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KATE_JOY SparkPoints: (31,087)
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1/27/12 2:44 P

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My grandfather was in the hospital with a pulmonary embolism and I had been there with him night and day for 16 days. The nurse was explaining about the new medication he would go home and asked if he would actually do it. I told her I would be sure he did and she asked if he would listen to me. He pointed at me and said, "Look at the size of her."

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MOMORAMA's Photo MOMORAMA Posts: 207
1/25/12 5:21 P

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When I was either 11 or 12 my mom took me to the store to buy me a jacket that I really really wanted for my birthday.

On the way through she stopped and looked at some nighties. She was probably about 200 then, and this was in the early nineties so there weren't as many xxl in the "normal" womens section.

The one she was looking at was for a tiny lady. I asked her "that'll be a little snug, won't it?"

I was giving her a hard time, because that's all my family ever did to each other. God forbid we ever act like anything someone else was interested in was nice.

It really hurt her feelings. Mostly because we were out in public (that's what they get for letting me out of the house!) I still feel bad about it and it's been 20 years!


As for me - I've been fat forever, so I don't count mean stuff kids said to me in my school years.

One thing that sticks out though - when my son was about 4/5 years old he said "mom's arms look like they're full of gummy bears."

I laughed then. I still think it's funny. But I do look at my arms and go "yup, still got gummibears."

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JENNILOVESDAVID's Photo JENNILOVESDAVID SparkPoints: (947)
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1/19/12 1:43 P

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I picked up my kids from their dad's house one time and they were both upset. I finally got it out of them that their dad had told them "No sodas. You don't want to end up fat like your mom do you?" This is my ex husband.

Now, he has my son convinced he is fat. My son gained some chub when he was 11 and 12 and I told EVERYONE that's what happens before a growth spurt. Low and behold,. he's 14 now and taller than me and thin, but his dad STILL makes him feel bad about himself.

Add to that, the creep used to still hit on me (Yes as fat as I was/am) and he was already REMARRIED. That all stopped once I got married again in 2010 to the most loving supportive man whose only fear about my losing weight is that my top will shrink to much!! He loves big women, but he wants me healthy so we can go and do stuff together.

Whew! Thanks for letting me vent!

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PENNYLANE78's Photo PENNYLANE78 Posts: 422
1/14/12 10:27 P

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I'm sure there are others...but this is one that I can think of that happened not that long ago. I was fixing my hair in the bathroom at work and someone walked by and said "Oh, I guess we all want to look good, I didn't think fat girls cared about all that stuff." Um, really? It never crossed your mind that someone other than a skinny person would want to care for their appearance? I hate that these comments always take me by surprise...I never think of the comebacks until later. Ugh. People are bold, I don't understand that either, because I would *never* speak to a family member/friend that way, let alone a total stranger!!



I'm not losing weight, I'm getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again.


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TRACILYN75's Photo TRACILYN75 Posts: 19
1/14/12 1:44 A

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This was from my 5 year old just the other day. My husband and I were talking to each other about a mom at my sons school and my husband was trying to figure out which mom and he said the skinny one just as my 5 year old walked into the room and he said " mom is not skinny" So I asked him if I was not skinny what was I. And he just looked at me and said I'm out of here and left the room. My husband just laughed.

"If you'll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives." Vince Lombardi

I wake up every day with the realization that this is it, that there's only one shot at this life and I can either enjoy the ride and live it to its fullest and to my highest potential or I can stay the way I am.



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GAS_SAG's Photo GAS_SAG Posts: 8,330
1/13/12 11:10 P

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I have 3! One that i said, One that was focused on me, and one that my little niece said.

1ST the one I said. I was 3 and we went on vacation to Chicago. my mom was pregnant and we were on the beach when I proceed to tell everyone I ate all the raisins and mom ate all the cookies.

2nd Grade school I was nicknamed shar the tard bar! By the kids in my brothers class 3 years older. This was at a christian day school.

3rd Me and my little niece were out somewhere and I can't remember if it was where we were at or after the fact at home that she said remember the big guy! You know the one that was fat! she is 4 but dose not understand why it is not ok!

Growing up my dad and grandma have always been mean so I guess I have just learned to ignore most things that are said by anyone!

*** Sharleen *** Motivational captain 30 something challenge

The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.


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2GREAT4DICEKIDS's Photo 2GREAT4DICEKIDS Posts: 82
1/13/12 2:55 P

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After I had my first baby, I gained a lot of weight. For years after I had him I had several people ask me if I was going to have another one. It was usually someone I hadn't seen for a while. My stomach, I realize, wasn't shaped quite the same. But it was so embarrassing. I know these people didn't mean to be hurtful, because their faces fell we I told them no. Still to this day I will not ask someone if they're expecting. I let them mention it first.

