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ODDMENTTWEAK Posts: 1,559
3/2/08 8:47 P

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When I was in highschool, the first serious boyfriend I ever had came around after I'd lost 20 pounds. It was mostly a coincidence; my best friend and I were in competition for this boy, and had been for about six months, during which time I lost 10 pounds after losing another 10 before I'd met him.

We stayed together for just over a year before I went to university, where I bulked back up a bit after we'd broken up, but still managed to have a fairly active romantic life.

Now I'm at the lowest weight I've been since I was 14, and have had an amazing boyfriend for just under six months. My ex knew about my body issues and could identify (I love chubby guys, it's a tic) and so can the one I have now, but my current one makes me feel more loved and beautiful than my ex ever did. Regardless, my ex was still a good man.

I feel really lucky that my weight only ever seemed like an impediment in the pursuit of guys who turned out not to be worth my time, and that the truly good and decent ones loved me for being me.

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."
- Helen Keller


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ANGELICASONGS's Photo ANGELICASONGS Posts: 2,474
2/20/08 9:58 P

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omg you are gorgeous! I think it's all mental because I'm the same way. I have a lot of things I want to do but not enough confidence to do them...

~*Chloe'sMommy*~


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SPACEFLOWER's Photo SPACEFLOWER Posts: 17
2/20/08 3:32 P

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My fat affects my whole life. I let it get in the way of everything, even if other people don't care about it. I convince myself that they do, which prevents me from doing certain things that I want and knocks down my self-esteem.

 
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ROCKYOURBODY's Photo ROCKYOURBODY SparkPoints: (0)
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2/20/08 1:10 A

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I can totally relate to all of this. Basically a lil scared to get out there, and the guys I do know are like brothers, scum of the earth, gay or taken. lol

Music is like oxygen, so take a deep breath!
DEVILMIMY Posts: 23
2/15/08 7:43 A

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I never had serious relation. I want one. I think that my weight is the biggest problem. I am ashamed of how I look, don't want to go out clubbing until I lose weight. I am shy, I am afraid of how people will react on me, and I think that they see just my weight. I lost 15 pounds and felt great, my self-confidence was higher, but I get it all back.
Now, I am very determined to loose weight, am not going on crazy diets like I just to, and I try to exercise every day. I hope I will met my goal. Good luck to all.

 
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HONEYBEE1613's Photo HONEYBEE1613 Posts: 73
2/14/08 10:31 A

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Get this, I was when at 330lbs a guy who liked me since high school asked me out. I never really liked him like that but I thought that he would be the only guy who would ever date me, so what the heck. I settled for him. We dated for a year and 8 months and were engaged and everything! I was so excited because I thought, look at this, the fat girl gets a man after all! Take that superficial world! Last summer we broke up because his mom got angry with me. I didn't eat for two weeks and lost 15 lbs, but then I came back to college and gained it all back, plus some.
Now, I'm for real losing the weight, not just starving it off with grief. And, I've got a new boyfriend in the works, who is, as it happens, visiting me tomorrow! So, I guess my point is, even if you think you could never ever ever find someone who would want to date you, think again, because this fat girl was engaged, yo!
Be Encouraged!
PS: Don't date someone if they ask you out but you aren't really into them. Its not worth it. You NEVER EVER EVER EVER have to settle.

Melissa-issa-issa

"For he is the living God and he endures forever...He resuces and he saves" Daniel 6:26-27

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13


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BRANDI87's Photo BRANDI87 SparkPoints: (21,572)
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1/29/08 11:23 P

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Well, I know I already wrote here once before, but I had to add (update). I have a boyfriend of about three years and he thinks that I am just fine the way I am too. He has seen my gain the weight and slowly losing it. He says he loves me regardless and I know he does. He totally supports me and I love it. We have changed our eating habits totally. He now eats healthy too and works out with me and we are both getting in shape together. I love it, I don't even need a buddy because I have him right here with me. Plus, losing weight has amped up the physcial attraction for the both of us!! ;)

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PUPPY_LOVE_14_ Posts: 17
1/29/08 8:05 P

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I definitely don't have a boyfriend. I really want one. I'm hoping losing weight will help me. Not just because I'll look better, but I'll have a bit more confidence too. =)

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LUPE_M17 SparkPoints: (0)
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1/25/08 10:44 A

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Well my boyfriend thinks I'm fine the way I look right now. He does admit that toning up and losing a few pound might be good and will make feel and look better.

LEARN to LOVE yourself. When you do, you'll notice everything CHANGE. You'll know how BEAUTIFUL you are and everything that you are worth. I KNOW I DID AND IS THE BEST FEELING EVER.


