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NORAELIICE's Photo NORAELIICE SparkPoints: (4,916)
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10/9/13 7:51 P

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My daughter also has difficulty with emotions. She is very empathetic and extremely sensitive to what other kids say. I just purchased Emotional Intensity by Susan Daniels on Amazon and I am enjoying the book so far.

What really helped her in Colorado was ATA Taekwondo. The respect, discipline, and movements were calming for her and helped her immensely. Unfortunately, a good ATA school does not exist where we live in Florida now. The mixed martial arts she is in currently does not have the smooth flowing forms - they do not learn forms at all for that matter. It is not helping her and she doesn't like it.

A couple things to try.

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MYKIDSRSWEET's Photo MYKIDSRSWEET SparkPoints: (12,017)
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6/2/13 10:55 A

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I have two kids in the gifted program, and one who is not. My kids are all so different, I have come to feel all kids are gifted or great at something. Some just are gifted in a way that is labelled by a school. I also feel like all kids have their crosses to bear. For example, my fifth grader is gifted according to the school and terrific in math but can't remember to flush the toilet or push in his drawers after he pulls them out. My third grader has been labelled gifted too...she is very responsible, but as you describe, she is highly emotional. My third child is not gifted according to the schools, but she is easy going emotionally and great at imagination and going with the flow. I am learning to realize I can't expect every aspect of my kids to be perfect and try to be patient with their different personality traits.




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KARINA2812's Photo KARINA2812 SparkPoints: (198)
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8/29/12 3:32 P

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My middle child is in the gifted program and I think we all go through a rough time when they first transition in to these new programs. She hated being board in class but also did not want to leave her friends. How is your program set up? Whole new class or just one day a week? Our is one day a week so it works good for her. One thing I dont like though is she is with kids 2 yrs older during this time which has exposed her to things I think are inappropriate. I also can relate to the mind not slowing down. I think my daughter is always thinking or doing something. Are you kids hyper too? I dont know if its just mine but she is way more active than her sister. Always going or talking.

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NLPOLAK's Photo NLPOLAK SparkPoints: (11,567)
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8/13/12 6:04 P

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Well, I think the only reason why it's easier NOW is because it's elementary school...once she goes on to 6th grade, it'll probably be touch and go when she has 7 teachers a day! For now I'm counting our blessings...

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DANIDANI11's Photo DANIDANI11 Posts: 37
8/13/12 9:36 A

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i am really glad that worked out for you. I have a really hard time getting some of my daughter's teachers to understand. Some get, others don't. So it's good she is resonable. & I'm glad she worked with you on that homework issue. Too much of anything can be a bad thing. & it helps the kiddo (&you!) with some stress!
Good luck to both of you with the school year. Mine start on September 4th, & as always, it'll be an adventure!

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8/13/12 6:04 A

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Believe me, I am not afraid to TALK to the school/teacher/district if ever I am unhappy. I'm pretty sure our school system knows who I am by now!! LOL :-) Plus, both my husband and I graduated in the same system for middle and high school, so we are familiar with some of the same things the district enforces today. Last year, I was on the parent panel for all the schools to adopt the IB programme, and one of my questions had been on how it would change the gifted and talented program. No one could tell me, and I suspected that this year would be different for everyone, with some room to grow. The fact that the teacher my daughter WOULD have had for the class she's in retired made it even more interesting, since this teacher she has now is new to the district (and state).

I emailed Mrs. F. friday evening. Thankfully, she happened to be at the school yesterday and called me! We had a nice chat about everything, and I even got homework cleared up. Now that she understands my daughter's sensitivity issues, and where we are coming from in terms of expectations, she was able to assure me that we will go at a pace to match. And the even better news is that the reading homework is 20 minutes of reading every day, but we only have to choose from 1 response option per day, up to 4 days a week! That is soooo much better than how we were interpreting it initially! The instructions didn't come out and say it, and I was of the mind to do more just in case so that she wouldn't be penalized. What a relief!!!!!!!!!

