Yesterday marked the anniversary of the day I found out that my cancer returned in the form of bone mets. I had had my PET/CT scan, which showed "hot spots", and then I had the bone scan to confirm what they were. It was April 9, 2007, that the oncology nurse called with the news. My next appointment with Dr. Pawl was still a week away, but it was rescheduled for the next day.
I thought I was prepared to hear that news, because I had a feeling for a few months before that that it was back. In my mind, I accepted it, or at least I told myself I did. It still felt like a blow to hear to hear the news.
I remember calling Mom and Dad to tell them, that was so hard. And I remember sitting on the exam table in Dr.Pawl's office at the Specialty Clinic, waiting for him to come in. As soon as he walked in, I couldn't help, I just burst into tears. Then he gave me a hug and said, "You are going to be alright, we can treat this".
Things happened pretty fast after that; I got my leave of absence put in at work, had my Bard port put in, started a monthly regimen of Zometa infusions and Faslodex injections, and I had about 5 weeks of radiation to my hip.
I went back to work part time towards the end of June that year, then back to full time in August. It was a struggle at times, and I tried hard, but I was just getting too worn out and depressed living with the cancer and trying to work, not to mention putting up with all the BS that comes with working at Walmart. So in November of last year, I quit working and went on SSDI. It was a very hard decision to make, but I'm glad I finally did it, it's the best thing I could have done for my health.
What will the future hold? That I don't know; cancer is a very unpredictable disease. I try not to think too far ahead into the future, just taking each day as it comes. For now, I am still on my Zometa and Faslodex, and so far, the mets have remained stable. My last bone scan was in November, so I'm sure the next one is coming up before summer gets here.
My name is Shari; I have been a Sparker since July 2006, and living with Stage IV breast cancer since 2007.
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
A. A. Milne
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