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SBUSHE SparkPoints: (2,056)
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7/28/12 5:39 P

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@I_AM_ENOUGH: One strategy you could try that may give you good results (it is quite effective I learned, but you need to do it consistently for the next 4 weeks) is "descriptive praise".

In school or at home, parents and teachers use a lot of Evaluative Praise, such as “Well done”, “Good boy!”, “You’re so clever.”, “That’s fantastic!”.

Adults assume that this kind of praise will help children feel confident and motivated or to encourage them to focus. The problem is this over-the-top type praise is that children might not believe us, seeing that the rest of the world does not seem to think they are that great or wonderful. Children, even the very young ones, will eventually feel and notice the non-genuine praise that we give to them.

Descriptive Praise leaves out the evaluative praise and simply notice, mention and emphasize every tiny step in the right direction; small improvements in behaviour, working attitude, work habits, social skills and any absence of negative behaviour.

Here are some examples of Descriptive Praise which can motivate a reluctant, resistant or rebellious child.

Following Instructions: “You did exactly what I told you to do.” “You put  the puzzle away as soon as I asked. No time-wasting!” “Thanks for not arguing.”
Following routine and rules: “You’re following our routine, and you didn’t need anyone to remind you.” “You told yourself the right thing to do and then you did it.” “You stopped pushing. Thanks!” “You’re remembering what we always do after lunch.”
Staying on-task: “Instead of giving up when it felt difficult, you tried a different way. Very sensible.” “I see you’ve been sitting for ten minutes, without once getting up.” “You’ve stopped banging on the table. It’s much more peaceful now.”
Politeness and consideration: “You’re using your indoor voice.” “Thanks for looking right at me while I’m talking to you.” “You’re waiting patiently.” “I appreciate that you didn’t interrupt.” “You might be feeling annoyed, but all I hear are polite words.” “You’re not complaining.”

To put this new tool in use, start making a month-long project of Descriptively Praising your son. Start with 10 praises per day, you might feel a bit stupid doing this, but it really does work. And you need to take a time out to observe your son and comment on what he is doing right. Starting Descriptive Praise with "I see you..." or "I watched you..." and that helps too.

Plus, you aren't a bad mother... A bad mother wouldn't seek help and want to find a solution.

Good luck, and I would like to know what reaction you get from your son.

Edited by: SBUSHE at: 7/28/2012 (17:41)
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I_AM_ENOUGH's Photo I_AM_ENOUGH Posts: 170
7/28/12 12:08 A

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Boy, do I need to VENT!

My son will be starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks (he's 5 almost 6), and he makes mothering such a hard job! I cry almost daily because he gets in trouble almost all day, every day at daycare. He doesn't listen, he tells them No, he hits his friends, runs around the room, screams, and the list goes on.

There are many days that I want to give up, and feel that I am doing a horrible job as a mother. I have envisioned my son ending up in jail, because he is making bad decisions now.

We've punished him many ways for his behavior at daycare - time-outs, taking privileges away, rewards, etc. and he just doesn't seem to care. He doesn't seem bothered by his behavior. But, he knows the rules. He can tell what he is and is NOT supposed to do.

He is one of the worst behaved in the class.

I don't know what to do anymore. I am a failure, and I struggle loving him some days. He makes me so mad, and embarrasses me. It's hard to see other children behave so well.

Life is a daily struggle :(

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TDEVONA70's Photo TDEVONA70 SparkPoints: (3,233)
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3/26/12 1:36 P

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jessicagod- I just have one question. Are you by chance a stay at home mom or do you spend most of your time with you daughter? If that is the case then it could be that she is so used to your attention that when others are taking it then she has to try to steal it back. If this sounds like your situation you may try doing things when your alone with her that make her do things by herself for long periods of time. I'm not talking like hours but to a 3 year old a half hour is a long time. So take a half hour where she has to do something on her own and don't help her. For example if she wants to play with blocks but then asks you to help, don't help. I don't know if this is your situation... but I hope it helps.

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JESSICAGOD's Photo JESSICAGOD SparkPoints: (1,964)
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6/4/11 2:04 A

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My 3 year old daughter is overall aloving sweet girl. There are times when she cops an attitude to me in front of family by constantly interrupting, act demanding and not like me talk to other people. Her favorite saying is "I said no." She is repeating everything that a parent would say to a child when the parent won't let the child get their way. Any suggestions on any approaches to a child to get their attention on listening to instructions and not have a demanding attitude on little things like refusing to wash hands or take a nap in front of family and close friends?