I think this year is going to go okay after all. The teacher isn't going to pile up the work, BUT she did say that they kiddos are all going to be challenged since they were proven to be able to hold up to more than surface work. So let's see...

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DANIDANI11's Photo DANIDANI11 Posts: 37
8/13/12 12:44 A

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I feel at that teacher's are so tied by legislation & burnt out by low pay & abusive children that they almost don't care anymore or are too tired to.
Homework to me seems like a way to pawn off work onto the parents. I don't want to bash teachers. They are great for what they do. My 1st grader (2nd this year) gets more homework than his sister ever did. She got more than I did. And a lot of these assignments are "Do with parent". I thought homework was like a daily review.
Dakota definitely got overloaded with the challenging work from her higher level classes & the amount from regular class. The first year was hell. We did have to give up extra & co curricular. & that sucked because she lost her sense of her real age & life balance. I've talked to teachers. I generally get the response that talks about "No child left behind" or "administration". I was even told once if she struggled with the balance, drop honors. That was 5th grade. & it pissed me off.
You always have to try. I'd say exactly what you said here. It's important for her teacher to get where your daughter is at & how you feel about the situation. Then, if it fails, climb that ladder! Yes, I'm one of those moms! Principal, district office. Climb, climb, climb!

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8/11/12 8:38 A

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Thanks!

Well, she got through this first week of school okay...but she has been very frustrated with the one thing that she is assigned to do daily as homework - reading for at least 20 minutes and then picking at least 4 things to write about on what she just read. The first day was sheer torture for both of us; the next day she was able to suggest a few things to write about; and day #3 was a mixture of both the other days put together. Either way, she takes a while to do the writing, because she just wants to read and be done with it.

She's used to reading for homework or classwork, and then answering questions about the passages. She's very social, but has never been fully introduced to writing in complete thoughts without just shoving the word "and" or a comma in the middle to make an incredibly long sentence! So although she has been agreeing to do the reading portion, she has been fretting over writing. I don't get how these kids are not learning fully how to write before they are thrown into writing multiple sentences and paragraphs! I remember I learned one step at a time, so why aren't they?? I noticed this last year itself, but figured it would be addressed more in-depth this year. I work in administrative support at a Sylvan Learning Center, and we see lots of kids who need writing help, starting in 4th grade. Now I know why!

Also, at the beginning of the summer, when us parents first met with the school as a group to hear about the program, we were told the kids wouldn't have homework every day, that most of what they do would be done in class. Any homework assigned would usually be something that would take a week, where the students would report to the teacher on a daily basis to say where they were with getting the homework completed. Granted, the teacher who told us this was saying this in general, and went on to retire - but she helped hire the replacement who seems very promising. Yet I got a letter from her yesterday that stated the kids would have reading every night (including the weekends), spelling every night (although they did all of that in class this week) and math on most nights. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this - as I was excited about the possibility of her not having as much homework, but being able to go in-depth MORE in what she DID have that marked the difference between homework from regular to gifted classes. I had my reservations about her sensitivity causing her to burn out from being overloaded so much, but under that original plan, she could thrive. Now I have to ask "Now What??"

I am itching to talk to the teacher next week to discuss things. What do you think I should do about this whole situation?? What do you think would be best for my kiddo??? I'm a little stressed!

Edited by: NLPOLAK at: 8/11/2012 (08:45)
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DANIDANI11's Photo DANIDANI11 Posts: 37
8/11/12 7:21 A

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I understand first hand where you are coming from. We've always known my daughter was bright. In the 3rd grade, the school district we were in at the time wanted to implement a program for gifted & talented. She was recommended. These children were to be registered to take the watered down version of the ACT. She scored a 21. After that, she fought so hard to not be what she was. I told her this would benefit her life. It wasn't until 2 years later that she even wanted to be a part of that "community". This year, she turned 13. She's come to terms with the frustration that comes with having a more advanced mind set than your peers.I think it gets easier as you get older because you have more outlets. Tantrums happened with us because she was so mature & smart, but still a young child. My greatest fear for my daughter is she will turn against her own gift(I did!) & get in with the wrong crowd & purposely not do the her best. The smart ones can be trouble!
Good luck to you & your baby! I hope we come around for you, Mom!

