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IMDENISE's Photo IMDENISE Posts: 615
2/19/11 12:29 A

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On my way home tonight I started thinking that instead of a healthy dinner, I would eat some Ben & Jerry's icecream. Then I started wondering exactly why I would want to do that, why was I wanting something sweet. Well of course, I am worried! I'm afraid I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of someone I like. I've done a lot of self talk since I got so anxious about it this afternoon. I will continue to self talk my way though this if he calls me or if I get up the nerve to ask him out. I'm so afraid that I'm not good enough that I'm forgetting that I would actually be a great catch for anybody!

I am reading chapter10.... and the work begins.

One of the things it says really nails it for me today. Just because you lose 30 or even 50 lbs does not mean you'll automatically drop those self-doubts you've been struggling with your whole life.

There is a part that lists failure strategy's to avoid. The refreshing thing for me is that most of these are not issues for me. I exercise because it is healthy for me not to allow myself to over eat. I do not purge, I do not work on losing weight for applause, I don't think there is a magical solution to weight loss, I don't believe my weight is because of outside forces. I do believe that I need to deal with my head to finally get this under control.

I'm off to read more, I'll post as I have more thoughts!



 current weight: 155.0 
 
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SIMPLYABUNDANT's Photo SIMPLYABUNDANT Posts: 2,753
1/12/10 11:53 A

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Congratulations on 12 days without a binge! I, too, have begun compiling a list of reasons to do this, and I like your idea about calling it "Reasons to Eat Sanely" instead of "Reasons to Lose Weight." I know exactly what you mean about the peace of mind that comes from being free of the compulsion. There are moments in each day when I realize, "No, I truly am not hungry right now," times when I'm not thinking about what I can eat next, and there is such a powerful feeling that comes along with that!

OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,515
1/12/10 11:36 A

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I had written a long list of reasons to lose weight about 18 months ago. It of course included some that have to do with appearance and being admired, but most of them eventually had to do with the intense desire to be free of the compulsion, as well as to get me closer to my normal BMI range. I still keep the list, but those that have to do with the pride in facing my attachment to food and not continuing the cycle that reinforces the brain patterns associated with it are at the top of the list. It is also called "Reasons to Eat Sanely" instead of reasons to lose weight. I'm on my 12th day of no bingeing and it feels darn good. emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,819 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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SIMPLYABUNDANT's Photo SIMPLYABUNDANT Posts: 2,753
1/12/10 10:51 A

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This is the chapter I'm reading now, and it's been eye-opening to read it alongside "The Spark" when both are discussing goals and motivation.

Dr. Gould clearly states that any goal other than to lose weight, become healthier, and feel more "vigor" (don't you love that word?) is going to backfire on us, and has that ever been true in my life! Furthermore, he says that our motivation can't be about any other person. I can't lose weight for someone else, to make someone else proud of me or love me more. I can't lose weight hoping to find that special someone. I can't do it because I think it will stop someone from nagging me or keep them from being embarrassed by me. I can't do it because I hope it will make me more promoteable at work. It's something that I can do only for myself and then only for the sole purpose of weight loss, better health, and more energy.

Just like there are so many emotional reasons why I eat, I've always had emotional reasons for wanting to lose ~ complex reasons that always involved making me more acceptable to other people, more loved by other people, more respected by other people. This chapter has been stripping away my previous reasons for motivation and leaving me with the bare bones.

I am doing this for myself, for my health. Period. Suddenly all the "head clutter" is gone.

OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,515
4/10/09 12:38 A

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Femmebella, Your observations about a mourning period and confidence are right on. It's hard to imagine not being happier being thinner, but if we look at it, it never lasts. It's just one more way that Gould shows us that it is a really an inside job. No matter what our motivations are, if we don't learn to satisfy our emotional needs without food, they probably won't be strong enough. I know they weren't for me.

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,819 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
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FB_000's Photo FB_000 Posts: 1,271
4/9/09 2:25 P

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"The truth is that your decision to lose weight can't ever involve another human being, because humans often act outside the plans we have for them. Your diet can't be motivated by a desire to satisfy a parent or partner or friend or child who just might find something else to criticize even after you drop those pounds."
"Again, most of us launch into diets with unrealistic expectation that inevitably undermine our efforts to lose weight, because when we don't see the life-changing results we hoped for, we get discouraged and return to bingeing. Dieting leads to weight loss and improved health and vigor - period, the end."

==============

How many people enter dieting for someone else? Or think being thin will magically change their lives? How about to fit into a bikini by the summer, or a wedding dress?

This is so common it's amazing. Even here on spark.

I think there's a mourning period when you realize being thin is not the answer to whatever problem. All those dreams clash into reality. Being thinner is just about being healthier, everything else has to be worked out mentally.

Being thin AND more confident. Not more confident B/C you are thinner.

This is something I'll have to continually remind myself.

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 8,515
4/7/09 3:18 P

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p. 161. I need a plan that dismantles my dependence on food in times of trouble. Turns out, trouble is very common. It doesn't have to be a catastrophe. And, it's hard to believe that anything will be as satisfying in the short run as food. Theoretically, it makes sense. It's ludicrous to think that eating actually helps anything, but at the time, it makes so much sense! Or it just doesn't matter. But this is key. I've known it is key for 25 years. It's frightening to think I'll never get it right, but I basically think I don't have a choice but to go forward with the exploration and the effort. It's hard but it's better than thinking I'm going to follow some specific eating plan that doesn't take this issue into consideration. I KNOW that is doomed.

emoticon

*"The goal of weight loss is incompatible with recovering from disordered eating." Center for Clinical Interventions
*The No S Diet saved my emotional life! Four years and counting. nosdiet.com/ *Be happy with this moment. This moment is your life.
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp


1,819 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
 
0
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1387
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SHANNONSNAIL's Photo SHANNONSNAIL SparkPoints: (0)
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6/12/08 9:01 P

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Please use this thread to discuss Chapter 10 of Shrink Yourself

~Shannon


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