've been asked that a few times. I just say, I'm not pregnant. Not in any tone or anything, just kinda with a feeble smile. And of course the person who asks is usually very embarrassed and apologizes profusely. I usually just try to ease their embarrasment by saying that I'm flattered they think I'm still young enough to be pregnant.

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JOELSP
Posts: 295
2/14/10 4:33 P

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I'm due June 23rd.


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SINOPA
SINOPA's Photo Posts: 505
1/15/10 5:38 A

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I have never been asked that. I guess they all know I am just fat. Oh.....my.....I got to do something about this!!


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QUEENBEE65
QUEENBEE65's Photo Posts: 49
12/5/09 6:54 P

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About 10 years ago when I was at my heaviest a little girl I was working with asked, 'are you going to have a baby?' I replied half jokingly, 'no, I'm just fat.' It made me "name it and claim it" and I've never been that big again.emoticon

Edited by: QUEENBEE65 at: 12/5/2009 (18:57)
Forget the latest fad diets, pills, and hoopla that the media feeds us. It's REAL simple....

EAT LESS & MOVE MORE!


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NESSA11485
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12/3/09 12:46 A

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One of my students asked me if I was pregnant the other day, I just simply said no.

Then she replied "Oh well it looked like you were yesterday"

I just about died.


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LITTLEFREEZE
LITTLEFREEZE's Photo Posts: 114
9/13/09 9:37 A

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Sometimes my students - I teach in Japan - will touch my stomach and say, "Baby?" Which confuses me because my stomach is actually getting smaller and isn't that big really.

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ANGELSPARKLES
ANGELSPARKLES's Photo Posts: 29
9/11/09 9:19 P

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OMG, first time was in 10th grade I got asked this by another classmate, I replied Christmas I'm the next virgin mary. And I wasn't even that heavy just huge boobs. Then after I had my daughter and was still working off the 60 plus lbs I gained with her, my dad came up for a visit took one look at me and said dont you think its a little soon. I said soon for what he said another baby I said what? He felt sooo bad. But I haven't been asked this since except when I was pregnant and I think if someone were to ask me I'd be downright POed and with my sarcasm liable to get fired if it was at work.


Slow progress is better than no progress- Angel Wise, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me- Phillipans 4:13


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PARIS-2009
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9/4/09 11:12 P

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I've never had someone come out and directly ask me if i was pregnant, I dont know what i would do if someone did. Though when i was 13 (I weighed about 120 so not that much) my family and I was shopping in walmart. My older cousin had just found out she was having a baby so of course I am so excited and i was allowed to pick out some toys for the baby to send to her. This walmart associate comes up to me and shes looking at me oddly and asks if I need any help, the whole time she is staring at my stomach with a frown. I was so upset because i was only 13 and i was really sensitive about my looks. I know she never really said are you pregnant but i could kind of figure it out.

I think a lot of peoples judgements are wrong and they just dont think before they say something. This happened a few months ago.

Im only 19 years old but a lot of people say i look about 16. I was working at Subway and they have a table outside, a bunch of children without any adults were sitting around it they couldnt have been younger than 8 and this old lady comes up to me and asks me if they were my children outside. I felt like saying how old do you think i am!


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ANDIHALLI
ANDIHALLI's Photo Posts: 1,691
8/17/09 10:07 P

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For me, I was at a grocery store and I was standing in line when a teenager swore and her mother looked back at me and said "Honey, not in front of the baby" and she look at my stomach.
In my head I was like "She best not be talking to me"
LOL. I turned around and looked behind me and I was the only one left in line. I didn't say anything but man did that spark me into doing something about my weight!

Leader of the Nickelback Fan Team and Co-Leader of the Doctor Who and Torchwood Fan Team.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.
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ELISAROBERTS
ELISAROBERTS's Photo Posts: 30
8/12/09 9:12 P

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My friend's mom hadn't seen me in a couple of years, since I gained the weight. She asked when I was due. I replied "I'm not" and blushed. English is her second language, so I heard her ask my friend a question in Chinese and then she became very embarrassed and made me a cup of tea.

The gut has got to go!!!


