Hi Hannah. I have a lot of the same issues, maybe not as extreme as yours. You have been given some good advice, please try to follow it. You need to sit down and make a list of things that you do like about yourself. Then make a list of things that you want to change and make a list of the steps that you will take to try and accomplsh them. Try writing good things about yourself every day.
Co-Leader of Fighting Depression with Movement http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_ individual.asp?gid=56426
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.--Ivania Vanzant.
Life is short, live it; Love is rare, grab it; Anger is bad, let it go; Fear is a mind killer, face it; Memories are sweet, cherish them. www.atti-tude.com
August Minutes: 0
Fitness Minutes: (38,995) Posts: 24,126 6/16/12 11:53 P
Hi HANNA4ROSE - I am wondering if this feeling is increasing again. There seems to be something about this time of year for you??
Apart from that, have you touched base with your Dr yet? I remember your comment a wee while ago saying something like she didn't understand!
You have the benefit of knowing what the depression is doing to you, and deep down, you know what you need to do to allow others to help you more - you need to reach out in your physical life rather than telling yourself that you need to be reclusive. A good therapist and your Dr can help you there! Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet and take that leap. Another thing is to walk to the letter box and back - a little more exercise and fresh air. Rather than NOT having a shower and looking for excuses, if you have a bath as well, run it, put some favourite perfume into the water and have a really long soak with some gentle music playing in the background. That often helps a person to feel better about themselves, and I am sure that you enjoy that fresh feeling after!
I hope that within the next couple days you will come back here and tell us that you HAVE made an appointment with your Dr. IF you find that your last line is getting to be a reality and you are a danger to yourself, please either phone 911 or go to the nearest Emergency Department for help.
Below are a list of phone no's for you - print them out to keep in your handbag and by the phone.
National Suicide Hotlines USA Toll Free, 24/7
1-800-799-4TTY (4889)- Deaf Hotline
For individual USA State hotlines: http://suicidehotlines.com/ and select the dropdown for your State
ē Call 411 and ask for: Suicide Hotline ē Dial 0 and ask for: Suicide Hotline ē Check the FRONT of the phone book for: ē suicide prevention ē crisis intervention ē hotlines - crisis or suicide ē community crisis center ē county mental health center ē hospital mental health clinic ē Or. call 911 and ask for help. Tell them you are in suicidal danger.
For additional hotlines, use The International Suicide Prevention Wiki (ISP Wiki) which is a worldwide directory of suicide prevention hotlines, text-lines, and resources.
Why am I so passive? Iím in this state of self-induced helplessness. Why canít I be like normal people who eat when theyíre hungry, are happy for no reason, socialize with friends, are willing to ask for or go get what they want, even if its manipulative. Take regular showers, eat 3 times a day, comb their hair, brush their teeth, have children, find things to do to keep busy. I live with this self-imposed helplessness. I stop asking for what I want or need. I stop taking care of myself. I live like a hermit. I avoid leaving the house so I donít have to take a shower. Occasionally I will myself to do these things, but most of the time I canít or wonít. And with each passing moment, hour, day, week I hold back until even the simplest of chores or activities become a big deal in my mind because Iíve been intending to do it for months. The longer I wait the bigger it becomes in my mind until I donít do it at all because of all the mental roadblocks Iíve built in my head. I live in fear. I canít live like this forever and die a slow death.
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