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THE13THSEEKER's Photo THE13THSEEKER SparkPoints: (14,348)
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8/11/12 8:19 A

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Its a relief to know I am not the only one who went through a breakup and started on the journey to being fit.

I broke up with my ex when I found he was cheating on me with my flat mate. SHE (and not him) abused me saying I was fat and can never get thin. Now that I am healthy, that B***H cannot even meet my eyes.

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PLUTONIANGIRLNJ's Photo PLUTONIANGIRLNJ SparkPoints: (10,864)
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8/2/12 11:52 P

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I just want to feel like a whole person without a man for ONCE. Every time I go through a break up, I turn into this emotional disaster zone until some other guy comes along. I constantly feel rejected, even when I don't really want to be with that guy. I don't understand myself.

I also feel like all the guys I date always find another woman immediately after we break up. And I just can't handle it. Am I that easy to replace? I'm scared if I find out that my most recent ex is seeing someone else, that I will have a complete meltdown. UGH.

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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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6/23/12 9:11 P

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DOWN -2.1 LBS TODAY AT OFFICIAL WEIGH-IN.

GOT NEW SWIMSUIT, RIGHT AWAY WENT SWIMMING AT OUTDOOR POOL,

WALKED AT LEAST 30 MIN,

OVERATE BY 251 CALORIES

Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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6/22/12 11:36 P

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now i get this team! it's like: just not that into you.

hey, my health is going to the dogs.

i did walk 30 mins. today, ate under 1500 calorie and tracked it all in SP.
i hope i register a loss tomorrow, weigh-in day! it's iffy.

my blood pressure today was 155/95, upset about that.
have to lose all my excess weight just to normalize my BP


emoticon

Regards from annrose126,
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GOODSTART08's Photo GOODSTART08 Posts: 242
5/25/12 9:22 P

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Hey everyone.

I just joined this team and it seems like it was made for me! I am still struggling after a recent break up 6 months ago. He was distant and lacked emotion towards me. Whenever I was upset he would tell me I was just being a girl. I ended the relationship, it just didnt feel right anymore, but I have been struggling with the decision for months. By the end of our relationship he was agreeing with me that I could "tighten" my body. It upsets me just thinking that he said that when he wasnt small himself. I am working on getting fit for myself this time and to maybe meet a better man in the future. All the best to you!

Lisa

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France


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RAE_LEIGH22's Photo RAE_LEIGH22 SparkPoints: (9,321)
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5/23/12 6:50 P

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He didn't break my heart, I just wanted him to go away. He was abusive in many ways and I couldn't take it any longer. It was like we were just hanging on to the first wonderful four months, hoping it would go back to the way it was. I want to add him on facebook when I'm skinny to show him what he's missing. However, I think about him EVERY SINGLE DAY.

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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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5/18/12 11:48 P

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just venting,
whoa, an ex-acquaintance-with-benefits, from many years ago from an earlier life of mine, was on tv last night and i felt nada. i realized what an ignorant, cold fish he always was to me, and he never changed and i couldn't care less. most people in my life are like him. cold and stupid.

except for my most recent friend-with-benefits. he was different and lovely, but he is gone, gone, gone. actually he also interacted with me abusively, but there were extenuating circumstances, i suppose. but the upshot is i don't even know if have an ?ex or not. what with the age of modern travel we are in, relationships have a potential to hit unexpected, unheard of lows, as far as i can see.

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 5/29/2012 (13:56)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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MRSSILK's Photo MRSSILK SparkPoints: (455)
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4/20/12 9:41 A

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wow first off YAY!! for this team this is awesome

like someone else said...their on their best behavior till you marry them....im 26 been married 2 yrs....lol...the first 3 months was a dream come true after that he stopped taking me out we watch movies on seperate tvs we now have a 6 month old son he sleeps on the couch hasnt made love to me since i got prego i sometimes find him chatting online and oh boy does facebook mess my mind up i keep telling myself its OVER relize he dosent love you anymore boy this is one of the hardest things ive been through to not be divorced not REALLY be married and not be getting emotional or physical needs met.....BUT GUESS WHAT??? im getting the body i always wanted im going to start college in the summer and im saving to buy a car so when it finally does come to the end of the road ill be thin educated and FREE from the NEGATIVE...thanks for listening i feel stronger and more confident already

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ARIESGURL's Photo ARIESGURL SparkPoints: (20,656)
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3/26/12 1:47 P

