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12/21/14 1:58 P

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What has one eye but cannot see? A hurricane.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/21/14 1:30 P

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What has one eye but cannot see? A needle.

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12/20/14 10:16 A

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I confess, I needed help to get that one! Hee, hee, hee!

My brother is a vegetarian. I was thinking about becoming one, too; but I decided it was a missed steak.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/19/14 6:45 P

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Think: What yo do when you can't thwim. emoticon

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12/18/14 7:00 P

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The fisherman tried boxing, but he only threw hooks.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/18/14 6:22 A

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ahem....

Did you know the one about the amateur fisherman? He did it just for the halibut.

Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 12/19/2014 (18:44)
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12/18/14 1:58 A

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Did you know that the president of that rope company has a couple kids? They took rope to school with them so they could skip out of their classes.

emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/17/14 5:29 P

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Hah!! I just groaned on that one!!

Sign in window of a rope company: If You Can't Afford a Clothes Dryer, Ask About Our Credit Line.

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12/15/14 8:59 P

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My friend brought me a Swedish cake. A burglar broke in, and the cake was Stollen.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/15/14 5:37 P

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What does a hungry termite say when it strolls into a tavern? "Hi! Is the bar tender here?"

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/13/14 6:44 P

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Did you go to the police auction? I heard it was a real bust!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/13/14 4:12 P

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Auction: Where you get something for nodding.

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12/12/14 9:33 P

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The baseball player was on his way home from work when his wife called to ask him to make a short stop at the store for milk and bread.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/12/14 8:30 P

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Mickey: "hey, Yogi! What's that big wooden thing over your fireplace?"

Yogi: "Why, that's a mantel, Mickey."

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12/12/14 1:53 A

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I was going to tell a joke about infinity, but it didn't have an ending.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/10/14 6:38 P

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Sign on travel agency window: We Mean It When We say We Want You To Go Away!

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12/10/14 12:40 P

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My dermatologist is a great gardener, but she has a problem with moles.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/9/14 5:18 P

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When does a gardener call a plumber? When the leeks sprout!

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12/9/14 11:07 A

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Little Jimmy: I want to drive an Army tank when I grow up.

Daddy: I won't stand in your way!



The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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LOSINGIT26104's Photo LOSINGIT26104 Posts: 200
12/9/14 6:47 A

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Dear Santa,
This year, Iím again requesting a fat bank account and a small body. Please donít mix them up like you did last year!
emoticon


Lori in WV
The act of failing itself does not make me a failure. Only failing to begin again can do that.


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12/9/14 6:33 A

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Wowser!!!!!!!!!

Did you hear about the terrible accident at sea?

A pink cruise ship collided with a purple cruise ship!

All the passengers were marooned.....

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12/9/14 1:58 A

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Did you hear about the lumberjack whose nickname was Barry the Hatchet?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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VPT218's Photo VPT218 Posts: 56
12/8/14 3:55 P

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What kind of tree fits in your hand?

.... a PALM tree (courtesy of my grandson at age 4)

emoticon

All goals start with "go"!

You don't always get what you wish for, but you get what you work for.



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12/8/14 2:39 P

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What did Mr. yo-yo say to Ms. Top?
"May I take you out for a spin?"

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12/7/14 2:18 P

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. . . . over and over and over and over and over and over . . . .! emoticon

The Vietnam vet wouldn't help the grandkids color Easter eggs, but he did give them a snack of cottage cheese. Old soldiers never dye; they just feed some whey.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/7/14 8:42 A

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One of he privileges of old age is to relate experiences that nobody will believe and give advice that nobody will follow.

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12/6/14 11:50 P

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My husband's dad spends a lot of time in the bathroom. He's my father-in-loo.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/6/14 9:03 A

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Make your wife happy,it's easily done. Remember her birthday, but forget which one.

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12/5/14 1:12 A

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Last year Daddy asked little Susie what she would like for Christmas. Susie replied, "Oh, what I want more than anything is a baby brother!"

This year, while baby brother is cooing and gurgling in the other room, Daddy asks Susie what she wants for Christmas. Susie says, "Well, if it wouldn't be too uncomfortable for Mommy, I believe I would like a pony!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/4/14 4:40 P

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Why is a rainy day hard for he mother of a kangaroo?
Because her joey has to play inside!

