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9/1/14 4:28 P

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Mary: "For the dance next week, we're asked to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black."

Betty: "Oh dear, I'd better not go!"

(took me a minute to get this one)

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
9/1/14 11:32 A

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At dawn, a damsel ambled across the drawbridge and into the castle. As she passed the guards, she murmured, "oh, what a knight."

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9/1/14 12:15 A

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A weeknight is a tiny jouster.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/31/14 4:06 P

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Every dog has his day. And those with crooked tails have their week ends. emoticon emoticon

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8/31/14 4:05 P

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hearty har har!! Yuppers!! You sure find the cool ones!!

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/31/14 12:49 P

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One black bird to another: bred any good rooks lately?

Sign of a good joke - I've been Pickie'd!

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8/30/14 2:36 P

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Whoa baby!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/30/14 1:13 P

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There's another guy that gets around almost as much while staying in one spot: Frank D. Envelope.

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8/29/14 6:17 P

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What travels around the world, yet stays in one spot?

A postage stamp.

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/28/14 7:26 P

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One Father's Day years ago, my mother wrapped up a belt for my brothers to give to my dad. She wrapped up a pair of socks for my sister and me to give to my dad. Well, it happened that the sons and daughters were sitting on opposite sides of the dinner table, so my dad said, "I have been socked by this side of the table, and belted by that side of the table!"

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8/28/14 5:43 P

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What did the zero say to the number 8? Nice belt!

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/27/14 6:04 P

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These days, top bananas make lots more money than the bunches at the bottom.

Edited by: TENNESSEEWALKER at: 8/27/2014 (18:05)
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8/27/14 4:08 P

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If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?

Slippers.

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/26/14 10:18 P

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Blueberries are red when they're green.

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8/26/14 3:47 P

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What gets wetter the more it dries?

A bath towel.

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8/25/14 3:49 P

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Doctor: "That pain in your leg is caused by old age."

Grandpa: "nonsense! My other leg is the same age and it doesn't hurt at all!"

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/25/14 9:52 A

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Defenestrate: to buy something at a pawn shop.

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8/24/14 2:47 P

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Abdicate: to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/24/14 1:03 P

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Did you hear the one about the veterinarian who was the cat's meow?

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8/23/14 5:21 P

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(Except in certain conditions in forest fires?)

When Curly found out the fire department was charging $75.00 for him to have a table at their craft fair, he told them they could go to blazes.
emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/23/14 4:43 P

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When you're tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/23/14 2:49 P

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As you know, I am taking voice lessons. My teacher and I record the lessons on my celly - what a contrast to the flute lessons of my childhood, when the recording machine would have weighed at least 20 pounds!. Having those recordings are very nice to replay at home for review. Well, as I was practicing at home, I noticed that the cellular has two recording settings! Count them; one: normal voice recoding and two: high quality voice recording. So, my ego says: all those wrong words and notes and odd vocal tones are artifacts of the 'normal' setting not being able to keep up with all that beautiful music washing over it. So, I switch to the high quality setting and give it my best shot. As I am, no doubt, laying this brilliant track into the cell phone archives, the needle is moving and the seconds are adding up. I push 'play,' and I hear 5 seconds of silence, broken only by a random crackle of static. At the 10 second mark, I hear the refrigerator in the kitchen start up. Oh well, that's why I'm taking lessons.

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8/22/14 10:41 P

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The butcher was making cutting remarks about both the ditch-digger and the hypnotist.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/21/14 7:29 P

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Similarly, the hypnotist was entranced by hers.

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8/21/14 12:47 A

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The ditch-digger was entrenched in his career.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/20/14 2:44 A

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A witch was walking down the road when she saw another witch digging the ditch at the side of the road.
"You look tired," said the first witch. "Let me spell you."
"Thank you," said the second witch. "I could do to set a spell."

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8/19/14 7:42 P

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What do you see at the Beijing airport? A whole lot of Chinese checkers.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/19/14 5:47 P

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Teacher: Alec, how do you spell checker?
Smart Alec: I push F5!

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8/19/14 3:56 A

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I don't let the spell-checker change stuff automatically!

Did you hear about the book of incantations that was useless? The author forgot to run a spell check on it.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/17/14 6:38 P

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A hinky-dinky for a Ford Mustang car: phony pony

My favorite Spell-check spoiler is: I type 'baseline' and the spell-check changes it to 'Vaseline.' What's your favorite?