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LENKA763's Photo LENKA763 Posts: 2,395
6/2/11 10:27 P

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I'm a bad mom.
today my son wanted to play with our neighbors son and told me that he asked his dad if he can come over.
Since his story wasn't consisted I assumed that he was making things up...and told him he can go there..

he continued to demand and I send him to his room for timeout.

since he was so upset I went to our neighbor to ask...and I found out that he was telling the truth...

what do you do?

I apologize to him and told him that he needs to tell me the truth all time ,or otherwise I'm confused when he is telling the truth or lying!

In dreams and in life, nothing is impossible.


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RAETHREET's Photo RAETHREET SparkPoints: (0)
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6/1/11 10:56 A

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I agree with SUPERMAMALLAMA. My, at the time she was three, year old had me wrapped around her finger when it came to the store. She would throw the kicking and screaming tantrums till I gave in. Well I read this wonderful book, Five days to a new kid (something like that) What I did was one day we where at the store and she wanted something, I told her no, there she went down on the floor kicking and screaming, I pulled my cart of to the side leaned up against the of those coolers and just waited. YES it was very embarrassing,(one lady even stopped to tell me that I was doing a good job and to hang in there) but when she was done that was it that was the last time she ever did that. The book is great. Her doctor recommended it to me.

Edited by: RAETHREET at: 6/1/2011 (10:57)
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FATBUSTINMOM's Photo FATBUSTINMOM SparkPoints: (3,689)
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5/24/11 11:10 A

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It's funny, when I came back here to check for any replies and re-read my vent, I didn't realize how bad I sounded. It sounded like I had zero patience with my daughter. emoticon
I do try so hard to be patient with her, but I guess I forget sometimes that she is only 4 yrs old. I took a different approach yesterday and was much more patient with her, and it went much smoother. They really can sense our emotional state, can't they?



"If you can't run then walk. And if you can't walk, then crawl. Do whatever you have to do. Just keep moving forward and never, ever give up."
Father of Dean Karnazes, The Ultramarathon Man, about finishing Western States (at mile 99 of 100)


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FATBUSTINMOM's Photo FATBUSTINMOM SparkPoints: (3,689)
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5/23/11 9:19 A

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Hi everyone, new to this team :-)

JLPARKHURST - I feel your pain! My 4-yr old daughter is infamous for not listening. She listens to others much easier than me or my husband. We use firm discipline with her and still have trouble with her not wanting to listen. If anyone has insights on how to get them to listen easier, I'm all ears (and I'll listen!)

Now for my vent of the day (you'll probably see quite a few from me, lol): Why is it that when I buy my daughter something, she proceeds to destroy it in 2 days or less? I let her get a manicure and pedicure for the first time the other day, and what does she do? Starts picking the nail polish off within ten minutes of being home. I told her if she did it again, she wouldn't be getting any more nail polish until she was old enough to do it herself. That seemed to stop her, at least for now. I bought her these really pretty ponytail holders recently because she "really wanted them" and called the little balls on them "little balloons." I put in in her hair while at the mall, then not twenty minutes hour later she wanted it out. Put it in her hair yesterday before going out, she takes it off in the van and throws it who knows where. Put it in her hair again before she went swimming yesterday, she takes it off and throws it who knows where. 2 ponytail holders already lost from that package. I also bought her a Color Wonder set recently because she seemed to enjoy it so much while at her grandma's. She takes care of that set perfectly while at her grandma's. The one I bought her? She's already lost all but one of the markers and has torn one of the pages out of the coloring book. *Hand to forehead* The list goes on, but I'll stop there.

Honestly, am I expecting too much from her? Should I stop buying her anything at all until she learns to take care of her things?

Thanks in advance for any kind of response, even if it's just "I understand." :-)

"If you can't run then walk. And if you can't walk, then crawl. Do whatever you have to do. Just keep moving forward and never, ever give up."
Father of Dean Karnazes, The Ultramarathon Man, about finishing Western States (at mile 99 of 100)


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5/18/11 5:10 P

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What do you do when your children don't listen to you? They listen to everyone else but you! You have your normal days when they act like children but then you have those days where they are just down right out of control. No matter what you do it is utter chaios! We have our normal days but the last couple days have been horrible. It has been like WW3 in my house. My youngest (J is going to be 2 in July) is watching sissy and learning to talk back. His terrible 2s were was WORSE than my daughters. He throws the biggest tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. I have tried timeouts, rewards charts...I just don't know what to do. I know they need to burn off energy and with winter over and the rain never ceasing, I can't ever get them outside. It is hard to be able to take them places with all the other activities we have going on...