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BAILEYS7OF9
BAILEYS7OF9's Photo SparkPoints: (116,383)
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7/22/09 1:36 P

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emoticon emoticon to the Team! Oh my.. that flight attendant was wrong.. insult to injury!






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STFR33
STFR33's Photo Posts: 6
7/20/09 7:38 P

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Oh my goodness, this question. The first time it happened to me, I was mortified! The man at the gas station kept insisting that I miss understood him. I kept saying no and he kept insisting that I was in fact pregnant and perhaps I was just joking. So embarrassing!

Another time I was also almost kicked out of an emergency exit aisle. The male attendant kept bringing me snacks as some kind of peace offering. Hello, not helping!! That time I got to be embarrassed for 4 straight hours. Total UGH!

This belly has GOT to go! emoticon


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KLS777
KLS777's Photo Posts: 1,249
7/9/09 7:01 A

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Oh my, since I have lost all this weight, 24 kg still got 5 kg to go, I have had 4 kids, it's all sitting on my abs I am sure, people keep asking me if we are having any more, it actually looks like I am about 4 months preggo, so I guess I can't really blame them! That's why I joined this team!

“It is not the length of life, but the depth of life.”

“There are only two options regarding commitment. You’re either IN or you’re OUT. There’s no such thing as life in-between.”

“The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults"


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JENCAMERON
JENCAMERON's Photo Posts: 25
7/8/09 9:50 A

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Haha that shhh it's not his comment made me laugh, love it!
I've never had someone ask me but i did have a horrible experience on a train once... I was wearing one of those tent shirts, that I loved and had bought on vacation and I was on a crowded subway train on my way home. Out of nowhere this woman stands up and starts trying to get me to sit, I was so confused, then i looked down and saw the poof of my tent shirt and realized what was going on. I politely declined but the other passengers had caught on and one by one they all went down like dominos and started to offer me a seat while I refused everytime and wondered if it would be too obvious if I ran off the train at the next stop.

I bought that shirt on vacation and i used to love it...... I can't look at it anymore without thinking of that awful moment.


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XXCOLTZFANXX
XXCOLTZFANXX's Photo Posts: 394
7/2/09 8:16 P

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I cry break right down and ball my eyes out like a little kid. Thing is this has happened a few times no matter how big I was. Now I dont cry very much if ever but when I do its always about weight or body image and this has got to be one of the most hurtful things a person can say. I know they must mean well or want you to be happy or somthing that posseses them to come over when sometimes they dont even know you (me) and make yah feel like its all for nothing.


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WHEREISMYMIND
WHEREISMYMIND's Photo Posts: 46
6/18/09 9:11 A

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For some reason, I've heard this question a lot. At least five times! My sister has tried to console me by telling me it's because I have such skinny legs and arms that people assume I must be preggo. Thanks sis!


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BAILEYS7OF9
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6/15/09 11:38 A

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Good for you Pam!!!! I love it!!

emoticon





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BUDBABE10
BUDBABE10's Photo Posts: 8,980
6/12/09 10:39 A

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Luckily, it has been MANY years since I've heard this question, but I did hear it once. My daughter was around 10 yrs old & I had some idiot ask me "r u pregnant again?" His buddy next to him whacked him hard & said "SHHHH, no she's not!"
I just had to smile. I patted his beer belly, smiled & said, "well, looks like u will be ready to POP b4 I do" and turned around & walked away. emoticon
He has a whole new respect for me now & has been very kind & friendly since then!

*~*PAM*~*

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SHANATAV
SHANATAV's Photo Posts: 276
5/30/09 9:17 P

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LOL I joined this group moments ago because I saw this thread! I've only been asked that question a couple of times... both, I kind of looked at the idiot, confused, and said, "I don't know... when are YOU due?"

emoticon

Shoshana March 2012 Shamrocks BSG!!!!
April 2012 Tulips BSG


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LUISA-M
LUISA-M's Photo Posts: 634
5/29/09 6:50 P

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so it's been more than 10 yrs since i seen this girl from high school, she works at local grocery store, she went up to me and touched my stomach and said " oo how many months." I said non I'm fat that's all know when she sees me she smiles with guilt. ha like I feel better about seeing the girl that said I'm big. letting frustration out sorry

You don't get what you want. You get what you work for.


