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5/22/15 11:33 A

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Oh, no! I hope you're all right!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/22/15 7:04 A

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Do not want to talk about cars,,I got into an accident yesterday morning on my way to work..

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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5/21/15 11:07 P

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Was it the same one St. Patrick used to drive the snakes out of Ireland?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/21/15 7:20 A

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NO!! I thought they went in a YOU-GO!

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5/19/15 8:56 A

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Do you suppose Adam and Eve were in one of the new "green" cars when they were driven out of the Garden of Eden?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/19/15 7:17 A

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Why was Noah the greatest financier on record?

Because he kept his company afloat when the rest of the world was in liquidation.

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5/17/15 7:14 A

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At what time of the day was Adam created?

A little before Eve.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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5/16/15 2:50 P

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What do you get if you cross an angry sheep with a moody cow?

An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad mooooood!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/16/15 2:46 P

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THAT WAS UDDERLY CORNY!!!!!!!!!

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5/14/15 9:01 P

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emoticon

Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/14/15 3:09 P

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Little country boy to little city boy: "What do you know about cows? Youdon't even know if that's a Jersey cow."
Little city Boy: "I don't know from here 'cause I can't see its license."

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5/14/15 3:07 P

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Oh Whitecat, I am sitting here holdingmy head ans shaking it.. that was SOOoooo bad...LOL!

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5/13/15 2:35 P

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Nancy tried to sing, but her mouth was full of garbanzo beans; so she had to hummus a tune.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/13/15 2:00 P

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What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?Hot cross bunnies emoticon

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5/12/15 2:42 P

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When is the best season to jump on a trampoline? Spring!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/9/15 7:55 A

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There are two reasons why some people don't mind their own business. One is that they haven't any mind, and the other is they haven't any businesses.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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5/8/15 6:41 P

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The farmer was fowl-mouthed, but his chickens were impeckable.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/7/15 2:29 P

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What roof covers the most noisy tenant? The roof of the mouth.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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5/6/15 5:50 P

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I was hoping to be able to run my car on politician's promises, but I'm having trouble with the fool injection system.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/6/15 5:40 P

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Teacher: "Willie, how do you define ignorance?"

Willie: " It's when you don't know something and somebody finds out."

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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5/4/15 3:00 P

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Ha, ha, ha! I'm going to steal that one for one of my teams!

All the ovens in the restaurant broke at the same time. The customers got a raw deal!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/4/15 2:04 P

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a saint?

An animal that has a pocket full of miracles.

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5/2/15 6:50 P

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What does a cat like to eat on its birthday? Mice cream and crab cake.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/2/15 5:36 P

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When you start to look like your passport photo, you know you need a vacation.
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5/2/15 12:17 A

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Why do some people change churches? Does it really matter which church you stay home from?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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5/1/15 5:22 P

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It's strange how much you've got to know before you know how little you know.

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4/30/15 11:32 P

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What do you call a spittoon in a wine bar? Grape expectorations.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/30/15 8:04 P

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I love to cook with wine; sometimes I even put it in the food!

Hoping for health and happiness for us all ~Peach


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4/30/15 6:57 P

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You are so right, your mind is half the battle. If you can tackle that the rest falls into place.


Determined


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4/30/15 7:15 A

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Losing weight is a triumph of mind over platter.

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4/28/15 7:24 P

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S.P.A.M. = Seriously Poor Advertising Method

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/28/15 4:46 P

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Why did the computer think it might need glasses?
It wanted to improve its' websight!

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/27/15 9:23 P

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Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/27/15 6:33 P

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Life is full of surprises. Just say "never" and you'll see.

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4/27/15 2:10 A

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Have not been on here in a while. These are a riot!

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4/26/15 6:07 P

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What would you get if you crossed pasta with a boa constrictor? Spaghetti that wraps itself around a fork.



Edited by: WHITECAT19 at: 4/26/2015 (18:07)
The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/26/15 9:01 A

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Diner: "How hot are your tamales`?"
Waiter: "Well, if more than three customers eat them at the same time, the sprinkler system goes on!"

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/25/15 10:41 P

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Don't let your worries get the best of you. Remember: Moses started out as a basket case!



The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/25/15 3:50 P

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Jim: "I thought you were going bear hunting?"
Jack: "Well, I got as far as the Interstate."
Jim: "What happened?"
Jack: "I saw a sign that said Bear Left, so I came home!"

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/23/15 4:22 P

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D.I.E.T. = Do I Eat Today?

D.I.E.T. = Don't Indulge Every Time.

D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/22/15 3:47 P

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Charge card company: A place that gives everyone else all of the credit for its' success.

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4/21/15 2:42 A

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Where do hamsters come from? Hamsterdam.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/20/15 1:59 P

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Where does a computer mouse live?

