try to look at the 80lbs as your ultimate goal, and just take it week by week. maybe your first goal is 10lbs. meet it, reward yourself with a pedicure or something, just no food rewards :) then set another 10lb goal. work toward it, reach it, check it off, and set a new 10lb goal. it makes it seem SO much more doable :)
current weight: 155.0
Fitness Minutes: (2,174) Posts: 7 12/7/11 11:23 P
Hi Des, I'm struggling with this as well. It's an eternal fight, at least it seems to me that way. I've alway wondered, why when I finally am reaching my dream there's a feeling I'm not supposed to reach it. I should be that way forever, nothing can change. Then I sit and think. I've worked so hard, that's why I'm seeing results now. And if I will go like this I will be even closer. I talk to myself and I think steady. So that I won't waste my hard work. It's hard to say no to yourself, but it's worth it. When such thoughts come to my mind I just wait until they're gone. :D Hope you will fight it every time. :D
“The train to success usually runs on the track of determination..."
Hi Jenn, Yes, you hit the freaking nail on the head. My level of doubts have a deeper seed, and it goes into all aspects of my life, thank you so much for bringing this up. I plague myself with questions and doubts and postive self talk is something that I need to meditate on
I also think that your positive self talk is a form of meditation. I am that same way as you, constantly needing to do something -- but I really make a conscious effort to sit down a meditate. I only do it 5 minutes at a time, it feels like a long time and as time goes on I will gradually go for longer sessions. I find it best to meditate in the morning and at night, it really helps (: It sounds like you have os much support from your boyfriend though, and a lot of love in your life! my boyfriend helps me to love myself more, just by being patient and listening. He is really amazing, I have been with him for more that 6 years now its nuts!
As far as feeling like losing this 80 lbs is daunting, you're totally right. I have a tendency to discourage myself, and I do just need to focus on those 1-2 pounds a week. I am also not too attached to my actual weight, rather I am paying attention to the tape measure just as much. Thanks so much for your words (:
WOW! you are so impressive! You are going to be a clinical Psychologist? that's fantastic! I really admire your chosen profession. I would love to keep in touch, I just moved to my new town and have yet to find any girlfriends. It's hard not having a girl to just lean on, and be there for as well.
Thanks so mcuh for responding to me Jenn, your post is so warm and insightful. If you are ever on aim my screenname is, Whyistheradiooff.
I'd love to dish and be in contact, I really need the support and would love to be able to be a helpful ear for you.
Everyday I battle the doubt and the denial, and not just with weight loss: will I finish school? will I reach my personal and professional goals? Will I be happy today? Tomorrow? Next week? Will I ever find another job? Have I made all the WRONG choices? The list goes on and on...
I am 28 yrs old and I am still learning how to love myself. I didn't for a very long time. My boyfriend (heavens bless his patience with me) is teaching me every day to love who I am at any given moment, even when I am upset. I am not so good with meditation (can't sit still for very long, but that's a WHOLE other bag of issues!) so I give myself a healthy dose of positive self talk when ever I feel myself slipping into that hole of doubt and despair. You know the one that starts off with "HA you can't do that!" or "why would you even want to try? you wont do it perfect." These are my triggers. I respond with "YES I CAN!" or "It doesn't matter if I do it perfect, just that I make an effort to try." I also use deep breathing, blogging, journaling, and occasionally screaming and crying (because sometimes all you need is a good cry) to get through the emotions to the other side where I can learn, love, and grow with myself.
Looking at something as a whole, can be very daunting and it is a great idea to think of it in steps of 5lbs. And as the weight comes off, the process will get a little easier - I mean you wont be lugging around those lbs anymore right?
Thank you for your kind words! Especially about my progress, I've been at a cross roads for 3 weeks and keep thinking that I am just going to be stuck here no matter what I do - but today I made a plan, and even if the weight doesn't come off as fast as I would like it, I will be healthier, stronger, and more in control of my emotions.
If you ever need a sounding board, I'm more than willing to try and help (I will eventually have a PhD in clinical psych). Keep your head up and stay positive - if you stick to the plan the weight will come off.
Thanks so much for responding, I really deeply appreciate your words. You inspired me with just one post! congrats to you too on your amazing weight loss so far! your profile picture is beautiful.
You're so right, I think that is the nature of my denial. Even though I know I can do it, i am still skeptical of results. I think this is a combination of like, gaining self confidence and love, as I get older -- yet still having that negative thought pattern already seeded from so many years of self doubt. I meditate and need to practice postive self talk to reflect all the wonderful things in my life and what I've accomplished so far -- thank you so much for the reminder.
I think that a big part of it is thinking of my weightloss in one big clump, like, "OMG, I have 80 WHOLE pounds to lose" is daunting. I need to take it one step at a time and focus on small goals, like the next 5 pounds instead.
So even today, do you still have feelings of denial or anything? is it something that you just continually battle?
Hi Des, welcome to Spark! Congrats on your initial weight loss!
I definitely share the denial. For me, it is caused by that little voice that has always been telling me that I can't do the things I want. It's my little naysayer. And often I want to punch it in the face. To overcome my feelings of inadequacy I use positive self talk to reflect on what I have accomplished and what I can do today to add to the list of accomplishments. So even if I don't hit my weight loss goal - I can still hit my other goals, like running in a 5K this fall.
So, I think that it is normal, to have the denial that it will happen as planned. For many of us, nothing has even gone as planned. Try and take each day for what it is and focus on all the progress that you have made, and not any future miss steps.
My name is Desiree and Ive been on Sparks for exactly 7 days now and I am doing great, lost 2 lbs my first week and only moderated my eating slightly, with a lot of tracking my of my food -- which I've never done before. I was aiming for the target caloric intake and I am so happy to see such unexpected and early results.
I am 27, and working on my AA to be a teacher and persue my personal fine art and this is my first attempt to lose a bunch of weight.
Anyhow, my point is that even in spite of losing 2 lbs already I am still in denial that taking in 1550 calories max, and burning 1500 calories a week will get me to my target weight by march of next year. This denial doesn't necessarily discourage me at all, I feel very committed to my new lifestyle and love sparkpeople. It's so simple and easy with my own personal momentum...but there is a part of me that is in denial for some reason. It's weird, I'm curious if anyone else has ever felt this way.
Feel free to reach me on aim too: whyistheradiooff
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