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CATTY!'s Photo CATTY! SparkPoints: (0)
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6/27/08 9:55 P

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MIsty, I have that same issue! I often feel I will never 'get it' and give up. Thanks for mentioning your struggle with that and the encouragement to never give up. I know that, but sometimes I don't believe it and other times I forget it. Thanks!

xx-Catherine

"If I change my thinking, I will change my feelings. If I change my feelings, I will change my actions. If I change my actions, I will change my life."


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TERRIDACTYL23's Photo TERRIDACTYL23 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/13/08 6:43 P

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Chris, you are so diplomatic!!

What I would say is, "Thanks, you do too." and I would say it with a huge enthusiastic smile.

Don't let anyone make you feel inferior, because, that is what they want to do. It makes them feel like they are better than you, see?

And Misty, every single one of the people you mentioned look at you that way too. How do you look at them? Of course they see the wonder of you. My grandma is laid up in a hospital bed every time I see her, and she is still so beautiful to me. She has gorgeous eye lashes and the most supple skin. Her smile brightens my day every single time.

Terri



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MISTYMOON1's Photo MISTYMOON1 Posts: 141
6/13/08 5:47 P

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When this thread was first started back in April I could not think of one person that I could imagine what they loved about me. Oh I have my sons and grandchildren and husband that love me but I couldn't think of what they would see. Then I thought of my dog - he is a rescue after being abused. He very rarely leaves my side - I am his hero. But that is about what I am to him. Then today I was rereading and went back to Paul's video. Pure Joy! Not only was I able to imagine it I was able to bring it with me. And it is still here. I am worth it.
The lesson for me - sometimes I give up because I think I will never "get it". DON'T GIVE UP! emoticon

Oh, and keep rereading lol

Edited by: MISTYMOON1 at: 6/13/2008 (17:48)
Knowledge - Accountability -
CHOICE


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KOOKOO4CRUISES's Photo KOOKOO4CRUISES Posts: 306
6/13/08 4:24 P

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Thanks! That is a good idea! And I'm not just saying that.

Whatever you think will happen, you're right.

I am choosing to think positively now!


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DEMURALIST's Photo DEMURALIST SparkPoints: (21,196)
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6/13/08 4:18 P

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ooo, beware of "helpful comments" in "I am jealous" clothing!

Sounds to me that these are coming from a place of feeling threatened, more than from a friendly suggestion.

To "you look tired" you say, "you porbably just don't recognize what my face looks like when it is thin. Thanks for noticing"

To "you have a scowl" you say, "I saw your reflection in my monitor as you were coming down the hall", no you can't say that...try "maybe I need to have my eyes checked, it is getting harder for me to see the monitor, thanks for noticing"

Or my personal favorite to all balloon popping comments. A huge grin and a hearty sincere thanks. It usually makes them wonder if you heard what they said.

Chris
54 y.o. Wife and Mother of 2 (19 and 17), living in Middle Tennessee.


You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?"
BOB MOAWAD





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KOOKOO4CRUISES's Photo KOOKOO4CRUISES Posts: 306
6/13/08 3:42 P

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Ok, I have a puzzler in this arena.

I've been feeling happier and had more self esteem lately thru PM techniques and exercise and taking better loving care of myself but have two co-workers that keep saying things to me that are sort of balloon poppers.

One tells me almost every day lately how tired I look. I'm not sure what to say to that?

Well, maybe this is just how I look! I do have insomnia but it has been improving with my other life improvements, so it's weird that NOW I supposedly look tired. I guess the crazed, wild-eyed, haven't slept in days look is more attractive on me?

And another stopped by just a few minutes ago to tell me I was scowling and to remember it's Friday. I might have been scowling but I was just concentrating on my computer screen.

Do these things have a deeper meaning I should be chekcing out or is it just a way for these folks to strike up conversations with me?

Whatever you think will happen, you're right.

I am choosing to think positively now!


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POUNDCAKES's Photo POUNDCAKES Posts: 4,743
5/6/08 10:40 A

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Thank you for this. Self esteem and how we see ourselves is usually very skewed---am working on it! I wear bright colors to help me feel good!

