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8/26/15 4:25 P

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Golf is the most popular way of beating around the bush.

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8/25/15 10:45 P

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WHITECAT19 - "skin tag"? Now, THAT'S funny!

Steven - Monument CO

But my heart is always back in Big Wonderful Wyo!


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8/25/15 2:03 P

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i*c*k*

There's not much wrong with the younger generation that becoming a parent and a taxpayer won't cure.



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8/24/15 9:25 P

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The dermatologist and his guests enjoyed the BBQ while their children enjoyed a game of skin tag.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/23/15 8:38 A

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The worst thing about growing old is listening to your children's advice.

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8/22/15 12:26 P

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What kind of tree grows on your hand? A palm tree.
emoticon

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/19/15 2:29 P

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What did the father tree say to his little sapling?

"You're a chip off the old block!"
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Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 8/19/2015 (14:32)
SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/19/15 9:47 A

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How many "Real Men" does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. "Real Men" are not afraid of the dark.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/18/15 5:50 P

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Jesus take my life and lead me on.

Have fun and no regrets. Make memories and love without fear. Enjoy life because in the end, the journey is the destination.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert Schweitzer


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8/18/15 1:25 P

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What was the first thing the grasshopper said after it was created?
"Oh, Lord! How you make me jump!"

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/17/15 9:34 P

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Remember Ole? Well, he died.

Lena went to the newspaper to put in the obit. The editor asked what she wanted to say. Lena said, "Ole died."
The clerk said, "Is that all?"
Lena said, "Yep."
"But Lena," said the clerk, "you and Ole were married all those years . . . isn't there more you want to say?"
"Nope," said Lena.
"Well, you know it costs the same for the first ten words," said the clerk.
"Ten words?" said Lena. "Okay. Ole died. Boat for sale."


The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/17/15 11:10 A

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Oh Mylanta, that was a winner!

Nan: "I wonder why old man Smith puts all of his savings under his mattress every night?"
Dan: "I reckon he wants people to know he has enough to retire on."



SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/17/15 9:30 A

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If you pay 25 cents to watch a bad football game, don't expect your quarterback.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/16/15 7:23 P

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Hotel: A place where a guest often gives up good dollars for poor quarters.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/12/15 9:23 A

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And the mosquitoes went skin-diving with us!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/12/15 8:54 A

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Fisherman: "Did you fish with flies?"

Friend: "We fished with them, camped with them, ate with them and slept with them!"
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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/11/15 5:18 P

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Did you know that cockroaches have very diverse religious beliefs? They are all in sects.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/11/15 1:42 P

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How many cockroaches does it take to change a lightbulb?
No one knows: when the light comes on, they all scatter!

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/9/15 9:08 P

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What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?

Nobody nose.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/9/15 2:48 P

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Policeman stopping a motorist for driving the wrong way on a one-way street: "Just where do you think you're going?"
Driver: "I don't know, but I must be late 'cause everyone else is already coming back!"

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/8/15 9:07 A

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Oh, I love that! emoticon


Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Cows.

Cows who?

Cows go "moo," not "who"!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/7/15 2:06 P

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Okay, this one is a baddie.. advance apology..

What did the chick say when it saw an orange in the nest?

"Look at the orange mama laid!"
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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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8/5/15 4:59 P

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Did you hear the second largest manufacturer of baby toys went bankrupt? It rattled the whole industry.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/4/15 5:10 P

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How do you drive a baby buggy?

Tickle its feet!

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8/3/15 6:06 P

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Thank you! He is doing well right now, but he always needs prayer. (Me, too. Care-taking is no joke!) He had a heart cath on Friday to see if a different diagnoses would be more accurate. If I understand everything correctly, it did not give us any new information. We were hoping some changes in medicines might help, but probably not.

Well, a few days after Ole went to the doctor, he is laying bed. He only has a few hours to live now. All of a sudden, he smells something . . . something really good. Chocolate cake, his favorite. So he drags himself out of bed and goes to the kitchen and starts eating a piece of cake.

Lena comes in and says, "Ole! What are you doing? You're supposed to be in bed. Why are you eating cake? That cake's for the funeral!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/3/15 3:38 P

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That is funny! Poor Sven!

How is the hubster doing? Still praying for him.

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8/2/15 6:38 P

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The doctor tells Ole he only has a few days to live. Ole turns to his wife Lena and says, "Lena, promise me that when I die, you'll marry Sven Svenson."

"Sven Svenson?!?!" wails Lena. "But you've hated him all your life!"

"Yep," says Ole, "I still do!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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8/2/15 1:39 P

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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7/28/15 3:40 P

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Ole: I know the capitals of all 50 states. Just ask me one. You'll see!

Sven: Okay . . . . how about Pennsylvania?

Ole: That would be "P."

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/28/15 2:49 P

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Middle age is when you've meet so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
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Ogden Nash

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7/28/15 2:07 A

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What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watch dog?

A terrified postman!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/27/15 3:15 P

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HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Many of us are at the :metallic age"--gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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7/26/15 7:53 P

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How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/26/15 9:02 A

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Mrs. Smith: "Were you nervous about asking your boss for an advance on your pay?"
Mr. Smith: "No, I was calm and collected."

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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7/26/15 12:32 A

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My cousin told his dentist that he had yellow teeth and asked what he should do. The dentist replied, "Wear a brown tie!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/25/15 9:59 A

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Three women went antiquing to get away from their retired husbands. One of them picked up a peculiar looking item and began to rub away the dust and rust. Whoosh! Out popped a genie! The genie said, "I am here to grant each of you a wish, but because I am an old-fashioned and sexist genie, whatever I grant you, your husband will get 100 times more."