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BAILEYS7OF9
BAILEYS7OF9's Photo SparkPoints: (116,383)
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5/28/09 4:59 P

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"Shhhh, it's not his" OMG thank you for the laugh!!!

I have not had this question asked to me, but boy I asked myself today, how odd....







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PHOENIX1023
PHOENIX1023's Photo Posts: 76
5/27/09 12:48 P

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this has to be one of the worst feelings, looking in the mirror and looking pregnant even though your not! My best friend is getting married in a few weeks and last time I re-tried on my gown to make sure it still fit right, I could have sworn I was pregnant!


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HEATHERMAC17
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5/25/09 10:13 P

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haha, this is exactly why i am back on the spark-train!

my abdomen pooches out like a pregnancy--especially since i am short...

i have been asked this, but thankfully only once. I refrain from wearing anything that is high waist, empire waist, or "waist defining" that is right under my boobs. my tummy sticks out quite round and i very pregnant!

anyway-yeah it sucks

Blessed Be


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GEMINIGEM
GEMINIGEM's Photo Posts: 287
5/21/09 1:59 P

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I'm glad some think I'm pregnant, because I'm not left standing on the bus or train. These are the times I don't bother to correct. lol.

I'd rather measure 10 times and cut once, than to measure once and cut 10 times
----------------------------
Go Orange!


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ONELOVEJENN
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5/13/09 10:00 A

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This has happened to me more than once. Every time it hurts my feelings more that I care to admit. Usually I go along with it, and just give them a due date. It seems more humiliating to say that you are just fluffy!!

Jenn

Self-Esteem comes from overcoming obstacles and achieving goals.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx




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HIBBLER22
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5/10/09 9:09 P

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IVE BEEN ASKED THAT A FEW TIMES, AND YES IT DOES HURT! I ALWAYS SAY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEN THEY LOOK ALL DUMB IN THE FACE AND SAY OH I JUST ASSUMED YOU WERE PREGNANT. THEN I SAY YOU KNOW WHAT IF YOU DONT HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY DONT OPEN YOUR MOUTH!


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BELLO06
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4/27/09 1:25 P

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I have been ask this question several time and it hurt my feelings but, I had gained a bunch of weight and I did look knocked up besides.


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ALICIAZ82
ALICIAZ82's Photo Posts: 41
4/25/09 6:41 P

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i never was asked this question till i was 7 months pregnant with both my pregnancys but ive kind of always been a bit heavy. im at my heaviest now but i dont get asked .lol


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MS-CEE
MS-CEE's Photo Posts: 3,505
3/31/09 4:04 P

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It hasn't happened and if it did, it would surely hurt my feelings! I wouldn't know how to play it off!


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Never, never, never give up.

You are much too important.


LIZZY781
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3/31/09 3:46 P

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lol, no one as ever asked me that question but honestly I have thought it about myself and others.


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YOGINIMAMA108
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3/29/09 3:58 P

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I was never asked this until I had my daughter, now I have been asked three times. It always happens on the days when I am feeling good about myself too!emoticon

"The only journey is the journey within".
Rainer Maria Rilke

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."
- Michael Pollan


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ALLCANBEDONE
ALLCANBEDONE's Photo Posts: 18
3/2/09 5:07 A

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omg i use to get this so much.
i went on the cabbage soup diet and it made me bloat so bad so thats when i got it the most. the only thing i can really say is im no im just fat. makes ppl feel like poop about askin. i once had a guy argue with me about it. i was like im just fat. hes like " oh know you must be pregnant" im like jeez buddy id no if i was pregnant. my boss even asked me on the first day of the job. it was ok tho i worked alone on the over night shift so i could cry and no one was there to witness it hahaha.


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TJSBUSYMOM
Posts: 39
2/15/09 9:24 A

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I'll admit the first few times i've run to a corner and cried and then hid under big bulky clothes for weeks! This time, I'm still hiding under clothes but not in shame but for purpose. Instead of crying I'm motivated to work IT off! I'm now looking forward to summer when the bulky clothes come off and the big bathing suit "reveal". The biggest thing on my body will be my SMILE!