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/16/14 9:14 A

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5,
Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the
first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral
lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my
brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"


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8/15/14 1:47 P

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My grandchildren's principal wants to drop spelling from the curriculum in the school. I suppose she thinks it will suffice for them to rely on Spill-Check!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/14/14 9:41 P

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Seen on a T-shirt: "I don't need Google - my wife knows everything!"

And "years ago I couldn't even spell Injuneer, and now I are one!"

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/14/14 4:01 P

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The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried and old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door. After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his. “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”



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8/14/14 3:12 P

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yer a jeen-yuss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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8/13/14 7:35 P

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Okay, today you are stuck with the song lyrics I wrote for the teachers in my life. It is to be sung to the tune of "B-I-N-G-O."

Somebody said that I cain't spell, so off I go to skool now!
---S-K-O-O-L --- S-K-O-O-L ... S-K-O-O-L ... so off I go to skool now!
Keep summer here, don't want no skool; but off I go to skool now!
---S-K-O-O-L --- S-K-O-O-L ... S-K-O-O-L ... but off I go to skool now!
Olympic pool ain't in my skool, don't wanna go to skool now!
---S-K-O-O-L --- S-K-O-O-L ... S-K-O-O-L ... don't wanna go to skool now!
Old yucky lunch is on my tray, 'cause off I went to skool now!
---S-K-O-O-L --- S-K-O-O-L ... S-K-O-O-L ... 'cause off I went to skool now!
LOVE my teacher! She's so kool! I'm glad I went to skool now!
---S-K-O-O-L --- S-K-O-O-L ... S-K-O-O-L ... I'm glad I went to skool now!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/13/14 1:35 P

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Nine out of ten people will admit being unable to resist chocolate. The tenth person lies.

Good! Consensus is fine, but unanimity is deadly.



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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/13/14 9:40 A

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Tonight on the 6:00 news, a recent poll by "USA Today" showed that 9 out of 10 people said that out of 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9!



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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/13/14 1:12 A

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I'll give you an alibi: nobody was driving - we were all in the back seat drinking.

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8/12/14 5:20 P

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Okay, Whitecat, I think I have enough on you to arrest you for that joke!!!!!!!!WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/12/14 11:14 A

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The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week.

Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week."

"Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?"

"He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday."




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8/12/14 2:42 A

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Did you hear about the high school student who crossed a dog with a mirror for her science fair project? It gave geneticists pause for reflection.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/11/14 4:04 P

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If you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier, what do you get?

A hot-diggity-dog!

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/11/14 8:02 A

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During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow. The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars. “That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of the federal government.” “Why’s that?”
“Because knowing the federal government, they’d decided to lower the highways.”



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8/11/14 12:24 A

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Some say the moon affects the tide. Others, the untied.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/10/14 11:23 P

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True story: the US Senate ordered ball point pens made up with the legend "United States Senate" printed on the barrel. The pens were delivered with the following legend: Untied State Senate.

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/10/14 2:08 P

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Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."



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8/10/14 12:36 A

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Depends on what they're slashing! Of course, some politicians try to STASH the budget in their own special projects!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/9/14 10:55 P

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It used to be that skill with a cue stick was the sign of a misspent youth, these days it's skill with a game controller.

I don't what the government uses to slash budgets, but my sense is that it's about as sharp as a bowling ball and as easy to control.

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8/9/14 5:19 P

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When they want to slash the budget, do they use a fund razor?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/9/14 2:49 P

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This administration has conclusively discovered how to deal wit the deficit.
It’s a skill, which requires addition and distraction.



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8/9/14 7:40 A

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What has a hundred heads and a hundred tails? One hundred pennies!

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/9/14 1:02 A

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Yeah! And most people have no clue how many hours pastors and priests put in each week . . . and a lot of it is pretty stressful stuff.

Did you hear about the farmer who brought a bucket of milk to church so he could have it pastorized?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/8/14 8:16 P

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True story: I was answering the telephone at church today, and a vendor called and wanted to talk to Pastor about a fundraising program. I told him Friday is Pastor's day off, and I would be glad to take a message. The vendor said, "He takes Fridays off? Must be great." I said, "Well, he does work on Sundays ..." The vendor said, "Oh, yeah, right." The world is full of all kinds, isn't it.

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8/8/14 5:23 P

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Q. What would happen if you threw a grenade into a French kitchen?

A. Linoleum Blownapart!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/8/14 2:36 P

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Raise: The increase in pay that you get just before going into debt a little further.

SIX YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/7/14 4:44 P

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Q: What's the cheapest way to trace your family tree?