Now days my son is 9. He has started noticing that his father and I are both over weight. He's started making comments about it and saying that maybe we shouldn't eat certain foods anymore because it might make us heavier. He's made some other comments to both of us that were hurtful. He doesn't understand yet that those kind of comments are hurtful. I've been trying to explain to him. I'm sure he getting it at school. I didn't realize that even my child could be hurtful by just commenting on what he sees.

WORKIN' ON IT...


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1/13/12 11:51 A

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I know right where to start, this is the one that has stuck with me:
I must have been 13 or so and I was going to meet my mom at her job. I was walking up a hill and there were a couple of teenage boys walking my way. As they past me they begin singing the verse to a rap song that ended with "she was fat as hell"...If I could have fallen through the crack in the grown I would have. My weight....no not my weight, there was a lot that went on in my early year that made me master the art of not existing so people would not hurt me. In my mind, if you did not see me you would not hurt me. I knew just how to do the right things, be nice , be polite, not to call attention to myself, but in that moment I was mortified they could "see" me and did not like what they saw.... Yeah that one hit hard I replayed that one over in my head many a times....
emoticon
Glad I got that out
But now it is my time to shine! emoticon I'm not afraid to be seen anymore



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SIZZLINMAMA's Photo SIZZLINMAMA Posts: 26
1/12/12 12:23 A

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Ugh god, where do I start?
1-Grade 10, someone wrote you're huge in big letters on my locker at school.
2-The much heard "you have such a pretty face, if only you could lose some weight"
3-"when are you due? NOT PREGNANT emoticon emoticon
4-The worst because its true and she doesn't understand it hurts "mom how come you're so BIG?" from my beautiful little girl when she was 5 emoticon

Actually there have been a few over my 33 years, but I think I was the one that did the worst damage because those are just words but I WAS THE ONE who believed them. past tense!
NOT ANY MORE!

Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of only standing still.

Know your limits...but never stop trying to exceed them.

SARAH


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MBOJANO2's Photo MBOJANO2 SparkPoints: (333)
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1/7/12 8:57 A

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Let's see where to start?

When I was a kid my Step-Dad would chant every timg I would eat something "Though the lips a lifetime on the hips"

Kids in school would sing "Fatty Fatty two by four Mandi can't fit though the kitchen door"

I was joking with a friend of mine that I wasn't fat I was just to short for my weight and she said "Well I don't think anyone's that tall"

After I had my son I had a client say "I thought you already had the baby?"

I've had someone tell me I'd be a knock out if I wasn't fat.

Okay I drop them here and now I can move on

emoticon

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ONEHALFME's Photo ONEHALFME Posts: 18
1/4/12 12:55 P

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Wow, really powerful stuff. Here's one from my childhood, that even now, almost 30 years later, I still remember:
(sung to the Copa Cabana tune):
Her name is Paula, she's from New York
She's got a spider on her leg,
and she's very VERY fat!

I heard that almost every day for a year, getting on the school bus.

I guess that's where I started to carry around a lot of anger. I wanted to go up to that girl and punch her in the face so badly. I carried that anger around with me for a long time, so I didn't get a lot of people who pointed and laughed like so many others here, I think because people were scared I'd beat them up.

Thanks to growing up and realizing that I'm the only one with control over my body, (and I have to give kudos to Wellbutrin), I don't carry that anger around with me, and I'm not as self-conscious. When I think about how I could have better responded to teasing when I was a child, I wish I had thought of the the "You don't think I have any mirrors in my house?" line. It's always been funny to me that people declare "You're fat!", as if we didn't know!

Let's leave these bad memories here, and make new memories of feeling healthy and fantastic.

"Direct the rider. Motivate the elephant. Shape the path."– Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard, by Chip & Dan Heath


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MRSLYRIK's Photo MRSLYRIK Posts: 426
1/2/12 1:56 A

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I've had kids in the store say I was preggo....or tell their mommy that I have a baby in my belly.

I also had a kid say "whoa, she's big" to their sibling.

And my greatest fear is starting to come true....today my 4 year old said mommy you have a big tummy.....it was so harmless but it was still hard.

~Tonya


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1/1/12 9:55 A

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My over weight hubby (328 lbs) has always made fun of my weight. He says it "jokingly" but he's just as bad.

On My Way


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FLAMINGAPE75's Photo FLAMINGAPE75 SparkPoints: (0)
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12/5/11 4:50 P

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I have to say three experiences come to mind:

1. A few years ago, I went grocery shopping. After packing the trunk with a full cart of food, I went to start the car. Nothing. Called my dad who lives 10 minutes away but he told me to hoof it. That I could stand to lose the weight. It felt like someone had just punched me in the chest. I ended up pushing the cart of groceries home (1 mile). When I got home, I put stuff away then broke down crying. It was like my own dad didn't love me anymore.

2. I just graduated from college over the summer and was walking to the school. I was dressed nicely and was carrying my graduating robe. I was waiting to cross the street when some guy hung out the car and screamed fat ass. I was shocked.