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The guy who broke my heart texted me last week saying that he wanted to be friends. my response was you never treated me like a friend before so why now. i couldnt look him in the face. i didnt want to touch him i just felt this insame numbness that was just over the crap we put ourselves in. and a few days later i see his girlfriend is still in the picture. i guess i forgot to mention that he is my next door neighbor. i really still dislike him i guess after what he did. he treated me like crap no matter what i did for him and then all of a sudden he decides to commit to someone else. he didnt even tell me i had to find out on my own

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KMMITCHELL4's Photo KMMITCHELL4 SparkPoints: (1,286)
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3/25/12 12:02 P

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My ex told everyone that we were never really dating and that he was just using me for sex. Meanwhile he told me about 10 times a day that he loved me so much and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Who knows what the truth really was. But he's now seeing (and by that I mean, most likely sleeping with) a 17 year old that works for him (he's 22. Kind of illegal...). On days when I'm really mad about him, I think about calling up the vp of operations for the company he works for (I use to work there too, and the guy LOVES me) and telling him that he made moves on me before I quit and is now using this girl. But no matter how much of an asshole he is, I can't bring myself to be that mean.... DAMN HIM! He would do it without even thinking. Being a good person is so hard sometimes.

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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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2/5/12 1:36 P

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:51)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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2/4/12 10:38 A

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:49)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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2/3/12 12:01 A

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:48)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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1/22/12 9:13 P

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:47)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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1/19/12 10:53 P

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:46)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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1/19/12 10:44 P

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:45)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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1/18/12 10:47 P

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hi

Edited by: ANNROSE126 at: 2/7/2012 (22:44)
Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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NYCGATOR SparkPoints: (765)
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7/5/11 11:11 P

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I just wanted to say that I feel for everyone that has shared their personal story because I've been there. Just recently the guy that told me he loved me and filled my head with fairytale like promises has disappeared, no contact at all. I call and text because like an idiot I was so worried about him, but I just had to realize he was stringing me along and never meant to keep his word. I know it's hard but channel the energy that you put into the guy into yourself. Let it be a time of healing through getting healthier, and even reading books that help with this kind of thing. That's how I'm going about it...hope everyone feels better soon, remember it's their loss.

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7/3/11 12:31 P

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just broke up w my boyfriend- everything was PERFECT, we were planning a vacation, blah blah. he had a super busy week at work so i gave him space, and then he disappeared. i went to visit him at work and he was a dick to me, i told him this wasnt really working but that i wanted to talk about it, and he disappeared for good. one of the weirdest/most unexpected endings to a relationship ive ever experienced...

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HUNGOVEROWL SparkPoints: (0)
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6/26/11 4:12 P

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To monstergirl10

ugg, that sounds awful! i guess all we can do is look super hot.. and not let them have any of it. not a lot of the guys i know "get" how they have hurt me, but they can see what they are missing... and they seem to "get" that.

Edited by: HUNGOVEROWL at: 6/26/2011 (16:12)
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6/26/11 4:06 P

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i was dating this guy, and he made me feel amazing. he said he didn't want a relationship, and i wasn't sure what i wanted because he travels a lot. four months later he started acting different... a little passive aggressive. about a month later he tells me one day that he just broke up with his girlfriend...

nice.

Edited by: HUNGOVEROWL at: 6/26/2011 (16:07)
MONSTERGIRL10's Photo MONSTERGIRL10 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/25/11 11:43 P

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I'm venting here because I just can't stop thinking about how much I've been hurt. Wow. I hate the guy, he took advantage of me for three years. Used me physically and financially, and emotionally abused me, treated me like crap. I hate the guy, don't love him, but I can't get him off my damn mind! Why?! For the past month I can't even sleep, because I have so much anxiety when I lay down and close my eyes, how much he betrayed me is ALL I can think about. I just want to stop thinking about it, and I'll be okay. I'm better off without him, and I know that. I'll find someone way better, I know that. So I just want the thoughts about how much I'm hurt to go away!!! I just want to forget he existed!!!

