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PCREADY's Photo PCREADY SparkPoints: (0)
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7/5/09 8:06 A

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I had this book for a while. This weekend I decided to really read it. I have been working with a group over the last year re: some of these same issues. It was cool to see a different perspective on the same stuff I avhe been working through.
I love how he introduces the Physical vs Phantom Hunger. Years prior, I focused on food only. IT just was not working. I did not get it. I always said that "I know how to eat right I just don't." The cool thing is now I know why I just don't. It is that dern phantom hunger that gets in my way.
On p. 15, he says that "You eat when you aren't really hungry because you have two stomachs-one real, one phantom." It is the phantom stomach that needs the work. It has been described to me as a tank a-nutrition and tank b-taking care of your needs through sleep, acknowleding feelings, spriitual fulfillment, exercise, etc
On page 22, he says "My goal is to help you become mindful, concious, observant and awake in order to find the pause between when you begin to eat..."
I am trying ask myself during that pause-"What do I really need?" I always try to remember to treat my body with loving kindness.


Pam :)

"May you live everyday of your life." J. Swift



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BETRME100's Photo BETRME100 SparkPoints: (86,423)
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7/4/09 6:24 P

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Wow...the five feelings of powerlessness...I experience them all at different times, but #2, powerless about how to get real satisfaction in life and #3, powerless to insure your own safety are the big ones for me.

Satisfaction in life...not really sure what I really want out of life

Insure my safety...have known for a long time this is a key for me...from way back when I was just a little girl and couldn't keep myself safe...am now working on assuring myself that I can indeed keep myself safe...don't need the insulation of extra weight to do that for me.

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

Co-leader Bloomington,IN Spark team



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FB_000's Photo FB_000 Posts: 1,271
4/6/09 5:13 A

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"...eating generates immediate rewards, whereas, the rewards you get from dieting won't be realized for weeks, months, or, for some, years. Future benefits versus the immediate compulsion to eat: that's the formula for yo-yo dieting. Positive motivation alone simply can't overcome the desire for the immediate payoff that propels you to eat the things you know you shouldn't." pg 23

When I read this, I knew I was reading a book that would help me. Usually weight loss programs keep talking about motivation, and do not take into account the mindset of a binge eater.

Edited by: FB_000 at: 4/6/2009 (05:15)
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LADYIRIS313's Photo LADYIRIS313 Posts: 926
1/7/09 8:36 P

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I really appreciated the acknowledgment that the hunger you feel that is emotional is ALSO physical. Other weight loss systems seem to infer that this hunger is all in our heads. It isn't - our stomachs growl (and sometimes I get a headache with it). Just having that acknowledged is helping me identify and control my hunger.

I understand the powerlessness feeling as well. Some issues I can just put my head down and power on through. Other issues, generally when I am facing something that has seemed daunting for a long while, or when I feel ill-equipped to fight, I can just toss my hands up in the air, kick my toe in the dirt, and generally give in. It has been said that the difference between a winner and a loser is often just a teeny bit more effort, the willingness to try just 1 more day. As you say, it is the practice to believe that there IS hope, and you ARE strong, and if others don't notice or cooperate you can choose to keep moving forward anyway.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us
are looking at the stars"

Oscar Wilde


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NEWCREATION2010's Photo NEWCREATION2010 Posts: 118
11/12/08 4:48 P

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Powerlessness to assert my independence seems to be my personal weakness, too. When my independence is threatened in "little" ways, I balk like a lunatic. Yet when my independence is threatened in "big" (life changing) ways, I seem to get defeated immediately and feel it's no use saying anything, that I won't be listened to, anyway. Has this happened in my life?
Sure. But I need to believe that if my independence is important enough, if I am important enough, then I will articulate my feelings and make them heard, not as an immature child but as a loving, deserving, grown woman. AND..the food will NEVER make the situation better. It will just top the bad feelings off with a healthy topping of guilt.



Edited by: NEWCREATION2010 at: 1/11/2009 (14:58)
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Cor. 5:17


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NEWCREATION2010's Photo NEWCREATION2010 Posts: 118
11/11/08 8:17 P

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What awesome comments I've already read here!
To have the new knowledge that my bingeing stems from a feeling of powerlessness was a real "aha" moment for me. I am usually pretty in tune with my feelings (in the other facets of my life) yet when it comes to food I guess I was always so numbed up by it that I could never quite explain the "why".
I knew I was rebelling, but it seemed crazy that a 48 year old would still be reacting the same way she did at 13. I totally accept that concept of powerlessless...it speaks to me.



