7 Ways to Dream with Your Husband
This is part three (the final installment) of our "Ignite the Fire" marriage series.
Those seem to be two of our favorite words around here. Michael and I often talk about that first year together: the many nights we walked hand in hand feeling the chemistry growing between us, and the days we spent sharing our hopes and dreams for the future.
I remember sitting down at the kitchen table one afternoon, with a ruler and pencil in hand. We were busy designing the a-frame home we hoped to build for ourselves. The upstairs had a loft bedroom, and downstairs, running alongside the hallway, we sketched out a sun room. Whether we could ever afford it or not wasn't the question. This was our dream home--something we hoped would be in our future; something we planned to work alongside for.
But then there were those who walked by the table, looked down at the paper and said, "What's that?" Do you have any idea how much that will cost you? I don't think that's in your budget..."
And it wasn't. But a couple can dream can't they?
Some of the best conversations we had were spent dreaming. I wanted to know everything about this man including his hopes and dreams for the future. I can tell you right now--if he would have told me that he wanted to go to the moon, I would have been cheering him on every step of the way. I was his biggest cheerleader, and he, mine. It didn't matter how big his dream was, I believed that he could achieve it and my greatest hope was that I'd be there beside him when he did.
Couples really never stop dreaming, but the sad thing is that too often we stop dreaming together. We stop communicating about the things that are important to us, the work God is calling us to, and the fears that we face.
But here's the thing... "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." - Genesis 2:18.
Living together is more than living under the same roof, it's about living a unified life. The one flesh concept is the same idea as two plant stems that are grafted together. We open ourselves up (cleave) to envelope the other. Two become one.
And so it's important that we keep dreaming together. Because we're in this together for life.
Negativity lurks in every corner. We don't need more of that when we open our heart to another. What we need is love and encouragement.
I know that Michael is talented, he's smart and he's a great leader, but does he know that? I wonder how many times a day that voice inside him tells him that he can't, he won't, and he never will.
I canít tell you the many times I've told myself I canít write. I had always wanted to be a writer, but I didn't think it was possible until one person told me I could. It goes to show that the power of encouragement goes a long way.
A greater power yet is the power of God. It's an honor to encourage my husband and to be there to remind him that when God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. - Philippians 4:13
That doesn't mean that everyone who wants to go to the moon will surely land on the moon. But it does mean that when you put your trust in God He'll lead you to greater paths than you could imagine. He'll birth a great desire within you and equip you for the journey ahead.
Let God plant those desires in your heart. Let Him take the lead. And trust Him to equip you.
His dreams may be the same as yours, but sometimes they may differ. And if they are different? Handle his heart with great care. Communicate your concern with loving kindness, and bring your concerns to God asking that His will be done.
Finally, let's look at seven ways to dream with your husband:
1. Start with contentment. Don't use dreaming as an excuse to lust after the world. If we aren't thankful with what we have today, we won't be content tomorrow. Achieving our goals is fulfilling--it's fun--but nothing on this earth will satisfy us the way that Jesus Christ can.
2. Listen. People express their dreams all the time. Once you're aware of that, you'll start to notice.
3. Be courageous. Don't be afraid to dream big. Sarah laughed when the angel told her that she would bear a child. She was well past the age of child bearing. But God promised Abraham that he would become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth would be blessed in him. It took a leap of faith for them to accept this.
Joseph was betrothed to marry a virgin when an angel spoke to him in a dream telling him that she was to bear a child that was conceived by the Holy Spirit. It took courage on his part to stand beside her and walk in obedience to God. I can't even imagine the emotional turmoil they went through during this time. This was at a time when women were stoned for such things. But they trusted God with their future.
4. Be an encouragement to each other. Remember that the power of encouragement goes a long way, and our words reinforce that.
5. Spend time doing nothing. Slow down your life long enough to have heart-to-heart conversations.
6. Share your heart with him. Start talking about the future. Is there a class you hope to take? A ministry God is calling you to? Do you want a larger family? Keep the lines of communication open. Discuss your dreams and your concerns.
7. Create a mission statement for your marriage. Add your dreams to a section called "Goals and Dreams."
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