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1/13/18 12:01 P

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enjoyed got several laughs. emoticon

Wyndy MacLeod Callahan
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YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
1/13/18 9:46 A

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Here we go into the middle of Jan., each day we get a little closer to spring. Enjoy this 2nd silly Sat. of Jan.

Q: What did Amaruq say after building an igloo out of crystal clear ice?
A: "Living in a transparent igloo has its disadvantages - but you should see the murres smack it!"

Q: Why didn't the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?
A: He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake - and kept popping out of bed all night!

Q: What happened when all the muskox wool that was collected was stolen?
A: The police combed the area.

Q: If the sun shines while it's snowing, what should you look for?
A: Snowbows.

Q: What did one Greenland Shark say to the other?
A: "Say, good lookin'... didn't I meet you last night at the feeding frenzy?"

Q: What's a sign that you have an irrational fear of icebergs?
A: You start having water-tight compartments installed in your pants.

Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!"

Q: What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic?
A: Cold cream.

Q: Why was the snowman sad?
A: Cause he had a meltdown.

Q: Why was the Saami herder given an umbrella?
A: Because of the rain, dear.

Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
A: I have no eye deer.

Q: What did one Arctic murre say to the other?
A: "What? We flew 2000 miles for THIS?!"

Q: What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
A: "Where were you on the night of September to March?"

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
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STITCHINGNAN's Photo STITCHINGNAN Posts: 15,521
1/7/18 12:55 A

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Thanks for the silly jokes, I need a smile this morning .
Irene

Irene in Nottinghamshire UK
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
1/6/18 10:24 A

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Well here we are our first silly Sat. in 2018. Hope the new year got off to a good start for you. Remember always find some laughter, it help get you through the tough days.

Winter
Q: How do Eskimos make their beds?
A: With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Q: Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?
A: They wear snowcaps.
Q: What did the snowman say to the customer?
A: Have an ice day!
Q: What do you call a slow skier?
A: A slopepoke!
Q: Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
A: Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
Q: Where does a polarbear keep its money?
A: In a snow bank!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A: A puddle!
Q: How does an Eskimo stick his house together?
A: With igloo!

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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12/23/17 2:09 P

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Hope all are just about ready for Christmas and that it'll be a merry one!

It was Christmas Eve. A poor old lady was sitting alone, except for her cat, in her tiny house, in front of a small fire. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and the old woman's good fairy appeared in the room.

The old woman was astonished, but the fairy reassured her: "Don't be afraid! I am your good fairy. You are very poor, and all alone at Christmas, so I have come to grant you three wishes, to cheer you up."

The old woman was about to speak, but the fairy held up her hand. "Wait!" she said. "Before you make a wish, think carefully! You will get exactly what you wish for, and no wish can be undone!"

So the old woman sat silently, staring at the fire and thinking. Eventually, she spoke: "First", she said, "I want to be very, very wealthy."

Poof! Immediately, the tiny house was packed with pots full of gold coins, and sacks of bank-notes. There was more money than anyone could spend in an entire lifetime.

The old woman looked around and smiled. She thought some more, and spoke again: "Next", she said, "I want to be young and beautiful again, like I was when I was 18."

Poof! The old woman disappeared. In her place sat a beautiful young woman, with smooth, white skin and long, golden hair. The woman looked at her hands and arms, felt her hair, and smiled.

"Third", she said to the fairy, "I want you to change my cat into a handsome young prince, who will love me and take care of me all my life!"

Poof! The fairy disappeared, and the cat leapt up from his place by the fire as a handsome young prince. He reached out to the woman, pulled her to her feet, embraced her, and kissed her passionately. Then he gazed into her eyes and said: "Hah! Now you're really going to be sorry that you took me to the vet!"

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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12/18/17 7:25 A

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I actually like a good old fashioned fruitcake also!

Thank you Shirl for the giggles.

Hugs,
Wanda

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
12/16/17 9:47 A

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I actually like fruitcake, but know it's not everyone's favorite holiday treat. Have a great silly Saturday.


TOP 10 USES FOR HOLIDAY FRUITCAKES

10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.
8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let troops drop them.
7. Use as railroad ties.
6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.
5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.
4. Use instead of cement shoes.
3. Save for next summer's garage sale.
2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.
1. Two words pin cushion.


Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
12/2/17 11:12 A

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Starting Dec. silly Sat. out with of coarse Christmas jokes. Have a laugh filled Sat.


What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!

Why is Christmas just like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot's him

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present's beneath them.

