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I'd suggest every day she is late, you tell her the next day she will have to get up half an hour earlier and go to bed half an hour earlier. I know you have tried many charts, rewards, and punishments, but this seems to be a natural consequence...you would not be punishing her, but you would let her know when she is late she can't repeat that pattern, so as a mom you will need to make sure she stops playing with her friends and gets to bed earlier so she can wake up earlier and be on time.
My nine year old does not wake up well to the alarm. My eleven year old is fine with it, my my nine year old is too groggy in the am. I go wake her up, and sometimes I have to physically pick her up and put her feet on the floor till she is awake enough to stand on her own before I move on and do something else.
Is there anything she is having problems dealing with lately? Has she been upset about anything or gone through any traumatizing experience? You mentioned you were a single mom, was there a recent divorce she's having problems dealing with? Maybe she needs to see a counselor.
Is she having behavioral issues in other aspects of her daily life?
My 11 yr old son went through a period where no matter what I did or said he did what he wanted on his own time and in his own way. Then he started having problems in school and getting into little bickering fights with friends. He withdrew more and more until I sat him down and asked him what his deal was. Come to find out he was having issues with his biological father not being around for most of his life (bio dad's decision against my good intentions). So we talked about it and worked through it.
Depending on the age it might just be a hormonal thing, or just normal child defiance issues. Pushing her boundaries maybe?
The question should be, is it worth trying to do, not can it be done.
- Allard Lowenstein
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How old is your daughter? If that's not too personal?
Eastern time zone
I'm a single mom, and for the last two years I have fought with my daugher about getting up in the morning and getting ready for school, and getting showered at night and ready for bed. I feel like I have to constantly get onto her and remind her of what she needs to be doing. FOR. TWO. YEARS.
What kind of issues? Well, she doesn't get up when her alarm goes off--she'll hit snooze two or three times. When she does get up, she spends 10-15 minutes sitting on the potty. After that, she's in her room for another 10-15 minutes getting dressed--even though she picked her clothes out the night before. Last year she missed the bus several times because she wasn't ready in time. This year, five days into the school year, I've been late to work for the same reason.
Bedtime is about the same. I'll ask her to get in the shower and for some reason, it takes her up to 30 minutes to get undressed and go potty before the shower ever gets turned on. Then it's a struggle to get teeth brushed and clothes picked out for the next day without having to be reminded over and over and over and over again.
She's not dingy, but it's like she spaces out and is in her own little world where time doesn't matter.
I feel like I've tried just about everything to help motivate and help her focus on what she needs to do. Chore charts. Lists. Different routines. Rewards. Bribes. Punishments. Groundings. Timers. Stopwatches. Etc. I'VE. TRIED. IT. ALL.
Any advice? Am I the only one dealing with this? I'm beyond frustrated and done with it all.
Baby steps will get you where you need to go. . .eventually...you just have to start out by taking the first step.