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7/15/11 4:14 P

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It looks like you have some helpful replies. Did your daughter develop "normally" as far as gross motor skills (walking, etc)? My son didn't walk until he was almost 2. We were officially in physical therapy with him from 12 months-36 months, but he graduated from therapy around 30 months and was accepted into the peer model program at his preschool. He talked early though. Our therapists said that is very common, a kid is "behind" in one area and very ahead in another. Kids focus on one skill and not on others. I agree with the suggestion about sign language. I used sign language with my son from about 8 months and on. His teachers at school knew some signs, but I had to teach them new ones so they could keep up with him. There are many signing books out there, ones developed for parents of kids and have easy pictures to follow. This would help her frustration. Good luck!

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5BLUEBIRDS's Photo 5BLUEBIRDS Posts: 106
7/7/11 4:01 A

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Wow! This struck a home note when I read your post. I hope you don't mind me sharing a bit of my insight and experiences.
First, I am hard-of-hearing and understand well the frustration that you and your daughter are dealing with, even though your daughter isn't h-o-h. From a personal stand, I would also like to encourage you to 1) be patient with your daughter, which I can tell that you are 2) you are and always will be your daughter's advocate. Learn to play that role well. 3) Personally, I don't think it matters whether the mother or family did drugs...point being that what good will it do to know...there is nothing that can undo the damage. It sounds like your precious mom is looking for something or someone to blame. That doesn't solve anything. You are wise to see through her and to know that she is being the caring grandparent that she knows how to be. Sure it is good to know as an adult, that there is a consequence, but after the consequence takes place, there is no way to undo it is best to not let it become an issue. My mom was exposed to German Measles soon after she found out that she was pregnant with me. She had gone over to a friend's home to have a cup of coffee and visited with her for about 3 hours. Her friend's son had stayed home from pre-school because he simply didn't feel good that morning. No one thought anything of it. The little boy went in to see the doctor that afternoon, and got the diagnosis. The mother then, called my mom. Back then, the procedure was to get a shot...this was a painful one to take as it is injected into the mother's womb. Years later studies were showing that there was a possible link to deformities due to the shot. So...who really knows? And then my next question is..."Does it really matter now?" (No. Not really, cause it isn't going to fix my problem). And so society wants me to pursue the question further and find out the real cause of the problem. The problem is, even if people found out the can't fix it. So, your main focus is how can you best help your sweet daughter now. 4) Stay focused 5) My mom never revealed any remorse or regret in front of was never allowed in her mind to become an issue. However, now that I am a mother of 5, I know darn well she wept...just out of my sight. 6) Look for your Polyanna moments. By that I mean, as you go along look for the benfits/good in the midst of your unfortunate circumstance. 7) Think positive. Sometimes it will be hard to do, but it is by far so much more rewarding.

My last quick note is that I recently worked as a nanny to a little girl who couldn't speak, her situation is very much like your daughter's. At 6 mos. she was babbling some, then she was struck with an unexplained high fever overnight and was sick for several days. Afterwards, she didn't babble much at all, and then her mom noticed that there was no progression in her speach. She was the only one who thought/knew there was a problem. In spite of the rest of us (me,husband, extended family, etc.) she kept insisting that something wasn't right. Soon after my little friend turned one, a professional did a hearing test (as best as one can do for a child that young), which turned out fine. Then she had some therapists examine her from a local program called First Steps. The team of three or four therapists agreed that she was a class book case of Aproxia (sp?). So, they lined her up with the best therapist and they have worked with her for just over 10 months. Ella is 2.7 yo. She has made alot of progress, but still has a long way to go. So, I want to encourage to hang in there. There could be much worse problems.
As the other posters mentioned, Aproxia is a condition when the brain and the physical formation of the words have not yet made a connection. Ella's mom did her homework and found that there were some things that she could do at home. The first thing they had her do was to work on making animal sounds and babbling letter sounds like la-la-la, da-da-da, ma-ma-ma. Maybe you could work on doing some of that if you aren't already. It certainly wouldn't do any harm. Make it fun, sing Old MacDonald...let her say moo-moo-moo, and quack quack quack..etc. Praise her for her efforts.
Good luck, and may blessings abound to you and your precious little one.


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5/11/11 10:34 A

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My foster sister was 3 when she came to my family, not potty trained, unable to say anything besides no. Her progress was shes a little mentally slow and failure to thrive her dad did do drugs as well as her birth mom . My mom choose a different diagnoses, tough love. Any time she wanted something she had to try and form a word(no signals) wa for water was okay but then water was repeated multiple times. Everyone obeyed that rule, teachers, siblings, realtives it was not a choice to give in no matter how frustrating it was Every time she needed/wanted something a word had to be attempted before it was given.She improved slowly month by month but now 2.5 years later she is in kindergarten and was named by her teacher one of the brightest in the class. My cousin has down syndrome and was told he'd never talk, walk, etc.. well hes 19 and wrote me a letter the other day, plays basketball,swimming, and bowling in the special Olympics. My aunt used the tough love practice as well he can write, talk, read and do many things professionals said he wouldn't. Don't give up just work with her a lot and you might be pleasantly surprised.