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PHATAV8R
PHATAV8R's Photo Posts: 78
1/26/09 8:44 P

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I live in China. It isn't like it hasn't happened before, but I usually will get a massage when I am traveling. I am laying there on the table when the masseuse girl comes in. I hear her kind of giggle, then she walks over, pats my big super buddah belly and says, "When are you due, how many months are you?". (note: Chinese people are kind of blunt and really don't get that this is a social faux pas)

I give her my canned phrase, "another 9 months", she says "triplets?", I say "no, I am having a baby elephant!"

This thing really has to go. My motivating thought is that at my current weight, I basically carry TWO full 5 gallon water bottles around every second of every day, up stairs, down stairs, everywhere.

I am tired of carrying them around, this belly has to go!

Edited by: PHATAV8R at: 1/26/2009 (20:46)
"Any fool with fast hands can grab a tiger by the balls, but it takes a hero to keep on squeezing!"

SW = 02-01-09 = 341.6# (Dec 31, 2011 353.1#)

CW = 8-15-12 = 298.4#



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MRSPEAY11
MRSPEAY11's Photo Posts: 66
1/22/09 9:09 A

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I think I had one of the worst experiences. I was on an elevator when this woman looks over and says, "Twins?". I was so embarrassed! Thank God no one else was on the elevator with us.


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LYNDAA2009
LYNDAA2009's Photo Posts: 39
1/21/09 1:57 P

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I was asked that question at church one time during coffee hour. I leaned over and whispered "Shhhh, it's not his", well, you should have heard the rumors start. I still get a giggle, however DH wasn't impressed when he heard. He's military and was away when I "conceived". Ooops

emoticon


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LADYBYG
Posts: 611
1/18/09 11:18 P

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I have always hated that when people come up and ask that question. I usually say something like I had my baby 15 years ago.

BLC T EAM GOLD
BSS TEAM TONING TULIPS


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MYGEORGE
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1/18/09 12:01 P

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A lady that we know asked my husband when I was due. He thought it was funny. Me, on the other hand, did not see the funny at all. I did tell him that that was something you never asked someone unless you knew for sure that they were pregnant. I do like the "due for what" response. I no longer look pregnant and that is a great plus.

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.


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FATCATTN
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1/18/09 3:21 A

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I've had this happen several times. It didn't matter what my weight was either. It always hurts my feelings and makes me mad - at myself (when I'm overweight) and at the ignorance of others. We can't all have board flat stomachs.

My favorite is, "Due for what?" like I was confused and waited for their reply. I've simply said, "I'm not" in annoyance and watched them squirm and back peddle.

The other question, "Are you pregnant" I've had fun with as well. Once I said, "No, are you?", shut that lady up real quick! ha! She didn't have any room to be asking. My husband almost died because I said it to a customer in our business. I said she won't make that mistake again with anyone else!!!
"No, I'm just fat" is my most common response to that one.

Missy
Stomach MUST Go! & SP Class of March 18-24, 2007 Co-Leader
Naturally Thin Leader

"Most people seek happiness when happiness is actually a choice."

"Food is not an option - find another way to cope."

"If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution"

"There ain't much fun in medicine, but there's a heck of a lot of medicine in fun." - Josh Billings, 19th Century Humorist

"There is power and courage inside each one of us, waiting for a


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FATCATTN
FATCATTN's Photo SparkPoints: (11,054)
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1/18/09 3:11 A

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In reading one of the new members intro it gave me the idea to post this thread. What do you do/say when someone asks the dreaded question, "When are you due?"

Missy
Stomach MUST Go! & SP Class of March 18-24, 2007 Co-Leader
Naturally Thin Leader

"Most people seek happiness when happiness is actually a choice."

"Food is not an option - find another way to cope."

"If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution"

"There ain't much fun in medicine, but there's a heck of a lot of medicine in fun." - Josh Billings, 19th Century Humorist

"There is power and courage inside each one of us, waiting for a


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