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SHUTTERBUGMOMTN Posts: 39
1/20/13 7:42 P

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I'm glad it is not just me that feels stressed by too much stuff to do! I like the boys to have scouts plus one sport (assuming they really like it.) I don't mind if we are super busy for a short time if it is just a short time (for example, my oldest has baseball from 5-7 and scouts from 7-8:30 on one day, but it is only for about 6 weeks. I couldn't take it if it was for too long and he would miss Scouts too much...he'd have to choose. I just feel bad making them quit the second sport (martial arts.) It is by far the most expensive, and I will we had never started it. We are going to take a break during baseball season and I am seriously thinking about not going back. Thanks for all the input!

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RUNNING-TURTLE's Photo RUNNING-TURTLE Posts: 1,748
12/26/12 9:08 A

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Too much to do is always a problem. Thankfully only one of my 4 kids even wants to do any sports or classes. Well technically two. My oldest is 14 and she wants to do all this expensive stuff, but then when it comes to doing it she refuses to do anything she is asked, she don't like following orders or nothing, so she will have to learn soon to live on her own in a short 4-5 year span. Any ways, my son just turned 8, he's been playing baseball from May- July every summer since he turned 5 and loves it. Not to taxing on time just a couple times a week late or early dinners. When he turned 7 he wanted to do soccer and so did his 5 year old sister, she gave up after one season, because she just wanted to go play with her older sister. Which was fine, didn't sign her up again. But my son still wants to play once he turns 9 he'll be in a travel league which his soccer schedule already clashes with his dad's work schedule. (one vehicle ) Anyways, for now it runs from Sept-oct and again from April-May/June...so temporarily for about a month we're running around most of the week. Which is very taxing on us, especially with them having a toddler sibling as well. It's well worth it in the end. His 3 sisters cheer him on, but say it's not for them, they want free play. So hey it works, but too many people over book their schedules. Yes you want all your kids to be able to do things, but keep in mind cost, time and will they enjoy it. If you need to cut something out, either pick the most expensive, or their least favorites. Honestly I would keep it to one sport per season/ or one class per season per child. If they like same things, try and get them in same class or team. It will save on your sanity. Wishing you luck. Being a parent is tough and rewarding.

Jen, Michigan (Eastern Time Zone)

"Set your goals high and don't stop until you get there" ---Bo Jackson


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RUMBAMEL's Photo RUMBAMEL Posts: 1,959
12/23/12 12:12 P

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I have this feeling sometimes, too. My 8 yr old is only in Brownies and my 7 year old is in nothing. He did baseball over the summer, but that was it. I see so many that have their kids in so much like yours and eat drive through dinners and never have family time. They don't get playdates and sometimes talk about poor grades or missing out on things. I'm sure it will be nice down the road to say they know how to play an instrument or be great at some sport and get a scholarship for it, but my son is good at wrestling and can't take it in school. I don't want to miss family dinner time and go to bed late to enroll him in some expensive joint across town. My daughter was good at gymnastics, but didn't like the late night class. I don't want to force her to do it again. I am like you where it was going to be costly to buy a bunch of stuff for a dance class and then they would out grow it next year. I just want them to be kids. Maybe a class here or there to get them to experience things. But not wear them out.

They need family, school and friends, that's what being a kid is about. When they get older and get a bit more tired of family time (hopefully much later) then sports would be great and we can support them, when they choose.

It's hard to make these decisions, but we are the parents and need to be around them. See how it goes and hopefully the family time will fill that void from Karate.

good luck,

rumbamel

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SHUTTERBUGMOMTN Posts: 39
12/17/12 6:25 P

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I have two boys, 6 and 11 (1st and 6th grade). I am having an issue with extra-curricular activities. My oldest always did cub scouts and one sport (which changed throughout the year) and that worked well. About 18 months ago, we signed both boys up for a martial arts class hoping that it would give my oldest more self confidence. So we are up to now, and my youngest is now also in scouts and plays seasonal sports. Along with martial arts, we literally have something to do *every single day* after school and usually on Saturday. My husband and I have decided to take the boys out of martial arts because of the fact we have *no* family time and it is also very expensive. I feel very, very guilty doing this. The boys have agreed to it reluctantly and seem a bit sad, and of course they can go back to it at a future date if it is truly their passion (although the cost will go up even more since we would have a new contract.)

Should I feel guilty? I know this is the best decision for our family as far as time and finances go, but add this to all the Christmas stress and I am literally sick to my stomach. I guess I am afraid we are "ruining" them and hurting their feels. I should confess that also I do not love the martial arts classes. Not only is there a monthly fee, but there is testing every other month (more fee), competitions several times a year (more fee), and of course we've had to buy all kinds of equipment that they would probably have outgrown if they go back in a year or two. I am not sure that it has helped my oldest with his self confidence either. That is another topic, but he really needs more self confidence in his life.

They are both fairly good at it, also, which makes me feel guilty. I guess I feel like they should enjoy baseball, basketball and soccer right now because once you get to middle school and high school you don't get to play unless you are one of the top players, and to be honest, I don't think they will be, except possibly in baseball.

Thanks for any words of wisdom. I am so stressed about this it is unreal. Also, I know the owners of the martial arts school will pressure us to stay as they need to keep as many students as possible (this is their only source of income.)

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