Well I am just starting out on sparks but I am not new to the whole weight loss thing and what Sue and Mary both wrote are so true.
I am working at small changes, small goals and when I feel that I really have a grasp of those then I move on and make more. In all my other attempts It was quick and I worked on the outside but never really felt comfortable from inside out. I also didn't have a support group.
I figure it took me 34 years to get here so I need to be patient. Our poodles are very helpful in the process. Jabulani is my motivation to get balanced again :)
We will do it! One day at a time :) Thanks for posting, Susie and Jabulani
Sue I am so glad you responded because I was going to use you as an example of learning to accept and love yourself. I have been here for your process of positive changes with positive thinking and it is amazing how it really does work.
I also want you to know that I am using this same process of self like and acceptance for my 21 year old grand son who is so depressed all the time. Mainly his depression has come from his mother telling him for years how stupid and worthless he is. Trying to change his internal dialog with himself from negative to positive is slow, but I do see progress.
If you try to make one change, and then keep doing it for a while, it becomes part of your process. Not that you won't ever slip back into old behaviors. lets face it, we are humans and we are fallible.
I do so hope you follow what Sue says above because I have seen her evolve myself. it works.
Let me also suggest that you get the DVD The Secret and watch it. watch it several times. Positive breeds positive. If you learn to think positively, positive things will be achieved. negativity only breeds negativity, so you have to change the tide.
So glad you are a part of our little Poodle club!
Mary in Alabama
If I can quit smoking, I can lose weight!
"How beautiful a day can be When kindness touches it!" - George Elliston
It is a process that often takes convoluted roads. The first thing I had to do was turn off the internal dialogue that was beating me up. "You are fat". "you are so ugly", "You'll never amount to anything", "you are so stupid", etc.
These negative records that go round and round in our heads were often said to us by others. My first step was to take my POWER back. I used to be very anxiety prone until I finally decided to replace the broken records. I would wake up in the morning and say "I love and approve of myself". At first, it was hollow but eventually, I found I do love and approve of myself just as I am, warts, fat and all. I learned to value those parts of me that excel - my humor, my kindness, ny comapssion, etc.
Then I developed an affirmation mantra "I am happy, healthy, slender and prosperous." Now to me slender does not mean beanpole. In my mind's eye it is a healthy weight body - it is the word that closest fits that for me. Whenever the negative records start up, I repeat it over and over. Amazingly that phrase shows up unbidden when I see donuts or other fattening things particularly in the grocery store. Or when I am shopping with friends and am compelled to spend money I really don't have. Or when life's situations start to needle me.
Have I lost a ton of weight? Not really. Lost a good bit of fat and replaced it with muscle though. When our physcial bodies are beset with injuries and on-going illness (in my case diabetes) it is hard to shed weight. But my blood work is showing that I am much healthier. I reduced the number of perscriptions I take from 6 down to 2. I was at 1 for 3 years but now have to take a low dose for my diabetes. I do not get colds and bugs as often as I used to. These are great accomplishments!
Give yourself permission to make one change at a time. I found working with little goals works better for me. There are some longer term goals. But some days I find it easier to focus on one - like - today I am going to do 20 minutes on the bike. Or today I will go to the gym. Or today I will not eat refined sugar. Then if I accomplish that I may challenge myself to not eat any bread for the day or some other challenge. Simple things - but they add up - not just calorie wise, but enrgy wise, sense of I CAN DO IT wise.
Getting ourselves in a state of emotional and mental balance goes a long way. Self care is so important. As an energy worker (I am a Reiki practiioner) I know the value regularly taking time to relax. For myself, once evey 4-6 weeks, I schedule a Reiki, massage or acupressure session for myself. To me this time of self care to relax and get blockages out my energy system are extremely important. If I have an injury or some other crisis, I go more frequently. The body can heal itself in amazing ways when we totally relax and let the stress go; when we allow a sense of well being to occur. Even for an hour, although you will find good energy work stays in the system quite a bit longer than the session itself..
I did not get here at this physical condition that I am in at 55 all at once. I got here making decisions one at a time (many of them not healthy ones) and that is how I am reagaining my health, one decision at a time.
Be gentle with yourself - celebrate your successes and shrug off the little goals that slip away. Kiss them goodbye and shoot for the next one. Take a lesson from your poodle. They really do live in the moment and use a lot of self care. They sleep, eat, play and seek affection when they need it. They don't plan it or withhold it - they just follow their little wisdoms.
Use your own internal wisdom to guide you. Watch your language and use only use positive words. When you talk about your hips, say it in a way that your whole being values your hips as they are. Perhaps you could say "My hips support me and are healthy" - they will respond to that. Our bodies listen to the energy of our words. The more we say we hurt, the more we do. The mind is a powerful thing. So use yours to its fullest to help you experience all you are and all you are becoming.
Try this fill in the blank: Just for today, I will do ____________ to take care of myself.
Don't know if this helps at all but perhaps something will resonate for you.
Oh, and I am happy, healthy, slender and prosperous. :-)
Bright Blessings Sue
Edited by: STARLASUE at: 2/4/2011 (08:38)
Bright Blessings Sue
My positive affirmation, said many times during the day: I am happy, healthy, slender and prosperous.
Ok.. This sounds incredibly stupid coming from a 43 year old multi degree college educated person.
How do you change?
I don't mean just the food, or just do it. I'm not looking for quick and I know darn good and well that it ain't going to be easy.
But simply how do you change the self defeating insidious and not always obvious behaviors that can fly below personal radar and screw up your body, relationships and your job when they blow up in your face?
How do you get from point A (Lazy butt) to Point B (Productive and Happy and Healthy person)? And away from the ostrich head in the sand that says, I do good... ignoring the behaviors that are eating away at what is really the goal?
I'm floundering here... I know my job, I know what is right and what is wrong and I know how to do things. However, it seems that when I look at it, I have not changed... On the surface, yes... deep and inside? No.
If I had, I would be at my goal weight, not facing hip replacements from hip displaysia in the future, exercising regularly and well, working at a job that I am good at and trained for and not facing the prospect of diabetes or other health problems because I can NOT seem to really change that inner weak and lazy me....
How do you know when you are not just 'talking the talk but walking the walk?'
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