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CYNDY55 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/5/09 12:40 P

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THAT IS CRAZY...NOT EVERYONE DONATES INTO THE BASKET EVERY WEEK...PRICES GO UP BUT WAGES DON'T...ALSO THANKS FOR THE INFO...

Edited by: CYNDY55 at: 4/5/2009 (12:41)
TO BELITTLE IS TO BE Little...........INTIMACY,"into me you see.".......TO ERR Is HUMAN.....To Really SCREW Things Up.......YOU Need A COMPUTER


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AJDOVER1's Photo AJDOVER1 SparkPoints: (245,926)
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4/3/09 1:55 P

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Thanks, doingitforme! I'm forwarding it to my homegroup's treasurer. I'm surprised our GSR didn't notify us in advance.

Let's walk!


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GREENERGIRL's Photo GREENERGIRL Posts: 115
4/2/09 10:21 P

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doingit4me - that is good. Sounds surprisingly similar to fees recently being charged by airlines. emoticon

Edited by: GREENERGIRL at: 4/3/2009 (23:01)
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SBATES63's Photo SBATES63 Posts: 8,614
4/2/09 1:59 P

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That was a good one. I am going to copy and paste it and send it to a couple of my AA friends who will appreciate it.

Persevere. Even if you fall on your face, you have moved forward.

PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.


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LISASJOURNEY2's Photo LISASJOURNEY2 Posts: 3,323
4/2/09 11:35 A

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Due to the Economy: Hard Times in AA Dues & Fee Rate Hikes


Due to the downturn in the economy, Alcoholics Anonymous will NO LONGER be due and membership "Free", as has been the case for almost 75 years. Like many businesses, AA will now be charging for some things that used to be free, such as:
1--Being Rocketed into the 4th Dimension---$49.99 per trip, fuel surcharge applies, extra baggage NOT included. 5th dimension trips optional, see your sponsor for details.
2--Sponsorship--was free, NOW $9.99 per month, with 4 visits/20 phone calls per month free, after that, $2.00 each.
3--Membership Dues now $29.99/month, 10% discount for a 1-year plan.
4--Seating charges--Each seat now $1.00 per meeting, with a 20% discount for the 90-in-90 plan.
5--Pink Cloud was free, NOW $14.99 per cloud, with a $5.00 per event environmental cleanup fee. These are the NEW ozone-free Pink Clouds that do NOT add to global warming.
6--Coffee to be $1.50 per cup, with a 10% discount for 5 or more cups.
7--Hugs now will be $2.50 each.
8--Concious Contact with GOD now $9.99/month, with the first 450 minutes free, then 0.10 cents/minute fee over. New Double your minutes for life plan is a low 49.99 one time charge. Holidays and weekends extra, see rate schedule, as GOD is VERY busy.
9--Accidental cell phone going off charge now set at $25.00 per episode.
10--"Ive been Thinking" fees to now be $3.00 each, with a relapse re-entry fee of only $99.99 each, if your lucky enough to make it back into the rooms.
Please, void where prohibited by law, AA reserves the right to change none, all, or some of these rates at anytime, with no notice to you. If you need a notice of change of rates, a written request may be sent to headquarters in new York, of course, a $10.00 fee applies.

" We are what we do... Not what we did. Now if we continue doing what we used to do, we can't be upset that we are still what we were, simply because we're still doing what we did!"~Damon Lofton


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AJDOVER1's Photo AJDOVER1 SparkPoints: (245,926)
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3/22/09 10:21 A

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Another indication you MAY be an alcoholic:

You routinely find you have sunburn on the roof of your mouth.

Let's walk!


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JAVANUT1's Photo JAVANUT1 Posts: 2,228
3/22/09 7:44 A

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Don't take them too seriously, but here are some indications that you just might have a drinking problem...
20. You have awakened with an overwelming feeling that you should go back and apologize... but you don't remember where.

19. The Tipsy Taxi service has banned you from all its vehicles.

18. You refer to your favorite song only by its jukebox selection numbers, G-12.

17. People consider your spouse a Saint for reasons that totally escape you.


"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

Mary L. in Virginia


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GREENERGIRL's Photo GREENERGIRL Posts: 115
3/21/09 9:34 P

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THanks for the laughs!

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GREENERGIRL's Photo GREENERGIRL Posts: 115
3/21/09 9:34 P

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THanks for the laughs!

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SBATES63's Photo SBATES63 Posts: 8,614
3/21/09 7:52 A

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Another Cheers fan?

Persevere. Even if you fall on your face, you have moved forward.

PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.


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JAVANUT1's Photo JAVANUT1 Posts: 2,228
3/21/09 7:14 A

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A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

emoticon

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

Mary L. in Virginia


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JAVANUT1's Photo JAVANUT1 Posts: 2,228
3/17/09 8:00 P

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Got another one before the day of the Irish is over....can you guess that I'm Irish and proud!

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."


"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

Mary L. in Virginia


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SBATES63's Photo SBATES63 Posts: 8,614
3/17/09 10:30 A

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Laughter is so important to living life to it's fullest. Sometimes we forget to smile at the little things.

Persevere. Even if you fall on your face, you have moved forward.

PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.


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KUZINKEITH's Photo KUZINKEITH SparkPoints: (0)
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3/17/09 8:38 A

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Especially true in Texas ---
Thanks for the giggle!


PEACE
KEITH

If you let go a little you will have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot you will have a lot of happiness.
If you let go completely you will be free. - Ajahn Chah

I won't be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. (The Prisoner)

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
-- Aeschylus


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JAVANUT1's Photo JAVANUT1 Posts: 2,228
3/17/09 7:34 A

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Happy St. Patrick's Day to all:

Subject: FW: Don't Mess With The Irish

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas. Father O'Malley rose from his

bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission

parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of

the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying

dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the police

Station......
&#
8232;
The conversation went like this: 'Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones.

How might I help you?'


'And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's

Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and

would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the

matter?'


232;Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a

smirk, 'Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people

took care of the last rites!'


There was dead silence on the line for a long

moment..................
........................



Father O'Malley then replied: 'Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also

obliged to notify the next of kin.'




"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

Mary L. in Virginia


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