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Posts: 5,332 3/20/11 4:11 P
I normally feel exhausted after seeing my shrink. I have emptied my emotional bucket.
current weight: 159.6
Fitness Minutes: (4,407) Posts: 98 3/19/11 10:43 P
I've had a couple of therapists, partly because I move a lot and partly because some of them just haven't worked for me. I always felt like my first therapist wanted to talk about himself... I know he was trying to be empathetic, but it just felt pushy. And I could never tell him when I was pissed at him.
My new therapist is great and I'm actually really freaked out about moving again and losing her; it can be hard to get the right fit. But what makes her so great is:
1) We set goals, short term and long term 2) She gives me homework or asks me to follow up on actions we've discussed 3) We make a point of coming up with "until next time" actions 4) I tell her when I don't like something she says or an idea she has
Remember, as callous as this may sound, your therapist is not your friend or your family. They care about you, but the way they show it is not the way your friends might show it and you don't have to treat them like your friends. I mean, they are human beings deserving of respect, but you don't have to coddle them, you can be honest with your frustrations at how therapy is going.
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It make perfect since to feel worse after a therapy session. You just opened yourself up to therapist. A lot of the things that come out in sessions is the past and how were doing. It involves a lot of emotions which exhaust us on so many different levels. If your feeling bad after every session and don't feel like it is making a difference to you then you might not have the right therapist. It takes a while to get one that connects with you. It is important to have that connection or the sessions are pointless. Hopefully the sessions will get better for you.
Fitness Minutes: (5,225) Posts: 285 2/11/11 5:21 P
I do the same thing: Bottling it up or waiting for it to go away. Now that I have my moods under control (I'm bipolar) it seems like everything else is coming out. The PTSD, my anxiety. It's frustrating. I've been in therapy since I was like 7 after my parents divorced. Switched around a lot of therapists. I usually feel more relieved than anything because for 1. I HATE crying. I absolutely despise it. And I hate feeling weak. ESPECIALLY in front of other people. The only time I really feel comfortable crying is with my mom or with my therapist. So I can sometimes get a good cry out in a safe place.
View your therapist as a safe place. A safe place where you can be completely and entirely free. Talk about anything and everything. It doesn't just have to be depressing. Talk about your life, your job, your pets, kids, anything. Have you told your therapist that you feel more depressed than anything after therapy?
I'm usually pretty helpful in this department if you ever want to talk one on one. Just shoot me a mail and I'll put my contact info up on my spark page.
current weight: 260.0
Posts: 5,332 2/11/11 5:19 P
Ask yourself is this therapist a good fit. You should feel comfortable telling him/her everything. If you don't, it might be time to find a new therapist. I've been seeing the same woman off and on for twenty years. Why so long? My issues have been like an onion. I pull off a layer or more, then runaway. It's hard work to face trauma. Sometimes I leave feeling depressed, sometimes strong, but mostly drained. Follow your heart or inner voice. If something feels wrong it could be therapist or you aren't ready.
FYI-When I leave depressed it is normally because I am hiding from my pain.
current weight: 159.6
Fitness Minutes: (214,578) Posts: 19,824 2/11/11 1:27 P
my therapist always provided me with a really eye-opening experience this may have been because my therapy was situational at the time and i talked about any and everything and just the talking (having no one to talk to can really stunt your growth) was so beneficial to me she never had to ask me what's up because i was in there to use my hour and get things i needed to do done..no one can open you up as well as you can do yourself..maybe i found the right one (having several different therapists in several different places and all for situational stuff maybe that was good) but i have never had anyone who wouldn't listen for sure hugs the lady mary you gotta just let go for sure and trust and that's is either something you can do or not but you are paying the money to someone to listen and that you can trust to pour out all the longings and stuff in your heart
TODAY IS LIFE THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL
there is no cause when there is no effect km
i can do that, but not on a tuesday for that is my day of thrust in the opposite direction - off the starboard bow over the hurdles, and down the shute.
last is just the slowest winner. c.hunter boyd
people often say that motivation doesn't last. well neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. zig ziglar
if i stitch fast enough do
Pounds lost: 273.0
Posts: 1,716 2/11/11 11:35 A
I echo what other people have expressed to you...therapy is not suppose to be a feel good experience because you are addressing some difficult issues. That's why you entered therapy in the first place. You have good friends to discuss the good things in life and your therapist is not really your friend. They wiork for you. You have hired them to do a job. That's not to say you cannot have good times in therapy, it's just not the norm. What i did was set some goals for my therapy and shared those with my therapist. I told her that i didn't feel like i was getting anywhere. She made me work harder and now many times i leave her office feeling worse than i did when i walked in, but at least i know that my therapy is working. If i left feeling good all the time i would feel like i had not worked. Please know that you can come here anytime to talk. I believe that things will improve for you I care about what happens to you as well. Looking forward to getting to know you.
"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."