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12/3/14 2:37 A

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For Christmas, let's get together, build a fire, and play games. We can be chess nuts roasting by an open fire.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
12/1/14 11:53 P

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My grandmother was buying a fir tree for Christmas, when she was almost handcuffed because she was all spruced up wearing her favorite fox neckpeice, and the guy running the tree yard didn't understand when another shopper said, "I love your fur stole."

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12/1/14 5:13 P

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Before I go to buy a Christmas tree, I think I'll get spruced up.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/30/14 1:58 P

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What did the cabinetmaker say to the other cabinetmaker?
"We have to find sometime for our shelves."

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11/30/14 9:58 A

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Yikes! emoticon I'd be running pretty fast if I were a survivor!

He who survives embalming truly has esprit de corpse.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
11/29/14 1:15 P

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A plane crashes on an international border. Where do you bury the survivors?

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11/29/14 8:29 A

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Fence company: Let us picket your house or place of business.

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11/28/14 6:49 P

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Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A: The "g."

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/28/14 2:46 P

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Billy: "My daddy shot this moose and put its' head on the wall."
Susie: "Can I go in the next room and see the rest of it?"

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11/26/14 1:45 P

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Minnehaha: A very,very small joke.

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11/24/14 11:17 P

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Too true!

I like political jokes . . . until they get elected.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/24/14 1:59 P

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Stupidity kills.

If an electric train is traveling south, which way is the smoke going?

There's no smoke. It's an electric train!

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11/23/14 7:08 P

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Is it better to be healthy than wise? Being sick costs you money, but you can be stupid for free.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/23/14 7:00 A

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What game do retailers play?
Price tag.

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11/22/14 3:50 P

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If a monk throws a hissy fit, is it a temple tantrum?

(I went to a monastery on pilgrimage earlier this week. Not one monk threw a hissy fit while I was there!)

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/21/14 2:26 P

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Sign at Happy Farms Vegetables: Eat our corn on the cob and you'll smile from ear to ear!
emoticon

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TREKPURRSON's Photo TREKPURRSON Posts: 568
11/20/14 9:14 P

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emoticon Dogs have masters. Cats have staff! emoticon emoticon

Jesus take my life and lead me on.

Have fun and no regrets. Make memories and love without fear. Enjoy life because in the end, the journey is the destination.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert Schweitzer


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11/19/14 5:43 A

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Mea culpa on this one:

What do you call a parrot in a raincoat? Polyunsaturated.

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
11/18/14 11:38 P

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My cousin plays lead guitar in a band called the Hot Chocolates. They say their style is roccoco.

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11/18/14 3:25 P

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Wife: Let's go antiquing today. I'm feeling very Victorian."
Husband: "Forget it. I'm feeling very baroque!"

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11/17/14 4:09 P

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Thanks for the chuckles, everybody!

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11/17/14 3:30 P

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Consider the mosquito as an example. He never gets a slap on the back until he goes to work.

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11/16/14 10:19 P

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Do you know sign language? It's pretty handy.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/16/14 3:50 P

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HANDS down,. that is funny!

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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11/16/14 12:35 A

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Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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11/12/14 4:19 P

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Riddle: If I have it, I don't share it. If I share it, I don't have it. What is it?

Answer: A secret.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
11/12/14 11:26 A

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Makes me think I'll write my will thuswise: "l'm not telling you where I buried the gold."

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11/11/14 3:33 P

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Uncle Joe had the shortest will ever. IT read: "Being of sound mind I spent all my money."

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
11/8/14 11:15 P

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Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. emoticon

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11/8/14 12:20 A

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My momma cat lost her three little boy cats. I had to call missing purr sons.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
11/7/14 10:33 A

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My cat met me at the door as I came home from grocery shopping. She kept crying, "I'm hungry!" And I kept saying, "Not now, I'm stocking the pantry." She pawed at the door, and I let her out into the back yard. Later, I wanted her to come in and enjoy the delicious kibble I had put into her bowl. I stood at the door, crying, "kitty, kitty, kitty" She answered, "Not now, I'm stalking."

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11/7/14 12:40 A

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I was going to buy some soup at the store today, but they were out of stock.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,217
11/5/14 10:32 A

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My brother wants to buy common shares in the Comedy Central channel. He wants some laughing stock himself, but he lives downtown and can't keep farm animals.

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11/4/14 1:23 A

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A farmer's steers did a comedy routine at the club in our town. They were the laughing stock of the whole area.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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JOYGMAWANNABE's Photo JOYGMAWANNABE Posts: 57
11/3/14 10:02 A

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Laughing with you goofies

I am not ashamed of the gospel.....Romans 1:16


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