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WILDBEANERZ's Photo WILDBEANERZ SparkPoints: (5,380)
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5/22/12 9:00 A

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I know that the people that I am close with (family & friends) say stuff about it all the time. Now that I am 85lbs into it, I know that others HAVE to notice. Most of the people who don't say anything to me about but I see them looking are girls at work. They are the type who are constantly on WW but in the 2 yrs that I have known them I don't see any physical changes to their bodies. I don't think they stick with it hard enough. They seem to start every New Years for a few months. So I just figure that they are either jealous or they are unsure how to approach the subject because we don't really talk on a daily basis. The funny thing is that the guys in the warehouse are more open about it. They will tell me that I look good or that I have been doing a great job! LOL

April - 35yr 5'10" mom of two teen boys :)

331.2 lbs 02.21.11 (start) size 28W-30W jeans
230.0 lbs 07.30.12 (current) size 16W

Progress 101.2 lbs - 30.6% of my original weight ;)
Starting BMI 47.52 extreme obesity .... Current BMI 33.1 "simply" obese - much closer to overweight than extreme obese now!!



~*~*~If we keep doing what we have always done, we'll keep getting what we've always had.~*~*~


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ANANDA82's Photo ANANDA82 SparkPoints: (42,227)
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5/19/12 11:06 A

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Thank you all for the great answers! I guess that's part of that whole "girls cannot be friends without competing" stereotype. On the other hand, my true girlfriends make the sweetest comments and I can see that they are genuinely happy for me. I can say I've been getting the best and the worst from my friends. Needless to say that I've been way more selective about my friendships...

SUNFLOWERSAVAGE that's right, that's exactly what I'm doing, changing my role. If they have a problem with that, then they are not worth calling friends. Thank you for the encouragement!

BEFEARLESSNOW could it be that your parents don't want you to think they're putting pressure on you by making comments about your weight loss? Or maybe they just don't know how much you value their opinion. I come from Italian background on both sides of the family... It took so long to get them convinced that "yes, that's all I'm gonna eat because I'm full... not because I don't like your food anymore." It's even harder with my grandma, I actually have to leave the table when I'm done or else she will put more food on my plate! Not because she wants me fat, but because that's it's always been.

LISSASLOSINIT those 12 weeks make sense, some people actually don't pay that much attention to us as much as we think we do. But the friends I'm talking about I know for sure they've noticed. You know those looks you get from a girl examining you from head to toe, even if it's just a glimpse? Plus, they are usually the girls that love attention. Coincidence? I don't think so. And you're spot on. This change is for ME, for the first time it is for ME and that's why it's working better than ever. Also, this has been a very good tool to recognize who my true friends are and remove negative influence from my life.

PUGLOVER1999 I've done the same mistake as you and I've changed my mindset as well. I quit doing this for other people, I do it for myself and it's been working greatly! No one can motivate me better than myself. The same way I'm accountable for my accomplishments, I'm also accountable for my setbacks. Having joined SP has helped me a lot dealing with the latter as I finally have people I can share experiences with, like you guys!

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”


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PUGLOVER1999's Photo PUGLOVER1999 SparkPoints: (20,841)
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5/19/12 9:30 A

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What a thought-provoking topic! It gives me something to think about, too.

I agree with LISSASLOSINIT

When I had lost more than 20 pounds a certain family member who I hoped would notice approvingly never said anything. In my mind I thought he was just wondering when I would gain it back ... and indeed I started doing just that! However, I'm losing it again ... for the last time ... and one of the things I'm remembering every calorie of the way is that this is for ME. This time I'm not putting too much stock in what people don't notice OR the discouraging things that others say (probably because they cannot handle the change in me).

Tha;nks for your questions and all the good answers!

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -- Henry David Thoreau

I didn't get fat for anyone else and I am not getting thin for anyone else! I'm doing it for myself!

Losing weight is hard. Being fat is hard. Maintaining the loss is hard.


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LISSASLOSINIT's Photo LISSASLOSINIT SparkPoints: (11,960)
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5/19/12 7:49 A

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You're not alone. It's sometimes hard for others to recognize or accept the success of people in their lives, for whatever reason. I just read that it takes 12 weeks for "the world" to notice changes when you're losing weight. I wouldn't sweat it- if they haven't noticed at 20 lbs, maybe they will further down the road! If they're being rude about your weight loss, you don't need them in your life and you should move on to meeting and bonding with more supportive people. All that truly matters is that YOU know you're getting healthy and keep doing what you're doing. After all, this journey is for you, not them, right?

emoticon

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

"If you really want more, scream it out louder,
If you're on the floor, bring out the fire,
And light it up, take it up higher,
Gonna push it to the limit, give it more."
BEFEARLESSNOW's Photo BEFEARLESSNOW Posts: 300
5/19/12 6:29 A

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I got that from my parents. I dont know if they were just oblivious or for the meer fact that I rarely get recognition for any of my accomplishments. I lost 40 lbs before either of them said, "oh, are you losing weight?" I was happy to finally hear that they noticed something, but at the same time I was a little sad because it took that long. My dad cooks goodies all the time and everytime he would ask me if I wanted some I would tell him no thank you, I'm trying to stay away from all of that stuff.

The only thing standing between you and your goal is yourself and your fear.. Be Fearless!

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.


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SUNFLOWERSAVAGE's Photo SUNFLOWERSAVAGE SparkPoints: (21,690)
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5/19/12 1:32 A

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Any time we change significantly, there are people that are going to be uncomfortable with us stepping out of our box. You are changing your role and some people can't handle that.
It is their issue, not yours.
Keep up the great work Done Girl!!!

~Deanna

"We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear. ~"Martin Luther King, Jr.

"You are not your mother, your father, your history, or your cultural influences. You are uniquely and originally you. Be bold and daring and fearless and unconventional. Be willing to use your voice in service to your soul. Go on. Rock that damn boat. The wave you create might just change the world!"

~Cheryle Richardson


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ANANDA82's Photo ANANDA82 SparkPoints: (42,227)
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5/19/12 1:15 A

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Hello DONE girls! Do you guys feel like some of your friends (girls) have issues with your weight loss? I've lost about 20 lbs since I joined SP and I have done this in the past. I'm sure it shows because I heard people asking if I lost 30-40 lbs both times. In fact, I hear that from my family and my friends. Only my true friends. Each time I lost weight I noticed that some girls simply decide not to acknowledge my accomplishments.

I don't crave attention, trust me, but I'm talking about people I know for years, decades. People that know how much I've struggled with my weight throughout my life. People that get a lot of support from me! I wonder if it's because they're used to me being THE fat girl of the group and don't want to share the spotlight, I don't know...

Well, has any of you experienced that or am I overthinking a problem that doesn't exist? emoticon

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”


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