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TRIM180's Photo TRIM180 Posts: 2,680
10/26/14 9:23 A

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emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SOTEIRA75's Photo SOTEIRA75 Posts: 10
10/16/14 3:00 P

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A 5th grader asked her mother the age-old question,
"How did I get here?"
Her mother told her, "God sent you."
"Did God send you, too?" asked the child.
"Yes, Dear," the mother replied.
"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" the child persisted.
"He sent them also," the mother said.
"Did he send their parents, too?" asked the child.
"Yes, Dear, He did," said the mother patiently.
"So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in this family for 200 years?
No wonder everyone's so damn grouchy around here."

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SPARKED2BFIT's Photo SPARKED2BFIT SparkPoints: (14,737)
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10/16/14 4:50 A

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Love this joke. no matter how many times I've read it, I still laugh. hope you do too.


THE GREAT POTATO EXERCISE
(as always, check with your doctor before attempting)


BEGIN by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

WITH a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

EACH day youíll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

THEN try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (Iím at this level)


AFTER you feel confident at that level..



PUT a potato in each bag.


emoticon emoticon emoticon


Debbie (HT)

Sometimes the strength within isn't a big fiery flame for all to see. It's just a tiny spark that whispers... 'you got this!'

Heaviest.. 38.9 bmi
Current.... 31.1
Target - Healthy


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TRIM180's Photo TRIM180 Posts: 2,680
10/12/14 11:52 A

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Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. emoticon

Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 183."

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" emoticon

Edited by: TRIM180 at: 10/12/2014 (11:53)
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SPARKED2BFIT's Photo SPARKED2BFIT SparkPoints: (14,737)
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10/11/14 10:32 P

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TUCKEYCHICKEN - first time i've read your joke about the coffee break and burst out laughing! I'm so glad i wasnt eating or drinking anything at the time. thx for the laugh!!

keep those jokes coming and if i find one, i'll post it too. have a nice weekend team!! emoticon

Debbie (HT)

Sometimes the strength within isn't a big fiery flame for all to see. It's just a tiny spark that whispers... 'you got this!'

Heaviest.. 38.9 bmi
Current.... 31.1
Target - Healthy


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TUCKEYCHICKEN's Photo TUCKEYCHICKEN Posts: 23
10/11/14 8:54 P

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@ Trim180 Those are real cute and sweet jokes the kind you can share with your family for a laugh. Thanks!! emoticon

Edited by: TUCKEYCHICKEN at: 10/11/2014 (20:55)
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TRIM180's Photo TRIM180 Posts: 2,680
10/11/14 7:35 P

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Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
emoticon A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
emoticon A: Spelling!

Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
emoticon A: She witch-hiked!

Edited by: TRIM180 at: 10/11/2014 (19:35)
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TUCKEYCHICKEN's Photo TUCKEYCHICKEN Posts: 23
9/15/14 7:15 P

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A guy dies and well doesn't make it to heaven. Instead he is standing there with the devil and the the devil gives him a choice of three doors and what ever door he walks through he has to spend eternity there.

Well he opens the first door and he sees people walking in their bare feet on nails and tacs. They are all screaming in pain, so he decides to look in the next door. Well the people there are walking in their bare feet on broken glass and sharp objects and they are also screaming in pain. The guy then decides to open the 3rd and final door and he sees people standing around drinking coffee, but they are standing knee deep in pee and poop. Well I do love coffee and I suppose after a while I will get use to the smell, so he walks in and then he hears a man say o.k. everyone coffee breaks over back on your heads.

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LOVESLIFE48's Photo LOVESLIFE48 SparkPoints: (191,262)
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11/2/11 8:13 P

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What do accountants do when they are constipated?


They work it out with a pencil LOL!!!

Hello!! I'm Linda/Lyn from St. Louis, MO USA!

Live, laugh, love, relax and play!!

I love life!!!


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YESI1211's Photo YESI1211 SparkPoints: (24,298)
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9/12/11 10:01 A

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LOL!


Mother: Come on John you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school.
John: Ahh mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too.
Mother: Yes you do.
John: Give me a good reason
Mother: You're 44 and your the Principal!


Long-term Goal: To overcome my hesitation and stay focused long enough no matter what happens in my life.

Medium-Term Goal: Reaching my goal 5% at a time.

Short-Term Goal:
*Drink my water daily
*30 min Exercise (and work my way up) 4 times/wk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Give TODAY your 100% effort, and after 365 TODAYS see what you have accomplished"


LEADER of O.D.A.A.T.
"ONE DAY AT A TIME"



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YESI1211's Photo YESI1211 SparkPoints: (24,298)
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9/9/11 11:28 A

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REPOST: LOL!

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."



Long-term Goal: To overcome my hesitation and stay focused long enough no matter what happens in my life.

Medium-Term Goal: Reaching my goal 5% at a time.

Short-Term Goal:
*Drink my water daily
*30 min Exercise (and work my way up) 4 times/wk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Give TODAY your 100% effort, and after 365 TODAYS see what you have accomplished"


LEADER of O.D.A.A.T.
"ONE DAY AT A TIME"



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YESI1211's Photo YESI1211 SparkPoints: (24,298)
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8/31/11 10:59 P

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" Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert..........." Follow link to read the full article



www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughte
r_
health.htm


Long-term Goal: To overcome my hesitation and stay focused long enough no matter what happens in my life.

Medium-Term Goal: Reaching my goal 5% at a time.

Short-Term Goal:
*Drink my water daily
*30 min Exercise (and work my way up) 4 times/wk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Give TODAY your 100% effort, and after 365 TODAYS see what you have accomplished"


LEADER of O.D.A.A.T.
"ONE DAY AT A TIME"



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QUENNEVILLE's Photo QUENNEVILLE Posts: 9,891
8/31/11 8:30 P

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I'm not really one for jokes but will stop by and read whatever people send in.

MaryBeth from Ontario


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YESI1211's Photo YESI1211 SparkPoints: (24,298)
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8/31/11 3:40 P

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Share a joke with the team!!! Share something cute and adorable!!! Anything that will bring a smile to your face.

Have you ever heard the saying that LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE? Life can be pretty hectic and this journey to health is not an easy one. It can be pretty stressful and stress is not good for us.

So why not use this thread to cheer each other up? Lets make humor part of our daily lives. You may just make somebody's day.



Long-term Goal: To overcome my hesitation and stay focused long enough no matter what happens in my life.

Medium-Term Goal: Reaching my goal 5% at a time.

Short-Term Goal:
*Drink my water daily
*30 min Exercise (and work my way up) 4 times/wk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Give TODAY your 100% effort, and after 365 TODAYS see what you have accomplished"


LEADER of O.D.A.A.T.
"ONE DAY AT A TIME"



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