3. And finally, probably one of the ones that bothers me the most. My daughter (15) gets mad at me over something and we start to argue. She'll make comments like no wonder you can't lose weight. You're always stuffing your face. No wonder you don't have any friends/bf. You're disgusting. I know she's trying to hurt me and get back at me, but I hate it. Would be so easy to give it right back to her (she's 250) but I know what it's like to be put down.

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OHBEEBLESSED's Photo OHBEEBLESSED Posts: 491
11/11/11 9:18 A

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It is amazing how what people say, can stay in your head for years. I remember as a child having everyone telling me, how much I look like, one of my very overweight aunts. I always took that to mean, that I was fat. Now I look back at pictures and, I was perfectly normal. But I always had it in my mind, I was a fat person. I think it influenced my eating leter on too.



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PAGLEO Posts: 22
11/10/11 3:59 P

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I remember when I first began to gain weight 8 or 9 years ago, my sweet little neice (5 years old at the time) came to me totally excited because

(insert sweet little 5 year old voice here)
Neice "yay, Aunt Page, you are getting a baby!"
Me - " No, honey, I'm not going to have a baby."
Neice - " Uh huh! You're getting a baby!! I can tell!"

She was so excited because she wanted a cousin so bad. Sad to think that I have gained almost 100 pounds since then.

CRIT524's Photo CRIT524 Posts: 7,786
11/10/11 10:54 A

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I dont believe that childhood necessarily always affects us in a certain way...ie Jeffery Dahmer etc. BUT is it such a far stretch that many overweight people have dysfunctional parents?? I dont mean highly dysfunctional but just the smallness of those snide remarks, even when meant well, can carry over into a lifetime of hurt.

I have no relationship with my parents. My mom did me the favor of moving 1500 miles away almost 7 years ago and not telling me or my children. not telling my children did it for me. I feel emotionally lighter if not thinner physically.

__________________________________________ _____________
Overweight, fatigued, frumpy woman looking for thin, energetic, sexy woman within.
-cecelia


Alton Bay Old Home Day 5k 8/14/10 47.07
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11/9/11 4:57 P

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My mother is my trigger. She is always commenting on my weight and body and trying to get me to tell her my weight. It has taken mt a long time but I just tune her out and live my life. If it wasn't for the fact that she's my mother I would have cut her off a long time ago. Sometimes it's the ones closest to you who hurt you the most.

Now I use the negativity to fuel my fire and motivate me. I'm doing this for me and noone else. emoticon

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OHBEEBLESSED's Photo OHBEEBLESSED Posts: 491
11/9/11 8:35 A

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I posted last week as a status, that I had lost 12 last month. I also had it go to facebook. Well I got lots of encouraging comments, except for my mom, who said good job, I hope you won't get sick! Which is totaly ludicris!!!!! 12 pounds is a totaly reasonable amount of weight to losse in one month! But I am sure, it has more to do with her. My mother has been over weight all her adult life. I tried to get her on here, but she made it two days. So I just have to assume it is jealously.



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CRIT524's Photo CRIT524 Posts: 7,786
10/23/11 3:07 P

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hahaha at the drowning idea....not a bad one emoticon

__________________________________________ _____________
Overweight, fatigued, frumpy woman looking for thin, energetic, sexy woman within.
-cecelia


Alton Bay Old Home Day 5k 8/14/10 47.07
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10/23/11 2:50 P

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I work at an English school in South Korea. A couple months ago we had a long weekend and were discussing our plans. I told the other teachers and boss that I was going to a water park for the day and how excited I was about finally going. My boss, without missing a beat, said in total shock, "YOU'RE going to wear a swimsuit???"
I wanted to invite her to the water park so I could drown her.

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10/19/11 9:49 P

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This is from when I was a kid. I can not overstate how much thsi effected me. So odd how some things stick with you.

I was in 3rd grade, about 8 years old. One of my classmates lived directly across the street from me. We would see each other and say hello but we never really played together. Somehow it got around school that his Daddy was in jail. And this boy, Davy, figures I told because my family knows his family. So he comes up to me on the schoolyard and says "Do you think it is funny that my dad is in jail?" I told him of course not and why was he so mad and he says to me......

That's why your Daddy left your Mama. Because she is so fat that nobody could ever love her.

I know he was just a kid and he was going through some serious stuff and I was just an easy target for him. That is an understanding I came to as an adult. As a kid, he may as well have shot me in the chest. My pain of not having my dad around, of having a fat country mom, of everyone knowing my life wasnt right. And most of all, the sneaking suspicion that it was too true and that I would grew up lonely and sad as my mother.