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5/6/11 3:20 P

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My son did not speak on the given timeline. I kept mentioning it to the pediatricians and they kept saying that everyone develops differently. When he started Kindergarten they put him in speech therapy and he repeated Kindergarten to give him more time to develop.

He continued to struggle in school with them telling me he was basically "slow" until the beginning of 4th grade when I reached my limit of frustration with teachers and started home schooling. He was home-schooled until Middle School when we moved to a new area and school district. He was an honor roll student all through Middle School and into high school where he is taking subjects like Russian where he maintains an A average.

He still remains a very unique person and introverted. He does have many friends and plays football and runs track at the high school. When we talk about him taking longer to talk he says he knew how, he just didn't want to. I guess you would have to know him to understand that comment better.

My final take on everything is you, as the mother, have to be the advocate for your child. Get help from the professionals but don't ever let them stop you from doing whats best for your child. They are dealing with so many large amounts of people and they are working with solutions that fit the majority (which may or may not work for you) not the solution that fits your unique child.

Don't ever give up in pushing for what they need to succeed. As moms it's a huge responsibility that we have but if we don't do it our children are on their own in a school system that tries to label them "slow."

Of course, not every school is like that, and that was just my experience but do fight for your childrens best interests.

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4/19/11 6:44 P

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i know this from bopth sides one being a child with speach problems due to hearing problems and the frustrations of trying to get my point across to people who wasnīt prepared to make the effort to understand me and also the side of the concerned mother of three children who all have a speach problem my 8 and 5 year old being in speach therepy and my 2 year old though not in speach therapy at the moment will be in a couple of years.there can be many reasons for a child not speaking,down to a hearing problem,being brought up with more languages(my kids are being brought up trilingual)problems with the conection to brain or even shyness.also outside influance like drugs/medicines/drink/smoke the children speaking each child is differant depending on the reasons above or on if they are a only child or if they have older siblings or c go to preschool etc.also some children are more visual than others and can understand better with pictures or signs.try to not put too much pressure on your child or yourself.find out if you had problems when you were little or the father of your daughter.i know my hearing problems as a child are heradity and my oldest son has inherated it,we donīt know about the other two yet.but that wont also surprise me.also concider getting his eyes checked as i said some people are visdual and hear better when they see the person speaking etc(automatically lip reading or reading the facial exspression to get a better idea.i know i fall into the latter cariotory which is why i hate the phone.the main thing is that you and your daughter find a way to comicate.are you sure she canīt talk or that she wont my 5 year old when he first went to kindergarten they thought he couldnīt speak as for the first 4 months he was there he never said a word then he got used to thenm and opened up now they say he talks ten to the dozen and canīt stop hoim,lol.get her ears and eyes checked then take it up from there.keep us informed and know you are not on your own.


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4/18/11 11:59 A

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I really think that children all develop differently. I certainly wouldn't attirbute late speaking to attending daycare! I have a nephew (who never attended daycare) who was a late talker. The doctors discovered that he had suffered hearing loss from ear infections. After having tubes put into his ears his speech improved dramatically!!! So, this may be something you want to look into...if you haven't. I'm sorry that you are going through this. Anytime our children are going through anything that makes us feel helpless it is stressful! Just know that you have a team of folks here supporting you!

Edited by: CURVIEMAMA at: 4/18/2011 (12:00)

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4/17/11 1:33 P

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I have the article some where that mentions the fact that some young children who attend day care more likely start talking later in life because they are not learning to speak by their parents. of course I don't exactly your circumstances.

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BALANCE46's Photo BALANCE46 Posts: 104
4/17/11 7:24 A

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Have you tried using sign language? I have used it for all my children, since before they were able/supposed to talk. Children can sign long before they can talk. It takes some time before they "get it" but you do the sign while you say the word, and eventually, they start signing back. My 21 month old is also speech delayed as far as I can tell (my Pedi hasn't officially said so yet, but he had the bare minimum of words at 18 months to be "normal" and I don't think he's added any since then). He can say maybe 10-15 words. With signing maybe 20. We thank God for sign language which he uses to tell us some of his most pressing needs (hunger, thirst, "all done", more, help, etc.). This doesn't help the actual "speech" issue, but certainly helps the frustration level for all concerned. Interestingly, the Pedi told me they "count" the signing words in totally up their words - its an attempt to communicate. I think it also helps them diagnose long term what TYPE of problem might be invovled - wanting/trying to communicate is one type of problem vs. having the physical ability to do it is another. Good luck!