What to do, what to do...Any suggestions?

~Jennifer Southeastern Michigan, EST
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4/28/11 10:57 A

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There are times I hate computers! (definite vent here) My husband's broke this morning so of course he had to work at that rather than join us for a walk. Okay then, a bummer, but I can keep moving on even dragging the dog and two kids with. But even worse, he had to take over mine! I am a full time student (we both are) so until "his" PC is fixed, it means I can't do my school work either... I really hope BestBuy has the part he needs!

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4/27/11 1:11 P

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Fit Mommy,
The very best thing you can do is NOT give in to her tantrum. No matter how other people look at you like you are crazy. You are a good Momma and you are doing the best thing you can for your sweet girl. By not giving in, you are teaching her how to behave and what is the right choice and the wrong choice. By giving in because you were embarrassed would teach her that the louder she yells in public the more she gets. Being a parent is the HARDEST thing in the world! Who knew! My sister gave me the best advice ... there are two kinds of people in the world, those who understand and will lend you a diaper in the parking lot and give you a sympathetic smile while your kid is throwing a fit; and those who are not lucky enough to understand. So, stay strong and know you are doing the right thing for her.
SUPER KUDOS for putting the pizza down! I have been there, and have yet developed that kind of will power.
YOU GO GIRL!!!!! emoticon

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FITMOMMY18's Photo FITMOMMY18 Posts: 384
4/26/11 8:13 P

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Here's some ugly.

Just had the worst most embarrassing trip to the store ever! My husband works out of town and so I have to bring my kids to go shopping as I don't have any family around here and few friends (new in town).

My daughter 2 1/2, has gotten into this bad habit of biting apples at the store and putting them back. I usually frantically run for the apple display looking for 'the one'. I found it today, thankfully. A few minutes earlier she picked up this small mylar baloon with a smiley face and I told her she could have it, because she'd been good. When I caught her doing her apple trick yet again though, I took the balloon away. She started screaming and didn't stop until we were out of the store, yelling "I want to say sorry" and "I love you too, Mommy" in between "I want my balloon back". So I looked like an horrible mother trying to ignore her tantrum. Although I did more than just a few times get down to her level to explain to her that this was a consequence to her actions. She knows eating apples is wrong, we've had this conversation nearly ever grocery store trip for months now...
She here is this screaming child, my little guy in the shopping cart, and I'm red with shame, trying to check out with the self checkout to speed things up instead of waiting in line. I got just about every look imaginable, including the head shake and you're a bad mother look from some 20 something year old guy, the 'I understand what's going on but don't agree with what you're doing' look, the 'I feel really sorry for you', and also 'poor kid' and my favorite. Of course I'd rather see the reassuring look from another mother who knows. I even tried to explain to my daughter loudly that Daddy is out of town so we need to shop together for food. To this she replied that she didn't want food. Great. Anyways, I left humiliated, never wanting to go back.

See you next week!

I got home feeling so defeated. As I walked in the door I was greeted with the scent of the fresh baked pizza I had made before we left and before I knew it a piece was in my hand and then disappeared. But realizing what I was doing I put it down. I ate half of it and then reflected on the fact that I'm eating out of frustration.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Replies and msg by parents who get it much appreciated. emoticon



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JASEWELL SparkPoints: (923)
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4/13/11 4:11 P

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First off hats off on being concerned about doing a good job with his daughter and caring for her. Even though yall (I'm from Texas) are not married you have taken on the step mother role and that is not easy!! It does sound like he is paying too much in child support especially if yall have her half the time (one week on one week off right?). I know here in Texas you can file for a modification of child support & given that it seems like almost tru 50/50 they should drastically reduce it. You may want to call your local county court clerk office and ask about that. Good Luck!