BRANDYSTOTT's Photo BRANDYSTOTT SparkPoints: (2,872)
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10/5/11 9:30 P

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ok Here goes... My nephew was going for his first tour in Iraq and we were having a deployment party for him. As you can guess many people I knew and many people I didn't came,. I went to sit down and talk with some friends and a boy about 10 years old, said to me as I was about to sit that I should keep standing because the chair wouldn't hold someone as fat as me. All I can say is I was shocked. I looked left then right like "was he talking to me" I said excuse me? and he REPEATED it!! Sitting next to him was his mother and I was like aren't you going say something to him and she had the nerve to say to me "WHAT? I have always told my kids not to lie and if the truth hurts then you should lose weight!"

While I was having this conversation with this woman I overheard another boy say..."well she is pretty fat" They boy he was talking to was my 6 year old son and he said that's my mom. The other boy then said "I wouldn't tell anyone that was my mom if she looked like that.

At that point I burst into tears and left. That was 4 years ago and I still get upset just to think about it. Sometimes people just SUCK!!

Edited by: BRANDYSTOTT at: 10/5/2011 (21:38)
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10/5/11 9:18 A

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My mom has always told me that I should work on losing weight because I just look...

Well, imagine someone blowing up their cheeks with air... that's my mom's description of it. lol

She can eat anything and never go over 128 pounds. When she gets there, she just about freaks out and goes on a "diet' to get back to her usual 125 pounds.

I think one of the things that stands out for me is a guy I was "involved with" for about six months. The fun factor was there, but ultimately, he "didn't want to date someone where he would need to be concerned about losing them due to their health," and my being overweight wasn't "healthy."

So we parted ways, keeping in touch with occasional hellos. I didn't hold it against him, I guess because I knew there are some guys who just won't date overweight women. He was in love with this new girl, he showed me pictures of her online. Fast forward six more months, he tells me that she has cancer and was given anywhere from 1 year to 1 1/2 years. I stopped talking to him from that day forward, because he needed to "focus on being there for her in the hospital and taking care of her."

I don't take health situations lightly (my father died of lung cancer), but I couldn't help but think about his needing to date someone he wouldn't lose due to health issues. Just kinda ironic...

On another note, a guy I was best friends with for years had an issue with my weight and wouldn't date me. He watched me become involved with someone new back in Novemer 2007 and marrying that man in December 2009... Last week, he told me, "You know what I think about a lot? Man, if I had just hooked up with you..."

I told him, "Hey, you could have just come with me to the gym and worked out with me. But, sorry buddy, you lost your chance!"

It feels so good to be able to say that, even though I've stayed around the same weight. I'm so motivated to drop this weight now though, for my own health and well-being.

But eventually, I'll rub it in his face and make him think about his loss even more. *evil laugh*

LUCKYLUCKYLAURA Posts: 1
9/21/11 9:19 A

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I remember once having to go to walmart for a prescription. I was in a hurry so i ran inside and as i did, i passed a young girl (about 6 yrs old) and she giggled loud & pointed at me and said "Look mom at that really fat woman!" It shocked me so much i stopped dead in my tracks and turned around only to see the MOM laughing along with her daughter!! Let me tell you: i was incredibly hurt but also p!ssed! I thought for a second to give this woman and her brat a public (4 letter word filled) tongue lashing but in the end...i really *was* in a hurry & couldnt spare a second schooling these imbeciles on proper manners so i went on my way...

Another time in elementry school i was at the lunch line when a student lunch server (a boy from my class) said to me really loud, as he scooped mashed potatoes on my tray: "Sorry we didnt get your SIDE OF BEEF for lunch! Maybe next time...hahaha..." I was very shy in school & i didnt say a word, just kept walking, but i could hear the kids laughing behind me. I didnt say anything to the boy even though i knew ppl picked on him for "being gay" and "acting like a girl". It just made me more sad that someone who was being bullied would bully other kids. :(

CRIT524's Photo CRIT524 Posts: 7,786
9/20/11 2:37 P

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Janvi-when I started this thread I had no idea it would be som important and meaningful. I have sat and read these to "thin" coworkers. They are always shocked and hopefully it keeps them from making the same mistake.

__________________________________________ _____________
Overweight, fatigued, frumpy woman looking for thin, energetic, sexy woman within.
-cecelia


Alton Bay Old Home Day 5k 8/14/10 47.07
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JANVIVALDI's Photo JANVIVALDI Posts: 151
9/20/11 10:10 A

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This has got to be one of the most powerful topic idea's I have seen since becoming a sparker...1st it allows healing 2nd it allows people to stop feeling sorry for themselves because it makes us realize that we are not alone in our pain 3rd it is just cleansing. Thank you for posting this idea! There are so many that I could write...but what r the most powerful...hhmmm
1-a neighbor Bill Saying do you know your gorgeous...no really your not just pretty your gorgeous...well you would be if you would loose weight...I'm telling you the boys would be breaking down your door
2-Steve (who at the time I was in love with) I like you, I really do, a lot but we have a problem...women are like trophy's on a man's arm and well ya know that is why I can't ever let this go further
3-my boyfriend visiting me after a near fatal car accident leaving from his house...my cupcake is gonna turn into a whole cake if you keep eating that way
and the one that really changed things for me....when i over heard a guy telling his friend...if you want a sure thing go for the fat chick...they are so desperate they will sleep with anyone.
I am sure that had the totally opposite effect then what they hoped. I did find that a large # of the men I encountered believed this...but not all of them and it made me realize that I had choices and I ended up having the time of my life with that...it gave me strength to turn them down...to hold out...to demand I be respected because I was after all a human being with feelings and worthy of respect.