Pounds lost: 12.0
Fitness Minutes: (8,232) Posts: 27,137 2/11/11 11:09 A
You have yet to reach 'AFTER therapy'. There is, as others have noted, a process that comes in small increments during which we discover parts of the puzzle that are not pretty at all. Please talk candidly to your therapist about how you feel at this point. It sounds like you are in very early stages of this valuable process.
Do be aware that sometimes a specific therapist is not a match for the client. If after talking out your current feelings on the subject of therapy you still feel this is not the partner you want in the process then look for someone new. There is hope...and you deserve to feel that hope as you work through your past and present experiences.
Co-moderator Dealing With Depression
Team Leader Living with Neuropathy
Co-moderator SP Class of May 1-7, 2011
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. -Anonymous
If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing here in the pits? -Erma Bombeck
Pounds lost: 22.0
Posts: 12,720 2/11/11 10:27 A
It's likely that you're looking at things that you haven't examined in quite the same way before, which can be unsettling in itself. Choosing to begin therapy was a positive step. You know from your own experience how debilitation depression can be...impossible for it to be easy to overcome, sad to say.
Definitely let the therapist know about the feelings and thoughts you're expressing here. They are important to the process and not unusual for someone who's been at it for not all that long. You may be "better off" than a man I met many years ago at a party. He'd begun to see a therapist about two months before. His early response was to be negative about EVERYTHING. I mentioned that I like the ride on the Staten Island Ferry, just to cross over and see the statue and the harbor, and stay on for the ride back, a free, refreshing, invigorating total of an hour. His response: " I hate the ferry. It goes nowhere, just back and forth with no destination. That's only one example of a long string of negative expressions from him. I think he was blocking out experience itself, forgetting or just not knowing that the journey counts at least as much as the destination.
You began with a certain expectation or hope that hasn't been the reality. Don't let this disappointment deter you from working toward your goal. As much as we it, it's a matter of adjusting your expectations and allowing yourself to go through the process, warts and all.
LAURIE, NYC No one said it would be easy, but it can be easier.
current weight: 258.0
Posts: 2,453 2/11/11 9:42 A
Yes, it is normal to feel worse before you feel better.
Have you told your therapist how you feel? Have you expressed how you don't feel you are making progress? Flat out said that?
A lot of times we say things in a roundabout way, hoping our meaning is conveyed, but it isn't. We are afraid to be direct. Have you been direct with her?
Therapy is a process. You need to communicate what is going on in order to get help you need.
current weight: 239.6
Posts: 812 2/11/11 9:35 A
My experience with therapy was there were times I left feeling horrible and never wanting to return. I don't know that you'll find progress after one session but I would hope that you would find progress after a series of sessions. I would hope that you are being given tools to deal with your struggles, ways to figure things out, ways to deal with it, ways to get past it, you said that they've told you to get over it. That's not a solution. I think you could feel worse before feeling better. Do you feel any better having let go of some of the pain, having put your struggles out there? Have you tried different therapists? I hate to see you not get what you need.
current weight: 218.2
Posts: 236 2/11/11 9:24 A
I never started therapy expecting to feel great, I was hoping to find ways to approach the issues I'm struggling with that I haven't tried. I was hoping to find PROGRESS after a session, HOPE that I will be able to overcome depression. I leave feeling hopeless and more depressed than when I entered. That's what I mean to ask. Is it normal to feel worse before you feel better?
current weight: 154.0
Posts: 12,720 2/11/11 9:01 A
Ay, ay, ay.
Depending on what's discussed during a particular session and the mood of the day, of course it's possible to leave feeling crummy. I hope you didn't begin therapy thinking it's a feel-good experience, though it's far from impossible to have days. It's a work experience, which means the good, the bad, the ugly...sometimes the funny. It's an examination of real life and what one wants to do with it, what one wants change. If it were intended, impossibly, as a way to unload bad feelings and head out to tea parties week after week, it would be more convenient and less costly to say home, write the miseries on slips of paper and flush them.
If you're uncovering unhappy and unsatisfactory things in your sessions, why would you expect to feel great? Feeling great comes naturally to some, others have to put in some effort. We're generally in the latter group, sad to say, but feeling great isn't completely unknown, at least now and then, is it?
Euclid: "There is no royal road to geometry."
I hope your question was rhetorical after all.
LAURIE, NYC No one said it would be easy, but it can be easier.
current weight: 258.0
Posts: 236 2/11/11 8:00 A
So I've been in counseling for a couple months now, and every time I go I leave the room feeling worse than when I went in. I have a lot of trouble sharing my feelings, and it's depressing to talk about them. I'm not getting any solutions that are working for me.. it feels like the solution is always to just get over it or wait until it stops bothering me. I've been trying those things for years and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I don't know how this can help me.. Anyway, could feeling worse after spending an hour talking about your problems make sense? Or should I be feeling more optimistic?
current weight: 154.0
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