What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet?
It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!



Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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WANDAH3's Photo WANDAH3 Posts: 12,309
11/27/17 7:23 A

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haha...that's one crusty cowboy.

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
11/25/17 11:24 A

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Hope all had a very Happy Thanksgiving. I don't know how we got to the last Saturday of Nov. all ready but here we are.


 One Sunday a cowboy went to church.
When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.

The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said,
"I�m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I�d feed him."

So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours.
The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.

The cowboy answered slowly,
"Well, I�m not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up,
I sure wouldn�t feed him all the hay..."



Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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WANDAH3's Photo WANDAH3 Posts: 12,309
11/6/17 7:23 A

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Here a bit late, but participating regardless.

Q: What's an ig? A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Why do seals swim in salt water? A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean? A: H to O! (H20)

Q: Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers? A: The outside! Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? A: Leeks!

Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: "Dam!" Q: What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic? A: Cold cream. Q: Why was the snowman sad? A: Cause he had a meltdown.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes
/weatherjokes/winterjokes.html



Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
11/4/17 1:58 P

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Good afternoon. Sorry for getting here so late but have been having issues with my computer. Well we are in our pre turkey days so it's time to roll out the jokes, it'll be here before we know it. Enjoy your silly Saturday and be sure to have some laughter in your day.

Wanda thanks for participating here.


What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
They use FOWL language.

Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!

When do you serve tofu turkey?
Pranksgiving.

What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.

Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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WANDAH3's Photo WANDAH3 Posts: 12,309
10/30/17 7:23 A

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What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other?
Cut it out!

What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash

Why do Jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?
You'd have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi (3.1428571428571428571428571428571)

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!

How do you repair a broken Jack-o-lantern?
Buy a pumpkin patch!

What's black, white, orange, and waddles? Halloween pumpkin carvings
A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.

Why do pumpkins never quarrel?
Because they have no stomach for fighting.


Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
10/28/17 9:45 A

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Our last silly Saturday for Oct. Hope everyone has a safe but fun Halloween!


Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea!

Q: What is the most important day in Egypt?
A: Mummy’s Day!

Q: What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date ?
A: Any old girl he can unwrap!

Q: Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They’re too wrapped up in themselves!

Q: Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?
A: Because their daddies were mummies!

Q: What kind of music do mummies like most?
A: Wrap music!

Q: What is mummy’s favourite kind of coffee?
A: De-coffin-ated!

Q: How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
A: Toot-and-come-in!

Q: What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man!

Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff!

Q: What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
A: “Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back!”

Q: What kind of underwear does a mummy wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb!

Q: What did ancient Egyptian postman say to a boy?
A: “Hey, fellow, is your mummy home?”


Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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WANDAH3's Photo WANDAH3 Posts: 12,309
10/23/17 7:28 A

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Thanks for the Halloween giggles Shirl. I need to start thinking about buying treats for the little ones coming to the door.

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
10/21/17 2:08 P

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Here one more silly Sat.left inf Oct. Hope all will have a howling good Halloween!

Knock Knock!!
Who’s there?
Turin.
Turin who?
Turin to a vampire this Halloween!

Knock Knock!! “Trick or Treat!”
Who’s there?
Thermos!
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better way!

Knock Knock!
Whos there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Dont cry! I’m just a Halloween trick or treater!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

Knock Knock “Trick or Treat”
Who’s there?
Tinker Bell!
Tinker Bell who?
Tinker Bell is out of order!

Knock Knock!!
Who’s there?
Tad.
Tad who?
Tad old black magic!

Knock Knock!!
Who’s there?
Dishes!
Dishes who?
Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!

Knock, Knock!!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Halloween!

Edited by: YOYONOMORE1 at: 10/22/2017 (09:13)
Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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10/14/17 9:51 A

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WHY did the vampire stay home all day?
He was coffin all day!

Have a laughter filled Saturday!

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
9/30/17 9:46 A

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Hope all have a laughter filled day on this last silly Sat. of Sept.

Wanda your post made me laugh this morning, that was a good one.


Short Cloud Jokes

Q: What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up?
A: Fog.

Q: Why don't meteorologists like to dine out on the moon?
A: The moon has no atmosphere.

Q: Where do clouds go to the bathroom?
A: Anywhere they want

Q: What did one raindrop say to the other?
A: Two's company, three's a cloud

Q: How can you wrap a cloud?
A: with a rainbow.