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LUVSDRAGONFLIES's Photo LUVSDRAGONFLIES Posts: 706
4/30/08 8:23 P

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I find the best way for me to look at someone who loves me is picture my nieces and look at how they look at me when we are playing, talking. They have a sparkle in their eyes, they are smiling, and they laugh a lot.

Heather }!{
Pregnancy Due Date -4/30/10
goal weight 135
Sw:195
Spsw:170
Kidney Transplant Jan 22, 2004


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SUGARSMOM2 SparkPoints: (146,183)
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4/27/08 11:30 A

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i find myself printing out many of your posts . you are a good motivator thank you very much . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

sugarsmom2 donna wva


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THATSY's Photo THATSY Posts: 938
4/15/08 9:16 P

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Oh... that's too cool.
Dogs are awesome!

Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.

Eckhart Tolle


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CALLIOPEDAK's Photo CALLIOPEDAK Posts: 3,242
4/15/08 4:37 P

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I couldn't think of anyone who loves me who hasn't -- at one time or other -- expressed dismay over my weight.

Then a comment on another topic list made it click -- my dog!

My Bree loves me utterly and unconditionally (ditto). I picture myself through her eyes and I just glow with wonderfulness.

Callie
CHARJKA's Photo CHARJKA Posts: 129
4/15/08 11:10 A

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I had to imagine what I looked like from God's eyeview-if you follow me. Who I am in my essence-and that works very well for me. I have always had some sort of body image problem, and recognized early on what a great gap there was between who I am and who I even perceive myself to be, let alone others...yeesh.

This is a great journey-isn't it?

Cindy

-Become what you believe. (Matt 9:29)



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TERRIDACTYL23's Photo TERRIDACTYL23 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/15/08 7:45 A

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Hmmm? . . . .

How about you think of someone you love? Do you look at their stomache or their butt and how jiggly they are? No! You think of their beauty, and how wonderful that person is.

So try to imagine what someone that loves you thinks when they look at you. They think of your beauty only, not your jiggly butt.

Terri



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THATSY's Photo THATSY Posts: 938
4/14/08 9:37 P

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This is very challenging for me. I can't imagine what I'm like through someone else's eyes. I think I will just have to keep working at it.
I keep seeing what I see instead...


Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.

Eckhart Tolle


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TERRIDACTYL23's Photo TERRIDACTYL23 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/14/08 9:31 P

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I copied this from Dr. McKenna's USA site.

Before you do this exercise read through all the steps first.

Everyone receives compliments and praise from time to time. Sometimes they may seem trivial, like ‘Hey, you’re looking great’ or ‘You look sharp today’. At other times they may seem quite significant, like ‘You are so sexy’, or ‘Do you know how much people respect you?’

Sincere, positive perceptions from others, which you might not have been able to see or fully appreciate from the point of view you had at the time, can be valuable in learning to appreciate your own qualities more fully and enhance your self-esteem now.

The next three techniques will help you to eliminate emotional hunger by enabling you to feel better and better about yourself every time you look in the mirror. Read through each technique several times until you know the steps and then go and do it. The entire process will take no more than ten minutes, and can be repeated as often as you choose.

Here are several techniques that will help you increase your self esteem and confidence right now. I have written out each step so you can read through them before you do them if you like.:

1. If it’s appropriate, close your eyes and think of someone who loves or deeply appreciates you. Remember how they look, and imagine they are standing in front of you now.

2. Gently step out of your body and into the body of the person who loves you. See through their eyes, hear through their ears, and feel the love and good feelings they have as you look at yourself. Really notice in detail what it is that they love and appreciate about you. Recognize and acknowledge those amazing qualities that perhaps you hadn’t appreciated about yourself until now.

3. Step back into your own body and take a few moments to enjoy those good feelings of knowing that you are loved and appreciated exactly as you are.

You can keep that inner feeling with you for hours and hours and re-run this exercise whenever you want to boost it. The more you do it, the easier it becomes, and eventually it becomes almost automatic to love and feel loved.


The video is at this link, login to his site and then watch
www.mckenna.com/default.aspx?pid=53



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