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I'm tempted by the counter tantrum. My daughter has recently started the screaming tantrums and boy does she have a set of lungs! (just think of how worried I was about those little lungs when she was born 3 months too soon)
The calm down chair is kind of working. She doesn't always sit on it but she won't leave it once I put her there until I say its ok.
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Throw a counter tantrum. She's likely to be shocked by it, and it will shut her up. I was skeptical about this advice when I first heard it, and though it was counterproductive, but I tried it one day and it actually works. Sure you might cause a bigger scene, briefly, but then you can just laugh it off.
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I teach Kdg, and I see this sometimes. Usually they want attention which is probably why someone told you to ignore it. Then when they stop you give them the attention and talk to them.
I know it is difficult in public and with neighbors (I have 2 small loud kids too) but it is probably the only thing that will work. Let people look at you and your screaming kids. Most people have had small children and they have all had meltdowns in public.
Also when she does not throw a fit and deals with it well give her TONS of praise about it, and talk to her a lot about how she should handle certain situations if they arise.
It is a normal thing, unless there are other issues, I would not say she is a spoiled brat or needs to see a therapist.
Michigan, Eastern Standard Time
this could me writing this. my "middle child" turned 5 in February and just finished pre-k.
At home, she is outgoing, talkative, friendly and plays with the other kids. At school she was the shyiest kid there. I was taken aback when the teacher told me this. She was an angel in school. Never raised her voice, threw a fit, listened to her teachers, did well. She excelled actually. Above average in many things. Now that summer is here, it seems every night she is the one that gets out of control. She doesn't listen to anything I say. When she doesn't like the answer she drops to the floor and screams, cries, kicks, stomps. If I put her in her room, she won't calm down, she screams louder. She will kick the doors, walls, etc. If i interact with it it gets me to the point I get so angry and have to walk away. if i give in, then she knows that she can do whatever she wants. there is no ignoring it not really. she will go on for over an hour. Sometimes dad has to step in because i've come to my wits end.
i have even threatened to take her to the doctor for a hearing test. I told her that it must be her ears becuase she doesnt seem to listen to anything I say. She actually called my bluff. She said okay, take me. I don't know what the answer is. last night, i was so fed up, that when she tried to start with me at the end of the night "bed time." i just simply yelled that I was not going to take this crap anymore, that she was going to go brush her teeth, and go to bed period. NO other choice. She shut up and did it. I don't want to be a screamer all the time, but it got through to her that time. I don't know what was different. I think my voice even though I yelled, was deeper and she knew I meant it.
i don't know what to do either.
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My daughter is 5, she just finished Pre-K and is a very happy healthy smart girl. She makes me so proud of her!
However, there is something that's been happening recently, probably more frequently since she turned 5 in January, that has everyone concerned. My mother, my sister, her teachers and some friends have all voiced concerns and opinions on what to do for her. At the slightest occurance of something she doesn't like or want, she screams hysterically and cries very loudly and it is very very hard to get her to control her emotions. It can be brought on my anything like dinner being something different than she wants, video game/tv time is over, her sister is using a crayon she wants, we're reading a different book than the one she wants, I forgot to mend or fix a toy, etc etc etc. Sometimes, rarely I can talk to her and reason with her to get control over it quickly or before it becomes too hysterical. However, most times, she just screams and cries and is miserable. And this in turn makes me miserable, so I'm stressed and I just cave into stress eating and not exercising.
The advice I've been given is to just ignore it so that she doesn't get the attention she's trying to get or getting her into counseling so that she can talk out her issues. It's very hard to just ignore it because we live in a small apartment with very close neighbors. And in public we try to stop it right away so we don't draw negative attention. I just don't know how to teach her to deal with her emotions more appropriately.
So, my question is, is my baby just being a spoiled brat (a definite possiblilty), suffering from "middle child syndrome", or maybe something more serious like an emotional issue that needs to be addressed? please help!
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