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4/25/11 11:42 P

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I'm venting here because I just can't stop thinking about how much I've been hurt. Wow. I hate the guy, he took advantage of me for three years. Used me physically and financially, and emotionally abused me, treated me like crap. I hate the guy, don't love him, but I can't get him off my damn mind! Why?! For the past month I can't even sleep, because I have so much anxiety when I lay down and close my eyes, how much he betrayed me is ALL I can think about. I just want to stop thinking about it, and I'll be okay. I'm better off without him, and I know that. I'll find someone way better, I know that. So I just want the thoughts about how much I'm hurt to go away!!! I just want to forget he existed!!!

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4/15/11 1:09 P

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I got stood up by my boyfriend last night. emoticon

He wanted to see me last night to have a a heart to heart talk because I have been distant from him, busy and living my life. He says he's miserable and wants to patch things up and get things better. So, what does he do? Stands me up. He called me this morning and I asked what happened to him and he said he went home to take a nap and totally forgot that he was supposed to pick me up. I waited 45 minutes for him. This is awful, but he's digging his own hole. He tells me that I am so important and he can't live without me, he feels awful, blah-blah-blah. I've seen this guy in action. He is very forgetful so, this doesn't surprise me that he forgot this one. But he should not have forgotten. I feel miserable. But I know if I talk to him, I will turn into a softie and accept his apology. I am a creature of habit. Change is tough. Break-ups are terrible!!! Need advice.

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HONEYDEWDROPS's Photo HONEYDEWDROPS Posts: 61
3/9/11 11:23 A

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Bumblebee, I am so sorry. I am sure you are not someone so forgettable. Take this emotions and use them to empower you!

"The only person between you and the person you want to become is...

you."


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BUMBLEBEE00's Photo BUMBLEBEE00 Posts: 189
2/26/11 10:11 P

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I've been really down lately. My ex and I were together for just over 4 years. He found out some things that i wasn't truthful about and ended it. I understood why he did this and i was in so much pain, but tried my best to move on. We broke up in the fall of 2009. I texted him once and a while throughout the past year and half, but we knew we werent together. Well since i bought a home in Sept 2010, hes been keeping me company on the phone at night. I just kinda get lonely. Well all of a sudden, beggining of this month he tells me to leave him alone for good. I was shocked and so hurt. I could barely breathe. I figured he had to have met someone, i asked and of course he wouldn't say. Finally he admitted that he got with another girl. I am so heart broken and miserable. I feel like the person i loved for so long is gone. I feel as if I am mourning a death of a close friend. I know that he wasn't mine for a long time,and that he can do what he wants, but I just didn't think he would get with a girl he barely knows and forget about me. It all keeps replaying through my head over and over and I dont know what to do. I cry almost everynight. Everyone can say theres more fish in the sea, but honestly it doesnt help. :(

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BRENDAS026's Photo BRENDAS026 Posts: 487
2/17/11 10:06 P

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watch when u see me again you are going to see me much thinner and with more self confidence i know im pretty and that u kinda like me, but u just dont have the guts to leave her!

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MONKEYSNUFFER's Photo MONKEYSNUFFER SparkPoints: (5,550)
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9/24/10 1:42 P

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I only got dumped about 2 weeks ago. We were really close friends and he promised if the romance didn't work out we would stay friends, but I haven't heard from him since the breakup.

He had a girlfriend and I knew it but I was so in love with him.

I am suffering and also miss having him to lean on.

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FIRESTARINFINI's Photo FIRESTARINFINI SparkPoints: (27,521)
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8/15/10 10:43 A

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I had a dream about him last night. I dreamt that we met for a few minutes, then that he was ignoring me for the rest of the time.
I haven't dreamed about him in a year. Sometimes I think that I want him, but I know that I'm aiming for something better.
If I ended up with him, I wouldn't want to lose 70+ pounds.
I wouldn't be trying so hard to get into grad school.
I wouldn't be trying so hard to improve myself.
I hate, I hate that I have put myself through so much heart break, and yet I know that without it I wouldn't be pushing myself to be a better person.