Edited by: NEWCREATION2010 at: 1/11/2009 (14:59)
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Cor. 5:17


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SUCCESS870's Photo SUCCESS870 Posts: 385
11/1/08 1:09 P

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Hi,
I bought the book last night and have read the first 4 chapters. I found myself shaking my head up and down (yes) throughout most of the time I was reading. It is nice to feel like there is a solution to this issue I've had for sooooo long, and I'm not going to stuff that feeling down with food.

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VAVAVIOLINA's Photo VAVAVIOLINA Posts: 47
9/27/08 4:05 P

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Hi Everyone,

I have been devouring this book (excuse the pun)......

For so long I felt there was something really wrong with me; why couldn't I just have enough will power to eat less? Then, a while back I realized it was mostly that I was unhappy.....This book clarifies the unhappiness into very concrete terms....

My favorite point of the first chapter is that true physical hunger can wait, phantom (emotional) hunger demands to be satisfied immediately.

I still have a lot of work to do on my inner critical voice, but this simple statement really gives me a good tool to stop a minute and think before I eat.



So Far......

I've lost 26 pounds

6 inches off my hips

5 1/4 inches off my waist

1 1/2 inch off my neck

4 1/2 inches off my bust


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WEN@TBAY's Photo WEN@TBAY Posts: 752
9/24/08 8:26 P

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Welcome! This book is full of keen insights into emotional eating and self-sabotage behavior! I am SO glad that I read it! Now I need to live it!!
Best of luck on your journey!

: ) Wendie

Life is a gift! Tear into it!!!

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,327
9/24/08 7:58 P

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I'm glad you've started the book. I hope you'll consider going to the strands on each chapter of the book and commenting on some of the insights you think it has. I am working with the online program which overlaps but is different, so I will probably be posting on other threads, but we could use people reflecting on the book. emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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TAKINGBACKLIFE's Photo TAKINGBACKLIFE SparkPoints: (53,939)
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9/24/08 7:45 P

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I started reading the book today. I have the pdf version on my work PC and began it at lunchtime.
At home I have the print version. I am going over it again to highlight some lightbulbs of my own.

I always knew I was an emotional eater, but some of the things I read really hit the nail on the head.


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JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 55,413
7/23/08 6:35 P

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It is wonderful if you KNOW the difference, because that means you are gaining control over it and that is progress. emoticon

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,327
6/25/08 12:18 A

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A funny thing about me is that the onset of emotional hunger and physical hunger are the opposite of the description. I won't feel physical hunger at all until suddenly it seems the bottom drops out of my stomach and I feel starved! What is also funny is that I can often tolerate that feeling quite well until I can get good food because that is what I really want to eat then. The emotional kind feels more like it circles in for a landing and then stays. I'll sometimes have to acknowledge it and divert myself over and over and over. Or I don't make it! But I do know the difference and dealing with it is the same.

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


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WEN@TBAY's Photo WEN@TBAY Posts: 752
6/16/08 2:34 P

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Great insights, Shannon!!! Awesome job at highlighting the chapter, too!! Thanks!!!
I see so much of myself in what you wrote. I know we all struggle with individual issues, but underlying it all is has been a sense of failure and disappointment and almost a lack of competence - -like - -come on - - who can't handle a fork, for pete's sake--what's wrong with me--no one is force feeding me--why can't I stop, etc. etc. It was such
a huge relief to me to begin to understand why I kept doing what I was doing with the binge eating even though a large part of me wanted to stop. But the part of me that wanted "not to feel"
always won.

Here are some of the things that I highlighted in my
book from chapter 1:

"Positive motivation alone simply can't overcome the desire for the immediate payoff that propels you to eat the things you know you shouldn't." (p.23)

"...you see that negative motivation easily overpowers even the most positive motivation in the weight loss arena. The desire to hold onto the comforts of emotional eating can be a powerful force indeed - far more powerful than the desire to shed the belly..." (p24)

: ) Wendie




Life is a gift! Tear into it!!!

