I can barely begin to untangle the importance of ALL the messages in this chapter. This could have easily been 2 or more chapters, in my opinion.
This bit hit home with me, "The real danger of stepping out of a family role and reclaiming your self is the danger of being punished, ostracized, and envied. You fear being talked about, labeled, excommunicated from the clan." Wow. I always chafed against family strictures, as I came from a very traditional family. But the thing is, even with my parents dead and my brother hours away, that sense of having to 'break out' still creates a sensitivity in me. It also tickles my rebellion any time I feel that I'm being inhibited. This is one reason watching my diet has been such a challenge for me in the last ... well several decades. I started 'dieting' with my mom as a little kid and it always felt like an enforced punishment. The 'safety' I wanted was acceptance and it really led to years and years of refusing to even consider what I eat.
I understand the hiding from sexual attraction that so many have talked about. I am grateful to have had a pretty healthy and supportive sex life (safe a few bad dates). What created a sense of non-safety for me was my family's business. They owned a tavern and as a child and young teen, I would be called in to bring change, or supplies. The ogling, leering, comments (both flattering and not so flattering re: my weight) from these drunken men, coupled with my mother's obsessive worry about the safety of men (I think SHE was raped as a child, though never exactly admitted it), created a real desire in me to hide from strangers, and to avoid being in public any time I don't feel 'in charge' of my space. This chapter really opened this pain up for me to examine.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us
are looking at the stars"
| Pounds lost: 8.0