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1/25/15 9:48 P

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I gave my brother a $3 box of chocolates for Christmas. He just gave me snickers in return.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/25/15 3:29 P

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Personnel Manager: "I see that your birthday is on the 13th of September. May I ask what year?"
Applicant: "Every year."

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/24/15 9:06 P

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When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

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1/24/15 8:07 P

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When it comes to joking about desserts, you really take the cake!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/24/15 8:14 A

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Little Sister: "Johnny, if you eat any more, you will burst!"
Johnny: "Well, pass the cake and get outa the way!"

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1/23/15 12:53 A

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Here's my "pome" for the day:

To the tune of “This Is My Father’s World”

There are kitties everywhere;
And they’re great beyond compare.
They’re very nice;
And they kill fake mice.
They’re the best kitties anywhere!
They love to leave their fur
On our lovely furniture.
You know that’s why they call it FURniture;
That’s where they curl up and purr.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/22/15 6:00 P

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What does an invisible baby drink?

Evaporated milk.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/21/15 11:10 P

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Hee, hee, hee! And then go have a piece of shoe fly pie!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/21/15 4:21 P

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Sign in Acme Sneaker Company: Tie Us,You'll Like Us!
emoticon

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1/21/15 3:02 P

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If you don't understand muses, go to a muse meant park.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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DEBRABANNISTER Posts: 14
1/21/15 12:25 A

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I understand they are hard to find!!! emoticon

500 minutes to a healthier me!!!!!!!!!


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1/21/15 12:06 A

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I was going to buy a camouflage outfit, but I couldn't find one.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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DEBRABANNISTER Posts: 14
1/19/15 12:01 P

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Also WHEN you are going!!!! LOL emoticon

500 minutes to a healthier me!!!!!!!!!


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1/19/15 12:14 A

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A relief map shows where the restrooms are. (That way, you always know where you are going!)

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/18/15 8:35 A

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Most people would rather look backward than forward because it is easier to remember where you have been than to figure out where you are going.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/17/15 9:20 P

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My neighbor just has too many dogs. He's suffering from a roverdose.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/16/15 6:22 P

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Why is one polar bear attracted to another polar bear? Animal magnetism.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/16/15 4:45 P

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When the fog lifts, it won't be mist.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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JEANNERR's Photo JEANNERR Posts: 343
1/16/15 11:00 A

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A young woman was driving in the snow when she remembered her Mother telling her, "If you have to drive in the snow, follow a snow plow." A few minutes later, she saw a snow plow and started to follow. After an hour, the snow plow stopped. The driver got out and walked back to the woman's car. He said, "Lady, you can keep following me if you want, but I have to go across the street and plow the Wal-Mart lot next!"



Jeanne


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1/15/15 4:15 P

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Mother: "Why were you kept after school today, Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "Teacher asked us to write an essay on "The Result of Laziness', and I turned in a blank sheet of paper."

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LOUANNAJEAN54's Photo LOUANNAJEAN54 Posts: 47
1/15/15 3:00 P

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Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.

forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,I press on .....
Philippians 3:12-13


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1/15/15 12:32 A

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Yes-siree! We are owned by two cats!

The small door is for the cats. The large door is the servants' entrance.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TREKPURRSON's Photo TREKPURRSON Posts: 628
1/15/15 12:06 A

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emoticon Did you know?

DOGS have Masters. emoticon

CATS have Staff! emoticon

emoticon

Jesus take my life and lead me on.

Have fun and no regrets. Make memories and love without fear. Enjoy life because in the end, the journey is the destination.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert Schweitzer


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1/14/15 4:19 P

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I think that study is directly related to the study about males who died from blunt force trauma from bathroom scales to the head. emoticon

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DEBRABANNISTER Posts: 14
1/14/15 7:33 A

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Boy isn't that the truth!!!!! emoticon

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RACHAELANN810's Photo RACHAELANN810 Posts: 185
1/13/15 11:11 P

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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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1/13/15 4:29 P

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What do you get when you put overweight sheep in a steam cabinet?

Wool sweaters.

Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 1/13/2015 (16:29)
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1/13/15 11:19 A

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now that is special

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1/12/15 6:48 P

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Do you know why Noah's ark was made out of wood? Noah didn't have an arc welder.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/12/15 2:59 P

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G*R*O*A*N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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RACHAELANN810's Photo RACHAELANN810 Posts: 185
1/12/15 2:28 A

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The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize

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RACHAELANN810's Photo RACHAELANN810 Posts: 185
1/12/15 2:22 A

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NEED AN ARK? I NOAH GUY.

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1/11/15 5:29 P

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Do your male deer all have buck teeth?


The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/11/15 4:49 P

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Jane: "I'm rich! I just bought 50 female pigs and 50 male deer."
Joan: "And what do you expect to get from that?"
Jane: "Expect? Nothing! I've already got a hundred sows and bucks!"

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/11/15 4:32 P

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A butcher tried to take his comedy routine to a club, but he just didn't make the cut.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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-A-NEW-ME's Photo -A-NEW-ME SparkPoints: (2,823)
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1/10/15 12:36 P

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ha,ha,ha...I read about 9 posts and now I'm laughing...thanks

Aloha, Lisa


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1/7/15 5:22 P

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Hee, hee, hee!

