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LORI*48's Photo LORI*48 SparkPoints: (3,845)
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1/21/09 3:09 P

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An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there was not a God.

He said, "God if you are real, then I dare you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

Ten minutes went by He kept taunting God, saying, "Here I am God, I'm still waiting" He got down to the last couple of minutes and a BIG 240 pound football player happened to walk by the door and heard what the professor said. The football player walked in the class room and in the last minute, he walked up, hit the professor full force, and sent him flying off the platform.

The professor got up, obviously shaken and said, "Wow, where did you come from and why did you do that?"

The football player replied, "God was busy, so He sent me!"

DO NOT TEMPT THE LORD THY GOD !!!



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"You aren't an accident. You weren't mass-produced. You weren't an assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman" ~Max Lucado



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PRENDERGASTM's Photo PRENDERGASTM Posts: 3,868
12/31/08 10:06 A

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Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60..
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years......just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them



“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

"Maya Angelou"


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KELLKAT's Photo KELLKAT Posts: 2,227
12/30/08 10:41 P

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I'm blonde, so I'm allowed to tell blonde jokes...
(and this one is good for all of us who are having to deal with the snowy, icy roads!)

This blonde is learning how to drive and her dad tells her that one of the most importnat things she can do to be safe when it's snowing is to get behind a snow plow. So, after she gets her license, she is out driving on a snowy day. She looks around for a snow plow and when she sees one, she gets over and gets behind it. She follows it for some time, and finally the driver comes to a stop, gets out and walks back to where the blonde has stopped behind him. He asks what she is doing, and if there is anything wrong. She assures him everything is okay and explains what her father told her about staying safe in snowy weather. She finishes by asking if it is okay if she continues to follow him. "Sure," he says ,"but I'm about finished here at WalMart. Then I'm going over to do the K-Mart lot."

Drive safe everyone!!!
emoticon

I'm just saying... Kelley


“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.” - Richard Bach


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LORI*48's Photo LORI*48 SparkPoints: (3,845)
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12/30/08 7:41 P

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This is a place to post things to make us laugh! Laughter is an important part of a healthy lifestyle!

Just be sure to keep it clean! emoticon

Co-leader: Sharing Healthy Recipes teams.sparkpeople.com/sharinghealthy
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Leader: Parents of kids with Craniofacial conditions
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"You aren't an accident. You weren't mass-produced. You weren't an assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman" ~Max Lucado



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