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MELFIT021 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/9/11 5:08 A

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So im not a mom but I kinda fell into that role since i have been with my boyfriend of one year. I know it sounds crazy but I fell head over heels for this guy and have never been more happy. He has a daughter who will be 3 soon and we have her every other week for a week I have become very close to her and she is a part of my family. Its hard tho i have been around kids for 5 years but its different when your living with them and trying to potty train and I have to make sure to always keep an eye on her. I dont ever want to take the place of her mom. Im just scared that im helping raise someone elses kid and I dont want to mess up

And another vent we are having many money problems bc all the child support and insurance my bf works over 40 hours a week and only made 300 last month...yes in 1 month and now I have a 2nd job where im serving overnights at steak n shake

Edited by: MELFIT021 at: 4/9/2011 (05:13)
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SMITH4037's Photo SMITH4037 Posts: 83
4/8/11 9:51 P

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Hi LENKA-
My husband and I stayed in Flagler Beach, about 30 minutes (or so) north of Daytona Beach. We really enjoyed it, because it was not really tourist-y. For example, the beach at Flagler Beach has FREE parking alongside the road that borders the beach and ocean. There was a weekly rental of efficiency apartments at Topaz Motel attached to a restaurant called Blue at Topaz. We ate there but did not stay there. We think that's where we'll go this or next summer with our family (4 & 3 years & 3 month old). It's not as busy and touristy as Daytona or Deerfield beaches, which we've also visited in FL.

Have fun!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.
John 3:16-18
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LENKA763's Photo LENKA763 Posts: 2,395
4/8/11 10:31 A

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hello There,
I'm trying to plan a vacation with my two little boys (2&4) and I'm looking for budget friendly beach destination in Florida.

Can you suggest a place?
I have been so far only to Daytona Beach and Orlando.

Thank you,

In dreams and in life, nothing is impossible.


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JESSNSTONE's Photo JESSNSTONE SparkPoints: (11,452)
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4/6/11 1:40 P

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Tara- I really hope your day gets batter. I , too, am a stay t home mom, and there aremany days when i do not enjoy it at all, and then I feel bad because I know of so many moms that would kill to be in my shoes. The reality of it is that being a SAHM is HARD work. You are on 24 hours a day and really don't get any time for yourself. How old are your kiddos? Maybe you can plan some activities or playdates that would help alleviate the boredom. Do you belong to a gym? I know when I feel fat and bored it helps me to motivate out of the house and hit the gym. I am lucky that mine has childcare. Remember to carve out some time for yourself. YOU deserve it.

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TARA_EVELAND's Photo TARA_EVELAND SparkPoints: (0)
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3/30/11 3:16 P

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Im just not having a good day. I hate today. I feel myself getting depressed but I keep fighting it. The reality is that I feel fat, I do NOT enjoy being a stay at home wife and mother like I thought I would (just married march 4th), and Im pretty much just bored I think. I had to complain because I have so many true blessings, but hey, the topic is "a place to vent" right?

*All things are possible thought Jesus Christ who gives us strength*


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CHERYL4422 SparkPoints: (1,031)
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2/22/11 12:43 P

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kate...first congrats on the 10lbs weight loss thays awesome ..and Walt Disney said it best...."keep moving forward!!"..

tomorrow will be better

emoticon

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EJINSPIRED's Photo EJINSPIRED Posts: 82
2/22/11 9:29 A

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kate.... it sucks being a mom sometimes, expecially when your other half is sick. Their such babies when their sick!! And i know,, when we are it does'nt matter and no one helps us out!! Just wanted to give you a smile :).. it will be better tomorrow your right, get some take out pizza for supper tonight.. put on your fav CD and have a glass of wine!! (thats one thing nice about hubby going to bed early!) some time alone.. put the kids to bed and then chill!!
emoticon

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KATES83's Photo KATES83 Posts: 76
2/21/11 7:48 P

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I need more hours in the day or less to do....
Work all day, do online classes when I get home, make dinner, finish laundry I started yesterday, give the kid a bath, clean our bedroom since my husband decide to make a mess rearranging furniture yesterday, and exercise when? My husband is sick today, which is unusual since he is never sick, but why is it when I am sick I still have to do all the normal mommy things and my husband is going to bed at 7:30? Having an ARRRGH kinda day! Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better...

Kate

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
~Confucius



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2/18/11 4:26 P

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I fell like most days I am not in control of my house...a 6 year old a 2 year old and a 4 month old...yah I lost control of my house...good luck with the lunches glad I could help

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EJINSPIRED's Photo EJINSPIRED Posts: 82
2/18/11 1:45 P

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Cheryl, that is a great idea!! You mean to take to my moms when i drop her off (a lunch). She would love that it would be just like her big brother, I could buy her a cute lunch bag and all. Man i love that!! Thank - you so much,, i will let you know how it goes! And yes your right about not giving into her as well... i will try and stay strong! Its amazing when you realize you lost control and she's only 2! (man how does that happen) thanks for your help!