Edited by: FIRESTARINFINI at: 9/24/2010 (14:13)
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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ANDRAXIA's Photo ANDRAXIA SparkPoints: (29,967)
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8/15/10 2:02 A

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I had something spooky happen to me the other day. I was working...a trial work day with the Dept of Rehab...and this woman came up to me saying things in spanish, after making sure I couldn't understand her (I do a little...enough to know it was all negative)that were the exact things my ex told me his next woman would say to me. When she ended she said "And this I know you understand...apiche?" I was like "You mean capiche? You made sure I couldn't understand spanish before you started talking." notto metion that's italian. She said "Just stay away from my man, or any of the men in this store no one is interested in you blondie and don't you dare come back with brown hair tommorow or ever." She turned and started walking away and it hit me this is the exact speech my ex wanted me to give to a woman he dated before me. I just said "Wait until he tries to kill you, honey, like he did me." She started to turn and the supervisor ordered her out of the store. She came back and put her hand on my back and said "Who was that?" I said I don't know her but I think my ex probably sent her in to say that to me, it's what he told me he had all his women do to prove they wanted him. HA! I never did it...a girl at the gym told me he was that type though. And he confirmed it when he told me what he had required his first wife to do for him before they got married.
I don't want him though. I want his roommate!


Edited by: ANDRAXIA at: 8/15/2010 (02:05)
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7/29/10 3:30 P

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Hi, all--

Boy, wish I had found this thread about 5 years ago...that's when I got the nerve to call it quits with my "soul mate" and believe me I still love him to this day.....ugh! take a gun and shot me ... please.

My story goes way back when I first met him...the day I saw him I knew he was it and that was in 1993. We started dating in Jan. 1994. We broke up, got back together in early 1995; broke up again, got back together again in 1996 then broke up in about 4 months....he got married to someone at work in 1998 ...got a divorce from her in 2000; got back with in the fall of 2000---we were together for almost 5 years until in 2005 he stated "he did not want to commit, and did not know what I wanted."

I walked away from the relationship at that point--vowed to NEVER take him back no matter what.

--
And you know ---I still love him--my heart hurts b/c it did not work out and I ache for him...I am sooooo sick.

Charlene

The principle is competing against yourself. It's about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before - Steve Young


"A cheerful heart is good medicine to the soul, but a downcast spirit dries the bones."



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7/29/10 7:09 A

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I got dumped a little over six months ago but still the relationship, while not the best in the world, was one I had been in a long time. We could have worked it out. But he got violent. I just remember him screaming at me how there was a reason he was violent, that I didn't understand anything else, etc., etc. It was insane. I do want what we had back but I know better but I can't imagine ever having that again with anyone else. I hate him for doing this to me, emotionally, physically and I just want to scream. I need to find another counseling group. I know when my ex and I were together, especially during the last few weeks, he kept coming back and apologizing and trying to make things up to me by doing NOTHING and trying to get me to see how it was really more my fault because I was living in a padded world with no violence and noise control (I get migraines and there are kids around) and was overly careful about things. He liked pushing people around when he felt like it, something I noticed on like the...first date. We didn't see each other often but there was something there...I'm just not sure what it was anymore. Still...fifteen months. Seems it meant little to him.

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LAURA2471's Photo LAURA2471 Posts: 380
6/18/10 12:06 P

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I got dumped repeatedly over the past year and a half. He kept coming back, apologizing, I kept taking him back. Finally the other day, he gave me heck for using an essential oil (allergic to perfume) that was suggested by my ex-hubby.(we have kids together) About 2-3wks ago, I got heck for telling my ex-hubby I was going to get the car. (My guy, my ex and my kids were at my daughters grad -the ex was staying with the kids & my guys was walking me to the car) Let's see, I get b!tched at for almost everything, and he takes no responsibility for anything.

So the other day when I brought him dinner to his place and he got pissy because of the essential oil, and told me 'goodbye' again. I snapped. I haven't talked to him since. Yes, I've been mad, sad, crying, and I admit I called (blocked id)but left no message. I'm moving at the end of the month to a different apartment & looking forward to a fresh start. Just wish I didn't doubt myself so much, wish my self-esteem was higher...I guess I will get there in time.

That stupid lazy-ass, fat bastard, can keep sitting on his couch, smoke, be cheap & I will keep finding NO sexual satisfaction ~but on my own now.

hehehe....that felt good to say!

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CECSAV's Photo CECSAV Posts: 148
5/10/10 7:51 P

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tomorrow would be my 8th wedding anniversary. this weekend will be the 4th anniversary of our divorce. next week we will have been divorced longer than we were married. shouldn't this be easier by now? i still dream about him, my heart hasn't healed. i can't date because i feel that it wouldn't be fair to go out with someone new while i still love my ex-husband. i'm spinning my wheels here

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TURBOX319's Photo TURBOX319 Posts: 80
3/4/10 6:18 P

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I'm so glad I found this group. I dated a guy for about a year and a half and he is from my hometown but I'm in college 3 hours away. I broke up with him almost a year ago because things were not going well at all, and we've been on and off ever since. It seems impossible to try and fix a relationship with the distance, and I've tried to move on and started dating but it seems like all these guys are worse than my ex! It's so frustrating! I know I need to give up on my ex, but it's hard when he's been one of my main support systems for 5 years...I'm happy that there are others here going through similar feelings as me and that I can come here for support and help support others too!

