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2/20/11 2:11 P

Ahh, catastrophe predictions! Just having this brought to my attention is so eye opening. It makes me realize that I do just that. Right now, the biggest thing holding me back is thinking about getting into the dating world. This is so scary for me and I'm starting to realize that when I start getting close to my goal weight I eat, eat, eat just so I don't have to face dating. I have never really dated so I have no experience with it. I start making catastrophe predictions! Knowing that is what I'm (Harriet is) doing is such a great help to realize how silly my thoughts are and to make more positive predictions.

I'm loving this book!

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6/25/08 11:00 A

Puppycat,
I am only on chapter 5 but it has already touched on what it calls "catastrophe predictions" (essentially assuming the worst) and I think there is more on that later in the book so I think I can answer that yes, it will address those sorts of issues.

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6/25/08 12:54 A

I had situations in my life when I was younger when I was singled out by a group of girls who made it their job to make fun of me. Anyway the truth is as an adult I would not even care about what people like that think because I would not want to be around such mean people anyway... (they are the ones who are the losers)... but for some reason that will be my first reaction if a friend doesn't call in a while or whatever! I will start wondering if they like me anymore... It's annoying... and I would really like to get past that way of thinking. Does the book or the online program go into how to get beyond things like that? I am thinking about doing the online program.

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6/25/08 12:28 A

Puppycat,
It's so funny you should say that because it brought back a memory for me. When I was in college, my degree program in my last two years was a very small group, they only let 20 into the program each year. I realized at some point in the semester that 4 or 5 of my classmates were getting together for a study group. I ended up talking to one of them about it and commenting that it kind of bothered me that they had not invited me - you see, I thought we were friends - and the comment back was "you know, Shannon, not everyone is going to always like you" - so I have that same voice in my head but it was actually something said to me!!! What mean things folks say and don't even realize the harm they have done...but I will say, when people since then have NOT liked me, I haven't taken it as hard, I've just remembered what that person told me and moved on (though still hurt).

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6/25/08 12:12 A

I'm doing that too... I really need to get over this weird inner voice that says that people don't like me. I really don't know where it comes from. I would like to boot that person out of my head though.

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6/16/08 2:21 P

Needless to say I'm nowhere near Chapter 13 but wow, good information to come! I definitely have these same kinds of thoughts, Wendie. On occasion I am actually right but I'd say 95% of the time I am over-reacting. In college it was really bad, I would constantly think classmates (in classes of 500!) were talking about me or looking at me funny. In reality I am not even sure they noticed me! Don't worry, that led to my first counseling experiences so I did recognize I had a problem (it's good I can laugh at myself, right?!).

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6/16/08 1:34 P

Well, As the name implies, this chapter deals with challenging our self-doubts. I have a lot of work to do in this area. I am becoming more aware of "Harriet" (the inner critical voice leftover from childhood development) every day. She is relentless! (BTW:I cannot tell you all how helpful it has been to me to finally learn that this is not "me" talking to myself inside my head! It is not a split personality or the devil! I am not crazy, and do not require a lobotomy or an exorcism!)

It has been really help for me to sort out reality once I recognize and challenge her "input". For example, just this morning I was feeling kind of down. A friend that I ran into when I was dropping off Sarah at volleyball camp this morning seemed kind of distant, not really happy to see me, etc. I started thinking about it while I was making my juice and suddenly I heard from Harriet! All kinds of lousy things like, "apparently she doesn't really like you...she is just being polite b/c your daughters are friendly...she's probably trying to avoid you...you're really annoying....most people probably feel that way too..." and on and on in this downward trend. I had to stop myself and say wait a minute. "Sherry is going through a rough time right now... she just lost her dad a month ago...she was probably bringing her friend up to speed about it when I walked over...and yesterday was her 1st Father's Day without him..." I realized I was overreacting to my perception of her reception of me and was not taking into consideration anything that she might be feeling or going through...I immediately resolved to give her a call and offer to take her out for coffee one day this week.

Before SY I would have probably let all those self-doubts balloon into a giant swirl of negative emotions until I could not longer bear it and reached for the food. And I would probably not have even known why or where it all originated from.

But every time I successfully nip one of these in the bud, I feel a real sense of accomplishment and am "feeding the right wolf" so to speak. It feels so good to take the reigns of my emotions and stop the cycle of binge - self hatred - beat myself up - binge. It is this real hope of lasting change that has got me so amped up.

I am so grateful for this book and for being able to share it with all of you.





Wendie

Edited by: WEN@TBAY at: 6/16/2008 (17:48)

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6/12/08 8:59 P

Please use this thread to discuss Chapter 13 of Shrink Yourself

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