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SEARCHER7105's Photo SEARCHER7105 Posts: 8
9/21/09 1:14 A

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Yea, things seem to really bother me worse when I am in a lot of pain. I guess part of the problem is that I am expected to just do it no matter how I feel. If they are not feeling well they can lay in bed all day. I still have to get up and take the dog out! Even if I can't stand up straight.

I increased my pain meds by one today to see if it helps. I was up all night last night and have not been able to sleep today. I am hoping that the extra pain pill will help me sleep a little tonight, that along with just being so tired.

My husband has not helped much during our marriage. He did at first then he went through his rituals until he has not helped for years now. He doesn't do outside work either. I use to do the yard work too, but I can't anymore. I have to have someone else do it now. It's just that the house being dirty makes me upset and I can't seem to keep up with it by myself now. Especially with pets in the house. It does not bother him enough to help.

I can't go off on my husband because he is bi-polar. If I would go off on him it would make my life even more miserable. He is very vindictive.

He waits for an excuse to stop helping. This is how his mind works, then he feels completely justified to not help due to some perceived wrong on my part. If I don't give him a reason, he makes sure to do something to where I question him.

He does that with housework, or what ever he does not want to do, or loses interest in and does not want to do anymore, including working. He could not hold a job. I think the longest he kept a job was two years. Then he would do something to get fired or if that didn't work and they did not fire him, he would just quit. He has left each job on bad terms with the employer due to this.

This is how our marriage has been, from one crisis to another, usually caused by him.

We tried counseling and it did not help. He says he knows more than those "quacks" and besides, he does not tell the truth. It was a waste of money and time. He was a psychology major in college, but dropped out before he got his degree. but he still knows more than they do.

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LINDALOO80's Photo LINDALOO80 SparkPoints: (23,791)
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9/20/09 10:23 P

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I"m sorry to hear of your double troubles. When things like that happen to me, I tend to "vent" at my hubby and he gets the point. Well, actually I go off the deep end, but it works, and I usually only have to do it once every ten years or so. Is there someone you could ask to mediate with your family to get you the help you need? Just wondering...

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IDCLARE's Photo IDCLARE Posts: 372
9/20/09 4:59 A

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Boy do I understand where you are coming from. I have had many, many days and nights, mostly nights, like you are having. I also seem to get upset over everything more deeply when I'm in pain. I get upset but when I can't get rid of my pain everything that goes wrong, doesn't get done except by me or just plain laziness by others just makes me want to scream even more. Being in pain escalates everything doesn't it? I know things will be better for you tomorrow especially in the pain department. Any time you need to vent please do so. That is what we are here for. My prayers and thoughts are with you and believe me I can relate.
Hugs,
Clare
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P.S. I just thought I'd try and give you some food that's good for you.

God Bless You, Clare

Proud member of Spark Power, Clean House Fans, Chronic Pain Warriors, Dealing With Depression, Spine Injuries and General Back Pain.



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SEARCHER7105's Photo SEARCHER7105 Posts: 8
9/20/09 4:16 A

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It's one of those flare up days...I have felt achy all day, more than usual. The pain meds don't even feel like I took them. I have been in bed most all of the day and when I do that it seems to make the pain even worse. My low back and legs are driving me crazy, I can't lay still. So I am here on the computer at 3:45 am trying to be quiet so the rest of the house can sleep.

I have not cooked today, so I resorted to the junk food that the rest of the household HAS to have! Would anyone offer to make ME anything? I am in pain and now I feel bad because I ate that junk. If I don't cook...we don't eat. God help us if I go down and can not get back up, we will all starve to death! They keep junk food in the house to eat so when I don't cook they can just eat that and not have to prepare anything. Instead of asking if I need help we just don't eat.

We have been expecting a package this week and it did not come, so the hubs called to track it and then we find out the UPS has tried to deliver it Thurs and Fri. I canned some of the garden produce and I am just keeping the garden cleaned up now. I am taking any produce I pick now, to the local food bank. I had to go return books to the library on Thurs, that were overdue, because again...no one else can do it but me. Then on Fri I took the produce to the food bank, so I was out for a short time both days. My husband was home both days. Do you think he would get up to answer the door? No, that's my job too. Then he gets upset that "we" missed them.

Can you tell I am in pain and upset? Upset that I ate the junk food? and that I live with lazy bums? I just needed to vent a minute.

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