Q: What is a clouds favorite drink?
A: Mountain Dew

Q: What is it called when a high pressure goes on vacation?
A: A Hiatus

Q: What do clouds want to be when they grow up?
A: Thunderstorms

Q: When is Monday coming?
A: MonSoon!

Q: What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?
A: A very dry sense of humor.

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.

Q: What did the rain cloud where under his rain coat?
A: Thunder wear!

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
A: UCLA


Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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WANDAH3's Photo WANDAH3 Posts: 12,309
9/23/17 10:07 A

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Ahhh fall and winter. Where did summer go?

Inspirational and Inspiring Gifts
A Cowboy Named Bud

-- Author Unknown

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward
him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses
and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you
give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response..

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech,miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with
amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why
not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U..S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of
equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you
don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about
cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ....

Now give me back my dog.


Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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9/23/17 8:57 A

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Yesterday was the first day of fall and we had record breaking temps in the 90's, Mother Nature is playing with us.


This autumn we can look forward to falling leaves and rising gas prices.
We'll be raking it up while the oil companies are raking it in.

If money did grow on trees, autumn would be the best season ever!

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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9/17/17 9:15 A

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Laughter is good for the soul....make sure you have a giggle or two each day. Thank you Shirl for posting some giggles.

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
9/16/17 10:06 A

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Well this is the week we say good-bye to summer and hello fall!

On the first day of autumn (autumnal equinox), the number of hours of daylight and darkness are approximately equal.


Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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9/9/17 7:31 P

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Sorry I am getting here so late, been a very busy day.


What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

What do you call a large colorful pile of leaves?
The Great Barrier Leaf.

Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?
It was on paid leaf.

What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?
A pumpkin patch!

How do leaves get from place to place?
With autumn-mobiles.

How does an Elephant get out of a tree?
Sits on a leaf and waits till Autumn!

What did a tree fighting with autumn say?
That's it, i'm leaving.

What will fall on the lawn first?
An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?

What do you call a tree that doubts autumn?
Disbe-leaf.

What is a tree's least favorite month?
Sep-timber!

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
9/2/17 5:46 P

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Sorry for posting so late, I almost forgot I am suppose to start back up with the Sat. & Sun. challenges starting Sept., and guess what Sept. is here. Seeing this is the month fall begins thought some fall jokes would do.


Short Fall Jokes

What did the tree say to autumn?
leaf me alone.

What did one autumn leaf say to another?
I'm falling for you.

Why did summer catch autumn?
Because autumn is fall.

Why do the Boston Red Sox fans love autumn?
Because watching the leaves fall reminds them of the (Yankees).

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch

Why are trees very forgiving?
Because in the Fall they "Let It Go" and in the Spring they "turn over a new leaf".

What falls in autumn?
Leaves!

What is the cutest season?
Awwtumn.

Giggles & Grins
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
5/27/17 9:26 A

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Silly Saturday is being put on a break and we'll resume in the fall and see if we get more participation then. Enjoy your summer and we'll see you in the fall.

Hugs,
Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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Our first silly Saturday of May!

Stolen Fruit
Mary was taken before the judge accused of theft, and he asked her, 'What did you steal?'
'A small can of peaches,' Mary replied, weeping.
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then inquired, 'And how many peaches were in the can?'
Mary answered, 'Only 6 small pieces.'
The judge harshly announced, 'Then I will give you 6 days in jail.' But before the judge could finish pronouncing the punishment, the woman's husband, Derek, interrupted and asked the judge if he could say something?
The judge, slightly annoyed asked, 'And what have you to say in your wife's defence?'
Derek spoke clearly, 'She also stole a large can of peas.'

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Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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4/22/17 10:46 A

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Seeing two of our kids now live in FL thought I'd throw in some alligator jokes. Have a great silly Saturday!

Alligator Short Jokes

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Q: What's the similarity between a Alligator and Windows?
A: Neither of them has enough bytes!

Q: How many arms has a alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!

Q: Why don't alligators like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!

Q: What do you get if you cross a alligator with a flower?
A: I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!

Q: Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
A: It's filled with liti-gators.

Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A Navi-gator.


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Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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4/15/17 9:53 A

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Hope all have a blessed Easter!


Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

Walk softly and carry a big carrot.

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention

Some body parts should be floppy

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

Good things come in small sugarcoated packages

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.

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Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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4/8/17 10:00 A

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It's hard to believe Easter is only a week away. Enjoy your silly Saturday!


Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night?
A: They don't want to get "beat up".

Q: What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
A: Two points, just like anyone else.

Q: Why was the little girl sad after the race?
A: Because an egg beater!

