Hi Billylynn, We are really glad that you have decided to join us! I'm happy that you have "found"us. I tried to stop by your Spark Page to leave you a welcoming goodie, but you have it set to private, so I'm sending you a and a warm here. I love the phrase "cultivate gratitude." It's a good thing for me to remember. You have a positive attitude that is impressive and uplifting. I don't know much about epilepsy, but I do know about being bipolar. Congratulations on finding a drug that works so well for your epilepsy. Keep trying with the antidepressants. Working with your health care provider you will find the right mix for you. Post often, we are here to offer encouragement, advice if asked for and support when you need it. We love to hear about your progress and celebrate your victories with you. I look forward to learning more about you from your posts. It is wonderful to have you with us on this journey! Take care and God bless, Deb
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Hi I'm just finding g this group. I know exactly what you're talking about. I''ve had to try about 20 different drugs and I think for now I've got something that works. Depression is a problem. Don't quite have the right combination for that yet, but seizures are rare - one a year. YEA I get that feeling of "waiting" for a seizure to happen sitting in a corner. All I can say is cultivate gratitude. Someone always has it worse. Some days you almost feel normal. Love those days. On the other days, remember they will come again. Short term memory loss really sucks. On the other hand I must be forgetting a lot of scrap too.
All in all, I fall down a lot- get discouraged- have bruises on my bruises, but every time I get back up it matters and I feel better about myself. The drugs are awful, but you can do this. You're stronger than you think.
Live out of your imagination, not your history. Steven Covey
September Minutes: 0
Fitness Minutes: (33,948) Posts: 10,619 1/31/12 8:43 P
DSELINGER and to SparkPeople and the team...Nice to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
THANK YOU for your kind and thoughtful responses. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you, and please keep in touch with our group. We are very patient; we have BIG ears for listening, and HUGE shoulders for one to cry upon. WE CARE!
Co-Leader of the Fitness Instructors Team Senior Moderator of the Dealing with Depression Team
Perhaps grief therapy MAY be more beneficial than the medication - I would discuss this with your Neuro-Psychiatrist tomorrow, too! Is there a Miscarriage Support Group anywhere around you? Some people benefit from belonging to a group of others who have experienced the same.
Wow, I'm grateful for the welcome from Kris and Deb T. It made a big difference to me:
That article listed 10 losses that can cause grief, and if you substitute 'menopause' for 'miscarriage' (think about it), I am experiencing every one, all from the last freaky year.
It hadn't occurred to me that grief played a part in my rearranged mind. Loss and trauma, yes. Derangement from the seizures and drugs, yes. The Me that's been smothered under all those layers, the one with little-remembered memories and skills, the essential Me: I know I'm here, and 'grief' perfectly describes what I'm feeling.
That's a profound realization, because I necessarily question what it is that I'm feeling, pretty much all the time. Now that I know the name of the feeling, I have helpful perspective.
I'm also thinking that too many drugs spoil the pot. Grief is normal. Seizures are not. I want to treat the latter first and foremost. Now before we all panic at Deb turning down the psych drug, let's take a look at anti-seizure drugs that are used to treat depression. That's what I'm going to say to the neuropsychiatrist tomorrow.
I am an experienced sick person. (I sure hope you all can hear that I speak in a very wry voice. It's wry or cry for me.) I've lived next door to depression for years; we have tea on Tuesdays. I was already happily coping with thyroid, metabolic, and blood sugar imbalances garnishing fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, before I first seized epileptic last year.
I'll bet a majority of women on this team live with one of those things, and they know one doesn't have to be perfect to be happy. I am the queen of coping methods, but I'm still catching up on the latest developments using an injured brain, so I'm glad to hear all suggestions. I'll pass on a few myself.
Thanks again. Be patient with me, I'm very slow. It took 90 minutes to write this.
Warmly, Deb. S.
Edited by: DSELINGER at: 1/29/2012 (16:26)
Fitness Minutes: (0) Posts: 4 1/29/12 3:27 P
Thank you, Pam. I am surprised at how good it feels to read your message. I did feel like the odd one out in life, and I am encouraged to be part of a team.
It's a hard slog seeing through the drugs and seizures, but I will get to all the parts of this program. It's taken me several weeks to wrangle just the food logging! The page will come, but dang it's hard to work with no memory. I've relearned the system I don't know how many times.
I liken this latest medical challenge to struggling through mud for the first year. Now I'm pushing through water, and looking forward to the walk on the beach. I can't remember the sidewalk. But lotuses bloom only in mud, eh? Stick with me and one day my beauty can help others.
Fitness Minutes: (33,948) Posts: 10,619 1/28/12 6:47 P
Hi and to the Spark People and the Dealing with Depression team. This is a very caring and compassionate group. I am so very sorry for the problems that your illness has left you with. You will find fellowship and support here. Kris has given you some very good information. I hope to see you on the threads and posting often, so that we can encourage you along the way. It is wonderful to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle. Take care and God bless, Deb T.
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Pounds lost: 0.0
Fitness Minutes: (32,641) Posts: 21,446 1/28/12 6:19 P
Welcome to our Team :-) I feel for you having to go through that. I know what it is like, but for other reasons. Sometimes we have to learn to adjust - there are coping strategies that you can utilize - i.e. where memory is a problem, you can have occasional photos of the past to ENJOY what you have experienced (not to mope on the present), reminder notes in strategic places, etc. I use my mobile phone for appointment reminders, and I have an extensive diary (on a spreadsheet on the computer). Therapy, if you aren't already receiving it, will help you to deal with what life has dealt you - you are grieving on top of other things. Below is a link re grief: www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss. ht m
Where it comes to food, you have identified that you UNDEReat! Well, a coping strategy for that is to consume some high energy foods - things like nuts - even ice-cream has nutrients such as calcium etc. Smoothies with ground almonds, added milk powder etc. is also very good. Of course, eating regular meals is obviously difficult for you so if you could just graze over the course of the day, you might be surprised to find that you DO eat enough! Use the nutrition tracker to keep tabs on what you are consuming and you will soon realize that you will be able to tweak it to your benefit!
The neuropsychiatrist has told me that 80% of newly epileptic adults like me will experience depression with bipolar qualities.
Anti-epilepsy drugs also have a side effect of depression. The drug adventures so far are arguably worse than the seizures; it's a crapshoot as their effects on individuals are unpredictable, like me.
It's pretty depressing to be this sick! So I'm being offered a drug for that, too.
For the first time in my life, my food problem is not eating enough. If you spend life in a corner waiting for the next seizure, and don't eat... surprise, you gain weight. And forget how you walked a marathon three years ago. And have memory impairment in just about every aspect of living.
If you have had any of these situations in your life, I would sure like to hear from you.
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