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SMCVAY1973's Photo SMCVAY1973 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/13/11 10:44 P

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*sigh* that look from my soon to be ex husband, anytime I was eating anything that wasn't good for me. Meanwhile he could lay on the couch with a bag of chips, and remain thin, I got 'the face'. I dislike that face.

"Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew."

Charles Dickens


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LIKEALIONESS's Photo LIKEALIONESS SparkPoints: (1,743)
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9/9/11 12:43 A

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I've heard many things also. The worst is always from family but the one "random person" insult that has stuck with me (mostly because it was insulting and yet somehow funny) is:

I was shopping with my partner and one of my best friends (who is also plus sized) in a department store. The store was having a sales event and we were combing over the sale racks. We realized that they contained nothing in our sizes so my friend walks up to the sales woman (who is maybe a size 2) and said, "excuse me, where are the plus sizes located?" The woman looks the two of us up and down and responds "oohhh, you must want the BIG ones. Well, the BIG ones are upstairs. That's where they keep them." The way she drew out the ooohhhh and the way she said "big" and "big ones", made my partner laugh. Which made my friend and I laugh. But after we left the area my partner felt a little upset at how we were treated and my friend and I just felt a bit sad and embarrassed. Now I just think it is funny but it always sticks in my mind. Whenever I can't find clothing in my size, I always think "the big ones must be upstairs".

Edited by: LIKEALIONESS at: 9/9/2011 (00:46)
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TIMETOGETTHIN's Photo TIMETOGETTHIN SparkPoints: (5,463)
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9/8/11 3:29 P

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ugh it makes me ill reading all these and thinking about how horribly rude people can be.

I gained 65 lbs in under a year in university, going from a healthy BMI to obese, and my bf told me that all his friends are telling him to dump me because i'm too fat now, but he wasn't going to listen to them. I endured another 4 years living with him, while my self esteem went down the tubes, hearing things like I'm the best you are ever going to get", and believing him for too long.

Finally coming to my senses I dumped him and moved away. Did the online dating thing, and had several dates tell me that they thought I was thinner from my pics and that they couldnt date me again because I wasnt fit enough for them. I am happy that all those didnt work out in the end though, because I ended up finding someone who loves me for me, and married him in July 2009. Getting in shape will be an added bonus ;)

Had a nun last year ask me at church, beaming: "It looks like you have some news??" based on my non-pregnant belly. (I did end up getting pregnant the next month however!!), Just last week was out with a friend who is 6 months pregnant, and were at a party talking to this other girl about pregnancy. She asked me when I was due again (drunk enough to forget it was my friend who was pregnant).

All this has fueled my desire to get this weight off for good!!!!


Mini Goals:

209 - 25 lbs lost (DONE! 6/11/12)
199 - Into Onederland
184 - 50 lbs lost
169 - Out of "Obese" Category
159 - 75 lbs lost
141 - In "Normal" range BMI
134 - 100 lbs lost
130 - GOAL


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SARAHFL77's Photo SARAHFL77 Posts: 57
9/8/11 1:51 P

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Although I'm sure there are many more, a few stick out for me..

A few years ago I was in the grocery store putting milk into my cart. I no longer remember why I was getting so many, but I got like 5 or 6 gallons.. it was probably on sale or something. Anyway a man with two younger boys walked nearby and I heard him very loudly say to them "Look at the cow buying all that milk!" then he laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.. I remember the older boy, probably in his teens, laughing and making moo-ing sounds at me, but most of all I remember the way the younger boy, probably 8 or 9, looked at me with sadness in his eyes like he was apologizing for them. :(

Years ago when I first started really packing it on, I went on a merry go round with my oldest daughter... she was probably 5 then. I put her on a horse and went to get on the horse next to her. It was one of the first times I realized just how bad my weight had gotten, because the guy running it ran over to me screaming "No! No! You too big! You sit here!!" while pointing at the bench... pretty embarrassing...