Q: What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
A: 14 carrot gold.

Q: Why didn't the easter egg cross the road?
A: Because he wasn't a chicken yet!

Q: What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan?
A: It took ears off his life!


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Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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4/1/17 8:12 A

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Happy April Fool's Day! My DH just got me by saying I was wanted at the door, of course, no one was there, ha, ha.

Take a Number
Our chain of travel agencies was small but growing. As office manager, I often got complaints from staff members who deplored the demise of our family-oriented operation and the impending arrival of Big Brother. Then a computer memo from the home office informed us that we all had been assigned employee numbers. We were to use them instead of names in correspondence or telephone communication with the company.
“This is the last straw!” said an exasperated worker. “We’ve finally been reduced to a number!” commented another. One employee, however, read on. Imagine our delight when she discovered, at the end of the memo, this message: “In our book, you’re all Number One. Happy April Fools’ Day!”

— Contributed by Connie McGough

Funny Farm
Our farm borders a main highway, and my husband and I wage a perpetual battle to keep our cows from heading for greener pastures across the road. One evening, as I slogged along the perimeter of our property looking for loose fencing, I saw a neighbor, also a farmer.
His greeting sent me on my rounds with a lighter step. “I see,” he said, “you’re Secretary of DeFence tonight!”

— Contributed by Eugenia Mathes

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Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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3/25/17 9:33 A

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Nancy those are two good ones! Everyone have a great silly Saturday!

Short Spring Jokes

When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During Ape-ril showers!

Can February March?
No, but April May!

Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they've just finished a long, 31 day March!

What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring-time!

What flowers grow on faces?
Tulips (Two-lips)!

Why are trees very forgiving?
Because in the Fall they "Let It Go" and in the Spring they "turn over a new leaf".

Why is the letter A like a flower?
A bee (B) comes after it!

When do people start using their trampoline?
Spring-Time

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A hot cross bunny

What did the tree say to spring?
What a re-leaf.

What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Lily!

What does the Easter Bunny order at a Chinese Restaurant?
Hop Suey!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny

What does the Easter Rabbit get for making a basket?
Two points just like everybody!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
June.
June who?
"June know any good knock knock jokes?"
"June know how to tell knock-knock jokes?"

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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3/18/17 12:51 P

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A couple more cartoons.

Have a fun day!

~Nancy~



You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are. -Fred Rogers


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3/18/17 10:26 A

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Good ones Nancy. Here's some Irish humor.


The Doctor was puzzled "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "
"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.

Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground.
Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that look like Sean"
To which Paddy replied "No Sean was taller than that"

A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first, "What's your name and address?"
"I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.
"I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."

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Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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That's where I'm at. Poking a little fun at my latest endeavor.

~Nancy~



You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are. -Fred Rogers


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3/11/17 10:45 A

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Oh Nancy those made me laugh this morning, needed that.

Well seeing we are back to winter here are some winter jokes!

Short Winter Jokes

Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!

Q: What's an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
A: Because he thought his wife was a flake

Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.

Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water?
A: On a map!

Q: What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean?
A: H to O! (H20)

Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
A: Froze-T

Q: Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?
A: The outside!

Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?
A: Leeks!

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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3/4/17 11:10 A

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~Nancy~



You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are. -Fred Rogers


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3/4/17 10:48 A

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Enjoy this silly Saturday and laugh!

On Saint Patrick's Day, an Irishman who had a little to much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.
"So," said the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

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Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

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Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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2/18/17 9:27 A

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The Children of Israel

Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"

"Right."

"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"

"Er--right."

"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you're right."

"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"

"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz allthe grown-ups doin?"

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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Here are some quotes from presidents in honor of president's day Monday.

Presidential Quotes

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" -Ronald Reagan

"I hope you're all Republicans." -(Reagan)speaking to surgeons as he entered the operating room following a 1981 assassination attempt.

"If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." -George Washington

"Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth." -George Washington

"It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one." -George Washington

"I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends." -Abraham Lincoln

"A house divided against itself cannot stand." -Abraham Lincoln

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." -Abraham Lincoln

"Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you." -Thomas Jefferson

"The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time." -Thomas Jefferson

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." -George W. Bush

"When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried inhaling again." -Bill Clinton


Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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2/11/17 11:13 A

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Happy second silly Sat. of Feb.

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

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Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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2/4/17 9:23 A

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haha Shirl...some of those are real groaners LOL. Thanks for the giggles.

Deep Thoughts for Children
Friday, March 1, 2002

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."...