Edited by: EJINSPIRED at: 2/18/2011 (13:48)
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2/18/11 1:13 P

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I have learned kids will not starve themselves/// eventually she will eat her dinner, stay strong don't give in..maybe without it being rude,(my mom also babysat while we were at work) pre make some lunches as if your packing them to go to school...I don't know its worth a shot at being in more control of what she eats while your away.

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EJINSPIRED's Photo EJINSPIRED Posts: 82
2/18/11 10:51 A

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Hi I havent written before, Im Erica and i have a 2.5 yr. old girl who is driving me crazy!! She is with my mom all day while we are at work (spoiled im sure) .. She is refusing to eat what we put out for supper, says shes not hungry but then half and hour later wants cereal or something sweet! I dont want to raise a daughter with the same bad eating habits i have had all my life.So i dont let her eat .. i warm up her supper again, and again she refuses it. So now its bedtime, and i dont want her to go to bed hungry so i give in and give her cereal! Uhh and then to top it all off so you all understand why i have no patience left is a 3am she is up and wide awake wanting to play!!! She will scream and yell, even if we say "lets let her scream it out" One of us gives in just so we cant get back to sleep,, we let her crawl in bed with us.. then half and hour later she is up again and wanting to play!!! I have no idea what happened to my easy going little baby.... who is this crazy child who is male nurished and sleep deprived... and still going like a little spit fire? Meanwhile the rest of the family (husband and 10yr old son) we are all exhausted and out of ideas.... Help!

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CHUNCKYMONKEY4 SparkPoints: (885)
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2/9/11 10:50 P

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THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I needed that right now!

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PARTHRITIS SparkPoints: (969)
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2/9/11 10:06 P

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To CHUNKYMONKEY4: Hi! I started sparkpeople 3 weeks ago and was surprised to see a 9 pound weight drop in 2 weeks!!!This site is great! I have four children 14, 13, 9 and five. I have found that when they eat w me they usually enjoy our new meals from sparkpeople. If you really follow your nutrition tracker you can totally kick butt!!! Good luck!! emoticon

Edited by: PARTHRITIS at: 2/9/2011 (22:09)
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WHISPERED_EROS's Photo WHISPERED_EROS SparkPoints: (1,143)
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2/8/11 2:36 P

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emoticon First night in the new house. Bug had bad dreams all night so I was up and down with him. Neither of us got much sleep. Two accidents in the night, I think he forgot where the bathroom was in his half asleep state. I can't be mad because it's a new place and a big change but I'm so exhausted today and his dad is trying to get the last of our stuff from the old place before our time is up. I still have work this evening too...

Nothing is weaker than water. Yet against those things which are strong and hard; nothing can surpass it nor stand in its way. --Lao Tsu


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RMORMAN10 SparkPoints: (1,936)
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2/7/11 5:06 P

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That happened with my daughter too, I ended up asking her what was wrong and she let me in on a little secret. She was afraid of something and that kept her from wanting to be alone, even in the bathroom. So I helped her through it and a couple weeks later we were back to no accidents. I hope that helps and good luck.

So my question is, how do you get your child to get up in the morning. My daughter wakes up but refuses to get up and dressed, is this just a problem because of her age or do we need to get her to bed earlier? We already hit the hay at 9. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm so frustrated.

Edited by: RMORMAN10 at: 2/7/2011 (17:08)
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WHISPERED_EROS's Photo WHISPERED_EROS SparkPoints: (1,143)
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2/6/11 1:54 A

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We finally made it to completely potty trained... or so we thought. Now, after almost 6 mo of no accidents we're have 2-3 a day. We've been to the doctor and there's no medical reason. The first time around we used white underpants if he had an accident and he got character pants if he didn't. It's not seeming to work this time. Laundry has tripled.

Nothing is weaker than water. Yet against those things which are strong and hard; nothing can surpass it nor stand in its way. --Lao Tsu


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SUPERFLYFEM's Photo SUPERFLYFEM SparkPoints: (0)
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2/5/11 11:35 P

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Quick vent.... we have a foster placement and he will not eat anything good for him!! if it doesn't come from mcd's or bk then he wants nothing to do with it...I know it will get better....

