Yea, things seem to really bother me worse when I am in a lot of pain. I guess part of the problem is that I am expected to just do it no matter how I feel. If they are not feeling well they can lay in bed all day. I still have to get up and take the dog out! Even if I can't stand up straight.
I increased my pain meds by one today to see if it helps. I was up all night last night and have not been able to sleep today. I am hoping that the extra pain pill will help me sleep a little tonight, that along with just being so tired.
My husband has not helped much during our marriage. He did at first then he went through his rituals until he has not helped for years now. He doesn't do outside work either. I use to do the yard work too, but I can't anymore. I have to have someone else do it now. It's just that the house being dirty makes me upset and I can't seem to keep up with it by myself now. Especially with pets in the house. It does not bother him enough to help.
I can't go off on my husband because he is bi-polar. If I would go off on him it would make my life even more miserable. He is very vindictive.
He waits for an excuse to stop helping. This is how his mind works, then he feels completely justified to not help due to some perceived wrong on my part. If I don't give him a reason, he makes sure to do something to where I question him.
He does that with housework, or what ever he does not want to do, or loses interest in and does not want to do anymore, including working. He could not hold a job. I think the longest he kept a job was two years. Then he would do something to get fired or if that didn't work and they did not fire him, he would just quit. He has left each job on bad terms with the employer due to this.
This is how our marriage has been, from one crisis to another, usually caused by him.
We tried counseling and it did not help. He says he knows more than those "quacks" and besides, he does not tell the truth. It was a waste of money and time. He was a psychology major in college, but dropped out before he got his degree. but he still knows more than they do.
| current weight: 160.0