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! -- Age 6

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15
Source: GCFL

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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Here we go with our first silly Sat. for Feb.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator

What do you call a pile of kittens
A meowntain

What do you call a bee that lives in America?
USB

Why can't a leopard hide?
Because he's always spotted!

What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!

Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
To the Baa Baa shop!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles.

How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum that it could be done!

What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry

How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?
With your BEAR hands.

What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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1/28/17 10:14 A

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Wanda here are some birthday jokes to share with Garry on his special day!

Birthday Short Jokes

Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Forget it once!

Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.

Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!

Q: Why did the little girl get soap for her birthday?
A: It was a so a prize party!.

Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Q: "Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
A: "No, only little babies."

Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!

Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake, of course!

Q: What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
A: Get married on his birthday.

Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A: A birthday pheasant!

Q: How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A: He has a whale of a party!

Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"

Q: What was the average age of a cave man?
A: Stone Age!

Q: Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?
A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!

Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?
A: He shellabrates!

Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?
A: Musical Hares!

Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A: Mice cream and cake!


Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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1/21/17 1:27 P

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Irene your post last Sat. was cute. We're at our 3rd silly Sat., this month is moving on.





Knock Knock
Who's there !
Ice cream !
Ice cream who ?
Ice cream if you don't let me in !

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Honeydew!
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pecan!
Pecan who?
Pecan somebody your own size!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cantaloupe!
Cantaloupe who?
Cantaloupe to Vegas, our parents would get mad.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Bison!
Bison who?
Bison girl scout cookies!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Hungry clock!
Hungry clock who?
Hungry clcok who went back four seconds.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Pasta!
Pasta who?
Italian chef who pasta away.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Loaf!
Loaf who?
I don't just like bread, I loaf it.

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Water !
Water who ?
Water way to answer the door !

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Figs !
Figs who ?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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1/14/17 11:07 A

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An old joke in our family which the kids loved.

In the family home one day there was a rap rap noise, it was very annoying , rap rap . Mom searched everywhere to find the source of the noise, rap rap it went . Then she opened a drawer and unside was a roll of. wrapping paper!

Irene

Irene in Nottinghamshire UK
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Moving on to the 2nd silly Sat. in Jan. Hope you find lots of laughter in your day.

Wanda liked that IRS one, ha, ha.


Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: a meowntain

Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.

Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!

Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.

Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies?
A: An ambulance.

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will Let it go.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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1/7/17 10:40 A

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haha...good ones Shirl. I love #2.

After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Enclosed is a check for $150. If 
I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”



Confessions of a Store Santa

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”

The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, 
I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”

He promptly replied, “Another train.”

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Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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1/7/17 8:49 A

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Our first silly Saturday in Jan. Laughter will help us through this artic blast.

Short Winter Jokes

Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!

Q: What's an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
A: Because he thought his wife was a flake

Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.

Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: Where can you find an ocean without any water?
A: On a map!

Q: What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean?
A: H to O! (H20)

Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
A: Froze-T

Q: Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?
A: The outside!

Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?
A: Leeks!

Q: What did Amaruq say after building an igloo out of crystal clear ice?
A: "Living in a transparent igloo has its disadvantages - but you should see the murres smack it!"

Q: Why didn't the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?
A: He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake - and kept popping out of bed all night!

Q: What happened when all the muskox wool that was collected was stolen?
A: The police combed the area.

Q: If the sun shines while it's snowing, what should you look for?
A: Snowbows.

Q: What did one Greenland Shark say to the other?
A: "Say, good lookin'... didn't I meet you last night at the feeding frenzy?"

Q: What's a sign that you have an irrational fear of icebergs?
A: You start having water-tight compartments installed in your pants.

Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!"

Q: What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic?
A: Cold cream.


Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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12/31/16 9:51 A

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Well my friends here we are on the last day of 2016, had to get some New Year's stuff on here on our last day of Dec. and our last silly Saturday for 2016 on New Year's Eve.


Auld Lang Syne Lyrics (Short Version)

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,

We'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne

Auld Lang Syne Lyrics by Robert Burns (1788)

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne?

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu'd the gowans fine,
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit
Sin auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl't in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o' thine,
And we'll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye'll be your pint' stowp,
And surely I'll be mine,
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

Translation

Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And days of long ago !

Chorus:
For old long ago, my dear
For old long ago,
We will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago.

We two have run about the hillsides
And pulled the daisies fine,
But we have wandered many a weary foot
For old long ago.