A: Run for public office.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/7/14 4:39 P

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My Dad was a police officer and he said the same thing about his wife, my mother..True!

What do you call a skeleton that refuses to work? Lazy bones!

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/7/14 11:28 A

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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said: "Call for backup."

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8/6/14 3:21 P

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Why are most people so tired on April 1st?

They've just finished a March of 31 days!

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/6/14 12:49 P

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To Be 8 again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/6/14 8:45 A

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Every work day has two phases: 1. productive and 2. after lunch.

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8/6/14 12:54 A

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What are the five most difficult days? The five that come right after the weekend!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/5/14 10:22 A

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You should reassess your relationship with your computer when the conversation is about getting enough fiber, and you say you can never have enough fiber. Ooops - nobody else is talking about fiber optic connections.

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8/5/14 8:34 A

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Man.

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8/4/14 11:47 P

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School started already today in one of the school systems near here. So here is a teacher joke in honor of the new school year.

English teacher: When does a book become a classic?

Student: When people who haven't read it begin to pretend that they have!

P.S.,
I don't know if Tiny is a man or a woman.com

Edited by: WHITECAT19 at: 8/4/2014 (23:49)
The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/4/14 9:30 P

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You know it is time to reassess your relationship with
your computer when....

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and
stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just
for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

5. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
processor.com

7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a
computer.

8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really
depressed.

9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they
have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you
landscape.

11. Your family always knows where you are.

12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL".

13. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!



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8/4/14 6:14 P

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Did you know that the United States has more golf curses per square mile than any other country?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/4/14 3:49 P

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Johnny: "Dad, what is influence?"

Dad: "Influence, my son, is a thing you think you have until you try to use it."

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/4/14 12:24 P

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Hinkitty-dinky for a person studying downies, hairies, and ivory-billeds: woodpecker checker.

Oh, dear! WhiteCat! I'm moving my piano keyboard away from the shared wall of my townhouse. (P.S. that keyboard doesn't even have T or Y Keyes - unless you count the 'drink with jam and bread')

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8/3/14 7:48 P

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When the little girl gave up her piano lessons, Daddy put a sign up in the front yard: "Piano for Sale."

The next day, the neighbor put a sign up in his yard: "Yay!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/3/14 4:57 P

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Why do sopranos eschew socks? They're alwas getting runs in them.

Similarly, why do baseball players wear at least two pairs of socks? So they can get more runs.

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8/3/14 4:38 P

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What color socks do bears wear?
They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
8/3/14 8:43 A

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The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"



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8/2/14 8:17 P

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Horse sense is just stable thinking.

Oh, Ms. Horsie, I think you are the mentor! I didn't even know about "hinky-dinky" until you started doing them here.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/2/14 11:32 A

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Hink dink for a duckling being a smart alek: back quack

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8/1/14 8:04 P

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If chickens rise when the rooster crows, when do ducks get up?

At the quack of dawn. emoticon

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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
8/1/14 5:08 P

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Woo-hoo, White Cat! I have found my mentor!

Hinky-dinkitty for a protege who loves to annoy his mentor: mentor tormenter

I don't know what this one would be called - if it's legal. Hink dink pinky rinky (?) For an underweight person who minds propagandists: thin spin doctor proctor.

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8/1/14 12:15 A

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Hinkalitty-Dinkitty for the person who cleans up the mess in Washington: politician mortician

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
7/31/14 7:50 P

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Hinky-dinky for the society around a road kill: vulture culture.

Hinky-dink for a sea bird that likes bracelets: bangle gull.

Hink-dink for prison moonshine: clink drink.

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7/31/14 2:34 P

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Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

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TINY67's Photo TINY67 Posts: 18,812
7/31/14 9:39 A

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One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy little nose.

“Oh please excuse me,” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.”

“That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be sure, it was my fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind too, and I didn’t see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?”

“Well, I really don’t know,” said the bunny. “I’m blind, and I’ve never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.” So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, “Well, you’re soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!

The bunny said, “I can’t thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?”

The snake replied that he didn’t know either, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake asked, “Well, what kind of an animal am I?”

The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, “You’re cold, you’re slippery, and you haven’t got any balls…. You must be a politician.”


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7/30/14 4:57 P

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Hinky-dinky for what happens when you set a bowl of tuna down on your porch: feline bee-line


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 969
7/30/14 12:15 P

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Hink-dink for a quack: mock doc

Sad hinky-dinky for the Ebola epidemic: viral spiral

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7/30/14 7:45 A

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Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.
'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?’



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