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SHANNONSNAIL's Photo SHANNONSNAIL SparkPoints: (0)
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6/16/08 12:04 A

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I finished up Chapter 1 during the weekend and wanted to highlight a few of the things I made note of while reading:

On pg 14 there is a list of 7 statements comparing emotional hunger to physical hunger. Now it is not like I've never heard this before but something about the way Dr. Gould describes it here really set off a lightbulb, to use Wendie's reference. Ever since I first read this list, about a week ago, I have really been more mindful of trying to ensure I am eating when there is physical hunger and not emotional hunger. So far, that in itself seems to be helping me to not turn to food as much as I had been.

I love the quote on pg 19 about a thin person being inside us struggling to get out. That is such a true statement. I sometimes think to myself how much I want to become healthier or I want to lose this extra weight that is causing me health issues and then I eat a piece of chocolate to make myself feel better about it - yeah, that's really helping!

I love that Dr. Gould addresses the issue of diets and the emotional eater. I have struggled for so many years to find any diet or even decrease of calories that I could be successful with and have failed miserably. I have wondered 'What is wrong with me? I have no self control. What is my problem?'. Now I completely understand why it has been such a struggle and I actually do not feel like such a failure anymore but rather see that there is a bit of an obstacle in my way that must be worked on first. I also have had issues with diets in general because I don't know that it is good to do anything for a diet that you could not maintain for life. This book is helping me to see that, at least for me, I think that is true. I need to be able to learn to control my response to emotional hunger. It's possible that once that is solidified, I may not need a "diet" but rather will eat like a "normal person" (this is what I call people who do not have binge tendencies or other patterns of disordered eating).

On pg 20-21 there is a list of 5 types of Powerlessness that may apply to the emotional eater. I think the 4th one has been an issue with me for a while, powerlessness to appropriately assert my independence. Further down he says that we are not powerless but rather needlessly giving away the power we do have over ourselves and our lives. I recently went through a situation where I decided to make a change in a relationship where this statement was the case. It has been amazing to me that just in one week's time, how much making that one decision that showed I valued myself has affected me positively.

Further down on pg 21 Dr. Gould talks about feeding the wrong wolf (the one that fills him without doubt and convinces him that nothing is worth the effort). There are several ways a person could apply this concept to their lives but immediately my thought for me was just to work on making better decisions around my health, as best I can. I can't change everything overnight nor can I feed the right wolf 24hrs/day but each time I do feed the right wolf, the wrong wolf did not get fed. I need to focus more and give credit to what I am doing right and rather than what I am doing wrong. When I focus on what I've done wrong it turns into a cycle of using food to feel better then feeling guilty and using food to sooth that and so forth. That is definitely one way to feed the wrong wolf!!

On pg 23 in the middle of the page there is a statement about how eating provides an immediate reward whereas dieting (I think this could apply to exercise too) takes weeks, months or years to see benefits. Wow, that hit me like a ton of bricks. So many times I have given up on things or lessened my committment when I did not see immediate improvement or change - particularly in the area of exercise. This really challenged me to not think that way. I should instead think of it as each time I choose something that does not provide an immediate benefit it is just adding to the future benefit that will be even bigger and better.

I'd love to hear other thoughts on chapter 1 as folks begin to read.

~Shannon


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WEN@TBAY's Photo WEN@TBAY Posts: 752
6/14/08 12:57 P

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Well, I'm 1/2 way through chapter 11 (and I do plan on re reading the entire book at least once) but I do recall reading chapter one and having a bunch of light bulbs go off inside of me. I always knew I was an emotional eater but chapter one gave me real hope that it was not beyond my control - - that there was a very small gap in between an unpleasant emotional trigger and the binge and that if I could take some time in that moment, I could actually prevent the binge which had always seemed impossible before. When I saw the "layers of powerlessness" listed they really resonated with me. I knew that this book would address my core issues and I started devouring it.

Life is a gift! Tear into it!!!

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SHANNONSNAIL's Photo SHANNONSNAIL SparkPoints: (0)
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6/12/08 9:06 P

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Please use this thread to discuss Chapter 1 of Shrink Yourself

~Shannon


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