ďWeíre always getting ready to live, but never living. Ē

ďFear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours.Ē


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ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
12/15/09 9:44 A

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Ouch! I've had that happen to me before...granted it was middle school. I would be mad too. I'm sorry to hear that a friend would do that to you. emoticon

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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FIRESTARINFINI's Photo FIRESTARINFINI SparkPoints: (27,521)
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12/13/09 9:30 P

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I'm so mad right now. I just thought back to a friend that really screwed me over. I confided in her that I liked this guy, then for 3 months she helped me make a birthday present for him, after that we stopped talking, and a few months later the guy that I have a crush on tells me that he's going out with her, apparently they were spending a lot of time together over the past few months. He doesn't know about the situation, but she's sorry she didn't handle the situation that well.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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12/11/09 2:35 P

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Thanks. It's really hard to be self motivated when your surroundings are so negative, but I'm hoping, at the very least--- when I get out of this with a healthy body-- some other part of it will change with it too.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leader of the 'Fans of Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert!' Team
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ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
12/11/09 10:11 A

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SHINKU: People like that aren't even worth your time. I know what you mean...I want to be that sexy girl where I will get second glances. No one expects that from me, but just wait. It's kind of like a harmless revenge, lol.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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12/11/09 12:55 A

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ROXB1987, I believe in you! I'm sick of having this nagging feeling in my gut that guys pass me over for some other girl because of my weight. I'm sick of being the emotional support that people use only at their convenience. I'm sick of people just looking at me as if I'm just my weight.
I'm ready to be that sexy girl that people, when they look at me, wishes they didn't burn that bridge.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leader of the 'Fans of Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert!' Team
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ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
12/10/09 10:03 A

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Grrr...I'm starting to think about him again and don't know why. I know that these thoughts will pass, but still...I don't want to think about him. I met a guy this past weekend that would be better for me, so why am I thinking about things?

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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9/1/09 8:59 P

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thanks for the reply! :)

i have to hold out at this job for a little longer...but i cant wait until i can walk up to the boss and say...this is my 2 weeks notice!

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CRAZEPUPPIES's Photo CRAZEPUPPIES Posts: 3,736
9/1/09 2:00 P

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I used to be in the same position. At first I really liked my job and then I think I let my coworkers get to me and the job just became miserable. Everyday at work I would search for other jobs, pretty much applying for anything that was available.
It took me a while, but I found my current job and I really like it here!! Which is a relief I don't think I could handle another miserable job.

~Mary
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8/30/09 10:09 P

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i need to vent!

i can honestly say that i hate my job. i used to LOVE my job...i love dealing with people and every once in awhile i got to help someone that needed help and i love to do that.

but lately, i cant stand this place. i really dont get paid enough to deal with the stupid stuff that happens on a daily basis. and if we are ALL adults working here...why do i have to constantly pick up after everyone and fix everyones mistakes?????

ughhh i cant wait to get outta this place!

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8/2/09 4:21 P

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im new to this team...my name is Leah :)

im doing pretty good, trying to stay focused on losing weight and making myself feel good.

have a nice day everyone!

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CRAZEPUPPIES's Photo CRAZEPUPPIES Posts: 3,736
7/26/09 7:52 P

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It has been quiet lately, well at least on this thread lol!!
I hope everyone is doing well! I went on a hike this morning with a local hiking group. It was a great way to start the morning :)!
I've been trying to find new opportunities, new things to do, new people to meet, etc.
What about everyone else?

~Mary
BLACKCHANDELIER's Photo BLACKCHANDELIER Posts: 216
7/23/09 1:54 P

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Hello all just wanted to see how everyone is??? This thread has been pretty quite lately.

***~KEEP IT MOVIN~***
***~SO YESTERDAY~***


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ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
7/13/09 1:56 P

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Hello Ladies! Today is a New Day! Today can be a new start or just a fresh start! We can do this & we will do this! Each day will get a little easier & each day will be a little better! We can do this & we will! WE are STRONG WOMEN!