This past May during one of last weeks of school I was riding my bike through my neighborhood. Middle school had just gotten out, and a group of boys walking home started yelling at me.... horrible, nasty names that I don't even want to type. Fat was the least of it.. It took all my willpower not to say anything back. :/

My oldest daughter told me when she was around 7 that she loves me even though I'm fat. LOL I've had kids say silly stuff like that before, like "Man, you're fat!" Thanks kid, I didn't notice. LOL

~Sarah
They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself ~ Andy Warhol


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ALORA23's Photo ALORA23 SparkPoints: (6,601)
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9/2/11 11:54 P

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I have had comments in the past but I honestly don't remember them too well. Although, the worst things are from my own family because they go on and on. My dad loves to comment on women who shouldn't be out in public - not me but other fatties. "hello, I'm your obese daughter. What the hell makes you think it is okay to deride others?"

No one has ever asked me if I'm pregnant - even when I was. I think maybe this is because I'm so short and have very large breasts that makes it difficult for others to get a clue.
I hope all of you have been able to get rid of this tremendous emotional baggage now that you have laid it out here for the rest of the community to read. I appreciate these awful, yet sometimes a little funny life experiences, because they inspire me to keep going on my journey too.

Recently, I was down 70 pounds and now I'm back up to 330+. While I try to block out other people when I am in public, it is impossible to ignore every pair of eyes I pass. I see the disgust on their faces, some openly staring at me as I try to hold my head up and walk past them. It is very hard, and only makes it harder to love the body I'm in, you know? Anyway, I'll get back there and I have confidence we all will. emoticon

Edited by: ALORA23 at: 9/2/2011 (23:57)




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HISTORYBUFF1980's Photo HISTORYBUFF1980 SparkPoints: (4,563)
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9/1/11 3:04 P

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From yesteryears..

Do you know how pretty you would be if you weren't so FAT?

I'd so date you if you would just take care of yourself.

Dad: "waddle, waddle, waddle" as I walked into the kitchen

I can honestly say I haven't had any major picks recently although there is an inner voice that always makes me think that people whisphering and giggling around me are talking about my weight.

But...

I am in the pool with my 3 year old niece. "Why are you so fat?" she asks. I told her, "because I eat too much and don't play enough"...she thought about this for awhile. Her mom then tells her to get out of the pool so she can eat lunch. She shook her head and said, "no, I don't want to be FAT like Aunt Jen". Ouch.

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OKIEGIRL75's Photo OKIEGIRL75 SparkPoints: (12,410)
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9/1/11 10:40 A

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My mother told me when I was in high school once that if I gained any more weight that my skin would rip open. Mind you at the time I was about 170 lbs. Only 16 pounds overweight. I knew she knew I was unhappy with my weight but man really? I think the thing that was worse than that she got me a subscription to some weight loss magazine. I was an average weight child. I didn't have a real weight problems until I started having kids and never lost my pregnancy weight. Now I would give just to be 16 pounds over weight.

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THIMECULES's Photo THIMECULES SparkPoints: (1,966)
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8/29/11 1:56 P

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The worst is when children, under ten just say what's on their mind. "Why are you fat?" I don't have a response, I just turn away in shame. One reason I won't go anywhere.



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GWEN4REAL's Photo GWEN4REAL Posts: 569
8/29/11 9:30 A

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When I was only about 10 years old and chubby already, my grandmother would bug me about my weight. One summer I'd been eating well and swimming and I'd lost 10 lbs (not too shabby for probably only being 25 lbs overweight at the time). When I went to visit my grandmother I couldn't wait to tell her!
So I did... and how did she respond?

"oh...well... now you need to lose 10 more"

OMG did my heart sink and pride deflate... thanks for the congratulations grandma! Way to inspire me and make me feel good about my efforts! Oy...

- Gwen

"Results achieved in a short term result in short-term results."
- me

"If hunger isn't the problem, then food is not the answer."

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
- Will Rogers


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LISALPETRIE's Photo LISALPETRIE SparkPoints: (7,895)
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8/24/11 11:02 A

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My mother told me I would never find a husband because I was too fat. Luckily, she was wrong!

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RESALC75 Posts: 3
8/21/11 2:34 P

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Oh, boy where do I begin. I have several incidents of people talking about my weight, however it never bothered me in school. I was still pretty and always had a boyfriend. In my twenties I worked at places where I might pass a huddle of guys and they would make comments about me being fat, and say that one of them said he likes me. I would just keep walking and let it roll off like water. Now i am in my thirties and at 36 my little boy (8yrs.old) tells me he wants me to lose weight cause it is unhealthy. He helps me with my diabetic & high blood pressure medication, he tries to watch what I eat & drink and encourages me to exercise. He has had to defend me against his cousins comments about my weight and tells them no matter what she is still beautiful. My son is my inspiration & I hope he never stops pushing me.

A crude motivating experience for me was when I met this guy online. Right away we hit it off. After three weeks of talking on the phone we finally decided to meet. When I him saw I thought he was gorgeous, but he told me I was heavier than he imagined. After I left he called me and said we could be friends and nothing more. I was so hurt but, i continued to talk to him. Every comment was about my weight. He would ask me questions like " How do you feel when you go out in public? When was the last time you had a boyfriend? Don't you get tired of people talking about you? How could you live with yourself? I began to really hate this guy and I realized that this anger that I felt towards him motivated me to begin to lose weight. So,I joined a gym. He would call when I was at the gym working out and I would tell him I have to go I am working out so I can rub it in your face a@$#$le. Finally, he came around and asked to take me out, I told him I could never go out with someone as shallow as him.I haven't heard from that creep since.