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4/16/11 9:46 P

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Two of my nieces children were late talkers and as far as I know they were not exposed to meth. I do have a 3 year old foster daughter who is having speech problems and I do know her mom was a drug user. We have a program in the school district called Early Childhood Development which Shilah qualifies for. She gets frustrated when we don't understand her. I am starting to do a lot better understanding her. Our adopted daughter had speech delays and didn't talk much at 2 and a half but once she was around us for a while she started talking a lot. We took her for some speech therapy and it helped a lot. As far as I know Tamela wasn't around meth unless it was some of her mom's relatives. I don't think her parents did drugs but mom had some relatives who did.

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4/16/11 7:17 P

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Hi Christina.

My name is Kim. I have a 3.5 year old daughter, Ginny, who didn't talk until her third birthday. We worked with First Steps (I'm not sure what city you are in, but I think the program is national) for her entire 2nd year. Our therapist was wonderful, but we didn't make a whole lot of progress. First Steps is a program that runs until their 3rd birthday. After that, I believe that you have to go through your township school program, which it sounds like you are already doing. Our therapist was with us for 10 months. No kidding, our last session was a Tuesday, her birthday was Wednesday, and she had so much to say to me on Thursday. I was sad for the therapist. He had worked with us for so long, and then her speech explosion occured two days after he was gone.

When I took her to our township's Early Childhood Center for the evaluation for services beyond her 3rd birthday, the speech therapist for the school felt that she had something called Apraxia. It's where the mind and the mouth aren't communicating properly. They warned me that if we didn't get on top of the speech, it would become a behavioral issue due to her lack of communication skills. I think we still struggle with a little bit of that. Sometimes, she screams and throws things out of frustration, rather than ask for help. Her speech has improved tremendously, but I've always felt that she's about a year behind. So, at 3.5, there are several times that I still can't understand what she is saying. I feel that she speaks like a 2.5 year old who has just mastered communicating with speech to get what he/she wants. She still only speaks in 3-5 word sentences, can't pronounce 'th' (thanks = sanks), ect... Unfortunately, because of budget cuts, the school system doesn't offer therapy sessions over the summer. They recommended that we put her in a summer camp program a couple days a week this summer so that she'll get some peer interaction. She is now testing at normal levels for her articulation, but her communication skills are a little behind, so she is still receiving services.

Is this something that your Pediatrician didn't pick up on? Did she have a lot of ear infections, and have you had her hearing tested? That could be a major player in all of this. Ginny did have several infections until we had tubes put in, but there was no impact on her hearing. What is the therapist at the school saying? And about the meth thing, I wouldn't put a lot of stock into it. My best friend's ex-husband was apparently doing cocaine when they got pregnant with their second child. An MRI showed very slight shrinkage of his brain. He had a handful of developmental problems that worked themselves out with therapy. I did read somewhere that cocaine use during the time of conception could cause the problems that he was experiencing. This is a double edged sword, if you mention it to your Ped, then #1) you might get further medical treatment to check for defects like that, but, #2) it'll go into her medical record that 'father is/was a drug user', ect...

I don't really know what to tell you. I would be persistent with your school. Make sure she's getting as much therapy as possible. I'd like to tell you that she'll speak when she's ready to speak, but I've been in those shoes before and I know how frustrating it is.

Good luck and let me know how things work out for you.


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4/15/11 4:25 P

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Hey everybody! My name is Christina and I was wanting to talk to some people about my daughters speech. She is going to be 3 in July and she is still not saying much. She does say things here and there but at her age she is supposed to have a vocab of around 200 words and she probably says 20-25. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced there child talking late. She is great in everything else but sometimes its difficult because she cannot express things that she wants and she gets so frustrated. I just got her re-enrolled in a speech therapy program and she will be in that for a couple months then she can continue that in preschool. My mom asked me the other day if her (sperm donor) had ever done meth. I told her yeah and before I could finish she got all crazy over the phone saying she knew it she knew it! I asked her what she was going off about and she said that my dad listened to NPR and they said that if a child is even in the area when someone is doing meth they could have speech problems and possibly never talk. I told her she is crazy! I was trying to tell her that he told me he had done it before but he NEVER did it when he was around my daughter. I know she is just being a caring grandma but sometimes she just makes it worse when she tries to come up with all of these reasons why Alani isn't talking. If anyone has gone through this or knows someone going through this I would love to hear your story.. Thanks! Have a good Friday and weekend! emoticon

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