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BLACKCHANDELIER's Photo BLACKCHANDELIER Posts: 216
7/12/09 8:00 P

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I would love to find on a buddy on here to talk about this crap I go through and we can help each other out, its hard raising three kids and going through my own struggles.

***~KEEP IT MOVIN~***
***~SO YESTERDAY~***


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CRAZEPUPPIES's Photo CRAZEPUPPIES Posts: 3,736
7/10/09 4:04 P

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I don't know him, but I'm guessing he is being an ass because he did/does care about you. Guys can be so stupid sometimes (most times lol!).
I think in the beginning with things going on with you and your ex it maybe hard to lose weight even though you want to so badly. I'm really terrible with advice on weight loss. It sucks what more can I say lol! For me it doesn't come easy so I've finally found other things to focus on.


~Mary
BLACKCHANDELIER's Photo BLACKCHANDELIER Posts: 216
7/7/09 11:48 A

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Sad and I wanna cry and give up. Today was weight in and I seems I didnt lose crap not an inch nothing. My bisy doesnt seem to lose inches. But Im more sad cause I have to call my ex last night 12am to bring me my pain pills he stole from me and he wouldnt do it. He was drinking didnt want to drive was busy but just plain didnt care I was in pain and in need of my own pills. He ended up coming hours later being a cocky ass hole. I am so hurt that it is so obvious that he really just doesnt care. I wanna give up espeicalluy with no change on the scale PLEASE HELP

***~KEEP IT MOVIN~***
***~SO YESTERDAY~***


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BLACKCHANDELIER's Photo BLACKCHANDELIER Posts: 216
7/6/09 9:03 P

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Thank god for this thread. My bf and I just broke up. He doesnt want what I want as far as marriage and more kids (i have 3). He is extremely frugal ( oh hell he is cheap)but he is good to my kids. I broke it off because what is the point in wasting time with someone who doesnt want what you want for the future. Now that we have ended it and I have been talking to others some seem to think he will change. But I dont also he doesnt have a relationship with either of his parents and I think that is a red flag espeically because he doesnt talk to him mom. He went as far as to change him number so she cant call. emoticon

***~KEEP IT MOVIN~***
***~SO YESTERDAY~***


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ALTHORP's Photo ALTHORP Posts: 196
3/28/09 5:21 P

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Yeah, I could see how having doubts with your new guy could make you start thinking about the old guy. After my last vent on here, I had a few days where I really wasn't feeling great (sadness relapse, I'm calling it), but I've started feeling better now. I want to get to that point where I think "I'm SO glad things didn't work out with him", but I am definitely not there. Anyway, good luck with the rest of your day...and keep exercising (at least that's the only thing that makes me feel a bit more normal when I'm having a really sad day).

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CRAZEPUPPIES's Photo CRAZEPUPPIES Posts: 3,736
3/28/09 1:47 P

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I'm just having a really bad day in terms of thinking about my ex. I try not to and I've been doing pretty well lately, but the past couple of days haven't been too great.
I'm seeing someone, but I still feel like I am all alone. It isn't going so great with the person I am seeing now and I feel like my doubts are just adding to my problems.

~Mary
ALTHORP's Photo ALTHORP Posts: 196
3/16/09 10:06 P

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And I think I look really pretty right now, and that's just making me more upset for some reason :(

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ALTHORP's Photo ALTHORP Posts: 196
3/16/09 10:05 P

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I'm so, so upset right now. More upset than I've been since the night I last saw my ex. So I've been avoiding all events that he might be at, but I just got sick of it and had sort of decided that tonight I was gonna go to one (a going-away party for a mutual friend). Then I called another friend to see what the deal was, and it turns out that my ex was there with his current girl, and I just decided I couldn't handle it. If he was there on his own, maybe, but I think I might've thrown up if I'd seen him with some one else. So I was all dressed up (because I wanted to look good in case I saw him), and now I'm home, upset that I can't go to say goodbye to my friend, upset that HE gets to be there, happy with his new girl. It's so unfair I want to burst! I'm the unhappy one who needs to see friends--he could just stay in with the girl (although I don't want to think about that either). UGH I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER BE OVER HIM. and even if I am, why do I have to go through so much pain and he gets to move on to the next girl???? And he doesn't even have to think about me anymore :( :( :(

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ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
3/12/09 12:34 P

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We have to be happy with ourselves before we can be happy with someone else, you can find happiness in things that you love to do, family, friends, or children if you have them. Itís the simple things in life that make me the happiest. Having a man in your life doesnít make you happy; I think that itís the friendship and not being lonely that we are looking for. Take it one day at a time & see what happens. This is the time for you! This is all about YOU!