Edited by: RESALC75 at: 8/21/2011 (14:38)
DRKRMARTIST's Photo DRKRMARTIST SparkPoints: (0)
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8/4/11 6:07 P

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Some of the things people say to overweight people are so bad....I'm sure I have been told some things but most of the time I just let it slide off me. I do get a lot of stares and giggles though..mostly when I go on post (my husband is retired military). That is when I pass up their slow butts walking. This fat chick can move. Or when I say I go for a walk then talk about how many miles I walked people think I am lying. Yes, some fat people can walk long distances...very long distances...very quickly. Things like that make me more mad than what people say.

The only thing that really sticks out in my head was long ago when I was walking on the treadmill (4mph) at a gym on post a soldier going ever so slowly leaning back relaxing on a bike said under his breath but loud enough so I could hear "you ain't gonna lose that fat a$$ by just walking...what a f(&*ing joke..what a lazy b(&*h"

A few of his soldiers thought I would get jealous if he went to see strippers because I am fat. OK...I'm not the jealous sort so if you want to go look at girls taking their clothes off for money go right ahead...just don't get mad as I check out the hot young guys with no shirts on working out emoticon They actually had him call me ( he would never call from work) to tell me he was going to see strippers (he doesn't like strippers anyway) to see what my reaction really would be. I had no idea I was on speaker phone. They told him that they thought I would be jealous because I was fat..he wasn't assuming it. My answer on the phone "why are you telling me this.you know ou can go if you want to..you want me to pick you up some $1's?" So that shut down his soldier's thoughts of fat women jealous of their men seeing strippers. emoticon I know every time we would move somewhere at first I would get things like this from his soldiers..but after they met me they would quit saying stuff to my husband and don't give the looks or giggles. They find out my mouth is bigger than theirs, I'm not a lazy person, I am not all fat because fat can't lift what I can which sometimes is just as much or more than them and I have to slow down for them to keep up with me walking...or they have to jog.



Edited by: DRKRMARTIST at: 8/4/2011 (18:19)
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PHOTOKISSA78's Photo PHOTOKISSA78 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/4/11 2:38 P

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I like this idea as a dumping ground for our yucky moments!!

1. When I was in middle school, I was riding my bike home from a friends, and these boys in a car yelled out the window, "You'd be hot if you weren't so fat!"

2. In college I was at a concert and this guy comes up to me..wraps his arm around my shoulder like he was a friend, looks at me, pushes me away, and then goes "Fat ass." I was so flabergasted I couldn't even respond.

3. I had a group of guy friends in college who had a skinny blond friend with the same name as me. They referred to her as "Hot (my name)", and I was just "my name." How did they not realize that was SO insulting??? Actually to both she and I.

Generally, I've been able to kind of just let these things roll off of me...but it feels really good to just let them out. People are jerks.

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KARENDEE4's Photo KARENDEE4 SparkPoints: (31,095)
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8/3/11 9:25 P

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This is such a good idea!!!
There are many but this is one.

It happened a few years ago at my Dad's funeral. I had not seen my Aunt since I was a kid. She said, "Your face still looks like the same old Karen even though you got big"
I was sad enough already. Now you see why I had not seen her in so many years.

PHEW Much better.

Karen


...
Karen



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MARRUSH123's Photo MARRUSH123 Posts: 213
7/28/11 12:28 P

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pandamom- That's exactly what I said!! I could tell that by me harping on it though and making comments like that didn't help, so I just stopped talking about it and told him that I was extremely proud of him for just going and putting himself out there. The conversation has dropped in the house now...and I don't think we'll be watching the show again. They are definitely not the show they advertise themselves to be though... it's not all about the voice...

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7/27/11 1:50 P

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Oh my gosh MARRUSH123, I feel so terrible for you husband. They didn't tell Frenchie, or two other of the guys (forget their names) that made it to the end last season that they were too big. What a shame!

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

"Well, it seems once again you're caught between a rock and a crazy place." - Leonard, Big Bang Theory


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CRGARDNER1's Photo CRGARDNER1 Posts: 818
7/24/11 6:51 P

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@ Marrush- First, congrats on having a husband who is so talented and brave.

What happened to your husband was definetly WRONG.

It is unfortunate that we live in a society that judges people on the way they look and not on who they are and what they do. And it is sad that those judges felt image meant more than talent.

I wish your husband future succes with his singing!