I got stung by a bee. Now I have hives.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/7/15 3:39 P

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So glad it helped you!!

What do you get if a bee falls into the meat grinder? A little humburger.
emoticon

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/7/15 12:29 A

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emoticon

Did you hear about the seismologists' meeting? There were several motions.

Oh! Do you know the quickest way to get rid of a contractor? Hire him! emoticon

Edited by: WHITECAT19 at: 1/7/2015 (00:35)
The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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DEBRABANNISTER Posts: 14
1/6/15 10:43 P

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You two should take your comedy on the road! emoticon . I had a bad day dealing with a contractor and I opened to Laughter Corner and what do you know I'M LAUGHING!!!! Thanks emoticon

500 minutes to a healthier me!!!!!!!!!


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1/6/15 4:21 P

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A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/4/15 10:26 P

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If you go out and leave your alphabet soup on the stove, it could spell disaster!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/4/15 7:42 A

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Mother teaching her son the alphabet: "Now, what comes after the letter "G"?"

Tommy: "Whiz!"

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1/2/15 9:30 P

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The grammarian had a great store of wisdom and a lot of comma sense.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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1/2/15 12:40 P

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Nostalgia buff: Someone who finds the past perfect and the present tense.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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1/1/15 10:13 A

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The gardener's New Year's resolution: Forget the past and focus on the fuchsia.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/31/14 4:36 P

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Which room is the largest room in he world? The room for improvement.

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12/30/14 7:14 P

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Q: What do hedgehogs eat for breakfast?
A: Prickled eggs.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/30/14 3:35 P

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It's okay to be slightly cracked, so long as you are basically a good egg.

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12/29/14 3:59 P

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Why was the broom having a bad day? She didn't get enough sweep!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/28/14 4:42 P

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hahha...

Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.

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12/28/14 11:17 A

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Hee, hee, hee!

Someone posted a comic showing dogs with wings, and the caption,"Bark, the Hairy Angels Sing." So I completed a verse:

"Bark," the hairy angels sing,
"Give us each a turkey wing!
We want ham and standing rib roast;
Please no veggies, fruit or toast!
We don't need a speck of chocolate,
But we want what's in your pocket
If it's bacon, chops, or cheese;
Hand it over right now, please!
We know cats think they're supreme.
What's that to us? We have ice cream!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/27/14 7:33 P

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Holy .... calf..

A four year old returning from nursery school told his mother he'd learned a new Christmas carol called, "Dick the Horse."
Puzzled, she asked him to sing it.
HE took a big breath and began, "Dick the Horse with boughs of holly,fa la la la la..."

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/26/14 6:24 P

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I have never tipped a cow. But, to be fair, one has never served me food.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/26/14 4:37 P

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Classified Ad: Top executive needed to take charge of mousetrap company. Must be able to make snap decisions.

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12/24/14 4:39 P

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You know you're growing old when they're making the golf balls heavier and putting the flags farther away.

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12/24/14 1:03 A

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Drivers who speed in the snow often find themselves adrift.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/23/14 8:33 P

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Should not have opened this at work.... emoticon

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12/23/14 4:53 P

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You know you're over the hill when opportunity knocks but your hearing aid's turned off.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/21/14 1:58 P

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What has one eye but cannot see? A hurricane.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/21/14 1:30 P

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What has one eye but cannot see? A needle.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/20/14 10:16 A

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I confess, I needed help to get that one! Hee, hee, hee!

My brother is a vegetarian. I was thinking about becoming one, too; but I decided it was a missed steak.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/19/14 6:45 P

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Think: What yo do when you can't thwim. emoticon

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/18/14 7:00 P

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The fisherman tried boxing, but he only threw hooks.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/18/14 6:22 A

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ahem....

Did you know the one about the amateur fisherman? He did it just for the halibut.

Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 12/19/2014 (18:44)
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12/18/14 1:58 A

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Did you know that the president of that rope company has a couple kids? They took rope to school with them so they could skip out of their classes.

emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/17/14 5:29 P

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Hah!! I just groaned on that one!!

Sign in window of a rope company: If You Can't Afford a Clothes Dryer, Ask About Our Credit Line.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/15/14 8:59 P

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My friend brought me a Swedish cake. A burglar broke in, and the cake was Stollen.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
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12/15/14 5:37 P

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What does a hungry termite say when it strolls into a tavern? "Hi! Is the bar tender here?"

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/13/14 6:44 P

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Did you go to the police auction? I heard it was a real bust!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
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12/13/14 4:12 P

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Auction: Where you get something for nodding.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/12/14 9:33 P

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The baseball player was on his way home from work when his wife called to ask him to make a short stop at the store for milk and bread.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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12/12/14 8:30 P

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Mickey: "hey, Yogi! What's that big wooden thing over your fireplace?"

Yogi: "Why, that's a mantel, Mickey."

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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12/12/14 1:53 A

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I was going to tell a joke about infinity, but it didn't have an ending.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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