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KWHITE417's Photo KWHITE417 Posts: 19
2/24/09 12:31 P

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How do we learn to be happy on our own? My ex is a Jekyll and Hyde and the worst part is we work for the same company, so he feels the need to come over to my desk several times a day to talk about nothing and has questions if I am off. I should have NEVER gotten involved with someone I work with...it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Our jobs have nothing to do with one another, but I still see him...uggh!! He can be so sweet one day and be a total a-hole the next. It hurts even more because all of me friends are either engaged, married, happy in a relationship or happy in a new relationship...or just plain ole in a relationship...and I got so used to being alone from my last break up...I was fine...then this guy comes along and I go back to being somewhat dependent...or having to have a man in my life even if he is a jerk.
If we didn't work together getting over him would be so much easier...And I don't feel like I should quit my job cause of him. I have a good job that I like...it's just not fair. I've let myself become consumed by my work and I just don't have a desire to meet anyone new...the last few experiences left a bad taste in my mouth and I just don't want to be bothered...but when he comes back being all sweet and full of I love you's and i need you's I always take him back when deep inside I know he wont change and nothing else will change. He has a drinking problem and cant even drive right now because of a DUI....He's gotten 2 and so I've been the one carting him around and doing all the driving and putting all the wear and tear on my car...also not fair...
I don't know...I guess I just needed to vent...things will get better...it will take time... emoticon emoticon

Every difficult climb in life is always worth the view!!


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CRAZEPUPPIES's Photo CRAZEPUPPIES Posts: 3,736
2/8/09 9:11 P

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That is the best way to look at this as the door that just opened, at least that is what I did after I was able to somewhat get over it. I do look as the 'break up' as another opportunity for myself, I know that I would have had as much time to work out, learn new eating habits and spend time on SP if I was with someone. It is kind of like I have realized that I'd forgotten about what was really important to me, maybe I didn't forget but it was definitely on the back burner. I try to find the positive in everything and this is what is working for me right now!

~Mary
ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
2/1/09 10:39 P

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We don't need our exs in our lives, we are so much better with out them! Don't stare at the door that just closed look at the door that just opened. This year has so many new chances and a new start if you need it.

LET YOURSELF SHINE IS 09!

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CHELI667's Photo CHELI667 Posts: 29
1/28/09 4:29 P

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ROXB1987-- i totally understand how u feel... really my main motivation has been to throw it in my ex's face.. when he realizes how hot I am and how much i DONT want or NEED him in my life.

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ROXB1987's Photo ROXB1987 Posts: 3
1/27/09 4:51 P

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I am very happy that I was able to find this site. First I Must say after reading you girl's stories I felt as though I belonged in this group more than the others. I wrote a more detailed blog about it but, long story short my soon to be husband left me for another girl. The girl just happens to weigh about 115 to 120 pounds and was also a good (ex)friend of mine. He started with the fat comments then moved on to just mean comments even ignoring me. Since then I go out with my friends and I really don't have problems finding a guy to but me a couple drinks. But, I still feel as though I would like to show him what he had and what he ended up getting stuck with. I want my health and my confidence to be lifted more than ever. I would never loose weight to stay with a man. But, I feel showing him what a dumb arrogant dick he was is pretty healthy! What do you think? You girls are beautiful so are your stories. I wish so much luck to all of you!

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ALTHORP's Photo ALTHORP Posts: 196
1/27/09 3:33 P

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Yeah, ENGLISH-ROSE, my situation was like that too, at least at first. he was supposedly just scared of a relationship, and i thought i was being supportive and patient with him, but then he told me he was "stressed out" about relationship stuff and broke up with me. then he immediately started dating another girl (who he already knew) and is already much more committed to her after 7 weeks than he ever was to me after 1 1/2 years :(

i guess now i can think he's much more of an a-hole, but i still don't view everything in black and white. yeah, he used me because i willing to be laid-back and adaptable, but i shouldn't have put up with it. i still think he's inherently a good guy, if a little selfish and insensitive. i wish i thought worse of him.