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DANI17731's Photo DANI17731 Posts: 102
1/24/08 10:20 P

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Now that I'm in my 20s I no longer feel like a loser admiting I've never had a real boyfriend. There was this one guy who knew me when I was 16 and at my heaviest and he really liked me but I was so insecure I couldn't let the relationship develop. We got together again last year but he really wasn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship. I'm not ready to date until I'm completely happy being me.

Whether you believe you CAN or you CAN'T, you're right!---Stewie Griffin

Don't dream it, be it.---Rocky Horror Picture Show

On this spot we must either conquer, or die with glory. There is no alternative. Though a woman, my resolution is fixed: the men, if they please, may survive with infamy, and live in bondage, but I will die on my feet. --Boudica


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ARIANAROSESTAR Posts: 86
1/24/08 9:57 A

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I'm in the same boat at NEAN0503. My boyfriend doesn't think I need to lose weight and loves me just the way I am. He's great! But, he accepts the fact that I want to do this and is even helping me. He's agreed to go to the gym with me when he can and will eat healthy with me.

 
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NEAN0503's Photo NEAN0503 Posts: 34
1/22/08 3:30 P

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I've been blessed with the most wonderful guy! I've been around this weight the whole time I've been with him. He thinks im perfect and doesn't get why I want to lose weight, which is amazing, but he also supports my efforts because it's something i want. We're getting married next summer and I want to be looking good for our big day (and night ;))!!

Edited by: NEAN0503 at: 1/22/2008 (15:30)
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DAYDREAMER_VM's Photo DAYDREAMER_VM Posts: 2,559
1/10/08 9:44 P

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I have a no dating life. I wish I did but me being overweight gets in the way for me to try and date. A lot of guys where I live at can be very superficial when comes to dating. a lot of guys don't like big girls, so that in itself is a reason why I don't date.

Edited by: DAYDREAMER_VM at: 1/10/2008 (21:49)
~Veronica~


"Sometimes we downplay things out of the fear of rejection or to simply convince ourselves it could never happen."-unknown
FAIRIENINJA SparkPoints: (618)
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1/8/08 12:53 P

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I have been in a relationship for goin on four years this fall. When we first started dating I felt like I was over weight in a size 7 150 lbs. but then I stopped working out every night and day and went up to a size 12 and then I got a job at McDonalds went up to 16/18 and now I feel like a freaken cow. He hasn't changed one way to me and we both joined a gym together and are going reguraly. He really is supportive. Now I will be thankful if I get back down to a size 7 emoticon

 
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BRANDI87's Photo BRANDI87 SparkPoints: (21,572)
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12/31/07 4:30 P

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My senior year in high school I weighed 226, probably 130..and I don't really know what snapped but something did and I lost like 50 pounds so far. I am in a relationship and he has been by my side the whole time, I am so thankful for my guy. He was there while I packed on a good portion of the weight and now that I am losing it. He really is my rock that I can lean on and sometimes even my motivation. I am still really insecure and I relate to you both in that I still feel like I weigh 230 pounds..and I don't think I could manage a relationship if it hadn't been that I've been in it since the beginning. I duno...its kinda crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing.

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ANGELICASONGS's Photo ANGELICASONGS Posts: 2,474
12/31/07 2:58 P

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I'd agree. I think it just takes a while to get use to looking different. I use to be under 170 and I thought I was huge. Everyone told me I had lost weight( I weighed over 200 in middle school) and I didn't believe it even though it was obvious on the scale. I was wearing a size 12 and that still didn't stick in my mind when I looked in the mirror. So I understood what you said.
I think it will just take me a while to trust people mean what they say,concerning my weight, enough to start actually dating. Plus I'm so busy with school and adding the drama that can come along with a relationship would probably drive me crazy.

~*Chloe'sMommy*~


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FAYETTESIDRA's Photo FAYETTESIDRA Posts: 1,664
12/31/07 11:26 A

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I've personally found that I have become more confident overall, but I still have that "fat girl" body image curse. I know I've lost weight, but when I look in the mirror I still see the same person I saw 80 pounds ago. That's what holds me back the most. In certain situations, it flares up particularly intensly and I become completely insecure and miserable all over again (unfortunately, these seems to happen most when I'm out at bars with friends).

I know that I'm not ready for dating yet, and I won't be until I can get past my own insecurities. It completely sucks, but I know I won't be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone else until I can have one with myself.

Krystal
~
Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. -J. R. R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring


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ANGELICASONGS's Photo ANGELICASONGS Posts: 2,474
12/30/07 11:16 P

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I almost forgot that this is a teen/young adult team hahaha and that dating becomes an issue sometimes. So this is just to talk about what's going on, or how your weight loss may be affecting your social life.

~*Chloe'sMommy*~


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