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2/5/11 6:46 A

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Ugh! So last week we replaced the front brakes and one caliper after driving 20 miles with absolutely no brakes at all. This week the bearing/hub assembly in the drivers back goes. After getting it in the shop we learn the coil and strut are also bad not to mention the bearig and strut in the other side of the car is going and will need replacing soon. Wondering what's next :(

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CHUNCKYMONKEY4 SparkPoints: (885)
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2/4/11 10:54 P

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I am brand new in sparkpeople this evening. I do have a 5 yr. old but I also have an 18 yr. old, a 22 yr. old a husband, and 2 grand children.I don't have good luck with weight lose since my last child, as you can guess I am a little older than alot of yall. Well, tonight I am trying to figure out all these tabs and those tab, weigh this mesure that, ect. Here comes my 5 yr. old, "moma this moma that, moma moma moma." ok. I can still do this. Here comes my husband," whatcha doing, why, how long is this gonna take, that is silly?." as I sit and type still, 5 yr. old is back. same thing, just differently formed moma moma moma. In comes my 18 yr. old, whatcha doing? why? Whats for supper? How long? ect. ect. ect. as I get irratated with all this and ask a little loudly for a little time to my self, they all leave or atleast get quiet saying all I had to do is ask, then my older son in a little quieter voice says to me, well can I read all that while you cook dinner? I dont see how yall do this, exercise, clean, cook, work, and then I also homeschool my kids. I tip my hat to all of yall that can juggle life and lose up to there goal in weight, and exercise.

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ASEXYWITCH's Photo ASEXYWITCH Posts: 529
2/4/11 7:43 A

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Yay, I was chosen to host a Pull Ups Potty Dance Party from House Party just in time for potty training. I have hosted about 4 different ones now from Pizza to Gerber Products! You get free stuff and great coupons! I really wanted this one, I'm excited. Son turned 2 on the second and he's been ready. Having his B-day party tomorrow, have to watch my cake consumption, yikes!

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal"
Henry Ford



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PARTHRITIS SparkPoints: (969)
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2/1/11 5:50 A

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My 5 year old son thinks its ok to hit his sisters. He's started punching his 9 year old sister so hard it makes her cry and sometimes leaves marks. He thinks time outs are a joke. He is the biggest mommas boy around but doesnt take any of my punishments seriously. I dont want him to grow up thinking its oka to hit anyone, especially girls.

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1/30/11 9:23 P

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My son was the same way, he has been using the potty since he was 2 but it was always a toss up on whether he would use it or go in his diaper. I finally just took his diapers away. During Christmas break I put all of his diapers and pullup where he couldnt find them. I told him he was a big boy and knew better than to pee in his pants. I was firm on the rule that NO ONE put a pullup or diaper back on him. The entire week I was off from school I made sure to remind him he was wearing underwear and anytime I used the bathroom I made him go also. I was worried that he would have an accident at night but he surprised me with no accidents and has done great.

 
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AMANDAMORGAN7's Photo AMANDAMORGAN7 Posts: 70
1/27/11 7:19 P

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I also have a 4 year old that didn't want to use the potty. We tried everything from stikers to candy and time outs. The only thing that worked was time. It had to be on his time. With a little encouragement after he eventually seemed interested, he started to run to the potty without a reminder. He still has his days and it was so frustrating thinking he was going to never learn to use the bathroom and would be in diapers until he was 17. I understand what you are going through. But she will eventually do it. Just keep doing what you are doing.

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JROSE221 Posts: 5
1/23/11 3:59 P

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My boys are 2 and 3, and they are a struggle in any restaurant (But Burger King). We tried to take them to the movie theater to see Yogi Bear, but soon realized that they are still not quite old enough to handle this type of public outing. I'm sure they'll grow out of it eventually. Soon they will be the ones who don't want to be seen with me. emoticon

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PENNPLAX's Photo PENNPLAX Posts: 668
1/21/11 10:41 A

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Here is my rant against SpongeBob Squarepants. I love the little guy and my kids love him way too much. I made the mistake of letting them watch him for 1-2 hours per day. Now they cry when I turn off the tv and when the tv is on they are complete zombies. My mistake. Now I need to try to ween them off of this beloved character and all of his Bikini Bottom friends.

I can do it.


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1/21/11 10:10 A

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im not sure if this will help but my son is 3 1/2 and hid day care teacher helped out alot she told me that everytime he went poppy or pee in his pull up make him change his own pull up. well it worked for us he did not like that very much so a week later he said he was ready to be a big boy and use the bathroom. good luck i know its tough. she will want to soon.