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ROVISI's Photo ROVISI Posts: 361
1/19/09 9:34 P

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I totally understand about the sweetie thing. There was literally nothing wrong with my ex. Everytime we got too close, I'd kinda panic. So I don't blame him for leaving. I don't blame him for moving on. I just wish it could've been me who was able to be with him. And I also wish he was a total dick.

"Never eat more than you can lift" - Miss Piggy


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CHELI667's Photo CHELI667 Posts: 29
1/19/09 8:47 P

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i saw this and i really wanted to share-- we are all GREAT WOMEN and dont' need the fools that don't deserve us..!!! emoticon

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CHELI667's Photo CHELI667 Posts: 29
1/19/09 8:46 P

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A good woman is proud of herself. She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with,
nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs.
A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true.
She knows love; therefore, she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value
and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance.
She knows that she will, at all times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.
A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future.
A good woman knows God. She knows that with God, the world is her playground,
but without God she will just be played. A good woman does not live in fear of the future
because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experience are merely lessons,
meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love.



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ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
1/19/09 5:06 P

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My ex was always a mix. The last words he spoke to me where i love you, but the sentence before that was i want you all but i don't. Some days i miss him like crazy & some days i am glad that he is gone.

Men who say there frightened of commitment wont ever change, I think that was alot of my ex problem. I sent 3 years hoping and i refuse to do so any more.



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JENNIECOOL's Photo JENNIECOOL Posts: 17
1/19/09 12:41 P

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I sometimes think it's harder when your ex is a sweetie! My ex broke up with me and did the whole cliche "I love you but frightened of commitment" spiel. He's so supportive and a really good friend, but I wish he was a dick so I could just hate him and get over it.


When you're smiling the whole world smiles with you.


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ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
1/15/09 12:49 P

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Is he in your daughters life? My daughters father isn't, and its for the best. Some days I miss him & others i am so glad that he is gone. Try not to stoop to his level because that says that your no better then him. You need to decide what is best for your son & you. I know its hard, but some times walking way and having no contact is best.

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CHELI667's Photo CHELI667 Posts: 29
1/15/09 8:07 A

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Thanks... I know I shouldnt have stooped to his level, It was just so hard not to say anything back. Next time I will be the bigger person and not say anything and do a work out video to release my anger.

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ROVISI's Photo ROVISI Posts: 361
1/14/09 10:34 P

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He's a total dick for saying that to you! How hurtful! Next time, don't stoop to his level - be the bigger person now, because he will regret that he wasn't the bigger person later.

"Never eat more than you can lift" - Miss Piggy


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CHELI667's Photo CHELI667 Posts: 29
1/14/09 8:34 P

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WEll i can def say that i love this team. its good to have such a great support group with others who may be experiencing the same thing. My son's father is an asshole to the fullest. The other day (he was upset that i told he he's not a good man) he kept going on and on about my weight and how ugly and unattractive I've gotten. I had to laugh off but inside it hurt soo much! I used to be very vain, I admit it. And now that i dont look or even slightly fit into any of my old clothes, my feet got bigger cuz of the pregnancy and now i have a double chin it sucks cuz i dont need anyone pointing out what i fn already know. i look @my self in the mirror every day! so wtf.. so anyway back to the aHOLE --i had to totally diss him and act immature and comment about his "friend" and lack of stamina.
And yet i hope one day he'll change and treat me like a Queen...

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ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
1/11/09 8:57 P

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I think that missing some one that we care greatly about is normal. They where a huge part of our lives and hearts. They have came to be a part of us in away. Start doing small things that make you happy like taking a bubble bath, reading, working out, going out to eat once a week (healthy!), getting your nails done or something. Those things will lead to big better things because your taking this time for yourself. You need to find true happiness, because you cant be happy with any one else until you are happy by yourself.

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ROVISI's Photo ROVISI Posts: 361
1/10/09 7:51 P

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I haven't seen or spoken to my ex in 60 days. But I STILL miss him! Or I just miss having someone...gahh. How do I learn to just be happy being on my own?

"Never eat more than you can lift" - Miss Piggy


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ONE_HOTMAMA's Photo ONE_HOTMAMA Posts: 907
1/5/09 3:13 P

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If you need to vent this is the thread for you! Vent about whatever is bothering you! It doesnít matter if itís your ex, your job, or what else may be bothering you. Letís hear it!

CAUTION- This thread may have some offensive language in it!


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