Charity
From California (Pacific Time Zone)

BLC 25 Starting Weight: 261.9

BLC 25 Goal Weight: 237.9
instagram.com/adventures_in_weight_l
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MARRUSH123's Photo MARRUSH123 Posts: 213
7/23/11 6:27 P

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crgardner- Those are awful comments, and must have hurt you deeply. To think that people are so selfish and loveless to say things like that is just saddening. You are a beautiful person, we are all beautiful children.

I am dropping off an incident for my husband that happened today, because I'm hurting for him right now.

After months of waiting my husband went today to audition for the new musiv tv show "The Voice." For those who don't know about it, it's similar to American Idol. Well, he went for his audition and sang in front of the first set of screeners. They told him he had a great voice and wanted him to audition for the next level of screeners. So he took his packet and the paper to move on, and sang his next song for them. The second set of screeners told him that he had an amazing voice and probably would be exactly what they were looking for on the show.... HOWEVER.... he was too heavy. They didn't feel his size would appeal to their audience so they encouraged him to lose some weight and come back next year to audition again. My husband does need to lose some weight, but at 6'2" and 290 lbs, he's not horrific nor is he ugly. He has exactly the voice that they want... but are going to discriminate against him. I think it's ridiculous and I could cry right now over the whole thing...because it's wrong. UGH!

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CRGARDNER1's Photo CRGARDNER1 Posts: 818
7/23/11 6:27 A

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As an adult I experience more exclusion and invisibility than direct comments. I know people talk behind my back but no one really has the guts to say it to my face.

The worst comments I received about my weight actually happened from my preteens to early 20’s.

The worst comments:

1.When I was 11, my adult neighbor’s 80 year old rusted fence fell over and he tried to get my family to replace it by stating that my “fat a**” must have leaned on it and caused it to fall over. He later blamed me for cracks in his concrete driveway because “every time I walked down the street it felt like an earthquake”.

2.When I was 13 (and a size 13) my aunt bought me a women’s XXXX sweater for Christmas. While opening the present, she told the rest of the family “If Charity isn’t already a 4X then she will be a 4X soon”. And it was “So sad that she is so fat because she could be so pretty if she lost 80 – 100 lbs”.

3.In high school, my English teacher told the entire class that success in life was based on being attractive and popular. And because I was so heavy I would never be successful, never be married, and never have friends as an adult.


4.My first serious boyfriend told me that he must have really grown as a person because he would have never dated someone who looked like me when he was younger. In fact, he wouldn’t have even talked to me in high school. And that I was lucky to be with someone that could overlook my physical appearance even though it repulsed and embarrassed him.



Charity
From California (Pacific Time Zone)

BLC 25 Starting Weight: 261.9

BLC 25 Goal Weight: 237.9
instagram.com/adventures_in_weight_l
oss#



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7/21/11 2:16 P

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Fluff - I feel your pain. I was in Wisconsin of all places and at a conference where everyone's taking the stairs and running before the first meeting and other stupid things.
Oh you're taking the elevator (pity look)
Really its just 4 flights up (totally confused look)

several years back i had to have an MRI. I did the two robe look one in the back then one in the front but had to go to a different hospital so i could get into a tube that was 30% bigger. like being shoved in a tube isn't bad enough then they had to embarrass me about the weight.

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7/15/11 11:59 P

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Only have about 5 mins, but wanted to say thanks for the replies.
Moving is impossible, at least for now. Packing up and moving across the globe isn't the easiest thing to do. Back in Canada I would still be big, and jobless. Although I suppose I could lose lots if I had to eat out of dumpsters.
Although everyday can be torture for a 300 lb woman here, I hope that once I've gotten that initial motivation I can turn being surrounded by thin, healthy people into a positive thing. Some feel it is their mission to help me lose weight. They're not all evil. They just aren't used to people my size. Mind you, since the influx of western fast food like McDonald's, pizza and fried chicken, and snacks like chocolate, ice cream and potato chips, they are starting to see obesity more and more. Luckily because of this there are fat-free and sugar-free products available.
Well, my five mins are up.
Have a great day !
Thanks again!


CRIT524's Photo CRIT524 Posts: 7,786
7/15/11 2:45 P

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" The size 0 one is sweet because she just keeps her mouth shut. " LMAO yup, that about sums it up

__________________________________________ _____________
Overweight, fatigued, frumpy woman looking for thin, energetic, sexy woman within.
-cecelia


Alton Bay Old Home Day 5k 8/14/10 47.07
Run/Walk for Books 8/21/10 46.12




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SALEMGRL's Photo SALEMGRL SparkPoints: (10,931)
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7/15/11 2:38 P

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Oh, Fluffy, I cannot imagine the horror of being only surrounded by tiny people!! It sucks enough because my three closest co-workers are size 0, 7, and 10. The two larger ones complain all the time about how they need to lose weight. The size 0 one is sweet because she just keeps her mouth shut.

I could not live in South Korea or Japan where I would be like six inches taller and twice as big as everyone.

~~Amy


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