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RJFERRARO315's Photo RJFERRARO315 Posts: 2,522
1/18/11 11:50 P

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My 4 year old daughter still doesn't want to use the toilet. She is perfectly happy with her pull up & could care less that it is wet for hours. UGH! I am so ready to move past this point. Any advice?

emoticon

Rebecca


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BIANCASMITH Posts: 37
1/18/11 2:48 A

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My husband took us to Apple bee's for the under 550 meals and my 2 year old was the loudest person in the whole restaurant. She was just so loud.. people were staring. Lol I'm laughing now but it was miserable. She would not stop squirming and throwing her crayon on the floor and then crying for it :l she was just in one of those moods.

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PPLUNICORN's Photo PPLUNICORN SparkPoints: (14,753)
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1/5/11 9:57 P

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I dont know if it's us, if we are doing something wrong but my daughter has turned into a monster! Tonight I just cant hold it any more....and when i vent to my husband about it we start to fight.

So the night started with us finding out that my son has a D in his band class (a whole other complain for another time). Of course I am trying to make dinner at the same time and keep my daughter busy. Then she starts yelling and hitting her brother....at dinner she wont eat, throws her plate on the floor. After dinner she is running around like crazy and hurting the dog. So I broke down and just put her in bed, but not before the fight we have almost ever night to brush teeth and put on pj's. Now I am so frustrated.

I dont understand what is going on with her. It's just been the last 4 months that we have to fight with her to be nice or do anything. Thing we like to do together are now a chore. It feels like she is in time out more then she is out of it. I dont know what I am doing wrong.....but we cant go on like this!


-Melanie :)

�It is not the length of life, but the depth of life.

�We�re always getting ready to live, but never living. �

Maybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress.
~Michelle Burford


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MOMMYOF2NC Posts: 15
1/4/11 7:19 A

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My 5-year-old (he'll be 6 in March) does that too and the only thing that works with him is to take all the Wii games away from him for a day (or 2 if he keeps at it). We have to literally pack them up and hide them from him.

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MOMMYOF2NC Posts: 15
1/4/11 7:16 A

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I normally don't vent like this but here goes...

My daughter (4 1/2) decided yesterday to first pee all over the bathroom floor (through her pants, of course) and then woke my husband and I up at 12:50 last night and proceeded to scream about anything and everything for the next hour and a half. Grrr... Somehow, my 5-year-old didn't even hear her and thankfully didn't wake up, too.

She has done bone of those things in the past but it's been about 6 months since her last episode like this and we both thought she had finally outgrown it. Not sure if she's having a little regression because yesterday was the first day back at school after the holidays or what but I'm ready for her to get back to normal again. Ugh!

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LELKINS71's Photo LELKINS71 Posts: 918
12/26/10 9:26 A

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"Venting" YAY!!!! I haven't weighed in for a very long time and I have gained 7 pounds. Very disappointed in my December. Now trying to get back on track. emoticon

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MRSJET's Photo MRSJET Posts: 66
11/9/10 9:19 P

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GRRR! I usually don't have complaints about my husband, but tonight he bugged me. I get home to a house that needs to be cleaned. I have no problem cleaning, but would like a little help. Where is he?? Sitting on the couch watching TV. I only worked an 8 hour day, got my daughter ready for daycare, took her, picked her up, and I have school work to get done. He works nights, but he has just as much time as I do during the week, why the heck is up to me to make sure all this stuff gets done???

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb


When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels



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MRSJET's Photo MRSJET Posts: 66
11/5/10 9:52 A

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My daughter decided to poop in the tub last night. She has never done this before. I can handle vomit, but I can not handle poop. It did not make for a good night. I hope she never does this again.

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb


When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels



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BUGABOO_7777's Photo BUGABOO_7777 SparkPoints: (719)
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11/2/10 3:03 P

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My son (3.5) had to strip down naked and sit on a ring on the big potty after climbing up himself on the stepstool. He never once used the little potty chair, and after a while he gave the ring and step stool up but still prefers to strip from the waist down if he has to poop so he can splay his legs out across the toilet seat. Maybe you could ask your son if there is a particular way of sitting there that he would prefer. We had several options from the little potty, big potty with ring, big potty with no ring, sitting all the way back naked, sitting on the side naked, sitting in the front with pants around his ankles (he still doesn't trust the potty enough to do this, he thinks he'll fall in and works harder on not falling in than he does on getting the poop out). It's so hard to work through this process. Good luck and hope you find the solution soon!

