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8/4/13 1:19 A

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Day Nine: Take Time to Listen

Be quick to hear, slow to speak. —James 1:19Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

We are often so busy speaking that we don’t take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment—negative or positive—that we don’t really hear our husband’s heart. Remember, we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more!

As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord’s admonition today: “Be quick to hear.”

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more—not only to God, but also to him.

Action Step: Learn something new.

One easy way to give focused attention to your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys and then listen to his response. If it’s an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn’t know, then tell him, “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, open my ears to hear—truly hear—my husband. Teach me to patiently pursue his heart by asking probing questions. Awaken my curiosity for all the unspoken things hidden as treasure in his heart and soul. Help me to honor what he shares with me and never use it as ammunition against him.



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
8/1/13 10:19 P

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Day Eight: Planting Faithfulness

But a faithful man who can find? —Proverbs 20:6Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual commitments.

Consider the ways your husband displays faithfulness—how he is loyal to you, how he honors the Lord, how he continues on in his work and ministry. Begin to praise him for being faithful and praise God for helping him to remain true to his commitments.

This area will be difficult for you if your husband is prone to break his word or act unfaithfully toward you. Know that the Lord is near the brokenhearted, sustaining you in whatever pain you’ve experienced. Be sure to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or couple who can help you respond biblically. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands “may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (1 Pet. 3:1Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)).

Whatever your circumstance, your challenge is to root out all negative speaking toward your husband and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed at what will grow!

Action Step: Plant Seeds of Faithfulness

Plant seeds of faithfulness into your husband’s heart by praising his integrity and loyal actions. Write him a note expressing how much it means to you that he has honored his marriage vow.

A Wife’s Prayer

Lord Jesus, cultivate within my husband a faithful heart, one that longs to beat with integrity and flow with sacrificial love. Show me how I can plant seeds of faithfulness through my actions and attitudes toward my husband, and help me to wait on Your harvest in his heart.



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/31/13 9:10 P

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Day Seven: United on the Financial Front

Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven.. —Proverbs 23:4–5Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

Granting an inheritance to those who love me, and filling their treasuries. —Proverbs 8:21Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

Money is the root of much marital discord. Too often financial stress causes couples to abandon unity and see each other as the enemy. Scripture tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood; we must fight to maintain a unified front. Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases—checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward before the Lord?

If he longs to honor God by being a good steward, let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters. If this is an area of weakness for him, pray about how you can support his growth. Encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he’s open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before you make decisions that will affect him.

Action Step: Strengthen Your Financial Front

Whether your husband is strong or weak in financial matters, you can strengthen your financial front by encouraging what he does well and giving grace where he’s weak. Ask yourself: Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances? Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, help me to rest fully in You in the area of finances. Teach me to praise and encourage and help, rather than criticize and complain and hinder. Please strengthen our financial front and grant us unity in financial decisions. Bless my husband with a tender heart that longs to honor You with everything we own, and grant him wisdom to dedicate all resources for the Kingdom and the Gospel.



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/30/13 8:35 P

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Day Six: Praise His Creative Efforts

Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. —1 Corinthians 10:31Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

Is your husband the creative type? Does he have any artistic gifts? What is that special knack he has? Affirm him for his handiwork—a hobby, music, gardening, tinkering with cars, working with wood, and so on. Remember, even if he doesn’t measure up to your standards, praise his efforts.

If you have a hard time finding his creative side, understand that men’s creativity is sometimes related to their work. Find something he does exceptionally well to make his job run more smoothly or something he does that adds value to his work . . . and let him know that you have noticed. If your budget allows, buy him a book or magazine that will continue to encourage his special skill or talent.

Action Step: Praise his creativity.

Do you recognize and appreciate your husband’s creativity? Or do you criticize and demean his efforts? Instead of negativity, determine to be positive. Perhaps you can help your husband see that his efforts are an opportunity to glorify God. Make his day—praise his accomplishments in public, while he is listening.

A Wife’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, show me how You have wired my husband to reflect Your creative heart. Teach me to be an encouragement as he uses his gifts and talents to solve problems, serve others, and advance the Kingdom. Thank You for revealing Your creativity through my husband, for Your glory!



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/29/13 4:00 P

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Day Five: What’s on Your Tongue?

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. —Ephesians 4:29Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)



Another way to describe the positive side of this 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge is by using the word edify, which means “to build up.” Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.

Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to do with family members.

Action Step: Tell your family why you love your husband.

Do you praise your husband to his relatives and yours? Does your husband’s mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him—in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.

A Wife’s Prayer

Jesus, I confess that I have spoken negative words about my husband. I ask for Your forgiveness; I ask for Your power to cut off the corrupting power of what I’ve said in the hearts and minds of those who heard me. Prompt me to speak praise and g




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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/28/13 8:15 P

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IAM_HIS's Photo IAM_HIS Posts: 42,631
7/28/13 7:08 A

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This means so much to me--I am so very grateful for your words. God bless you.

It suddenly occurred to me. Everything I need comes from our Lord. My role as a wife is to help my husband get to heaven. I can do that through prayer and loving him. Duh...it never occurred to me before.

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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/27/13 4:16 P

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When you find him ignoring you , just calmly get your Word and begin to speak the word of peace in your spirit. Pray for Him and love him, look at him through the eyes of the Lord. I am
praying for your strength and that the Joy of the Lord will fill you now. In the name of Jesus. God keeps his Promises so you just have faith and Know that God is concern about you. emoticon



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IAM_HIS's Photo IAM_HIS Posts: 42,631
7/27/13 1:30 P

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This tough today because of his ignoring me. I am praying for both of us.

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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/27/13 1:14 P

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Day Four: Praise Your Husband’s Work

Let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands. —Ephesians 4:28Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

We are all accountable for the things we say, both the negative and the positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here’s a suggestion that touches the core of your husband’s world.

Some women take their husband’s career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you dump on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

Action Step: Praise him for the work he does.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you’ll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career—such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, or determination . . . or having an analytical mind or organizational skills . . . or being good with people or a good listener.

A Wife’s Prayer

Jesus, I thank You for the way you’ve shaped and gifted my husband for the work he is able to do. Help me to support his work and praise him specifically for what he does. Plant in him a vision for how his gifts will build Your Kingdom and serve others. Impress upon him the desire to be faithful with his gifts, using them fully. Protect him from discouragement, stress, dishonesty, and sluggishness so that all he does might bring praise to Your name.



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/25/13 6:31 P

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IAM_HIS's Photo IAM_HIS Posts: 42,631
7/25/13 4:57 P

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Yesterday I praise my husband for helping make a salad and handing up his shirt.

Today I am not saying or thinking anything negative about him. When I start to think of something negative, l start praying and praising the Lord for my spouse. And asking that our love for one another grow stronger.

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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/25/13 12:17 P

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Day Three:
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)

Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.

If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender.

Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender—especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude.

Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc.

Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/23/13 3:32 P

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Day Two:
" . . . through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13bOpen in Logos Bible Software (if available)

How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.

Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!

Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.



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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/22/13 11:14 P

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IAM_HIS's Photo IAM_HIS Posts: 42,631
7/22/13 5:35 P

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I am working on!!!

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ANGELREJOICES54's Photo ANGELREJOICES54 Posts: 15,469
7/22/13 4:28 P

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by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

We're so glad you've decided to accept the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" to encourage your husband! Your decision means that you truly want to be a blessing in your home. This challenge will also result in spiritual growth in your own life.

We'd like to encourage you to keep track of what God does in your marriage over this next month. We hope you'll take time to share what God does in your home as you bless and encourage your spouse.

Day One:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)



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