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3/27/12 7:45 P

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i lost my grandfather nearly 10 years ago all i can suggest is to remember hes in a better place
and as hard as it may seem take some time to focus on your grieve dont bottle it up and try to tough it out im not saying fall to pieces but not dealing with now will just make it harder later find someone you trust to just talk to and remember the good times as well i hope this helps

RHINOBLANCA's Photo RHINOBLANCA SparkPoints: (2,260)
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10/11/11 12:04 P

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Tomorrow is grandpa's funeral and I'm really starting to feel the loss. I find it so hard to believe that such a mighty man is gone. I'm working to keep myself together, but I find that it might be time to grieve. I'm scared of sinking into depression.

Thanks again for the support. I think it's helped me hold it together a little.

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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (120,826)
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10/8/11 5:34 P

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I am sorry for your loss, but pleased that for him this is over! My grandfather died 35 years ago, on my sister's 30th birthday, and my father died 31 years ago. One thing that never fades are the lovely memories - the warm fuzzies, and the funny ones!

BIG hugs to you,
Kris xxx

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10/8/11 12:55 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so sorry for your loss RHINOBLANCA. Keeping you in thought and prayer today. We are here for you to listen should you just want to vent.

May happy memories flood your mind today of your grandfather.
emoticon
Nancy

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

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RHINOBLANCA's Photo RHINOBLANCA SparkPoints: (2,260)
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10/8/11 12:45 P

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My grandfather passed this morning.

Thanks for all the support. It definitely made it easier.

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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (120,826)
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10/6/11 5:13 A

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I was a former caregiver and one of my specialties was terminal nursing. I used to go into people's own homes. I was also a caregiver in a Rest Home for a few years. One of the things that I learned was that often we may assume the terminally ill patient is suffering, but in fact they aren't. Often a lot of pain is either not present, or minimal because of good pain relief. Where it comes to emotional suffering, they are generally ready to pass. I have heard many mention that they were looking forward to it, and they weren't being morose, either. It is just that their body and mind becomes very tired as it gradually shuts down, and this tiredness relieves a lot of physical/emotional stress from them. I firmly believe that in most instances, when a person passes, it is their time! They often share this belief, too!

I am glad that "something" (or was it "SOMEONE???") told you to post! I am also pleased to see that your body has told you that you can eat small meals :-)

Big Hugs,
Kris xx

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RHINOBLANCA's Photo RHINOBLANCA SparkPoints: (2,260)
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10/5/11 12:31 P

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I really appreciate all the advice and kind words. I'm normally shy, but something told me to post here and reach out for help. I'm glad I did.

My grandfather is still alive. It's only a matter of time. I feel so sad for him and every night I pray he's not suffering. Thank you for praying along with me.

I am able to eat now. I eat small meals that are balanced. I am continuing to work out, except at a lower intensity. My body feels weak. I know it's grief.

I'll continue to post and let you know how I am doing. Right now I feel I'm doing as well as I can.

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BUTTERFLYHOWL's Photo BUTTERFLYHOWL Posts: 45
10/4/11 10:26 P

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As everyone else has said, what you are experiencing is a natural reaction to grief. Even if you can't make yourself eat a full meal, grabbing an apple or a piece of peanut butter toast is important to keep your body going. If you let your health decline, your mind and body will not allow you to process your grief properly, which is what anyone who is grieving needs to do to get on with their life. Please keep posting here to let us know how you are doing and let us provide support.



The wrinkles in our life create the wrinkles on our face. The wrinkles on our face portray the attitude we carry about the wrinkles in our life. That is why it is important to learn to laugh at the wrinkles in life. Laugh wrinkles look better than frown wrinkles!


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ECONLADY's Photo ECONLADY Posts: 5,412
10/4/11 9:08 P

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I'm so sorry about your loss. Keep exercising and the eating will take care of it self. My prayers are with you.

Edited by: ECONLADY at: 10/4/2011 (21:09)
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10/4/11 6:16 P

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I am really sorry to hear of your sad time. Hopefully your grandfather will soon be at peace.

When my Dad died very unexpectedly 31 years ago, I had virtually a week with very little food at all. I wasn't hungry! When I started to feel better, my appetite improved quite a bit. Perhaps at this time, just have very small meals of bland-type food to sustain you. Things like mashed potato, custard, stewed apple, mashed banana, or toast may be enough to get you through this time. I wouldn't be too focused on weight-loss at the moment. Going for walks might help you deal with your thoughts/feelings, and even provide some "want" to eat.

Here is a link re grieving that you may find useful:
www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.
ht
m


Take care and keep in touch,
Kris

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ABBEMINE's Photo ABBEMINE SparkPoints: (21,637)
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10/4/11 4:48 P

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Hi, I go out and walk in God's Nature. It is soothing and very peaceful when I talk to God and tell him my troubles. Take care and have a safe journey

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NANCYLEE46's Photo NANCYLEE46 SparkPoints: (96,448)
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10/4/11 3:25 P

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I am so sorry RHINOBLANCA to hear of your grandfather. I do know how hard it is. I lost my dad a little over 6 years ago.

Please know what you are experiencing is perfectly normal - it is part of grieving. Hopefully you have family/friends to go through this with and of course we are here to support you and just be a listening ear.

Lynne is right about eating even though it is difficult it will help you to stay strong both physically and emotionally. I have an article in my favorites about coping with grief that helped me immensely. Here is the link helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm Not only does it have many coping techniques but it also explains what to expect.

Please keep us posted and know we are here for you.
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Nancy

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TREATL's Photo TREATL Posts: 5,998
10/4/11 1:32 P

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I'm sorry that you are experiencing your current loss. Even though you grandfather hasn't passed away yet, you know that he will be soon. Please feel free to keep in touch with us for support during this troubling time.

It's so important to continue eating healthy foods at this time. If you don't eat adequately, your body will go into "starvation mode." You can exercise all you want, but you will not shed pounds. Also, if your body is lacking protein, it will break down your own muscle tissue for energy and for "repair" of those muscles for "injury" due to exercising.

The best way to make sure this doesn't happen is to use the Fitness and Nutrition Trackers every day to track calories in and calories out. Stay in touch, okay? That way we can provide encouragement for any difficulties and support for your progress.

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"When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.” Mr. Rogers


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BLUEROSE73's Photo BLUEROSE73 SparkPoints: (112,571)
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10/4/11 11:23 A

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I use workouts to numb pain sometimes too. It releases natural painkillers. So go ahead and keep exercising.

As for food, view it as fuel for these workouts. Realize if you don't eat, you won't be able to work out. Just focus on that. Eat lean protiens, complex carbs, and lots of freggies. I know you won't be able to eat a lot, so make what you are able to eat count. Healthy. High nutrition. It will keep you going.

And don't forget to drink your water. It'll help.

Your appetite will come back.

Katrina
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Go little Turtle Go!


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RHINOBLANCA's Photo RHINOBLANCA SparkPoints: (2,260)
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10/4/11 11:16 A

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My grandfather was just taken off life-sustaining things, like all his IVs and left on a breathing tube. It's only a matter of time. I hurt so bad my body aches. I just want his suffering to stop no matter how bad it hurts me. I really do. So I don't know why it's killing me. :(

The main question I have is this: Yesterday I worked out 10 minutes longer than usual. Today the same thing. It's been numbing the pain for me. I don't want to quit working out, but I make myself! At the same time, I can barely eat. How do I find a balance?

Any advice is greatly appreciated. I know I'm not the only one that's been through this. So I'm reaching out. Please help.

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