The first woman, said, "I have always wanted a beautiful luxurious car to ride down the shore line." The genie said, I grant your wish, but remember, your husband will get 100 times more." She shrugged and said, "That doesn't seem fair, but, okay." "Your wish is granted," said the genie.

The second woman, said, "I would like I beautiful sprawling home with horse stables and domestics." The genie said, "I grant your wish, but remember your husband..." "Yeah, yeah, I know he gets 100 times more, okay," said the second woman. "Your wish is granted," said the genie.

The third woman has her hand to her chin and is staring off. "Ahem," the genie prompts her.
"Okay, I have it!" exclaims the third woman. "Your wish madam?" inquired the genie. She replies, "I want a teeny, tiny heart attack!!

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If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always gotten. Is that enough????


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7/24/15 2:06 P

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Why did the ocean liner sign up for an aerobics class?

It needed to get in shipshape.

Edited by: PICKIE98 at: 7/24/2015 (14:10)
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7/22/15 7:49 P

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One of my favorites!!!!!

Sign in veterinarian's waiting room: "Back in five minutes. Sit. Stay."



The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/22/15 3:22 P

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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog?

Mary
MDT

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

"Be still and know that I am God." Ps. 46:10



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7/22/15 2:37 P

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Dentist: "You have the biggest cavity I've ever seen! The biggest cavity I've ever seen!"
Patient: "Well, you didn't have to repeat yourself!"
Dentist: "I didn't. That was an echo!"



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7/22/15 12:37 A

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Sign in a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/22/15 12:14 A

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sign on a bank lobby: the buck stops here

Just keep focused and your dreams will turn into realities. With God as your Master Trainer, all things are possible!


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7/21/15 11:43 P

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Sign on a maternity ward door: "Push, push, push!"

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/21/15 1:05 P

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Steering Committee: Two backseat drivers.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

Lost 66 pounds!



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7/20/15 2:43 P

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Joe: "Another birthday...it's hard to grow old alone!"
Flo: "But you have your wife."
Joe: "Yes, but she hasn't had a birthday in fifteen years!"

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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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7/19/15 1:34 P

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License Plate on a student driver car reads " I pray 2"

Just keep focused and your dreams will turn into realities. With God as your Master Trainer, all things are possible!


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7/19/15 1:29 P

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Never trust atoms. They make up everything!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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7/18/15 5:14 P

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What do frogs wear for a night out on the town?
Jumpsuits.

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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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IMSPARKLING2 Posts: 512
7/18/15 1:11 A

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I know a little pussy
her coat is silver gray
she lives down in the meadow
not very far away
although she is a pussy
she'll never be a cat
For she's a pussy willow
NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT!

Just keep focused and your dreams will turn into realities. With God as your Master Trainer, all things are possible!


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7/18/15 1:06 A

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What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A yardvark.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 SparkPoints: (343,118)
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7/15/15 2:56 P

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Sign at Acme Broom Factory: Rest Assured You Can Sweep Easy

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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

Lost 66 pounds!



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WHITECAT19's Photo WHITECAT19 SparkPoints: (68,837)
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7/15/15 10:50 A

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What is heavy forwards but not backwards? Ton.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 SparkPoints: (343,118)
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7/13/15 2:03 P

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Middle age has already arrived when the thought of doing weight-lifting exercises is enough to exhaust you.
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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

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IMSPARKLING2 Posts: 512
7/12/15 10:31 P

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there were these ministers eating lunch at near by restaurant. Just for simplciity sake will will call the ministers Tom Dick and Harry. Minister Tom was very quiet than normal. Noticing this Minister Dick asked Minister Tom if anything was puzzling him. Minister Tom said. "Yes , I just don't know what to do. I am trying to find a way to make my whole congregation to be happy after they leave my service. Any suggestions? Minster Dick Good luck on finding that answer. But once you found it , let me know. Minister Harry said " all the members in my congregation happy1! " You Do " said the other two ministers. Yes said Minster Harry every one is happy i please them all aat every service." You do said the other two ministers. How do you do that?" I make half my congretation happy when I come into the servie and the other half of my congretion Imake happy when I leave the service.

Just keep focused and your dreams will turn into realities. With God as your Master Trainer, all things are possible!


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7/12/15 9:58 P

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Why didn't the life guard save the hippie? Because he was too far out, man!

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
0
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38.625
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PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 SparkPoints: (343,118)
Fitness Minutes: (208,612)
Posts: 29,014
7/11/15 5:07 P

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What do you get if you cross an automobile with a kangaroo?

A car that jump starts itself.

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SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

Lost 66 pounds!



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WHITECAT19's Photo WHITECAT19 SparkPoints: (68,837)
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7/11/15 10:44 A

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What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
0
12.875
25.75
38.625
51.5
PICKIE98's Photo PICKIE98 SparkPoints: (343,118)
Fitness Minutes: (208,612)
Posts: 29,014
7/10/15 2:29 P

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Why did the art collector keep his masterpieces in the vault?
To him it was Monet in the bank.

SEVEN YEARS SPARKING!!

Lost 66 pounds!



 Pounds lost: 10.0 
 
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89.5
134.25
179
WHITECAT19's Photo WHITECAT19 SparkPoints: (68,837)
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7/10/15 10:51 A

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He's back home and much better!

Patient: If I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Probably not, but it will seem longer.

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

A monk was once asked: What do you do there in the monastery? He replied: We fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up again. - Tito Colliander

The Jesus Prayer helps to lift the whole life, body and soul, to a level where . . . the world is sought and known in the beauty of God, not God in the beauty of the world. - Mother Maria of Normanby


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
 
0
12.875
25.75
38.625
51.5
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