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YOYONOMORE1's Photo YOYONOMORE1 Posts: 8,883
6/5/11 3:14 P

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Ok, I posted with one liners yesterday, came here today and my post was not here, tired to post one for today from an e-mail and it wouldn't let me, so I've tired and it isn't working for me. I'll post and then edit and see what happens.

Ok, tired again I posted for Sunday and went back to get another funny for Sat. came back to copy that and my stuff I had previously done and posted was not here, so I am calling it quits for today, may try again tomorrow.

Hugs,
Shirl

Edited by: YOYONOMORE1 at: 6/5/2011 (15:26)
Shirl

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Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.
William Arthur Ward

Every day remind yourself of your own ability, of your good mind and affirm that you can make something really good out of your life. Norman Vincent Peale


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WANDAH3's Photo WANDAH3 SparkPoints: (97,411)
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6/4/11 10:58 A

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With all the "disasters" and stresses that have been happening lately in all our lives, I'm feeling like we need to lighten things up a bit and find our sense of balance and fun once again. This week's challenge will attempt to do that, so jump right in and help me on this one,.


1. Each day this week, post a funny. Something that brings a smile to your face and just might make someone else have a smile also.

Saturday:

Did You Ever Wonder?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:BILLY GRAHAM IN FLORIDA


Billy Graham had just finished a tour of the Florida East Coast
and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo,
he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the
chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he got in the back of the limo

and Billy took the wheel.


He turned onto I-95 and accelerated to about 90 MPH. WHAM! The
blue lights of the State Highway Patrol flashed in his rearview mirror.
He pulled over and a trooper came to his window. When the trooper saw
who it was, he said, "Just a moment, please, I need to call in."


The trooper radioed in and asked for the chief. He said, "I have a
REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do." The
chief replied, "Who is it, not Ted Kennedy again?" The trooper said, "No,

even more important." It isn't the Governor Jeb Bush, is it?" asked the
chief. "No, even more important," replied the trooper. "It isn't
the President George Bush, is it?" "No," replied the trooper, "even
more important."


"Well, WHO in the WORLD is it?!" screamed the chief. The
trooper responded: "I don't know for sure but I think it might be Jesus,
because his chauffeur is Billy Graham!"

Thursday:Directional Camping

A husband took his wife camping for the first time. Considering himself
an experienced outdoorsman, he passed along outdoor survival tips at
every chance he got. However, one day they got lost hiking in the deep
woods. The husband tried the usual tactics to determine direction --
moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was an
overcast day), etc., etc.

Just as his wife was beginning to panic, he spotted a small cabin off in
the distance. He pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned
and led them right back to the campsite.

"That was terrific," she said. "How did you do it?"

"Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all the TV satellite
dishes point south."

Friday:



2. Each day this week, send a positive greeting to a fellow sparkie.

3. Each morning, start your morning off with a cheery hello to yourself in the mirror and wish yourself a "great day".

Have fun and spread some laughter.

Hugs,
Wanda

Edited by: WANDAH3 at: 6/9/2011 (07:21)
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb
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