Edited by: BUGABOO_7777 at: 11/2/2010 (15:03)
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STIPER23's Photo STIPER23 SparkPoints: (16,432)
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11/1/10 6:28 P

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I hear that a lot about potty training kids and pooping in private. My 3-year old does both in the potty, but I have two friends who are having the pooping issue. One has had constipation issues since she was a baby and the poor thing associates pooping with pain, so she really wants her privacy.

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10/25/10 10:37 A

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As a military wife myself, I can definately understand the stress of a deployment as well as having a difficult child on top of it all! My four year old has tested the limits and has pushed me to "extreme parenting" which basically equals kid bootcamp at time. Of course I say this jokingly but there is some seriousness to it. I have done all of the methods that you have described as well as putting my son in therapy only to find out that there is nothing wrong with him or my parenting style. He is simply just a strong willed, defiant child. Here is what I have come to realize:
First, don't compare your child's behavior with that of others his age. Your child is unique. The best advice I was given by my child's councelor is to simply keep doing what I am doing and be very consistent with your consequences for unacceptable behavior as well as how quickly the punishement is given (like after two warnings etc.) It will seem like it takes forever (it has been two years in our case so far) but I promise that the consistency works. My son knows the consequences, not that he still doesn't test the limits anyway because he totaly does! We used a behavior chart for a while and he got smiley faces as a reward for hitting the good behaviors we were working on. Then at the end of the week if he got a reward if he got enough smiley faces. The rewards were simple, like baking something with me or earning more tv time. If he did really well, he sometimes got to go for ice cream or pick out a toy when we went shopping. He had a picture chart so he new how many smiley faces equaled certain rewards. It helped for a while and eventually we where able to gravitate away from the behaviors we were working on and add new ones. I liked it because we focused on positive instead of negative. Hope this helps! I know how you feel. I use to teach and tried every technique that worked in the classroom for me on my own kid only to find out that many of them didn't work for him. Just trust your parenting style and be consistent. It will take a while but eventually, it will click when he is tired of testing you. Basically, just make sure that you are more determined than he is no matter how tiring it gets!

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OPERA.SINGER's Photo OPERA.SINGER Posts: 116
10/22/10 12:49 P

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My son turned six at the beginning of this month, and he is doing the same thing your son is doing. The only thing that works for him is taking away computer privileges. But the whining is absolutely maddening. I cannot stand it. I love my son more than myself, but the whining drives me crazy. The thing that I keep trying to point out to him is that he does not behave this way at school (he started Kindergarten in August). So, I ask him to respect me and treat me the way he treats his teachers. The other thing that we are starting is using the "Green/Yellow/Red" cards that they use at his school. Green is for good behavior, yellow for a minor infraction, and red for blatantly disobeying. He really understands this sort-of discipline/good behavior reinforcement, and he completely "gets" that he is in charge of deciding what color he will get each day. If he comes home with a yellow, he doesn't get to play video games with daddy on Friday night (a major fun time for him!). So, he tells me every day, "I'm getting a green today." And I confirm that I believe he will get whatever color he chooses to get...since he is in charge of his behavior. I have decided to utilize this at home, since he really seems to understand it.

I know...this is crazy long...I hope some of it helps!
Kathleen

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P_CLARK's Photo P_CLARK Posts: 299
10/18/10 4:23 P

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Sometimes my husband really ticks me off! I would love to be a SAHM, but he has decided we cannot afford it...he is probably right, but won't actually look into it. After working all day, (he has been home all day...boys at his mom's house) I come home to a house that is a disaster...toys all over, dishes strung through the kitchen, laundry that he apparently put in the washer 3 days ago (never bothered to finish or tell me about), milk spilled all over the table with dirty plates from breakfast still sitting there with food on them. Instead of doing anything to help out, he has been out doing "target practice" with his father. I want to go hide in the bedroom and tell him to let me know when he has bothered to clean even the littlest bit. But no, it is apparently my job to work all day and pick up after his laziness. Okay, I had a crappy day at work, so this might be bothering more than usual, but still if I left the house like this, it would be unacceptable. It would be another thing, if he actually did some of the things he said he needed to do today...like fix the dog fence (hasn't been working for more than a week), but no he "didn't have time." Okay, thanks for listening if you took the time to read all this. I think I will try to get over it now.

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