We two have paddled (waded) in the stream
From noon until dinner time,
But seas between us broad have roared
Since old long ago.

And there is a hand, my trusty friend,
And give us a hand of yours,
And we will take a goodwill draught (of ale)
For old long ago!

And surely you will pay for your pint,
And surely I will pay for mine!
And we will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago!

New Years Eve
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

Happy New Year's Eve and a Happy New Year, may 2017 be filled with lots of laughter!

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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12/3/16 9:25 A

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Thank you for the giggles this morning Shirl. Let's see if I can add some more.

The Lost Purse

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."




Reindeer and Elf Jokes

What is the favorite food of elves?
Answer: "Elf"-aghetti!

How did elves climbed up to the top of Santa’s Castle?
Answer: Using an "Elf"-evator.

Elves use what kind of money?
Answer: Jingle bills!

What’s the first thing learned by elves in school?
Answer: The "elf"-abet!

Who makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin and lives at the North Pole?
Answer: Cinder-"elf"-a!



Positive Bloggers

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Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 10,979
12/3/16 8:50 A

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Well tis the season for some Christmas jokes.


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avery
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open til Christmas!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, it's a present!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Centipede.
Centipede who?
Centipede on the Christmas tree.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger...!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithfull...!

Grins & Giggles

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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11/26/16 10:11 A

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Wanda that's a good one. Sorry but seeing today is when we are celebrating Turkey Day I am posting one more Thanksgiving joke.


Potatoes
A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato,"Hey, I just found out I'm related to you."
The potato said," No you are not!"
The sweet potato said back,"Yes, I yam."

Grins & Giggles
Shirl



Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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11/26/16 9:12 A

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Up early...so here is Silly Saturday Nov 26

Ice Fishing


A blond decides to go ice fishing one day. She takes her stool and her fishing pole onto the ice, and cuts a big hole. Then a voice says:

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:

"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"

"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"

Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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11/19/16 10:45 A

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Wanda thanks for getting us going this morning with a giggle. I got caught up in doing things this morning so getting here a little late. Here's some Thanksgiving humor as that's coming up this week for us here in the states.


What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
They use FOWL language.

Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!

When do you serve tofu turkey?
Pranksgiving.

What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.

Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!

Dear Turkeys, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women.

What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where's popcorn?

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE!

Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats!

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy?
Spanksgiving.

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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11/19/16 10:27 A

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Nov 19: Silly Saturday

Join us in some laughs and giggles

Greed

In front of the local butcher's, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realised with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. It was, in fact, a collector's item.

He strolled into the store and offered two pounds for the cat. 'He's not for sale', said the butcher.Cat and Mouse picture

'Look', said the collector', that cat is dirty and scabby, but I'm an eccentric. I prefer cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten pounds'. 'It's a deal', said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten immediately.

'For that amount of money I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer', said the connoisseur', 'The kitten seems so happy drinking from it.'

'I can't do that', said the butcher firmly, 'That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I've sold 18 cats.'

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Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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11/12/16 9:45 A

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Thanks for the giggles Shirl...I'm thinking of #16 *grin*



Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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11/12/16 9:17 A

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We were at a cool 27 this morning, that's quite a drop from yesterday at 45. Need some laughter this morning to warm me up.

Wanda liked your post.

Thoughts from women.

1.Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
2. I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
3. If I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
4. My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the
    floor with a glance.
5. I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you
     could have seen it.
6. This isn't clutter, these are my antiques!
7. If you don't like my attitude, call 1-800-Who
     Cares.
8. Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
9. "Genuine Antique Person," Been there, done that,
       can't remember!
10. Our policy is to always blame the computer.
11. I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
12. Take my advice, I'm not using it!
13. Okay! I love you! Now can we eat?
14. You know you're getting old when you stop to
       think and forget to start again.
15. Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive
      you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
16. I love to give homemade gifts ... umm, which
      one of the kids would you like?
17. I have a million dollar figure -- but it's all loose
      change!
18. By the time you find greener pastures, you can't
       climb the fence!
19. This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
20. Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down
       till the feeling passes.

Grins & Giggles
Shirl

Shirl

Co-leader Positive Blogger's Team



Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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11/5/16 9:52 A

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Thanks for the giggles Shirl

Albert's wife passed away and he called 911. The 911 operator told him that they would send someone over right away and asked him where he lived.
"At the end of Eucalyptus Drive," Albert told her. The operator asked, "Could you please spell that for me?"
After a long pause, Albert said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"



Positive Bloggers

You are the creator of your own reality.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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