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SLPORTER1978's Photo SLPORTER1978 Posts: 471
8/7/12 1:01 P

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Don't worry, as your daughter gets older, she will find something that she is truly passionate about and will thrive. I know that with my son, I started at a very young age purposely making mistakes when I was doing something and then laughing at myself. I am a firm believer that you need to be able to laugh at yourself! Now when he makes a mistake, we laugh and brush it off. Sometimes it is not easy, but life is about fun and I want my boys to have as much fun as they can as kids. Keep doing what you are doing and your daughter will be just fine!

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”


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8/7/12 12:53 P

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Thanks!

Because of my daughter being of that perfectionist mind, she doesn't do well with music! She loves music but wants to be good at it right away!!! I taught her some guitar chords, and she had to do it on her own time, without an audience whatsoever, for her to finally get somewhere with it! She also like singing, so we usually let her listen to as much music as she wants as an outlet too.

She IS very artistic, so we've tried to have her do as much with that as she can. When she goes to 4th grade, there is a program in our school system called Artistically Talented that she can try out for, which may also be something she'll enjoy.

Having problems shutting her mind down...wow, that describes her and I too! It sure does keep me away at night every once in a while! So I too understand what you mean. Considering she is an active child by nature, it makes sense for her to do something with sports too, only they are all soooo expensive and I'm not yet sure what we can do with that. Swimming would be good for her, but she has yet to bolster up the courage to actually learn. Otherwise, she has some athletic abilities for soccer, basketball, and yoga...so right now we just go on walks when she's in the mood to go with me!



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SLPORTER1978's Photo SLPORTER1978 Posts: 471
8/7/12 12:45 P

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I responded to your other post too! My 7 year old son is in the Challenge program (Washington State's equivalent to the gifted and talented program) through his school (he actually scored 98% above all other first graders nationally, bragging I know, proud Momma). My son did not go through the temper tantrum stage, but he is a perfectionist and when he can't get something right it is hard for him. I just let him know over and over that not everything has to be perfect and that when something goes wrong, it is a learning experience (which he actually quoted to his teacher). I noticed that having my son in a music program has really helped him, not only academically but emotionally too. He learned to read music last year and is learning to play the piano this year. He loves all types of music and the music really helps calm his mind when he can't figure something out. I also keep him in all types of sports (he happens to be very fast and athletic too). He says that running and playing sports helps him to clear his mind. My son's biggest obstacle is that he has a really hard time shutting his mind down (as do I so I completely understand) and because of this he has a tough time sleeping or relaxing. Keeping him physically active helps. I hope you are able to find something that works for your daughter.

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”


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8/7/12 7:14 A

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I was hoping I could connect with some parents who could give me insight with dealing with the mood swings associated with a kid coming to terms with her high-end abilities? She's actually at the lower end of the gifted range, but is highly sensitive and accordingly has been able to recall facts and events really, really well at an early age. In fact, I suspect it is because of that skill that caused her scores to be high enough for our local school system to want her to be in their gifted program. I want to give her all the opportunities she needs to help further her skills, but find that that is tough because she gets burned out soo easily from the sensitivity issues. I'm really curious to see other parents thoughts on this!

On a side note, I never even dreamed she would be in that category, so I haven't even been pushing her to be a high-achiever or anything like that. I had had some behavioral problems with her prior to the school testing her, including temper tantrums over not getting something right the first time (her perfectionist attitude), and was very surprised when I was given the news of her scores. Only then did it all make sense. I am looking for her to continue to have a balanced life, but I definitely don't want her to slack off and burn out. She started school yesterday - and had to go to a new one because there are only 3 in our district that offer the program - and she was fortunate to have 2 of her friends join her in the class. I'm hoping this is the start of a good year! She's in 3rd grade with a brand new teacher to the district.

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