In a mouse pad!

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4/20/15 1:58 P

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Holy Cow!!!!!



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4/19/15 9:49 P

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What do you call a lion that ate your mother's sister? An aunt-eater.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/18/15 2:41 P

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Bathmats: Small, dry rugs children like to stand next to.

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4/18/15 12:21 A

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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BEARWHISPERER Posts: 73
4/17/15 6:58 A

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4/16/15 7:26 P

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Q: How was your breakfast this morning?
A: It was good, except for the Kentucky jelly.
Q: Kentucky jelly?
A: Yeah. See this jar? "KY Jelly."

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/16/15 3:43 P

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Doctor" I'm afraid your condition is fairly advanced."

Patient: "Believe me, Doc, it was in its early stages when I sat down in your waiting room!"


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4/13/15 11:24 A

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What's the difference between an HMO doctor and a pigeon? A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/13/15 7:12 A

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What do you get when you cross a hospital with a skunk?

A medical scenter.

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4/12/15 12:09 P

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Ain't that the truth?!?!

Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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BEARWHISPERER Posts: 73
4/12/15 8:21 A

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4/12/15 12:35 A

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/11/15 3:45 P

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Psychologist: A person who encourages you to speak freely and then charges you for listening.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/10/15 7:16 P

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What do you call bears with no ears? B's.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/9/15 4:21 P

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What's the difference between Goldilocks and a genealogist?

A genealogist is interested in forebears.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/8/15 3:47 P

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What kind of computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh.

emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/8/15 3:22 P

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Giddyup T.W.!!!


Mother: "You won a silver medal and a gold medal at summer camp! For what?"

Peter: "The silver one's for telling knock-knock jokes and the gold medal's for stopping."
emoticon

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

Lost 66 pounds!



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4/7/15 12:48 A

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We missed you, Horsie!

What's the difference between a horse and a duck? A horse goes quick and a duck goes quack.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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TENNESSEEWALKER's Photo TENNESSEEWALKER Posts: 1,234
4/6/15 7:05 P

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Didja hear the one about the hare that doused himself with chloroform so he could be called the ether bunny?

Edited by: TENNESSEEWALKER at: 4/6/2015 (19:06)
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4/6/15 12:38 A

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What do you call a sleepy Easter egg? Egg-zosted.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/5/15 11:36 P
Online Now  • ))
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Very Funny!!!

SEEKING_BALANCE's Photo SEEKING_BALANCE Posts: 13
4/5/15 11:33 P

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What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket??

2 points the same as everyone else!

emoticon

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant Crab Apples, don't count on harvesting Golden delicious."
~Bill Meyer


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4/5/15 10:44 P

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Something learned from the Easter Bunny: Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/5/15 1:11 P

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Dan: "That canoe gives me nothing but trouble."

Sam: "Your canoe sounds more like a woe boat to me!"

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/5/15 12:22 A

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emoticon

Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast? At Ihop.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/4/15 8:10 P

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Okay you all, I am apologizing in advance for this one..here goes, but remember it IS Easter!! Be kind.

Why do people dip their bread into melted cheese? emoticon

Because it's fonduing it!

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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4/2/15 5:41 P

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How do bunnies commute to work? Rabbit transit.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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4/2/15 5:23 A

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I think his name is Humpty Dumpty!

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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3/31/15 12:34 A

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A true friend thinks you're a good egg, even if you're slightly cracked.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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3/30/15 5:53 P

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What can you hold in your right hand that you can't hold in your left hand?

Your left elbow!

Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 3/30/2015 (17:53)
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3/29/15 4:20 P

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What do you call a rabbit that is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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3/29/15 1:05 P

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What word begins with an E, ends with an E, but only has one letter?

Envelope

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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3/28/15 12:29 A

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I saw this one on a Sparker's blog and just have to share it:

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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WICKEDMELISSA's Photo WICKEDMELISSA Posts: 298
3/27/15 9:17 P

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A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Pain is temporary quitting lasts forever!


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3/27/15 5:27 P

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How did the Vikings send secret messages? By Norse code!


The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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3/26/15 4:41 P

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Susie: "Scientists who launch rockets into space must be very intelligent."

Tommy: "I don't think so, they can't even count correctly. They always get the numbers backwards."

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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3/25/15 12:07 A

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My favorite rapper is the Easter Bunny. He's really into hip-hop.

emoticon emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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3/24/15 4:44 P

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What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.

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WICKEDMELISSA's Photo WICKEDMELISSA Posts: 298
3/24/15 2:26 A

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I decided to make my password "incorrect"

because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

Pain is temporary quitting lasts forever!


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3/24/15 2:20 A

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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

Pain is temporary quitting lasts forever!


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